Where Their Hearts Collide: Wardham Book #2 (18 page)

Watching her parents comfort each other in small but familiar ways now carried more significance for Karen.
If things were different, that could have been her and Paul in thirty years. 

That was a depressing train of thought, and she was too darn
tired to deal with it. If she entertained that resentment, she’d crawl inside herself and give up. They might not be able to have a forever love affair like her parents, but they had something, and she wasn’t going to let go of that just because it wasn’t everything she might want it to be.

Hearing his voice would help. Her gaze drifted to the large picture on the wall, a cell phone trapped behind a red crossed out circle, and puffed her cheeks out with a heavy sigh.
Right. That wasn’t going to happen.

“Come on
, girls, let’s head back to the waiting room, I’m sure they need this room for other families.” Her dad held the door for them, and once they were across the hall again he turned all business. Hank Miller was back, and in charge. A weight lifted from Karen’s shoulders, and she let herself be taken care of for a few minutes.

After dispensing Mitchell a
nd Oscar on tasks, Hank opened his laptop and announced that Davis’s flight would be landing on time, and they’d need a plan to sneak him into the hospital later. Audrey protested, and Karen smiled to herself. They’d both always been rule followers, Grace’s good girls, both of them. But Davis and Chase were close, to each other and their father, who knew his hellions better than anyone. There was no point pretending their brother would wait until morning.              

“He’ll have no trouble getting past the nurses; or he will, but he’ll get a few numbers and get a note to Chase either way.” She rolled her eyes at her father’s proud grin.
“Seriously, Dad? Good lord. That’s where they both get their false sense of invincibility. Jeez.”

Hank ignored her verbal jab and lifted the computer instead. “Do either of you want to check your email?”

Audrey waved him off, but Karen gratefully accepted the offer. They’d never emailed before, but maybe Paul would have magically sourced her address the way he had her phone number earlier in their relationship.

Their relationship.

She stilled her fingers on the keyboard, hating the painful thump of hope in her chest at those two little words. Their weak-ass, limited-by-too-many-constraints, secret relationship. Nothing to get excited about.

But she did.
Couldn’t help it. For all of his protests, he was the best man she’d ever met, ever been with, and she’d dropped all of her defenses.

Now her expectations were sky-high
. Crappity crap.

Even as she mentally scrambled to not care what she found, or didn’t find, in her inbox, disappointment unfurled in her gut.

Stop it
, she told herself, but it was no good. The page loaded, revealing a bunch of bookseller promotional messages and a single personalized note—from Carrie.

“
Kar? Everything okay?”

She glanced up, blinking twice to focus on Audrey’s furrowed brow and bright eyes.
“Yeah.” She closed the browser window. “Yep, everything is okay.”

“Nothing from—”

“No.” Karen shot her sister a sharp look.
Not in front of Dad
. Not at all, if she had her choice, but Audrey was a dog with a bone when she was curious. All she could do was postpone the inquisition.

Audrey shrugged her shoulders, like she didn’t get why it was a big deal.

But Paul was a big deal. Maybe the only chance she’d ever have for a passionate affair. The thought of dating anyone else just made her sad. Sad that she hadn’t finished her schooling a decade earlier, that she couldn’t be the easy, always-present, flexible-life girlfriend that Paul needed right now. And deep down, sad that he couldn’t be what she needed, either. It wasn’t fair, when in every other way they seemed perfect for each other.

She felt like she was back in hig
h school, riddled with hormones. Frustration bubbled hot and desperate inside her, her personal drama twisting around her fear and worry for her brother. When her mother reappeared in the waiting room door, this time with a tired but happy smile warming her face, some of Karen’s anxiety faded, and she pushed the rest of her concerns away. First, she had a little brother to pick on for being a terrible driver. Then she could start to fix her own mess.

Cha
se looked terrible, so she held off on teasing him. In the end, she didn’t say much of anything, just squeezed his hand sixty thousand times and pretended to be brave. Audrey, who had cried all of her tears earlier, actually was brave, and managed to get their brother to crack a few smiles before sleep overtook him and they slipped out of his room.

The night nurse, a hockey fan with grown children of her own,
pish-poshed when Grace tried to say goodnight, and promised to find a lie-flat recliner instead. The girls hovered in the hallway for a minute, in case their dad needed a ride, but he waved them on. “Davis will pick up a rental car—I’ll wait here until he shows up and then head to hotel with him. It’ll be a good excuse to get him up here.”

At the hotel, Mitchell was waiting in the lobby. He straightened as they stepped through the revolving doors and offered a hesitant wave. He had a nerdy vulnerability now, out of Oscar’s shadow, and Karen felt the sharp edge of her resistance to him soften.
For a communications suit, he wasn’t all that polished. And he looked genuinely relieved to see them.

“Mitchell, you didn’t have to meet us here. I thought you’d still be waiting at the hospital.” Karen offered a small smile. “Not that there’s anything that any of us can do right now, I suppose.”

“Oscar’s going to wait there overnight. I need to make some phone calls and that’s easier from here. Did you have any difficulty getting away?”

Audrey shook her head. “No
. The ward clerk went ahead of us and scouted a clear exit. She said there’s only a couple of reporters in the lobby, and a hospital spokesperson is keeping them entertained.”

He nodded. “I have a staff person liaising with the hospital
. They’re going to do a press conference tomorrow. With the series going to game seven, this is a minor story.” He winced. “For the media, not for your family, of course.”

Before Karen could assure him no offense had been taken, Audrey reached out
, pressed a hand to his forearm and murmured the same thing. Mitchell swallowed hard and shifted ever so slightly.
Interesting
.

In the elevator,
Karen snuck side glances at her not-so-little sister. Should she say something? Was it any of her business? Probably not, but maybe if it was a tit-for-tat exchange…

“So.
Want to talk about guys?”

