When You Make It Home (3 page)

In the middle of everyone sat Theo.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Neither could the tall, lithe brunette chatting with him. Her electric-blue top left three inches of perfectly taut, tanned stomach exposed, and her ample breasts fought against the shimmery fabric. Theo appeared completely enamored of her; his gaze trained on her boobs as if he’d never seen anything more tempting. And who could blame him? She radiated youth.

I never worried much about my age, but something about being twenty-four, sitting in a bar, single and pregnant, watching a chick who was rocking the barely legal look flirt with the man who’d been haunting my thoughts… well, that left me feeling past my prime. Done with people-watching for one night, I switched to the other side of the booth for a view with 100% less cleavage. I zoned out, staring at my bookstore, and I thought about work, my favorite distraction.

By the time Karen delivered my order, I was ravenous. I sucked down my lemonade and plucked the fried chicken strips out of my salad, dipping the chicken into creamy ranch dressing, moaning as I savored it all. After finding food repulsive for so long, I was suddenly infatuated with eating. The flavors and texture of most anything I put in my mouth tasted richer and more delicious than ever. So, there I sat, almost making out with my fried chicken strips, about to dive into the potato skins, when Theo fell into the seat across from me.

“Slow down, blondie. No one’s going to steal your chicken.”

“Don’t start with me.” I scooped up a potato skin covered in—yes—bacon from my plate.

He also helped himself to a potato, not bothering with a plate or fork. Or my permission.

“Why don’t you dig right in?”

He nodded at my belly. “That thing is growing well on all this fried food.”

I nodded right back to the cigarette tucked behind his ear. “Yeah, and you’re the poster boy for good health and wellness.” I pushed my plate away and folded the napkin in my lap.

“No.” He leaned in closer and spoke in a firm almost-whisper. “I’m not well,
and
I’m not all that good either.”

I tensed. Maybe I’d pushed too hard. Ready to apologize, I met his stare, but his lips stretched wide in a grin.

“Don’t stop pounding food on my account.” He winked and scooted the plate back in front of me. “You’re pretty hot when you stuff your face.”

A rare feeling bubbled up inside of me, and I laughed—something I hadn’t done in far too long.

His attention lingered on my open mouth; a flicker of mischief flared in his eyes.

“Look at that, Grumpy Girl knows how to smile.” Theo appeared pleased with himself. “So you’re still hiding your condition?” He gestured at my long, elaborately tied silk scarf.

I cleared my throat and reached for the lemonade. “Yes, and I plan to for as long as I can.”

“What’s the big deal? What do you care what anyone thinks?”

“Because assumptions are made when a girl ends up like this.” I resisted the urge to place my hand on my stomach. “You don’t understand.” I lowered my voice and glanced over my shoulder. “The timing is awful. Everyone’s going to think my ex is the father.” I fished a twenty and a ten from my wallet and tossed them in the center of the table. “And then what?” My volume pitched higher. “Do I give details of my sex-life mishaps? I own a bookstore… I’m the go-to girl for information. Can’t you hear the jokes?
Doesn’t she know how babies are made?
Trust me, it’s bad all around.”

“So let them assume. You shouldn’t have to answer to anyone.”

“Easy for you to say.” I sat back and let out a long sigh, but I appreciated his concern.

Theo raked his fingers through his hair. “What’s your ex think?”

“Bradley doesn’t know.” I hated how the truth sounded like a confession. My pregnancy didn’t involve Bradley, but if he knew, he’d treat it like a problem he could solve. “He’s been out of town for several months. He got a promotion, proposed to me, and then we bought a house. Right after we moved in, his new boss assigned him to a quality-control plant in China. It was his dream territory, and he said at the time he’d only be on site for two weeks every quarter.”

“He was out of the country when you dumped him? That’s brutal. I’ve seen what that does to a man.”

“Hey, look how fast you’ve switched to assumptions.” My voice was louder than I’d intended. “It’s hard getting left behind.” I twisted the napkin in my lap, shredding the edges.

“That’s not a good enough reason to call it quits.”

“Sometimes at night, I’d call his room, and a woman would be there. He swore nothing was going on, but why was she always there? Worry consumed me, and I couldn’t let it go.”

“So, was he guilty?”

“I don’t know, but I was in the middle of planning our wedding, and he was preoccupied whenever we talked. I couldn’t take the uncertainty anymore. I called off the wedding, took my condo off the market, and moved home.”

