While We're Apart (16 page)

They started walking again, but at a slower, more accommodating pace. ‘She'll have grown even more by the time you're home again,' muttered Ron.

‘She will that,' Jim said sadly, ‘and she probably won't even know who I am.' He came to a halt as they reached the flat top of the hill. ‘That's what worries me, Da,' he confessed. ‘I hadn't seen Cissy for months until this leave, and then only fleetingly because of her responsibilities with the WAAF. As for my boys, and Anne and wee Rose Margaret . . .' He gave a deep sigh. ‘Telephone calls and letters are all very well, but there are times when I just want to see them and hold them and get to be an intrinsic part of their lives again. They're all growing up without me, Da, and 'tis a terrible, painful thing to be a stranger to your children.'

Ron gripped his son's shoulder in sympathy. ‘To be sure 'tis a sacrifice we must all bear until this war is won,' he replied. ‘Try and take comfort from the fact that you're not alone in this.'

‘I know my Peg feels the burden of it all,' Jim continued. ‘She doesn't say much and never complains, but I've seen her face after she's talked to everyone down in Somerset, and it's clear she's suffering.' He ruffled his short black hair in frustration. ‘If only she'd take Daisy down there. At least then they'd both be safer and could be with the others again. But she won't hear of it.'

‘She'll not abandon Cordelia and the girls to my dubious care,' Ron replied as he pulled his pipe and tobacco from his coat pocket. ‘Our Peg has a deep sense of duty, and as long as she knows the others are safe in Somerset, she'll keep the home fires burning here.'

‘I still can't believe she went through the bomb blast and the operation without saying a word to me,' said Jim as they started walking again. ‘It came as a shock, I can tell you. But she's a tough little body, is my Peg,' he added with affectionate pride, ‘and if she can weather that, she can weather pretty much anything.'

Ron knew how adept Peggy was at hiding her true feelings, for he'd witnessed the struggle she'd had to keep the tears at bay when everything had got too much for her, and she'd felt the absence of her family most keenly. And he'd overheard her muffled sobs late into the night when the rest of the house was sleeping. But he made no comment. Peggy wouldn't thank him for telling Jim how things really were at Beach View, and he knew she wanted his enforced departure to go smoothly and without any worries for her or the rest of the family he was leaving behind.

‘At least Cissy seems to have forgotten her daft ideas about going on the stage, and is turning into a sensible young woman,' said Jim as they strode through the wiry grass and skirted round clumps of gorse and rabbit scrapings. ‘I like her young American, too. He seems a sensible, down-to-earth sort – which is just what she needs.'

‘Aye, he's a fine chap so he is,' agreed Ron, ‘and Martin speaks very highly of him. We can only pray he doesn't suffer the same fate as so many of his fellow flyers. The RAF has suffered too many losses, and with every influx of new recruits they seem to be getting younger and younger, their odds of survival shortened by their lack of proper training and experience.'

‘To be sure, these are dangerous times, and it doesn't bear thinking too deeply about any of it.' Jim nudged Daisy's bottom to a more comfortable position on his arm as she slept against his shoulder. ‘But I am thinking young Rita is in the same boat as Cissy with her boy Matthew. At least, if things do go wrong, the girls will have each other to lean on. After all,' he continued, ‘they've known each other since they were babies.'

‘We can only pray it never comes to that,' said Ron.

They walked on for a while in companionable silence. Daisy was still asleep and a seemingly tireless Harvey continued to hare about chasing intriguing scents. Ron lit his pipe and puffed on it contentedly, enjoying these precious moments with his son even though the dark clouds of an uncertain future overshadowed them.

‘I am going to miss all this,' sighed Jim as he stopped to look around him at the glittering sea, the soft folds of the hills and the sprawling farmland down in the valley beyond the Cliffe estate. ‘It's a perfect English autumn day, with the sun and the crisp wind that makes a man feel alive.'

Ron felt a pang of sorrow at the thought that this boy of his would soon be far from these familiar and beloved hills of home. ‘Aye, 'tis that,' he said softly. ‘Take a good deep breath of that air, son. There's nothing like it anywhere else in the world.'

