When You Make It Home (28 page)

She caught the eye of one of the twins. “Shiny,” he said.

“Mine,” the other little boy said, and as they clamored to her, Chelsea sat on the floor taking them into her arms. They pulled on her necklaces and bracelets, and when one boy tugged on her chandelier earring, she removed it and handed it to him.

Poppy walked over and sat next to Chelsea, too.

“My name is Chelsea,” she said, taking off a string of colorful beads and putting them on the girl. “Can we be friends?”

Poppy smiled. “You’re pretty,” she said, staring.

“You are too.”

Steve watched Chelsea, and I knew he wasn’t going to kick Jason and his kids out. He wasn’t going to let Chelsea go, either. My brother was going to break out of his cycle, and I needed to do the same.

I missed Theo horribly, but I had to let go. I couldn’t fix my relationship with Theo, but maybe I could help save the relationships around me. I needed to get Dad back with Nina, but first I needed to help Jason get home to his wife—not only for his kids, but for my daughter as well. There had to be some way to make it right for all of us.

“How about if I order pizza for dinner?” I stood in the corner, calling in the order, when Dad came in. He laughed as he walked through the door.

“Come on in,” he said to someone behind me. I held my breath. Maybe I wouldn’t have to intervene with him and Nina after all. But in walked Hazel.

Chapter Twenty-three

“Y
ou can’t be here.” I blocked her entrance. Once Hazel became entrenched in the house, we might never be able to get rid of her, like cockroaches.

“It’s okay,” Dad said. “I invited her to join us.”

“No, absolutely not. This is a conflict of interest.” It would be the end of the world if Dad and Hazel hooked up. The end of the world.

“Nonsense, Meg. Friends among family is not a conflict of interest.”

One of the twins ran out and went straight for Hazel.

“Grandma!” he squealed and clutched her leg.

Jay barged out of the kitchen after the little guy. “That’s not Grandma,” he said as he removed his little brother from Hazel’s leg. “Sorry.”

Hazel’s whole demeanor melted with the small child’s attention. As far as I knew, she had no grandchildren—or children, for that matter. That was Hazel for you. I decided to cut her some slack.

“Well, you might as well stay, I guess. Dinner’s on its way, and we’ll have plenty.”

“Thank you, Meg.” Hazel seemed grateful, but then she turned back to Dad and slipped her arm around his waist.

Give Hazel an inch, she tries to do my father.

I waited for him to wiggle away, but he draped his arm casually across her shoulders. I wanted to throw up. I went back to hanging out with Jason’s kids. His children were a part of my daughter’s family. They carried secrets that my baby wouldn’t reveal until birth.

After pizza, I found Steve alone in the kitchen. He stood peering out the window over the kitchen sink, drinking a beer. “What’s up?” he asked, not looking at me.

“Did you really tell Nina she could help out with the Brooke and Bella event?” Watching Dad and Hazel get cozy was making my head spin. After the awkward bonding time Nina and I had shared, I didn’t want to give Dad a chance to rub it in her face that he was moving on. Hazel had some kind of cougar spell over him.

Steve shrugged. “Sure. Nina’s got connections, and the reality stars have sent us a list of what they expect to have available to them. Her offer to help couldn’t have come at a better time. Have you reviewed the Brooke and Bella itinerary?”

Steve turned to face me and scowled at the blank look on my face.

“I hope you’re keeping up with your end of things.” He downed the rest of his beer and tossed it in the trash. “And here you are questioning whether we should accept help.”

“Give me a freaking break! Can you not give me an ounce of compassion? I’m pregnant, and I’m tired, and I’m doing the best I can!”

He followed me as I stormed down the hall. Dad stood up, leaving Hazel still sitting on the sofa. “No, Dad, that’s okay. You sit with Hazel. But could you please just call
your wife
back? She loves you, and quite frankly, you owe her a phone call.”

I grabbed my purse and stumbled toward the door. “Wait, you know what?” I turned and faced Steve, Dad, Hazel, Chelsea, and Jason, giving them each a pointed look. “You are my people.” My voice trembled. “I need your support right now. I need calm in my life. Can you guys respect what I’m going through without always passing judgment on me? Please?” I waddled out into the night.

“Wait!” Jason came after me. “Don’t blame yourself, kid,” he said, using his old nickname for me. “We’ll get through this together.” He placed a hand on my belly.

I pulled back. “Go home, and make things right with
your
wife.”

He stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his well-worn jeans. “She won’t forgive me. She’s jealous of you.”

