Where the Heart Lies (6 page)

“You’re forgetting that I came back for you.” He nuzzled close to her ear, pressing kisses to the hollow of her throat that sent fresh bolts of fire down her spine.

Jordan groaned. “I know. A lot has changed since then.”

“What’s changed is that I want what you want now,” Clay said huskily. “Like I told you, I’m staying here in Victoria. No more globetrotting. It’s time for a slower pace, time to focus on the things that are important.”

Jordan stared at him, a muddle of emotions tumbling through her in a dizzying blur. “If it’s a slower pace you’re after, I think you ought to go home now.”

“Maybe I ought to stay.”

As he bent toward her again, Jordan turned her head to the side. As much as she ached for his kiss, she knew if she didn’t summon the resolve to put a stop to it now, the powerful undertow of desire spiraling between them would soon engulf her. “Clay, please. I’m serious. You can’t come back here after eleven years and expect to pick up where we left off. It doesn’t work that way.”

Finally Clay released her, his hands dropping to his sides. The disappointment etched through his handsome features pained her.

“I’m sorry. It was presumptuous of me. You’re right, I should go. Thank you for dinner.”

With a brisk nod of her head, Jordan wrapped her arms about herself, feeling chilled out of his embrace.

After kissing her lightly on the cheek, Clay strode to the coat closet to pick up his jacket, then left the house without another word.

He would probably never be back.

Jordan flopped miserably onto the sofa, listening to his car door close, before the engine hummed to life and then faded into the distance, leaving only the drumming of rain on the windowpane.

She couldn’t believe what had just happened. For Clay to show up out of the blue and expect they could erase those years was simply preposterous. What made him think she still felt anything for him at all?

The trouble was, she did feel something. The moment he’d kissed her, it was as though they
had
picked up just where they left off, the comfort and excitement of his arms around her as fresh as though no time had passed at all. And finally, now, Clay wasn’t running off to the other side of the world. He wanted nothing more than to stay with her. Suddenly he was offering her everything she’d wanted eleven years ago.

So what
was
the problem, then? Why was she so frightened?

The answer came to her the moment she posed the question; things
had
changed, and Clay wasn’t the only one whose heart had shifted in the time since. After two failed marriages, Jordan didn’t see things as she once had. The notion of marriage and family that she’d idealized in her young imagination had long since lost its sheen. Somehow she hadn’t yet managed to learn how to make a relationship work. After leaving Richard, she’d vowed to keep her heart closely guarded, and not to risk another upheaval in Molly’s life; besides, she didn’t think she had the strength to go through it again.

Though her heart ached to acknowledge it, Jordan knew that once again she and Clay didn’t want the same things—and there was no way she could be with him and not love him and need him with the passionate intensely she once had.

And one thing she couldn’t bear the thought of was losing Clay McAdam all over again.

* * *

The phone rang just as Jordan was packing a set of 1960s Nancy Drew hardcovers into a bag for a customer. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Adele heading to answer it.

“Enjoy these,” she told the customer, handing the bag over the counter to her.

“Thank you so much,” the woman said, beaming. “I’ve been looking for these for years. I read them religiously as a kid.”

Jordan returned her smile, genuinely pleased. “I’m glad. Come back in sometime, we might have more volumes for you.”

When she turned around, Adele was holding the phone receiver out to her. “It’s for you.”

Jordan took the phone from her. “Hello, Jordan speaking.”

“This is Sheryl, Clay’s sister,” said a crisp female voice. “How are you?”

“Oh, hello,” Jordan replied slowly. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“I imagine you’re surprised to hear from me,” Sheryl went on, her voice genial but reserved. “After all, we’ve never met, since I was living in California when you two were dating—though I did hear a lot about you. I’m sure you’re aware that this whole business with Clay is due to my prodding.”

“Yes,” was all Jordan could think to say, wondering just how much of their
business
his sister was privy to.

She heard a gentle sigh over the line. “I just wanted to apologize, Jordan. I’m sure it was upsetting for you. But surely you can understand why I drew the conclusion I did.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s all over now,” Jordan said, exchanging a glance with Adele. Jordan thought she must have a peculiar look on her face, judging by the way her friend was eyeing her inquisitively.

“Clay told me he invited you to Alice’s party,” Sheryl said. “Have you decided whether to come?”

Jordan didn’t answer at first. Then she said carefully, “I don’t think I will.” She couldn’t hide her surprise. Surely Clay wouldn’t want her there after what had happened between them the last time they saw each other.

“Please do, Jordan. There’s plenty of room at our mother’s house. The kids are all sleeping outside in tents. Clay told me there’s an estate sale nearby that you shouldn’t miss. And you do like horseback riding, don’t you?”

“Very much, but—”

“Then it’s settled. You and Molly should arrive Friday evening, as soon as you can get there. She has a map with her invitation.”

Jordan couldn’t see a way out of it. “See you Friday,” she said weakly.

“See you then.”

After hanging up, Jordan stared at the phone for a moment, stunned by what had just happened.

“What’s up?” Adele asked.

“I was just persuaded by Clay’s sister to attend Alice’s birthday party this weekend,” Jordan told her dully. “At least I think I was persuaded. I don’t think I was given much choice in the matter.”

“So you need me to mind the store this weekend?”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Jordan said quickly, reaching for the phone. “I’ll call her back and tell her I can’t make it.”

Adele waved her off. “Don’t be silly. I can look after the place for a couple of days. You did tell me there was an estate sale on the island on Saturday.”

“Yes, but I was planning on sending
you
, not going myself.”

