Where Did It All Go Right? (32 page)
Read Where Did It All Go Right? Online
Authors: Andrew Collins
Wednesday, 29 April
Ace. Jackie and I went round to Joanne Flanders’ new house which they haven’t moved into yet. And we ate our packed lunches there. It rained. Walked home with Jackie. Tonight Dad and Mum took me to Whitehills squash club and I watched them play. Had quiteabita homework. Well …
DISASTERS 0
TRIUMPHS 3
And a fantastic win for the Triumphs in their first match.
9
Monday, 8 May
Simon’s being a right bummer, lolling about all over my bed like a demented dead armadillo. Doing well wiv Jackie
10
(so wot else is new?). Went to a parents/children meeting about the trip to France we’re going on. Great doss.
TRIUMPHS 2
DISASTERS 0
Tuesday, 23 May
What a fantastic day. Triumph 1 – made a lovely
jalousie
(fruit
pie
) in cookery 10/10. Triumph 2 – tonight I went out wiv Jackie to see
Star Whores
. Ace. It was absolutely brilliant. We had a great time. AT LAST I HAVE BEEN OUT WITH A GIRL. Jackie is wonderful.
Wednesday, 24 May
After school Angus came down. We had grate fun. No homework. By the way, I am now Han Solo. Great, kid, don’t get cocky. Don’t worry, she’ll hold together. Hold together, baby.
TRIUMPHS 2
DISASTERS 0
Thursday, 25 May
Doesn’t it smell? Yes. I don’t think Jackie wants to go out wiv me any more. Huh. Snot fair is it? No it isn’t. But I’m gonna keep working on her.
TRIUMPHS 0
DISASTERS 5,822
Wot a bum day.
Tuesday, 6 June
A grate day. Made chocolate cake in cookery 10/10. After school Paul came round. (By the way Jackie is ill and woz away from school.) So Paul, me and Anita walked round the lake, across a field, cross the motorway, up Thorburn Road, down Church Way and down Bridgewater Drive. Put my arm round Anita. And we held hands.
11
DISASTERS 1
TRIUMPHS 4
Friday, 9 June
Grate stuff. I had thoroughly gived up with Jackie and I asked
Tina
, Lindsey
12
and Hayley
13
out at school. Three refusals. BUT Hayley rang me up after I’d had my hair cut and said she WOULD go out wiv me, and so it was all arranged. So me, Hayley, her brother Vaughan and Liz Carr went round the field, up the pub and round Liz’s house in her bed(room). Ho ho. Hayley is grate. AC4HM
DISASTERS 0
TRIUMPHS 4
Saturday, 10 June
Wot a grate day. First of all I was going out with Hayley to see
Crimebusters
at the ABC but … she couldn’t go, so we went down the field. (By the way Margaret, Mel, Martin and Sarah came to sleep so Mum and Dad had a party with all the street.) I was just getting involved in this wild party when, after two sherries, Hayley’s brother rang up and said that their Mum and Dad had gone out. So I went up Hayley’s until 10.30. When I came home, had a few more sherries and I am stoned. It is now 11.30 and this sherry’s gone to my head. Really.
14
TRIUMPHS 6
DISASTERS 0
Tuesday, 13 June
SCHOOL TRIP TO FRANCE
Got up at 4.30 in de morning to go to France. The channel crossing was good. Got to the
colonie
at 9.30. Had a bowl of tea and went to beddy-byes in the dormitories. Our coach driver is Derek. Our ferry was called
The Dragon
. French people are greasy.
15
Ah please!
16
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 0
Wednesday, 14 June
Had a coupla boring lectures from Mr Yates who runs the
colonie
. Went down the village. I bought two postcards and a French Cornetto. Went to a Benedictine Monastery. It was a dead bore. Lovely meals at this
colonie
. Had an ace disco till 9.30.
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 1
Thursday, 15 June
Went to Dieppe. We visited a French school. Had gob for school dinners there. Made friends with and talked in greasy French to Sophie, Natalie, Bob, Geres, Phillipe and Anne. Went to Mammouth Supermarche (greasy version of Tesco’s). Lovely evening meal. Had ’nother chronic disco. Didn’t go. Played table tennis.
TRIUMPHS 4
DISASTERS 1
Saturday, 17 June
It rained again. Went to Dieppe to the market. I bought a French loaf, some liqueurs and a pen set. Then it poured so we came back to the
colonie
. Sang French sweaty songs. Had anuvva lecture and had snails for evening meal. They were vomit. Left for home at five to eight. Slept on the ferry. Crossing very rough.