“He didn’t come back for you?”

“No.” I swallowed against my dry throat. Bradley was not the first one to forget about me.

“He sounds like an idiot.” Theo’s words pleased me. “So just like that, no more house, no more wedding?”

I nodded slowly, and I could almost hear the next thought click into place.

“Where’d the little one come from?” he asked.

“Nice try, buddy. I’ve given you enough dirt for one day. Your turn.”

He lined up the salt and pepper shakers to the side of the napkin dispenser and straightened the menu behind it. “My turn?”

“You got me to unload intimate details of my life. Now talk.” I leaned forward. “What’s your story?”

Theo studied the room around us, and when his eyes snapped back to mine, they cut into me, exposed and restless.

I knew that a roadside bomb had ripped him away from the life he wanted and pushed him back into a world that was no longer his, and I marveled how he could handle it all. Or maybe he couldn’t. I clutched the edge of my seat. My breath was trapped in my lungs, as if exhaling might blow away any chance to connect with him.

The moment passed, and Theo returned to his guarded self. “No secrets here.” His voice betrayed none of the rawness his eyes had held seconds earlier. He held his palms open, his face lifted in a blinding, openmouthed grin. “What you see is what you get. End of story.”

I smacked the table. “Yeah, right,” I said, and he chuckled. I glanced out the window to the bookstore and inventoried the things I had to do. “This has been delightful, but if that’s all you have to offer, I must get back to work.” I slid to the edge of the booth.

“Okay, I’ll come with you.”

“That wasn’t an invitation.”

He shrugged, a gleam in his eyes. “I need a book.”

I glimpsed his comrades lining up at the bar. The brunette moved to the seat Theo had previously occupied and busied herself flirting with another guy.

“What about your friends?”

“Nah, we don’t have to invite them.” He positioned his crutches then heaved himself out of the booth. “Let me say my goodbyes.”

At the entrance, I turned back in time to see the brunette help Theo put his backpack on. The gesture appeared oddly maternal, but then she slipped a folded napkin into his pocket, ruining the illusion. Theo laughed at something she said, and he turned to his friends, who got up to give him back-clapping hugs.

Then he lurched toward me, and as I held the door, he thumped by. Theo stopped on the sidewalk in front of The Tavern. A neon Guinness sign buzzed in the window, casting a green glow across his profile. Theo pulled the cigarette from behind his ear, lighting up. I went to the crosswalk and pressed the button. He wobbled over as he puffed on the cigarette clenched between his lips.

“What’s with the face?” he asked, speaking from the corner of his mouth.

“That’s nasty.”

He took a deep drag and removed the cigarette from his lips. Squinting at me, he exhaled; a bluish-white plume of smoke billowed into the night. He shook his head, smiling.

“Um… what’s so funny?”

He smirked. “It
is
nasty.” He dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it with what appeared to be a brand-new Nike shoe. I pictured the mate alone in a box somewhere. Theo reached in his pocket, removed an almost-full pack of cigarettes, and tossed it in the trashcan by the light pole. “You happy now?”

“You’re quitting? Just like that?”

“Just like that,” he said with confidence. His hands opened and closed, clenching the grips on his crutches. “Just something I picked up in the sandbox, anyway.”

The light changed, and I turned to walk across the street, trying to go slowly enough for him to keep up.

He trailed behind me and let out a low whistle, the kind that captures the attention of anyone in earshot. “Girl, you are working it in those heels with that short skirt.” His voice sailed to me. “I never knew pregnancy could look so
hot
.” The words sent a heat wave up my legs, not unlike a caress.

I
knew
he could move faster.

“Hush,” I hissed, stopping under the storefront awning to The Book Stack. “If you want to come inside, you have to take an oath to honor my secret. This is my place of business. My brother doesn’t know about any of this, so lay off the jokes.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He held up three fingers on his right hand, his good hand. “Scout’s honor—your secret is safe with me.”

I marched over to him—right into his personal space—and mustered the meanest look I could offer. “If you betray me, I will make you pay.” The last thing I needed was my cover blown.

“Hey now, everything’s okay.” His pupils dilated, ringed by browns and mossy green flecked with pale gold. “Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.” Kindness entered his voice, and he shifted his eyes toward the door of the bookstore. “Trust me.”

I went to the door and opened it wide. “Come on in.” When he hesitated, I sighed. “Are you going to make me beg now?”