“Me? But you left
me
for
her
. You chose her.”

“Meg, I saw you both for a while. You didn’t know, but she did.” Finally, he told the truth. “I didn’t break up with you until she told me she was pregnant. She’s bitter I didn’t end it sooner.”

“Can you blame her?” I was so irritated with him. “Jason, she has to wonder who you’d be with if she hadn’t gotten pregnant.”

He sighed. “I still wonder the same thing.”

“Oh God! You
are
stupid! Don’t ever say that again. Call her, and tell her you’ll do whatever she wants. Tell her she’s always been your true love. Make her believe, if you want her to take you back. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home, making some chamomile tea, and putting up my swollen feet.”

I got in the car and slammed the door. Jason stood there, looking confused and dejected. If I’d asked him to come home with me, I bet he would have. I guessed that, for some people, the hardest part of making a choice was sticking with it. Then I thought of Theo. He didn’t have any trouble sticking to his choices.

I headed for my home, and for once, I was glad it would be empty.

Chapter Twenty-four

T
he day of the baby shower rose hot and clear.

I followed Nina’s instructions and showed up two hours early. She had a team of people decorating the house in pink and blue and yellow. When I walked into Ellie’s bedroom, Ellie was mid-haircut and getting her toes painted at the same time.

Nina walked in, carrying two garment bags. “Wait till you see the dresses I picked for you girls.”

The baby shower signaled the end of pregnancy, and my life was more unsettled than ever. I had yet to venture into the baby’s room. I couldn’t go in there. Once the baby came, I would have to look, but until then I had no reason to enter.

I took two steps back and ran my hands down the perfectly nice, black empire-waist dress I wore. Nina picked up on my reluctance to see the dress she’d brought me.

“I did everything I could to make this a big day for you,” Nina whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “I have a surprise for you, but first you should put this on.” Nina unzipped the garment bag and pulled out a flowing, hot-pink dress. “Oh, try it on,” she cooed. “If you don’t want to wear it, I won’t be mad.” I took in her eager expression and confident smile.

“Thank you.” I grabbed the dress and headed for the bathroom. Hot pink was not my usual color, but when I put it on, I felt joy instantly. Yes, it screamed party dress, but it also hugged me in a way that said, “I love my body.” And with the dress on, I did love my body. To Nina’s credit, she had also picked out a delicate pair of flip-flops.

“Oh, wow!” Ellie gushed when I came out.

“What do you think?” Nina asked.

“You have an eye for clothes. It’s perfect.” I embraced Nina, and although she was angular and stiff, she made some odd movement that led me to believe she was hugging me back.

“Don’t look so nervous, Meg,” Ellie said. “I finally get to do something today, and we’ll have fun.” Ellie had permission to dress up and spend the day on the sofa, but at any sign of contraction, she had to return to bed. Doctor’s orders. I sent everyone out of the room and helped Ellie put on the deep-violet dress Nina had chosen for her.

“I can’t wait to get out there.” Ellie raised her hand, and I gave her a high five followed by a fist bump.

“Let’s do this,” I said.

We traipsed down the hall from her bedroom, swinging our joined hands. Jake met us and took Ellie’s other hand.

“Ladies, you look amazing.” He kissed his wife’s cheek and looked at her as though he wanted to take her back to the bedroom. Ellie ignored him, ready to see friends and family. She’d been cooped up too long.

A hush fell as we walked in. The room was packed, but everyone cleared the way for Ellie to make her way to the sofa. Very few people had seen Ellie since she had gone on bed rest. Now nearly everyone from Café Stay and The Book Stack was in her living room, plus Ellie’s numerous friends, who’d missed her over the last few months. They all gathered around her, commenting on how wonderful she looked.

“Make way for my wife,” Jake ordered as he led her through the room.

I fell back from the crowd. Hazel came out of nowhere and groped the pleated fabric of my dress. “I’m sorry about the other night.”

I nodded absentmindedly, watching Ellie hug a man, her head resting on his shoulder.

Hazel talked in my ear, but I wasn’t listening. Ellie stepped out of the hug and scanned the room. She found me at the same time the man did.

Theo.

He approached without crutches, steps not quite smooth,
but he was standing on his own.

Nina sidled up to me. “Surprise! I found him.” She rubbed my back. “For you.”

“Uh-oh,” Hazel said, and for once, she darted off in the other direction.

“You can thank me later,” Nina whispered. She wandered away, and I was left in a room full of my closest friends, while the man I’d been missing for weeks
walked
unaided
across the floor to me.

