Whisper and Rise (17 page)

Darian shifted in the dirt, announcing that I was partly right. When I turned to look again, he straightened and stared absently at the flames, obviously trying to avoid my gaze.

I wanted to ask what they had discussed, but doubted I’d get a straight answer from either of them. Father removed his pipe and lit it with the end of a small branch he rescued from the fire. After a long inhale, he smothered us with the sweet aroma of his smoke.

We stared at the flames, each of us waiting for the moment to pass, or for someone else to speak. The unspoken words said what all of us must have been thinking. We knew we needed one another.

In the silence, each lapping flame crashed against the still air, and every time someone shifted in the dirt, the scraping would echo and amplify the hesitation. Around us, the cave cried tiny drops of water.

“I’ve endured too much.” Father finally said, ended the torture of the moment. “The work won’t lessen if I waste the day here.” He rolled to his knees and stood. After dusting his pants and tunic, he hovered over me and stared. “Remember what I told you,” he said, keeping the same expression. “Don’t come home until the danger has passed.”

I swallowed again. “How will I know when that is?” I asked. The echo of my words was sharp and angled.

My father’s face changed and aged as I watched him. “One of us will see bloodshed before then,” he answered. “I don’t think there’s any way of escaping that.” With a turn that seemed to last forever, he faced away from me and walked out the gate. Blending with the creaks of the iron, his voice echoed a final “I love you.”

The cave offered safety, but it also presented a host of new dilemmas. Every whisper of wind through the trees, every disrupted branch, or stirring outside sent Darian or me hurrying toward the gate to investigate. Day or night, our reactions were the same. If someone were to find us there, we had no recourse but to flee into the darkness.

Darian began moving better, although I could tell he wasn’t ready to journey up the mountain. He took walks with me to gather herbs and dawnberries, but simple things such as stomping wood into pieces with his feet or climbing a tree for more andelin leaves made him silent. He would wince and cover his mouth to hide the pain, but I knew captivity had damaged him.

The sun left long shadows on the forest that called for me to entertain them to dance. I was restless. Hiding from an unseen enemy felt as oppressing as the small smokehouse in Morgan, and the mossy walls of our cave seemed to squeeze closer as the days and nights continued. I longed to ride, and the horse Father had brought for us was restless confined beneath the trees all day. I didn’t like it either. While she made angry grunts and chewed at her rope, I wished there was a way for us to roam together. Daylight was dangerous, and nights were full of preying animals.

I managed to let her inside the gate one evening, though the confines were cramped. Earlier that same day, I had discovered paw prints in the mud—most likely made by wolves. Darian’s constant shifting throughout the night echoed eerily off the cave walls, forcing me to wake as often as he did.

Still tired from a lack of sleep, I resigned myself to a short night ride to ease my mind. The air was peaceful outside the cave and we hadn’t encountered trouble with any creature. Although I was still worried about Gwenn’s safety, I decided to continue riding each night, while searching for any sign of trouble in the process. Our habit became a welcome arrangement; Darian would watch the gate and the forest by day, allowing me to sleep, while I spent much of the nights wandering my land and exploring its secret beauty. I was slowly adjusting to the dark and noticed the details of everything around.

I started to see the differences in plants, trees, and even noticed when a stone had been disturbed. I knew when the wolves had returned, and even followed their trail one evening, walking bravely with the knife my father had left. Compared to the certain death I would face if men caught me, the wolves became a curious oddity, rather than a threat to my safety. Still, I knew to keep a safe distance and Gwenn made certain that I did. Sight became secondary in the dark. I felt my way along small trails back to and beyond the meadow. I stopped staying at the cave—I could hear if there was trouble—and often wandered to the lake and its mystery.

Gwenn enjoyed the lake, too. Perhaps it reminded her of the horse meadow back home. I wished I could take her there, just once, so she could run like I knew she wanted. I felt the same. I was learning that the captivity of fear was no different from the bonds of men. I didn’t like living this way. Darian must have sensed my angst.

“We can go now,” he would tell me each day, “I’m feeling better. Let’s find the scrolls. Then I can find my key and go home.”

“Not yet,” I kept answering, after checking his wound. If we don’t let this heal right, you may never use this arm again. I didn’t like my deceit, but wasn’t going to let him try to leave. I needed him, and if father was right, we couldn’t just walk into Aisling to find the scrolls. I also didn’t have a plan.

