Where Silence Gathers (23 page)

“That's probably it,” I say to the roiling sky. “I'm sure he'll be home soon.” I don't tell her not to worry, though, because it would be like telling that sky to rain fire instead of water. Missy leaves a third voicemail for Saul and I don't move from the window. When Travis arrives with his note, I want to know. The gun, hidden in the waistband of my pants, is hot against my skin.

Suddenly there's a scratching at the door, loud and unmistakable. Missy pokes her head out of the kitchen. “Is that the dog?” she calls. A dark sense of foreboding stretches into every corner of me, as if the spider outside my window is weaving its webs from within. Damn it, damn it, damn it! Travis must have parked down the road and approached the building from the back, where I wouldn't spot him. Why didn't I think of that? Swearing, I hurry to open the door before Missy does. The hinges groan and the wind instantly swoops in, making my eyes water and my hair fly back … and there's no one outside.

But that doesn't mean he isn't here.

“Be right back!” I shout to Missy, blinking rapidly. “I need to check something!” Her response is drowned out by another zealous gust of wind. I slam the door behind me. Thunder rumbles as I rush down the stairs. Rain seeps through my shirt, small pinpricks of cold. There's something lying by the bottom step. I squint. Is that fur … ?

Then I get closer, and I see. “No!” someone screams. Me.
“
No!
”

It's Eggs.

He must have broken her neck—it's bent at a wrong angle. Her eyes, once so bright and cautious, are unblinking and dull. She did come back. And this was her reward for daring to trust me. Sorrow and Regret come to touch my shoulders, then Regret and I watch as the dark-haired Emotion kneels to close Eggs's eyes.

All my instincts go against looking at her, and I'm about to turn away when a flash of white catches my eye. There's a piece of paper sticking out of the dog's gaping mouth. With trembling fingers I pull it out. A string of slobber comes with it. Dimly I note that the handwriting matches the message he left under my pillow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
, it says.
I HAVE WHAT YOU WANT MOST. YOU HAVE WHAT I WANT MOST. MEET ME AT THE MINES.

What I want most? I almost vomit then and there, thinking he's taken Briana or Georgie. But then I think of the one person I haven't heard from today, the person who isn't answering his calls or coming home when he should.

Saul. He's taken Saul.

For a moment all I see is red. Hate and Anger run with me up the stairs and into the apartment. The entire way I mentally chant,
Revenge. Revenge. Revenge
. He must be too far away or too preoccupied to answer.
Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Forgiveness.
But I've pushed him away too hard. He doesn't hear, or he chooses not to answer. I go in and grab my keys off the counter. Panic swells in my throat and chest as I hurry to the door again.

“Alex, did I hear you shouting?” Missy asks. She's turned away from the window, her hands cupping her elbows.
Thankfully she can't see Eggs from her vantage point.
“Where are you going?”

The question stops me in my tracks. She won't believe I'm going to the lake on a night like this. I just saw Andrew this morning. Saul was getting us food and gas. She knows I'm distant from my friends …

“To the cemetery,” I say, swallowing. “I'm going to the cemetery.”

My aunt believes this. Sympathy and Sorrow surround her, looking like angels from the flashes of lightning behind them. She doesn't tell me it's not safe, or offer to accompany me. “Take an umbrella” is all she says.
I'm going to get him back
, I want to tell her. Instead, I leave her there, waiting for someone who can't come home. Eggs is still at the bottom of the stairs, and I force myself to drag her beneath them so Missy won't see. Afterwards, I brush my hands off on my shorts and leave her there. I feel my aunt's eyes follow me as I get into my car and speed off down the dusty road.

The drive to the mines has never felt so long. When I pass the fork that leads to the sheriff's station, to Frederick, I'm torn. Then I remember yet again what happened to Christine's family when she dared to defy Dr. Stern. So I keep going, and after hours and years the entrance looms up and swallows me whole. It's the first time I want to heed all the warning signs. The mines beckon, though. Saul needs me. There is nothing so terrible and wonderful as being needed.

