Wherever You Go (23 page)

"You deserve to be happy with whoever it is that you're cooking for."

He powered down his computer. "Thanks."

"So, you're doing a luau or something for her?"

"Or something. I just want to cook some Hawaiian stuff for a friend's family."

"C'mon, I know it's Holly," Faith said, rolling her eyes. "Mark told me."

"Oh, great."

"Stop stressing. I think that's cool. I don't care what anyone else says, I always liked her." She shoved her Mac into her messenger bag. She gave him a little wave, getting up from the chair.

"Wait," Jason said, putting a hand on her arm. "About what happened with us—I'm sorry, Faith."

She looked surprised and slid back down into the seat next to him. "Well, don't be sorry. I didn't know what to do for you," she said. "I never had my best friend die, you know?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "You know, I miss us hanging out."

"Me too." She gave him a hug across chairs, surrounding him with the smell of her perfume, her hair.

He was suddenly remembering the good times they'd spent, the times before Rob had died and everything had imploded.

"If you need any help," she said, pulling away, "with the Phoenicians or the Hawaiian food, will you let me know?"

"Yeah," he said.

She got up and moseyed toward the door, passing Mark, who was on his way in with his next class. Mark gave her a smile and then nodded over at him. Jason slid his laptop into his bag and moved toward the exit. So, Mark was telling everyone, including Faith, about him and Holly. Well, fine. It didn't matter if the whole school knew, did it? He was proud to be with a girl like her.

He headed out the door while Mark was distracted at the circulation desk and made his way toward his math class. He had more important things, like a luau, to worry about.

***

You don't want to see him.

If ever he planned to scare you off, he'd done it yesterday. Aldo had stared you in the eye and tried to elicit a confession. A run-down. And all you could do was make him cry. Seeing his eyes fill with tears terrified you. Today you'll stay away.

It's funny how your afterlife so far is mostly being spent with Holly's family. You're not tied to your own house, haunting your own hood. The ghosts in movies always seemed tied to a place, but you are tied to people. Though they can't see you, you do feeou,tied to yol like being with your family today. Maybe they're the real reason you're still tied to Earth and all this Aldo stuff has just distracted you from the real answer to why you're here. Ironically, as a ghost you're attempting to answer the question philosophers can't even begin to touch...

Midmorning, you find a perch in one of the elementary school's classrooms, just near your sister's desk. Kayla's drawing pictures to go with a story she wrote about riding on elephants. She had probably watched a
National Geographic
special about Thailand with Dad last night.

For a kid, she's good at making the elephants realistically, shading the folds of the ears, the underbelly. You hope she'll be an artist, but you know your dad will keep pushing all the hard science classes, the advanced math, on her. You've seen the violin in her room, heard her practicing with the screeching cat noises of beginning players. Thank God they're not making her turn out for sports, too. Kayla, except for a few years fumbling around on the soccer field, hadn't shown any interest in keeping that family tradition alive.

"Riding an elephant," you say wistfully. You can imagine Kayla growing up and traveling to Southeast Asia and climbing up the rope ladder onto one of the giant's backs. She could do it, too. She's got her whole life ahead of her, after all. The only place you'll be riding elephants is in your imagination. Or in heaven if you can get there.

Once you arrive at the pearly gates, don't you get to do all the things you wanted to in life but never got to? The nerd guy gets to hook up with the hottest chick imaginable. The old people get to be all young again. Teens get to grow up. Yeah, maybe that is part of heaven. Maybe you'll live out a life that should have been yours on Earth. Funny how that hadn't seemed so important while you were here. Sometimes all you wanted to do was to leave it all behind. But now it seems like something you want to do. Grow up, have adventures, travel, see things like elephants in the wild, do something important to help people, all that world-peace stuff.

"Kayla, that's beautiful," says the gray-haired teacher, Mrs. Nelson. You think you had her for second grade too. You remember her tie-dye socks and sandals, her wicker rocking chair, the smells of lavender air freshener and cinnamon tea perfuming her classroom.

"Elephants can carry a whole family," your sister says.

"Is that them on his back?"

"The elephant is a
her,
" Kayla says matter-of-factly.

"Is that your family on
her
back?"

"Yep. Me and mom and dad. And I left a space for Rob," she says, looking up at her teacher.

"That was kind of you," she says, patting Kayla on the back. "Angels need room too."

Angel.

The word echoes in your mind. Is that what you are? Maybe you're not some pathetic ghost. You are an angel. You bring tidings, or something like that. "Unto e te wyou a child is born" flashes through your mind. You know that's leftover from Christmas pageants at the Methodist church.

You don't actually know the difference between an angel and a ghost. But somehow the thought that you have work to do—angel's work—makes you realize that you need to get it together, suck up your courage, and figure out how to help people. The minimarket clerk. Aldo. Whoever.

It
is
about helping others. It should never have been about you at all. Angels are there for a reason—to help guard someone, to comfort them, to lead them through something. Yeah. Someone needs you to watch over them.

Your heart beats with new purpose. And your soul almost feels like it could fly.

"Hey," Jason said into the intercom. "Can I come up?"

"Who is this?" A woman's voice came out from the speaker.

"Oh, sorry, Mrs. Mullen. I thought you were Holly. It's Jason."

"Holly took her grandfather to the pharmacy," she said. "She'll be back in a little while."

"Um ... could I come up and wait for her? She's hard to get ahold of on her cell."

The buzzer sounded, and Jason pushed through the glass door and into the lobby of the building. Worn brown carpet showed the traffic pattern to the inset metal mailboxes that lined the far wall. A few dying palm plants stood sentinel on either side of a single elevator. The inside of the place looked a little worse than it had from the other side of the glass. Pressing the button, Jason waited for the elevator to come down. He studied the swirls of textured paint on the interior walls, counting down until finally the lift arrived.