“You really don’t want to go?”

Jordan exhaled sharply, exasperated. “To spend the weekend at Clay’s mother’s house? Are you kidding?”

“How bad can it be?”

“I haven’t told you about what happened the other night with Clay.”

Adele moved closer, resting her elbows on the countertop, her eyes alight with interest. “You told me he apologized to you. Was there more?”

“A bit.”

Her friend’s eyebrows inched higher, prompting Jordan to continue.

“We had dinner together,” she confessed. “And he kissed me.”

Adele’s jaw dropped. “And you left all of this out?”

“I was embarrassed.”

“Then what happened?” Adele demanded, grasping Jordan’s arm.

“Nothing. I sent him home.”

Her friend stared at her, confused and impatient to know more. “Well, what now? Were there sparks? Are you seeing him again?”

“Yes and no,” Jordan said, twisting her hands together in unease. “Yes, it was a great kiss, and no, I won’t see him again. Not in a romantic sense.”

Adele couldn’t conceal her disappointment. “But you said it was a great kiss. Is there no chance of relighting that old flame?” Her cheeks were pink, her lips curved into a wistful smile. “I think it’s so romantic—recapturing a lost love from the past.”

“It’s just not a good idea,” Jordan said, irritated that she wasn’t being understood. More than anything, she was angry at herself for accepting Sheryl’s invitation when she could have easily invented an excuse. “So you can see how awkward it would be for me to go to this party, and stay at their house. I’ll bet Clay put Sheryl up to inviting me. I can’t imagine she really wants to spend the weekend with me. But then I can’t imagine why Clay would want me around after I practically pushed him out the door.”

Adele shrugged. “Who knows, you might have a good time.”

Their conversation ended when Molly bounded into the store, excitedly prattling on about the party. It was all she’d been able to talk about, and today she’d found out from Alice that Sheryl was going to invite Jordan to join them for the weekend.

“You are coming, aren’t you?” Molly said hopefully, swinging her backpack off her shoulder. “It’ll be so much fun. You said you wanted to meet Alice’s mom, and now you can. And we’ll get to go horseback riding together!”

“Wouldn’t you rather get away from your old mother for a couple of days?” Jordan suggested, although she knew she’d rarely spent an entire day with her daughter since taking over the bookstore, and Molly missed her.

The ten-year-old didn’t bite. “No. Besides, you work just about every day. You haven’t had any time off to relax in ages.”

Jordan couldn’t imagine being able to relax at this particular party, but she appreciated her daughter’s concern.

Molly went on, “Alice’s uncle Clay is going to take us kayaking. And he’s going to show us some shell middens—do you know what they are? They’re like ancient garbage piles from thousands of years ago. Did you know he’s an archeologist? He is
so
cool. I wish I had an uncle like him.”

“Is that so,” Jordan muttered.

Molly gave her mother a grim look. “You don’t like him, do you.”

“Why would you say that?”

“I heard you arguing outside that night he drove me home, when I was getting ready for bed.”

Jordan stared at her daughter, alarmed. “Did you hear what we were talking about?”

Molly shook her head. “No, but I was surprised. I thought you were friends.”

“We used to be,” Jordan said. “That was a long time ago.”

“But you made up, right?”

Jordan hesitated. “It’s complicated, Molly. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

The little girl rolled her eyes. “I hope my life doesn’t ever get that complicated.”

“I hope so, too.” Jordan sighed. “But I told Alice’s mother I’d come, so I suppose I will.”

Her daughter grinned, her eyes bright. “Great. We’ll have the best time, I promise.”

As the ferry moved toward the dock at Fulford Harbour, Jordan and Molly leaned over the rail to take in the view. With the ocean giving way to land on either side, they surveyed the tree-lined shore that sloped gently upward, the treetops glimmering with the light of the sinking sun. At the wharf, a number of small boats bobbed serenely on the dark blue water.

“It’s so pretty,” Molly breathed. “I’m going to live here someday.”

“Not a bad idea,” Jordan agreed, the warm air lifting her hair from her forehead. She’d always loved the rugged beauty of the Gulf Islands, having visited her aunt and uncle’s cottage on nearby Galiano Island many times as a girl. Known as the jewel of the islands, Salt Spring was the largest of the group and sat nestled beside Vancouver Island, just up the coast from Victoria; north-east across the Georgia Strait was her hometown of Vancouver. If it weren’t for the knot tightening in her stomach, Jordan couldn’t have been more delighted to find herself on Salt Spring on that clear, gorgeous evening.

“Come on, we’d better make our way to the car,” she said. “We’re about to dock.”

Once off the ferry, they drove through the tiny town of Fulford and then headed north into the island’s interior. Soon they were immersed in idyllic rural scenery, with orchards, farms and vineyards rolling by on either side of the road.
Molly leaned out the window to eagerly snap pictures of sheep grazing near the roadside, their pastures framed by luxuriant forest that rose to envelop the rolling hills beyond.

When they turned down the wooded road leading to the McAdam house, the trees soon gave way to a clearing that looked out on a nearby bay. The house was large but unassuming, a two-story cedar structure with high windows and a wraparound porch. Adirondack chairs were set out front by the neatly manicured garden. Jordan parked behind several other cars in the wide driveway, next to a gleaming black Lexus sport coupe.

As mother and daughter walked up to the door, Jordan found herself wondering why in the world she’d agreed to come. It wasn’t too late to back out; she could leave Molly there and return for her on Sunday. She’d need an explanation, of course, and couldn’t manage to come up with one before they reached the door and Molly pressed the doorbell eagerly.