Stopping where the chain dangles across the road, I kill the engine and swing up and out. I leave the door open so the slam doesn't alert them—pointless, since they probably already heard me coming from a mile away. It occurs to me that I should figure out how to handle this. The treetops rustle and quiver, making a sound like television static. I imagine they're speaking to me, trying to warn me away. But in this, there is no choice. “Will I survive?” I whisper to Courage, who laces his fingers through mine.

“
Do you want to?” he asks right back. The wind lifts the hair off his forehead. He doesn't look at me. I tear my attention away and follow his gaze to that black mouth. Terror is a strong, fruity taste in my mouth. I know better than to ask the Emotion if he can tell me what's waiting inside; interfering and all that. There's nothing left to do but face this. Face them.

It takes twenty-two steps. Each one is louder than the one before it. Courage doesn't come with me, and it's strange, actually wanting an Emotion to stay. He doesn't, though, and when I reach the entrance I don't let myself pause or hesitate. The storm illuminates the tunnel in erratic flashes.

My pulse skips a beat when I see Dr. Stern sitting near the elevator, watching my approach with a shrewdness he didn't possess before. They actually brought chairs in for this. Travis stands beside him, grinning. He looks exactly like his picture: mischievous and big-nosed and dirty.

“
Drop the gun, please,” Dr. Stern commands in a way that makes it clear he's used to being obeyed. When I don't, his eyes narrow. “Or you'll never find out where we're keeping him,” he adds.

Urgency makes my tongue thick and dry. “Where is he?” I put my finger on the trigger, tempted to shoot him in the knee just to make that confidence disappear.

“All in good time,” he replies, infuriatingly calm. “I want to speak with you first.”

Still, my eyes scan the shadows. There's only the three of us. When I continue to hesitate, impatience flickers behind those glasses. The old man waves a hand to the chair across from him. “Sit.”

He wants to talk? Fine. I plop down into the chair—air whooshes out of the cushion—and toss my gun at his feet. Travis picks it up.

“Why the charade?” I spit. “Why make me think you were so terrified of Andrew?” Maybe once we get all of the questions out of the way, he'll be willing to make a trade. Me for Saul.

Dr. Stern leans forward, forming a steeple with his fingers. “I hoped to gain your trust, in order to obtain the flash drive,” he answers simply. “What is that American saying? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar?”

“You'll never find it,” I snarl, clutching the armrests to restrain myself. I wish it were true. The box Missy gave me is in plain sight, just waiting for someone to lift the lid and discover its contents.

This doesn't concern Dr. Stern. The only Emotion present is Excitement, and she doesn't look pleased to be next to Travis. The old man eases back again, expressionless. “I imagine not. But you'll tell us where it is in due time.” Before I can ask him what he intends to do, Dr. Stern gestures to the man standing behind him. “This is Mr. Bardeen. He's going to take care of you tonight.”

Take care of you
. The words make me want to dive for the gun. My eyes meet Travis's, and I clench my jaw so tightly pain radiates through it. “We've met.”

At this, Dr. Stern falls silent. He inclines his head slightly. Travis looks rueful now. “Aw, I couldn't help myself, doc,” he whines. “I kept an eye on her like you said. I just played with her a little, too.”

“You tried to ram me off the road.”

Travis laughs, the same laugh he made when I shot at him.

Irritation shimmers into existence—an Emotion that looks like a child, strangely enough—and taps Dr. Stern on the shoulder. He sighs and looks at him. “Not so hard, little one,” he admonishes. I blink in surprise. Then he focuses on me again. “I do apologize for those incidents. The injections have made Mr. Bardeen unstable, like the others, but he follows orders well enough that I decided to keep him around. As you've probably discerned, he enjoys the work he does for me. Now, before he takes you back to the lab, I believe there is some unfinished business for you to attend to. A deal is a deal, after all.”

“You'll let him go?” I breathe, digging my nails into the chair again as I wait for his response. It doesn't matter that they've lured me out here to kill me or take me. All that matters is Saul walking through the door of our apartment tonight, and Missy running from the window to embrace him and lecture him for being so late.