“Hello,” Theo said.

I stood, immobilized. I couldn’t breathe. I took a step back, trying to fill my lungs. I glanced around the room, measuring the distance to various escape routes. Focusing back on Theo, my whole body felt heavy with defeat. He wore a look of hope, but that look cut right through me, into the core of my loneliness.

“This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come,” he said.

“No, you shouldn’t have walked out on me.” I glared at him. “But right now is a bad time to have this conversation. Everyone who has been by my side is in this room. I can’t focus on you.” I whirled around and walked off, keeping my eyes fixed forward.

I hunted down Nina to chew her out and found her huddled in the corner, talking with Dad. She sat at ease, beaming. I couldn’t be mad at her.

My father had his arm draped around her, and he waved at me. “I’m sorry about the other night,” he said.

I waved back, but didn’t want to interrupt his moment with Nina.

Hazel appeared out of nowhere and put her hands on my belly. “You’re so big, that baby will be here any day now.”

I flinched, repulsed by her touch. “Not yet. I still have six weeks to go.”

“Are they sure there’s only one in there?” She cackled. “You poor thing, you’re a house.” She wandered off and made a beeline for my Dad. As she got close, he stood up, leaving Nina alone. Dad put his arm around Hazel and led her away. The smile he gave her made me sick. Nina didn’t look too happy, herself. I went to her.

“I could fire Hazel,” I suggested.

“That woman your father has befriended?”

“Yes, she’s a real pain in the ass.”

Nina frowned. “They are close. Did you see the way his face lit up? No, don’t fire her. That will make her needier and probably more attractive to your father. I’m done.” Nina didn’t wear defeat well. “Tonight is about you. Let’s go inside and enjoy the party.”

“Everyone, can I have your attention?” Jake called out. “First, I want to thank you all for joining us today to celebrate Ellie and Meg becoming mothers. The baby games are about to begin, so any man that would like to bow out, join me out at the grill.” Steve separated from Chelsea and joined the men outside.

Theo stayed. I wished he hadn’t come to my party. I had finally gotten him out of my head. I had finally moved forward just enough to get through the day and sleep at night without torturing myself with questions of what I had done wrong. But he came back. He showed up at my baby shower, looking strong and sure, and I still didn’t know what he wanted.

I took a seat next to Ellie.

“Are you okay?” She asked in a whisper.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s good he came. We’ve all missed him.”

“Did you know he was coming?” I asked.

“Nina checked with Jake first before she contacted Theo. Can you believe she found him?” Ellie smoothed her hands over her belly. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to get your hopes up in case he didn’t show. Don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not.” I took a shaky breath. “He looks good. I’m glad he’s getting better. I wish he didn’t have to leave me to do it. Is he leaving after today?”

“I don’t know. You need to talk to him.”

As the party went on, Nina slowly deflated. Once Ellie and I opened our gifts, Nina was itching to leave. “Don’t pick up anything. The staff will take care of it all. Walk me to my car, Meg. I have one last thing for you.” Her ominous tone gave me goose bumps. At her car, she told me to get in. I sat in the passenger seat, and she reached across me and popped open the glove box. She pulled out a large stack of envelopes wrapped with a heavy-duty rubber band.

Something about the way she held the bound paper gave warning that something big was about to happen.

“Your father doesn’t know I have these,” she began, and my desire to know what she held grew. “He’ll be mad at me for giving them to you. It’s not my place to do this, but you have a right to know. Your father avoids confrontation to the point of leaving everyone in the dark.”

As she handed the stack to me, I could see my father’s script on the top envelope, addressed to my mother. So he had known where she lived all along. I sorted through the envelopes, reading the postmarked stamps. At first, he sent letters almost monthly. Then it went to one letter a year until Steve and I graduated from high school. I read and reread her name to myself: Candace Adams. The few times Dad had spoken of her, he had referred to her as Candace.

“Now I know why I never found anything searching for Candace Michaels,” I said.

“I didn’t know you looked,” Nina said. “But anyway, they never married.” She turned in her seat to face me. “I checked it out for you. She’s still living at that address.”

“What are you suggesting?” Could Nina know I’d entertained this idea for years? “She doesn’t want to see me.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Return to sender,” I read the words lettered in loopy scrawl. “She didn’t even want to read what he had to say.”

“You’ll only know if you go. This is a chance for a relationship with your mother. Maybe she’s waiting for you to take the first step.” Nina’s voice rose with excitement. “If nothing else, at least you’ll get some answers. Who knows?”