One night, after digging for mushrooms near the rotted stump of an oak tree, I found milderon, the main ingredient for Liquid Night, a magnificent faerie potion that offered energy. Darian was healing, though not fast enough. If I could brew the potion, I had a chance to end the despair of our dull routine. Darian lifted his head as soon as I started brewing.

“What is that?” he asked. “It smells good.”

“We call it Liquid Night,” I told him. “It should complete your healing.” I knelt by him and rubbed his forehead. “Get some more rest. It’s still early.”

Darian smiled; I could tell my touch was soothing him. “What’s in it?”

“Nature,” I said. “Go to sleep. It’s a faerie secret.”

“Faerie?” Darian sat up as if he’d been awake all along. “That’s what the men called you.”

“I know.”

“What does it mean? Are you some sort of creature?”

“This needs to cook all night,” I told him, avoiding the question. “Go to sleep. I’ll tell you at dawn.”

“Are you a—faerie?”

“No. Please go to sleep.”

Darian leaned over the kettle and watched the thin vapor rise. “Is it magic?” he asked.

“It’s nature,” I repeated. “Nothing more.”

Darian stared at me, his eyes penetrating and searching. I wanted to look away, but I caught myself staring back. My heart skipped and my fingers started to tingle. Whatever he was, wherever he had come from, he was so captivating that I wanted to know more. I needed to.

“I was a faerie,” I admitted. “Before you came.”

He wasn’t fair. Darian reached toward me and lifted a strand of hair from my face. “The fire brings out the color in your hair.”

Sean had said those words to me. They were his words. They were words I loved, words that could only come from his voice—until now. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I turned away from Darian before he could see. Walking to the wall of the cave where our meager supplies were stored, I moved them back and forth on the pretense of tidying them up.

“What did I do?” asked Darian. He didn’t approach me, but I felt him watching, probing.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Everything was spinning. The cave, the flames, the memories of Sean.

“Is it about the faeries? I’m sorry.”

“It’s not about the Fae!” My sharp words filled the cavern, echoing through the darkness. I turned just enough to flash Darian a glare. “You don’t belong here. I was happy before. Then you—” the tears fell and I let them. “—you showed up with your friendly voice and your lies.” I grabbed a small rock and threw it against the wall. I missed the man, but he ducked anyway.

Without speaking, Darian chose a burning branch from the fire and wandered toward the depths of the cave.

“Where are you going?” I yelled. I wasn’t done with him.

Something echoed back to me that I didn’t understand.

“Come here! You can’t go back there.” A sob choked my breath, leaving me with only a hoarse whisper. “It’s my cave.” I glared at the fire, cursing it with spite for the trouble it had caused. The small kettle shifted. I dared myself to kick it over, but I couldn’t. Liquid Night was precious; even in my rage, I wouldn’t destroy it.

While my chest heaved in anger, I turned to watch the cave. He wasn’t coming back. The darkness was damp, and empty.

“Darian?”

No answer.

This had to stop. The man brought out the worst in me.
How did he do that?
I hated him, but I also needed him. He was my hope for redemption—my only chance.

“Who are you?” I yelled with all the strength I could muster and stood at the edge of shadow trying to decide if I should follow him.

The gate on the other side of the fire shifted.

“Darian?” He must have gone deep
into
the cave.

No sound.

I dashed toward my pile of supplies and fumbled in the sack, eventually retrieving the knife Father had given me. Then I rushed to the opposite edge of our cavern and peered toward the night. Nothing moved. I couldn’t see well—the light from the flames still danced in my eyes when I closed them—but the gate stood solid. Beyond it, past the cave entrance, the forest lay still.

Stepping backward while watching the darkness, I moved away, wondering if my shadow had chased an intruder. I crouched low, trying my best to appear invisible in the light. I cursed my own thought. Waiting. Waiting. I leapt toward the gate and probed the air with the steel blade.

Nothing.

It was useless. In my anger I had imagined a threat when there was nothing. Shaking my head, I returned to the fire. If there were someone, or something, what chance would I have? I wasn’t a warrior. I had only wrestled Leila and Nia, and they beat me most of the time. The only person I had ever injured was…Darian. I remembered the trap.