A moment of shaky riding later, he emerged on the sixth floor and saw Holly's apartment straight ahead. A dusty grapevine wreath with birdhouses and butterflies decorated her door. When he knocked, the door swung open and Holly's mom stood in front of him in a green polo shirt and khaki pants.

"Hi," she said. "C'mon in."

"Thanks." He stepped inside, and she shut the door behind him. The hallway was small, cramped, with a coat rack, a pile of shoes and boots and backpacks, a kid's scooter. Even though it was only about six o'clock, the place seemed a little dark, like there weren't enough lights on.

"Why don't you wait in here," Mrs. Mullen said, motioning him onward. Passing the sound of TV playing some sitcom in the other room, he followed her into the kitchen.

It was cheerful in this room, and Jason sensed Holly's hand there. Yellow dishtowels on the oven handle, a set of chickenshaped salt and pepper shakers on the table next to a simple jar of daisies and a pile of mail. Something savory, like onions and meat, scented the air.

<.
"Wow, dinner smells great," he murmured.

"Holly's got stuff going in the slow cooker," her mom said. "Some kind of stew, I think."

"Wow. I don't think we even own one of those," he said.

Mrs. Mullen smiled. "Here, sit. Can I get you water or something? I think we've got a diet soda, maybe." She gestured toward the fridge, but took a seat at the table.

"No, I'm fine. You're sure this is okay? I don't mean to impose," he said, sliding into a chair across from her.

She moved aside a
People
magazine and a small stack of bills and took a sip from a nearly empty wineglass. "They'll be back in a little while. You're fine. I don't work until seven thirty anyway."

Jason offered a smile. "Thanks for letting me wait." They sat quietly for a moment. "So, actually, I'm glad you're here," he said. "I'm planning a surprise for Holly—well, Aldo really—and I'd like all of you to come. This Friday, do you think you could do dinner at my house?"

She gazed at him with the same blue eyes as Holly, although there was something different behind them—weariness, acceptance. "Hmm. Friday. I'm not sure I'd be able to get the night off."

"Well, what night would be good for you?" Jason asked. "I mean, I could change things around a little to make it so you can come."

"That's awfully nice," Mrs. Mullen said, looking genuinely pleased.

"It's no big deal. Maybe Saturday, then?"

She nodded. "I'll check the schedule tonight when I go in to work. I might be able to do it."

"Great. It's something on Aldo's list—and I'd like you to be there."

Mrs. Mullen stared at Jason for a second, a puzzled look on her face. "Plus, I'd like you to meet my mom," Jason said.

"I think I've met her," Mrs. Mullen said, after a pause. "You know, at the funeral."

"Oh, I guess you're right. Yeah, she was definitely there with me."

"Here, let me get you something," she said as she rose from the table. "You can't be a guest in our house and not have anything. How about that soda?"

"Okay."

She opened the fridge but then turned back to him. "Or water. We're out of the soda."

"That's fine," he said. "Really, I don't need anything."

Mrs. Mullen took a seat at the table. "It's nice of you, you know, to be helping Holly with my father. She told me how you picked themou don't nee up at the doctor's office yesterday."

"I was glad she called me," he said. "Surprised, actually."

Mrs. Mullen fidgeted with the collar of her polo shirt. "We've got a lot going on over here. Anyway, I appreciate your helping her."

"It's hard, what she's doing," Jason said.

She nodded but didn't say anything.

"Aldo's a real cool guy," Jason said. "I mean, I can tell he used to be a lot of fun."

Mrs. Mullen let out a sigh. "He ruled my childhood with an iron fist," she said. "He's a very sweet grandpa, though. When parents are raising their kids, they're not always the person they'll eventually become. They have growing up to do, too."

"Sounds like my dad."

She smiled and saluted him with her glass.

Just then, he heard the sound of the front door. "A few more steps," Holly's voice coaxed. "All right, you're there. Okay, why don't you give me your hat and coat? Now, go on ahead. I'll hang up this stuff."

Aldo shuffled into the kitchen. His hair was windblown, like gray and white feathers standing on end. He gave Jason a nod of recognition, or at least it seemed like it, as he came over and lowered himself into a seat at the table. He looked at Holly's mom with a neutral expression but then returned her smile.

Holly came into the kitchen holding a drugstore bag, saw Jason, and froze. "Oh, hey," she said in a quiet voice. "What are you, uh, doing here?"

"He came by to see you," said her mom, getting up from the table and walking to the sink with her glass. "Isn't that nice?"

Holly's eyes were still wide as she came over and stood next to him. "She let you up?"

"Yeah, I've been here for a few minutes. You weren't answering your phone."

"I don't—um, can you come with me for a second?"

"Sure," he said, getting up to follow her. He thought they were going to Holly's room, but instead she led him out into the hallway and shut the door.

"You can't—I mean, you shouldn't just stop by here."

"Why not?"

"Our place isn't the best to hang out at, you know. You couldn't just wait to see me at school tomorrow?"

He got it. Saw it in her eyes, in her quiet voice. "Holly, there's nothing wrong with this place. It's just an apartment. I don't care about stuff like that."

"Right, but Jason, can you just listen to me? It's weird having you here."

"Fine. I'll go," he said.

"No, wait a sec." She reached for his hand. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to see us like this. I mean, this place is a mess and—"

"You don't want me to see how things really are?"

"You know what I mean." She pulled Jason into a hug.

Instantly everything was better. He didn't feel like such a jackass for showing up. In fact, he didn't feel anything but Holly's warmth against him. He held her as tight as she'd let him.