TRIUMPHS 1
DISASTERS 3
Friday, 14 July
Paul came to my house after school and we went to Nina’s disco
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at 8.00. Loads of kids went including Anita, Keith, Angus, Colin, Liz, Sally, Tracey, Neil etc. I had a grate time drinking whole bottles of Coke and tipping orange over Jackie.
Came
home at 10.30. On the way I ripped my pinstripes as I fell over. I also had a nose bleed. Paul slept at my house tonight.
TRIUMPHS 4
DISASTERS 1
Friday, 21 July
Sniff! It was the last day at Abington Vale Middle School for me … EVER! Sob sob. All the girls were crying. I won the Carol Barratt Art Cup. I gotten a certificate. I’ll also get a cup presented. Anita was crying all the way home. Isn’t it very sad? Went to bed early as we are going to Wales to Llithfaen tomorrow.
TRIUMPHS 2
DISASTERS 2
Thursday, 26 July
WALES
We went on a lovely brisk walk to the Deserted Village but … for one thing the walk itself is really really long and it is all uphill on the way back, and it bloody poured wiv rain and even hailed and it wuz absolutely a hurricane. So wot. We enjoyed it just de same. Sent all my postcards. Played in the hay barn again. Come on, weather, you’d better buck your ideas up a bit.
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 2
Saturday, 12 August
Went to town in the morning and I bought some straight-leg cords and a pair of ace Levi’s boots. Tonight saw the film
Them
on TV. It wuz grate.
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 0
Wednesday, 30 August
Went to Nan Collins’ for dindins and tea. Dad got me a
Film Review 1975-76
from the jolly old library. Reading
Dr Who and the Auton Invasion
. Grate. Saw
Z Cars
, wiv a stripper. Woohoo. Nipples.
Tuesday, 5 September
BACK TO SCHOOL
To my new school, Weston Favell Upper. Well we (the new third years) didn’t have to go to school till 1.15. Here is de details: Mr (Billy) Bowden is head of our year. I am in form 3CN (room M2). Our form teacher is nice Miss Chapman. We had a history lesson with Mrs Hadkins (who is also nice). Mr Bowden is fat. Wot a bum. But certainly today wasn’t as bad as I imagined. (Saw
Goodies
.)
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 1
Wednesday, 6 September
Today had some good aspects and some bad aspects. Good: I am in top set for maths with Duncan and Stuart Skelton. Most of our teachers are nice. School dinners are lovely. Bad: there is no-one in my class I know … or want to know. I hate my class. Also … PE is absolutely nasty, like the teacher Mr Jenkinson. Oh dear.
TRIUMPHS 2
DISASTERS 2
Friday, 22 September
Grate day. For a start we didn’t have any really bad homework. Dad bought the
Grease
album. I received my ELO Fan Club membership. Dad took me to Lings cinema to see
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
. It was the best film I’ve seen. It wuz really dead magic.
TRIUMPHS 5
DISASTERS 0
Wednesday, 4 October
Got a letter from Anita. There wuz a whole bunch of Smurf stickers in
Look-In
. Went wiv Dad to the Old Wellingburians Squash Racquets Club. He won 5–1 against a bloke called Whitcombe.
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 0
Monday, 9 October
Had a boring Monday at school. Usual stinkin’ lessons. Paul
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and I are probly joining the bird watchers club which will be a larf. Mucked about round at Hirsty’s
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place tonight listening to his magic 10CC single ‘Dreadlock Holiday’ etc. Saw
Till Death Us Do Part
film on TV.
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 0
Tuesday, 24 October
Went on a grate bird watching field trip organised by Mr Bowden and Mr Gilbert. About twelve went. We went in the school minibus to the Ecton Brook sewage farm. I spotted a heron and a kestrel and 25 other species. Just saw de final episode ob
Roots
. It wuz de greatest programme of all time.
20
TRYUMPFS 3
DIZARSTARS 0
Wednesday, 1 November
Yesterday Mum got me a grate
Confessions From the Pop Scene
from her ‘Wives’ bazaar. I would’ve told you yesterday only Mum came back at 11.00 and I only got the book this morning etc. Clear! Good. Had a new telly. Boring day at school. Had gym. Hirsty came round tonight. Dad got me a (37p) black Pentel.