I didn’t wait. I dashed deep into the cave, yelling as I ran. “Darian!” The darkness enveloped me, but I could still see enough. Tiny details that I had learned over the last several days allowed me to run without seeing where I was. That ended quickly. I found myself in complete black. I scraped the walls to my side and the ceiling above me. It would be one bad thing to bump an elbow, and a worse thing to bang my head.

“Darian?” I kept moving forward.

Somewhere ahead of me was a trap, a hole that I wouldn’t be able to escape if I were to fall. I started taking nervous steps, testing the floor with the toes of my sandals before firmly putting any weight down.
What was I doing?
If he had fallen, I couldn’t help him; I couldn’t even see. I was helpless, but my only options were to keep moving or quit, at least long enough to go back to the fire and fashion a makeshift torch.

“Rhiannon?”

“Yes, I’m here.” I answered him before thinking. What
was
I thinking? I wanted to crouch and hide, but I knew it wouldn’t work. Instead, I stood and waited until the light found me.

“Have you seen it back here?” he asked. “This place is amazing.”

I nodded. I wasn’t upset; I wasn’t afraid; I was grateful. Grateful that he hadn’t disappeared. Grateful that I wasn’t alone. “There’s a trap,” I told him. “You need to be careful.”

“I saw it.” Darian gestured with the branch; its flames had lowered to a silent orange and red glow, but it still served a purpose. He stared at me; I saw the details of his nose, his cheeks, and his chin. His dark hair curled past his eyes and over his ears. “Are you going to throw something again?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“You still hate me, don’t you?”

I nodded. “You don’t understand what I’ve been through.”

He lowered his face and grimaced. “You were right. I don’t belong here.” He leaned against the wall of the cave and slid to the floor. Then he propped the glowing branch next to him, changing the angle of the shadows around us. “I would have left a long time ago…if I could.”

I knew what he wanted, but wasn’t allowing myself to be swayed. I still needed him. “Are you ready to help me?” I asked. “Once we find the scrolls, I can help you find your way home.”

“I know the way. I just can’t get there.”

I waited for him to continue, curious how a person can know their way home, but cannot get there without a crystal. Instead of answering Darian stared at the burning end of his branch. I watched his eyes and then turned to watch the glow and its contrast against the darkness.

“May I hold that a moment?” I asked. Grabbing the branch from his hands, I lifted it in front of me and used the flame to draw. I waved it in a giant arcing circle and made a smaller one at its center. “That’s home,” I said as the image faded. “The Fae—the faeries call it baille, the symbol for home.”

“You
are
a faerie.”

“No, I’m not anymore. Faeries are supposed to be perfect. I was. My life was.” I had to pause; I had said too much already. “Then Sean disappeared.” I watched and waited for the next question, wondering how much he understood. How could he? No one knew exactly.

Darian watched the tiny flames dance on the branch between us. He didn’t speak, but looked at me quizzically. The confusion on his face convinced me that he wasn’t aware of what had happened. I continued my tale.

“Word came that Sean was being held by men from Morgan. They demanded a ransom for his life. I tried to be strong. I asked for help. There’s only so much trying and asking will do. So, I took action. I took the Fae Scrolls,” I said, gasping as my voice whispered of the cave walls. “I stole them from the Faerie Temple so that I could save my fiancé—so that I could save Sean.”

“That’s why you’re not a faerie anymore?” Sean stopped staring at the flames. “How were you caught?”

I closed my eyes. Even in the dark I wanted to hide. “I admitted to the other faeries that I took them.” I wanted to stop, but Darian watched me with such curiosity that I felt like telling him everything I had done. He wasn’t judging me. At least, it felt like he wasn’t. He had the same look as Sam, the boy in DarMattey. “When Sean died, I was furious. Everything I had wanted to save was gone. Once I heard the Elders had caught you, something came over me. I was nothing like I was supposed to be.” I stared back at Darian. “I was cruel to you. I’m sorry.”

Darian spoke again. “I still don’t understand. How does this involve me? I never did anything. You took the scrolls that everyone wants.”

“I took them from the temple,” I said. My voice shook. “Then I gave them for ransom. They were stolen again before it could be paid.”

Darian leapt to his feet and winced as his head struck the ceiling near the wall. He cursed something I didn’t understand.

“I didn’t do this,” I said. The tears started again, but I fought them away. “When the ransom wasn’t paid, Sean’s captors killed him.”