Dr. Stern rises and tugs at his vest in a manner eerily similar to Andrew. “Letting him go is entirely up to you, Miss Tate.” He nods at Travis.

I frown. “Wait, what—”

My head explodes. The force of Travis's blow makes my chair tilt, and a second later I slam into the dirt. A moan echoes off the walls. I see stars and colors. Some part of me is aware of retreating footsteps—Dr. Stern is getting away—but I'm helpless to stop him. Travis leers over me. I steel myself for a kick that doesn't come. Outside, Dr. Stern starts a car. The engine purrs, then slinks away. He's gone.

As soon as the quiet wraps around us, Travis reaches down and helps me up. I try to snatch my hand back but his grip only tightens. “We have to climb down the ladder,” he tells me, winking. I sway on my feet. “Think you're up for it? Hell, what am I saying? You're tougher than any other chick I know.” He swings away, whistling through his teeth. My gun is tucked into his belt.

Wheezing, I manage to follow him to the hole that leads down, down, down into the ground. Everything inside me writhes and recoils at the idea of going deeper into the mines, but this choice has been taken from me. I didn't realize how valuable decisions are until I no longer had one. Without glancing back to make sure I'm coming, Travis puts his feet on the rungs and descends. He vanishes into the darkness. I'm frozen, staring into the hole and trapped in the memory of the last time I was here.

Daddy, take me back up! I'm scared.

It's all right, honey. We'll go back up. Just put your arms around my neck and I'll carry you, okay?

Warmth. A lullaby. Then air. But my father isn't here this time to save me. This time I'm not the one that needs saving.

Breathing raggedly, I clamp the sides of the ladder in my hands and inch down until my heel touches a rung.
Go back up!
instinct shrieks. Somehow I ignore it and shuffle to the next step. Then the next. My stomach quakes. I do this again and again and again with all the swiftness of Georgie reading a book. That is, extremely slowly. “Sometime today!” Travis shouts, his voice bouncing off the walls. Suddenly light reaches for me, showing the way, and I dare to peek toward the ground. There's an electric lantern waiting at the bottom of the ladder. Travis must have carried it down earlier. It makes me braver, and I eventually reach the end. The instant my feet touch ground I collapse, catching my breath. My fingers brush against something hard—a rock.

“Finally,” Travis mutters, stalking down the tunnel to our left. “Let's get this show on the road.”

My hand wraps around the rock. Picking it up, I break into a run to keep up with his long-legged strides, desperate to stay within the circle of light despite how close it brings me to Travis. There's a swagger to his walk that tells me this isn't his first time in these tunnels. Soon we're so far underground I can't hear the rain anymore. Every time thunder sounds, though, my heart leaps into my mouth and I'm terrified that the ceiling will come down on us. It begins to feel like the mines are closing in, burying me alive, and Travis just keeps turning and walking and whistling. I try to keep count of every step and memorize each turn. Right, right, left, right, right. Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four …

Somewhere in the fifth passageway, my endurance snaps.

“This is far enough,” I hiss, trying to keep hysteria at bay. My nonexistent nails leave indents in my palms. “
Where is Saul ?
”

Travis twists around and walks backward. His face looks like a Halloween mask in the lantern's glow. “Saul?” he echoes with raised brows. He chortles. “We don't have Saul!”

He's still retreating, but I jerk to a stop and stare at how the light glints off his crooked teeth. This was all a ploy. No one knows where I am, and Travis has my gun. When I thought I was making the sacrifice for Saul, it was worth it, but now?

I want a choice.

Which is why I raise the rock and bash it into Travis's head.

He crumples instantly, and something warm and sticky coats my fingers. Without waiting to see if he'll recover, I stumble in the direction we just came from. The light doesn't stretch far and soon I'm plunging into complete darkness again. The only sounds are my wild gasps and Travis's groans, and it all echoes together to form a soundtrack of horror. The walls are uneven and unmerciful and I keep slamming into them. By the time I reach the next tunnel my entire body aches, my lungs burn, my ribs scream. I pause for an instant—just an instant—to listen.
Nothing
, that tiny voice whispers. But then comes the sound I've been dreading.