They stood there for a moment, enjoying the quiet beauty as gulls hovered above the clifftops, their white wings gilded by the sun, and the wind ruffled the grass. Then they went on walking, each with their own thoughts, but comfortable in their close companionship.

They were soon approaching the shattered remains of a hillside farmhouse which the army had used for target practice and then abandoned. They crunched over the broken bricks and charred beams and headed for the far wall which would shelter them from the wind.

‘I know you've made light of army life in front of Peggy and the rest,' Ron said as he sat down on a fallen roof beam and rested his back against the crumbling wall. ‘But how are you really finding it?'

Jim carefully eased the straps of the bag from over his shoulders and gently placed the sleeping Daisy, still in the bag, on a sheltered tuft of grass. He adjusted the knitted hat over her ears, tucked her mittened hands inside the cocooning shawl, and covered her wool-clad legs with his thick scarf. Once he'd settled her to his satisfaction, he sat down next to his father on the rotting beam and dug out a packet of cigarettes from his coat pocket.

‘The army hasn't changed much since the last time I had the misfortune to be in it,' he replied once he'd lit his cigarette. ‘We might have more modern machinery and better uniforms, but sergeants still shout, officers still strut about with their swagger sticks and their toffee-nosed voices. Reveille is still before dawn, and there's the same amount of tedious marching and rifle drill. The accommodation at the barracks is basic, but the food's all right, and the other men enjoy a good craic, so it's not all bad.'

Ron regarded his son, knowing that although his words were lightly spoken, there remained much that was unsaid. ‘It will be different in India,' he said round his pipe stem, as a panting Harvey flopped at their feet.

‘Aye, it will that.' Jim smoked his cigarette, his gaze settling on the fields and hamlets far down in the valley as he idly stroked Harvey's head. ‘We've had the lectures about the heat and humidity and the thousand and one stinging, biting things that can either kill you or give you something nasty.' He grimaced. ‘We've also had the lecture about not fraternising with the local women, and taking precautions against the clap – but then that's the same no matter where you're being sent.'

Ron knew his son liked women, but he was fairly certain that, since his marriage to Peggy, he'd never gone any further than mild flirtation – however, this posting would take him to exotic ports and he'd be away for months, if not years, and a man could only stay celibate for so long. ‘Keep it in your trousers, son. That's my advice.'

Jim grinned as he looked at his father. ‘I've had it on good authority that the army puts some heavy-duty stuff in the tea on all foreign postings, so even if I wanted to, I doubt I'd be able to manage it.'

Ron grinned back. ‘Aye, I remember that in the first shout. Powerful stuff, to be sure, and it stayed in the system long enough to put a damper on home leave and upset the wife.'

Jim rolled his eyes, and then his expression became serious. ‘I've been tempted, Da,' he confessed. ‘Women like a man in uniform, and I'm not beyond enjoying a bit of flattery. But that's as far as it goes. I love and respect Peggy too much to cheat on her.'

‘I'm glad to hear it,' rumbled Ron. ‘You've got a good woman there, and she loves the bones of you. If you hurt her, you'll have me to contend with.'

Jim chuckled as his gaze flickered over his father's broad chest and large hands. ‘To be sure, Da, I'll not want to be tangling with you – or Peggy. I don't know which of you scares the bejesus out of me more.'

Ron smiled. He was flattered that his son still saw him as a force to be reckoned with – even though he'd rarely raised a hand against him or his brother Frank when they were growing up.

Jim finished his smoke and ground it out beneath his boot heel. ‘But what about you, Da? Mam's been gone for years now, and you must get lonely down in that basement with just Harvey and the ferrets for company. I'd have thought that by now you'd have moved into the comfort of the Anchor with Rosie. How come you two haven't tied the knot?'

Ron puffed on his pipe as he wondered if he should reveal Rosie's closely guarded secret. Then he decided it wouldn't hurt, for Jim was leaving in a few hours, and within two days he'd be sailing from Liverpool to the Far East. ‘There are reasons, son,' he began. ‘But what I'm about to tell you is known only by a very few, and I'd like it to stay that way.'

Jim raised his eyebrows. ‘You're being very mysterious, Da.' He smiled. ‘Let me guess; the lovely Rosie has a shady and rather wicked past.'

Ron shook his head. ‘She has a past, certainly, but it's far from something to be ashamed of. In fact it's all rather tragic.'

