Where My Heart Breaks (17 page)

"I see a woman who deserves every happiness. I see a woman who is strong and confident and smart. That woman may have lost her way for a little while, but that doesn't mean that she's any less of the person that I think she has always been. It's just part of growing up."

His words were spoken so honestly and with such certainty that I found myself wanting to believe him. If he could see that, why couldn't I?
 

"How can you be so sure?"

Reed's palm swept across my cheek and came to rest on my chin. He grasped it as if he was afraid that I was going to look away. As painful as it was for me to consider that his words were not true, I couldn't tear my eyes away even if I tried. I felt as if I was on the verge of something crucially important. I didn't want to miss it.

"I know because it would take an extraordinary woman to convince me that I want something I haven’t wanted in a very long time. That's how I feel when I'm with you."

My mouth fell open. Never had I felt as close to a man as I felt to Reed. He was exposing those darker places of himself to me as well, and it was like by doing so, we were both being granted some kind of karmic redemption. When he tugged my hands to pull me into his arms, I went willingly. I wrapped my arms around his waist and felt him squeeze me tightly. Fiercely. I felt a sense of belonging that was strange and wonderful and right.

I felt the poke of his chin against the top of my head. "I'm fighting a losing battle, Kate. I’m waving the white flag of surrender. So that just leaves one question for me."

I looked up at him with a questioning glance. I thought I had been more than clear about what I wanted, but he still seemed to hesitate. "What?"

"I lied. I want to be more than friends. I want to kiss you and touch you while you moan and cry out my name. I want to be the man who brings you the most pleasure you've ever had in your life. I want to be the one you think about when you go to sleep at night. My question is, can you forgive me for being such an idiot for pushing you away?"

I thought my heart was going to burst. I stood on my tiptoes so that my lips were just millimeters away from his. His eyes blazed, and I heard his sharp inhale of breath as he waited for my answer.

"I think I can be convinced," I said with a small grin.

Reed's lips crushed mine, and I let the feelings we had both been keeping at bay carry me away.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

However I pictured it in my head, having Reed’s hands roaming my body was a million times better. The denim jacket slid off my shoulders with little protest, and I felt the heat of Reed’s body absorbed into my skin. The sun had nothing on him. I felt as if I lost all ability to breathe. I was drowning. Drowning in Reed’s kisses and the interplay of our tongues as we took turns learning the contours of each other’s lips.
 

When he pulled away, I sighed. I loved the feel of his body pressed against mine. His eyes twinkled, and I could see that he wanted me. My eyes followed his every move as he knelt down to pick up one of the blankets that I had dropped onto the ground. His gaze didn’t leave mine as he unfolded the blanket and then swept it up to pad a small area of grass.

Then he put his hands on my hips, his nose even with my navel. He kneaded the fabric of my dress, and there was a crazy part of me that wanted to rip the dress off, but Reed seemed intent on taking things slow. I had no doubt of what he was going to do now. There was no way you kiss somebody like that and then walk away.
 

Reed’s eyes broke away from mine as his hands skimmed their way down my hips to my bare legs all the way to my ankles. Then his fingertips swept back up to my knees and back down. “You have killer legs,” he said in a low voice that sounded as if it were tightly controlled. “When I passed you on the side of the road that day, that’s what I remember seeing first. Miles of legs in a pair of heels that made me want them wrapped around my waist. All I could think about was that if I didn’t stop to help you, some other creep would. That thought drove me crazy.”

I had no idea that Reed had the same kind of visceral, raw reaction to seeing me for the first time that I did the first time I saw him. “You could have at least stuck around long to ask my name,” I whispered.
 

I gasped as his hands slid beneath my skirt and between my thighs stopping just short of the place of my body that throbbed for him. He pushed my legs open further, allowing him better access. I couldn’t believe that this gorgeous man was on his knees at my feet, and if I were to guess the intention of where his fingers were going next, he was about to blow my mind. Every place he touched me burned, and my eyes closed as he reached around and grasped the bottom curve of my backside, pulling me closer to him.