Audrey’s gaze snapped up from her studious exploration of the geometrical pattern on the carpet. “
Like that Paul guy?”

She laughed. “Sure. And maybe I’ll play the big sister card and warn you about the dangers of flirting with nerdy older guys.”

“I wasn’t flirting! And he’s not nerdy!” Audrey’s eyes flashed wide and bright for a second, but narrowed as she mulled over the last bit. “He is older, though. And he probably wouldn’t want to have a fling with Chase’s little sister.”

Ache pulsed in Karen’s chest. When did her baby sister, who had been in grade one when Karen left home for university, grow up? But that wasn’t her sole cause for concern. What had she been thinking, trying to play it fast and loose with Paul? He’d held her off for good reason. And after one night and an emotionally needy morning, she’d immediately leapt to a plan that disrespected his carefully constructed boundaries.

A fling was a terrible idea.

“Maybe for you
.”

Karen jerked her spine straight. “Did I say that out loud?”

The elevator doors opened and Audrey held her hand over the gap, waving her off first. “Mitchell looks at me like he’d be happy to see me naked and make it worth my time. He’s fling material. Paul looks at you…”             

Karen’s pulse picked up. “How does he look at me?”

“Like you’re the most precious thing in the world, and he doesn’t quite know what to do about that.” Audrey wrinkled her nose. “I mean that last bit in a good way. Like he can’t believe he’s the guy who gets to be with you.”

If only. “Up until yesterday, he wasn’t. A
nd even today, I’m not sure where we stand.”

“What happened?”

“It’s a long story.” Their suite was at the end of the hall. Karen slid her card into the reader and pushed the door open.

They fumbled for lights, unpacked, used the bathroom and flopped on the matching double beds before Audrey cleared her throat.

“What?”

“I’m waiting for the long story.
The tale of woe that will warn me off an ill-advised fling with Nerdy Mitchell.”

“How is that guy the Director of Communications for an NHL team?” Karen laughed gently. “I guess he has a certain disarming charm.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s more nerdy around me than other people.”

“Wow, that’s…confident.”

“Today wasn’t the first time we’ve met. I’ve seen him a few times at games. He looks at me, a lot.” Audrey grinned. “Now that we know Chase is going to be okay, I feel like this could be an opportunity.”

“No.”
Karen shook her head from side to side, but both her words and her action lacked conviction. Who was she to give advice, on flings, or relationships…or anything, really? “I don’t know. It seems like a bad idea.”

“It’s a terrible idea. I’m thinking about it anyway.”

“Seriously, when did you turn into a woman?”

“A while ago.”

“Hmmm.”

“When did you fall in love with Paul?”

“A while ago.”
With a groan, Karen pressed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. Maybe if she pressed hard enough, she’d pass out, and wake up back in Wardham. Maybe this whole sad, mixed-up day was a nightmare.

“So what’s the problem?”

“He has a ten-year-old daughter, and between work and trying to be an active part in her life, he can’t have a long-distance relationship for the next year.”

“And you’re definitely leaving.”

“Yeah.” Oh, the irony. “And that’s because of him, you know? He pushed me to admit I wanted more out of life. One of the first times we ever talked, I spilled my guts about coming home that Christmas and never going back. Told him about the store, and Mom and Dad, and finally admitted I wanted the grand adventure I’d missed out on in my twenties.”

“It’s more than just school and a career change?”

No, it wouldn’t be. She just wasn’t cut out for that lifestyle. She couldn’t be anything but the good girl, no matter how much she tried. Being trouble for Paul was as far as her bad girl career would ever extend. “That was the idea.”

Audrey didn’t say anything for a while, and Karen rolled over to check if her sister had fallen asleep. Instead, she was frowning up at the ceiling. “Do you think I’m a slut?”

“Because of Mitchell? God, no.”

“But you never did anything like that…”

“Because I’m a different person than you. My choices aren’t better or worse, they’re just…well, they’re not even really choices. It’s just how I am. And…” Audrey had confided in her. This secret would be safe, but it still pushed her outside her comfort zone to share it. “I’ve been a little slutty myself, lately.”

“I thought you said a fling was a bad idea?”

“It is. You might accidentally fall in love.” That ache returned, spreading now from her chest to unsettle her stomach. How was she going to deal with that? As if on cue, her phone rang. Still too early for Davis to have landed. With a twisted combination of anticipation and fear, she glanced at the display screen. Paul’s name glowed, his number searing itself into her vision.

“That him?”

“Yeah.”

“Why aren’t you answering?”

“I don’t know.”

He thought about calling again before his shift started, but it was early.

He hadn’t slept well, rousing frequently to check his phone and wonder why she hadn’t called. He knew that caring was a dangerous path to go down, but he’d made that choice a long time ago. It had just been pushed into overdrive yesterday, when his protective instincts kicked in. And throughout the night, not once had he thought it was a mistake to worry about Karen. To want to make her problems better, and be there for her to vent when he couldn’t actually be the
remedy himself. Even when he’d realized she wasn’t going to call him back, that she didn’t need him to be all of that for her, it didn’t register as a problem.

But now in the light of day, he knew he’d find a way to sabotage himself.
Any minute now, that autopilot would shut off and the fear that had permanent residence in his neocortex would take over.

He
’d done some things he wasn’t proud of after his divorce. Regrettable one night stands, blown commitments with Susan and work, a few painful nights of trying to reclaim a youth he’d never had in the first place, and worst of all, he missed the better part of four years of Megan’s life while he was stuck at the point of being left and knowing it had been his fault. It took him too damn long to shake off the fog of self-recrimination. He’d been around, but barely, and he didn't blame Susan for calling him on that bullshit.