As Jim's smile faded, he told him about Rosie's husband, and how his family had shunned her since she'd moved down to Cliffehaven and made a new life for herself.

Jim gave a low whistle. ‘Well, she certainly kept that quiet. I'd never have guessed,' he murmured. ‘She's always so bright and cheerful.'

‘Aye, she hides it well, I'll give her that,' agreed Ron. ‘But her greatest sadness is that she never had children. She'd have made a wonderful mother,' he added wistfully.

‘It's probably why she spoils Monty, and lets him sleep on her bed,' said Jim. ‘To be sure that pup rules the roost.'

Harvey's ears pricked at the sound of his offspring's name and he wagged his tail.

‘Aye,' Ron replied, ‘she said only the other day that she thinks of him as her substitute baby, and can't help but spoil him.' He grinned. ‘She's in for a nasty shock when he reaches his full size. He's already galloping about like an unbroken colt, and is proving as wilful and disobedient as this old rogue.'

He ruffled Harvey's ears and then shivered as the cold finally made itself felt in his bones. ‘We'd better be getting back. Peggy will never forgive either of us if we spend too much of your last day away from her.'

Daisy was beginning to grizzle, so Jim strapped her back against his chest and then softly kissed her cheek. ‘She's getting cold too, despite being wrapped up like an Eskimo,' he said as he dug into his pocket and fished out a rusk to keep her occupied.

Ron's joints creaked stiffly as he got to his feet, and he felt the twinge of pain in his lower back as the fragment of shrapnel caught him out. Everyone might find his affliction funny and enjoy his tall stories about how he'd been wounded – some even doubted the metal was there at all – but the reality of it was no laughing matter, especially when the cold and damp got to it.

‘Are you all right, Da?' Jim's concern showed in his face.

‘Aye, I'm fine,' he replied gruffly.

‘You can't fool me with your blarney, Da,' Jim said solemnly. ‘You're obviously in some pain.'

Ron glared at him from beneath his brows. ‘I said I'm all right,' he growled.

Jim continued as if he hadn't spoken. ‘Why the divil don't you go to the doctor and see if they can get that shrapnel out? Things have changed radically since 1918, and I'm sure . . .'

‘I'll not be having some quack digging about down there and possibly turning me into a bloody cripple,' Ron retorted. ‘It's fine where it is, so I'll thank you to stop going on about it.'

Jim heaved a sigh. ‘If you say so, Da.'

‘Aye, I do, so let that be an end to it.' Ron checked the ferrets were snug and asleep in his coat pocket and stomped out of the lee of the ruins and into the brisk wind that came up from the sea. Heading for home, he kept up a steady, fast pace, determined to ignore the pain in his back and show his son that he had nothing at all to worry about.

They didn't speak much as they walked, and as they reached the path which eventually led down to the twitten that ran between the terraced houses, Harvey galloped off, no doubt in eager anticipation of the biscuit and saucer of tea Peggy always gave him after his morning exercise.

Ron grinned. ‘He's a man after me own heart,' he said fondly. ‘To be sure I'm looking forward to a nice cup of tea meself.' He was about to follow Harvey when Jim grasped his arm.

‘Da. Da, wait a minute. There's something I need to say before we get home.'

Ron regarded him with sharp concern. ‘What is it, son?'

‘Da, I know I've put a brave face on things for Peggy's sake,' Jim said hurriedly, ‘but the fact is . . .' He swallowed and couldn't meet his father's eyes. ‘The fact is . . .'

‘The fact is you're frightened,' said Ron with infinite tenderness. ‘We all are, my boy. And if you weren't, I'd be more worried about you than ever. Lack of fear makes men careless.'

‘It's not for meself – not really.' Jim stumbled over the words. ‘Of course I'm scared about being so far from home in a strange place, but it's Peg and the wains I'm really frightened for.' He gripped Ron's sturdy shoulder, his dark eyes pleading. ‘You will look after them for me, won't you, Da?'

Ron blinked away the prick of tears and grasped Jim's hands. ‘I will guard them with my life,' he promised gruffly. He reached up and placed his horny hand against the soft, freshly shaved skin of his beloved son's face. ‘God go with you, Jim, my precious boy.'