He buried his nose in the fabric at my belly button and even through the cloth I could feel the pressure of his teeth as he nipped at that sensitive area. I wanted his mouth on my bare skin. I wanted his lips everywhere. I hoped he didn’t make me beg.

His heavy sigh caught my attention and even though his hands were still caressing my bottom, I looked down to find him looking up at me with an intense stare.

“You deserve somebody better than me. Anybody with a lick of common sense could see that. That’s why I didn’t ask your name.”

I didn’t understand why he couldn’t see in himself what I saw in him. The vision he painted of me with his words was so far from the truth, but I could tell that he believed them. Which made me wonder if maybe I should believe it too. I put my hand on the side of his face, and he turned his cheek into it. He was so hard and guarded, but when the walls came down, he was vulnerable. Just like me.

I fell to my knees and tried to tell him with my kisses and my lips how his words moved something deep inside of me. I was terrified, but I wanted to feel the way he made me feel forever. His arms crushed me against his chest as he answered me and then he pulled me down onto the blanket and rolled me onto my back. His fingertips stroked the skin of my cheek and danced across my collarbone. Then they found the stiffened pinpoints pressing through the fabric of my top, and I squirmed against him and sighed.
 

“I love how you react to my touch,” Reed growled against my ear. He pressed the length of his body against me, and I felt the hardness of his arousal. My mouth went dry. When his hand slipped inside my top to tease my hardened nipples, I felt as if my body was on fire. I was embarrassed by the whimper that escaped my lips then. I wanted him. No, I needed him.
 

Sensing that I was reaching the end of my tenuous hold on self-control, Reed pushed himself up on his elbow. His expression was serious. “Are you sure about this, Kate? There’s still time to stop.”

How could he even question it? A small spark of anger caused me to sit up and then I pushed his shoulders so that he rolled onto his back. I straddled him and made sure that as I settled against him, the only thing between us where his jeans and the wisp of fabric that some designer thought to call underwear. I saw his eyes widen when our bodies came into contact. Two could play at the teasing game, and I intended that, at the end, there would be no doubt in Reed’s mind what I wanted. He started to sit up, but I pushed his shoulders back down and shook my head.

“No way. I’m in control now,” I said.

“Oh really?” Reed cocked an eyebrow.

Instead of answering, I slowly circled my hips. I was rewarded by his low groan and a flush of desire and power coursed through me. I put the palms of my hands against his chest. I could feel his rapid heartbeat, and it gave me the encouragement I needed to continue. I moved my hips again, but this time a little bit harder and faster. Each swivel of my hips seemed to strip away another ounce of Reed’s self-control. His hands came up and grasped my hips, but I grabbed them and pushed them up over his head, bringing my mouth close to his. As I rocked against his hard length, I kissed him deeply. When he pushed his tongue back into my mouth, I didn’t resist. Then his head fell back, and his throaty chuckle floated in the air.

“I had no idea I was luring a wildcat into my bed.”

“Maybe that’s because I was the one luring you,” I whispered against his neck as I nibbled the sensitive area there.

Apparently that broke the last of Reed’s self-control because he overpowered me and sat up wrapping an arm around me. With his other hand, his fist yanked the front of my top down to my waist and then his hot mouth and searching tongue found my nipple. I forgot about being angry at his Neanderthal need to be in control. What he was doing felt too damn good.
 

“Take off your panties,” he growled.

I slid off him without protest and did what he asked. It didn’t escape my notice that they were soaked. Reed pushed up his hips and started to undo the front of his jeans. I couldn’t resist jumping in to help him as he kissed me again.

“I want to get you naked, but we can’t here. In case someone comes,” he said.

I understood. Being exposed, out in the open with the possibility of being caught, made the whole thing all the more exciting. I reached down and marveled at Reed’s hard, long length. I couldn’t wait to have him inside me. The urge to climb on top of him again was slowed only by his quick fingers putting on a condom that seemed to appear out of thin air.

Then I stood and stepped in front of him. His hands found my hips, and he guided me down and onto his shaft. I gasped at the sensation as I felt him fill me to the hilt. He didn’t move as our eyes locked.
 