Finally, he moved his crutches forward, taking a step. “I won’t make you beg.” He stood at the threshold, filling the doorway, surveying the surroundings. Once he finally moved past me, I followed, and the door slammed shut behind us. He was in my territory.

The Book Stack had been my grandfather’s business, a gift Steve and I inherited after college graduation. Anyone could be envious of our hand-me-down career, but running an independent bookstore in the midst of Amazon’s world domination required more cunning than luck.

Steve charged around the information desk, hand outstretched. Theo shook his hand.

“Hey man, that was some gathering the other night. I’d meant to thank you for your service, but you were so popular, I didn’t want to monopolize your time. It’s good to see you again.”

Theo nodded. “Thank you.” Theo looked past Steve at the towering rows of books. “This place is great.”

I tried to see it through his eyes: an eclectic collection of furniture filling a large main floor, crammed with books. Of course there were bookshelves too, but my grandfather had supplemented them with any solid-wood furnishings he could acquire. He’d transformed every piece of furniture into a bookshelf or display. There were armoires with the doors wide open, revealing rows of colored spines. We had a scarred cupboard, an antique rolltop desk, large oak cabinets, even an old kitchen table with mismatched chairs—for the person who had to stop, drop, and read. Every surface fostered volumes. My grandfather envisioned himself a gatekeeper into the endless journeys one could find inside a story. He believed the bookstore was a sacred honor and a responsibility.

And he passed that duty on to Steve and me.

“Do you mind if I browse?” Theo asked.

“Have at it. I have to finish up my files for the night,” I said. “Make yourself at home.”

“Hold on.” Steve’s hand hovered above Theo’s shoulder but didn’t actually make contact. “I’ll help you get settled in the coffee shop, and I’ll bring you whatever you want. We have magazines, too.” Steve waved toward a china cabinet full of magazines, and if I could’ve reached out and snatched a copy of Vogue, I would’ve rolled it up and knocked him right on the head.

My chest got all tight, and for a second, I regretted bringing Theo over.

“No thanks, I prefer to roam.” Theo readjusted the straps of his backpack and headed down the center aisle of the store.

“Don’t be an ass,” I mumbled to Steve.

“Hey!” He threw his arms in the air. “What’d I do?”

I caught up with Theo at the intersection of the two main paths of the first floor. “If you get bored, you can find my office in the back.”

“Sure thing.” He scanned the gothic-lettered signs that hung on wires from the ceiling, and he headed toward Nonfiction.

The second I got to the back of the store, I rushed through my office and into the bathroom to freshen up. My reflection caught me by surprise. I looked flushed and full of expectations. “Stop,” I said to my face in the mirror. “Don’t pretend. Life is going in a different direction now. There’s no future with this guy.” I knew that was true, but it didn’t matter; I wanted him to like me. I shook out my hair, pinched my cheeks to bring some color to them, and applied a fresh swipe of soft-pink lipstick. Satisfied, I returned to my desk.

My eyes fixed on the computer screen, but my mind fixed on Theo. I switched the security camera views to find his location in the store. He wasn’t in the magazine aisle or the coffee shop. I finally spotted him in the travel section. Was he ready to leave again? Sure, I was sneaky to spy on him as he moved about in my turf, but even with that guilt thrumming through my veins, I zoomed in closer.

The phone rang, and I jumped. “Hello.”

“Hey, you sound funny.” Ellie cleared her throat. “Is everything okay?”

“Theo’s here,” I answered, as if that explained everything. “What’s his deal?”

“What do you mean?” The sound of a baseball game filtered through the phone, along with Jake’s voice shouting for his team.

“He doesn’t say anything about himself. He’s living this great big tragedy, and back in a town where he’s hardly spent any time in the last three years.” Theo had left Travel. I flipped from camera view to camera view, until I found the one that captured him. He moved unsteadily on his crutches to the register, a book tucked under his chin.

“Well, that’s all I know, too. Jake and their mom are adjusting to having him around. He’s barely been home since he finished basic training four years ago. Jake says Theo’s different now. His whole world has been turned upside down overnight. Any woman who gets involved with him is going to have a lot of drama on her hands.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ellie dropped any pretense that she wasn’t referring to me. “Don’t take on his problems.”

“Okay, point taken.” Theo headed in my direction, and I switched off the security camera monitor. “I better go. Call you later?”

“Wait! Don’t forget we have our ob-gyn appointments tomorrow morning.” Ellie’s words carried a warning tone, probably because I’d skipped out on our last appointment.