This
is it. Didn’t see
Monty Python
tonight. Probly because it’s on Mondays.
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 0
Thursday, 23 November
Hallo, lads. I’m going to write my diary normally today. Sorry about that. Oops … today we studied agriculture in India in geography. Also permanent chemical changes in chemistry. We were taught how to pass the ball in rugby and we looked over some revision in German. I had beefburgers for tea and after completing my chemistry homework at 6.52 … oh crumbs. Now you can see why I write my diary silly. That is boring.
TRIUMPHS 0
DISASTERS 0
Sunday, 26 November
After dinner, Mum, Dad, Si, me and Melissa went to Overstone squash club. And after a load of absolute skill games ob squash Dad got me an early Christmas pressy: a grate, magic, good new Ascot 2070 squash racquet.
21
Tuesday, 12 December
It’s the exams tomorrow. Normal lessons. (Hey! Exams tomorrow.) Did a lot of revision in lessons (it’s exams by the way). Hirsty came round tonight. (It’s the exams tomorrow.) He gave me a card (exams don’t forget). So did Liz and Jackie (exams you know). Saw
Man Alive
about fears (like the exams).
T – 0
D – 1
Exams, look …
Friday, 15 December
Exams end. Phew. Flippin’ what an ace day. Exams:
Biology: okay
History: okay
Maths: not bad
Also had a cross-country (inter-form). I came 135th out of 300. Not bad. But (here’s the good bit) there was a third year Xmas disco at skool (7.30–10.00). It was reel cool. Everyone freaked out. I did the twist with George, pogo with John Lewis, a real good footsie with John, Bill, Lee, Si and George,
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and an ace smooch with Liz.
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Grate.
T – 5
D – 0
Tuesday, 19 December
Exam marks I got today:
Geography: 72% (2nd)
Biology: 84% (1st)
History: 78% (4th)
Hirsty gave me my Xmas pressie (
The Sentinel
paperback, about the Devil, evil etc.). Got the Christmas
Look-In
. Fairly good day at school. Saw
Carry On Matron
, an ace film about maternity wards. Also Dean came.
TRIUMPHS 4
DISASTERS 0
Thursday, 21 December
Dean came today. It snowed again but went all slushy. Tonight … Dad and Mum took Si, Melissa and me to the New Theatre in Oxford to see
Aladdin
, starring Little & Large, Norman Collier, Charlie Caroli etc. It was ace. Charlie Caroli did a real larf slapstick bit and Little & Large did the usual. A brill panto. We came back at 12.00.
TRIUMPHS 3
DISASTERS 0
Sunday, 24 December
Christmas Eve. Just thought I’d mention it, y’know. Absolutely brill. Flippin’ it’s Christmas tomorrow. Brill. I helped Mum and Dad make the fresh fruit salad: apples, pears, nanas, melon, pineapple, grapefruit, grapes, oranges etc. Luvly, gorgeous, brill. Went to Auntie Margaret’s. Nan and Pap came tonight. So did Uncle Brian. Brill. Brill. Brill.
TRIUMPHS 4
ABSOLUTELY NO DISASTERS
Monday, 25 December
And the brill 1978 Christmas pressy rundown is as follows: £4.50 in vouchers, Lego technical set,
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magnetic chess, giant drawing pad, George & Mildred game, Game Of Dracula, horror movie book,
Birds of Britain
book,
Jet Journey
book,
Star Wars
annual,
Sci-Fi Now
book, stapler, Radio 1 diary,
Mad Look at Old Movies, Grease
paperback, Spike Milligan’s
Military Memoirs
, page-a-day diary, German dictionary,
Boy’s Handbook
, Quality Streets, Pisces pendant,
25
Britain stencil, sketch book, ten-colour biro, letter stencil, hankie, plus mini Shell Lego set, Leeds mug. It wuz the brillest Christmas ever.
T – 8
D – O
SUPERSCORE
2
. We get this phrase a lot in ’78. Don’t be fooled. It means ‘chatted to’.
3
. If I may say so, Tracey Allen was out of my league. I had not yet turned 13. She had, in a big way. She had a curly perm, breasts and one of those Afro combs, and she wore a skirt down to her ankles.
Way
out of my league.
4
. Mum’s bought a new cookery book! Basically mashed potatoes out of an icing bag, browned under the grill.