“Christ, you are so wet,” Reed growled. Then his hips rocked, and as his thrusts began in urgency, I grabbed onto his shoulders and matched his rhythm. We stared into each other’s eyes as our hips pulsed against each other. It didn’t take long before I felt the tightness that had been building inside me ever since the first time Reed kissed me begin to unwind.

I closed my eyes.

“Keep your eyes open, gorgeous. I want to see everything you’re feeling,” Reed commanded.

There was something so vulnerable about that level of intimacy as if the fact that he filled me so completely wasn’t enough. I did as he asked and then one of his hands gripped a fistful of my hair keeping my head steady. I couldn’t escape him. I would never have been able to escape him, but I didn’t want to.

Those were the thoughts that skittered at the edge of my mind as I felt the waves of pleasure crash over me and then carry me away. I cried out as Reed stiffened and then with one final thrust he groaned as well. Then his mouth covered mine, possessive and insistent.
 

He wrapped his arms tightly around me and pulled me closer. I could see that he had felt something in that moment too. There was no going back to the friend zone for me. I ducked my head against his shoulder, afraid that he would see that truth in my eyes and that he wouldn’t be able to handle it. I had to keep my feelings for Reed to myself until I knew how he really felt about me.

His hand stroked my hair and trailed down the skin of my back. “Ready for another literary tutoring lesson now?”

I burst out laughing. “I was thinking we could add some alternate topics to the tutoring schedule.”

He gently lifted my hips so that I was able to maintain some semblance of grace as I slid off his lap and to the ground next to him. There was no denying we just had wild sex right on the path that led up to Grossler’s Point, but I tried to straighten myself up enough to look presentable while Reed did the same.

He had a mischievous grin on his face as he stood up and then put out his hand to help me to my feet. “These other topics you’d like to add. Do tell, Ms. Spivey. I am intrigued.”

“It requires quite a bit of mutual collaboration,” I said with the most serious expression I could muster considering my mind was in the gutter.

Reed picked up the picnic basket and tugged on my hand so that I fell into step beside him. He didn’t drop my hand, so we continued the short trek to Grossler’s Point holding hands. It was nice and normal and felt completely natural. I realized that was exactly how I felt every time I was with Reed.

“Well, if we are going to expand the scope of what we’re covering in the lesson plan, I think you are going to need to offer up something a bit more enticing than a cup of coffee,” Reed said, matching my serious tone.

I looked down and saw that the terrain of the path had turned into large flat stones. We were only about twenty feet off the water now. There was no sand on this rocky beach. I dropped Reed’s hand as I moved closer to the water’s edge. It was here that Jackson found Camilla standing with her back to him. It was her lovely silhouette that made him realize that he couldn’t live without her. He called out to her and then rushed toward her intending to ask her to marry him.

Camilla turned toward him with a radiant smile, but then she lost her footing on the slick moss that covered the rock’s surface. Jackson watched in horror as Camilla fell onto the rocks. Her head hit the jagged edge of one of them, cracking her skull. Just like that, Jackson’s whole world came crashing down, and he was left with only the broken shell of his love.

I looked over at Reed. I was terrified, but being with him made me feel like I was special and someone worth caring about. There might be a painful ending for us in my future, but for now, I was willing to risk it. Slowly I lowered the top of my dress to my waist, exposing my naked breasts to his hungry eyes.

“Is this what you had in mind, teacher?” I asked, my voice low and husky.

Reed slowly nodded as he stalked toward me. “I’m pretty sure I can work with that.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The moon was high in the twilight sky when Reed led me back to the Grossler’s Point parking lot. I wasn’t thinking anymore, just riding on a wave of pure bliss. I thought that Reed looked equally pleased which gave me a measure of relief. For all of my assertive talk, I didn’t have a ton of experience to draw from and Trevor had been the worst. I didn’t want to think about Trevor though, or his hurtful comments about my supposedly lackluster performance in the bedroom. I focused on the man beside me, and we settled into a comfortable silence as we approached the truck.