Whispers in Autumn (23 page)

Afterward I burrow under the heavy covers in my bed, hoping to warm up, and thumb through Lucas’s booklet of words again. I toss it aside after a while and stare up at the ceiling, willing whatever it is about the Archivist to the forefront. She’s not from my memory dreams, though the caring look in her eyes mirrors the feelings they give me. Almost like she loves me.

That’s it
.

She reminds me of Ko when he popped out of my necklace.

The minute I think it, I know it’s the truth. Her short stature, her slightly pointed ears, the nuances that make her feel Other, but not totally, just as Ko described himself. In person it’s easier to see what he means. It’s in their eyes more than anything. The way they seem to care for me, want to help me, maybe even love me.

Ko said there are those who know about my past. Could he mean her?

My room constricts, too small and too far from Lucas. I itch from the inside out with the need to speak with him. We didn’t plan to use the cup device tonight so it’ll have to wait until our free hour tomorrow morning.

Three days. She said she’ll only be at the collection center three more days.

***

Lucas is waiting for me, leaning against the fence and smiling, when I fly down the front steps the next morning. For a second, I wish things were simple. That we
were
courting. That I could run out, give him a hug, and we would go meet our friends for an hour.

Instead I stop a couple of feet away. “We need to talk.”

“Let’s go for a walk.”

It’s the best way to talk out in the open, where Deshi or the Wardens can’t sneak up on us. We head in the direction of the park. “I figured out what bothers me about that woman.”

Lucas takes my gloved hand. “I knew you would.”

“She’s like Ko.”

When the words hit his ears he stumbles a bit but keeps walking.

Lucas’s eyes are as wide as the full moon, and about as bright with wonder. “You know, now that you say that, she does resemble him. I caught her eye as I handed off your box and her eyes were
nice
.”

“I think she was trying to tell me something yesterday. When we walked together to open the gate she looked at me and said something about the collection center being an hour’s walk into the afternoon sun.”

“So?”

“Then she made it a point to tell us how long she’ll be there…” I trail off, and wait for him to get it.

“She’s told us how to find her.”

“I think so, too.”

“In that message, Ko said if we’re brave we’ll be able to find people who have answers about us. We have to go to that collection center while she’s still here.” Lucas’s voice trembles with excitement.

Though I’m proud of my grudging respect for the animals living in the Wilds, traipsing through it, just the two of us, still frightens me. I’d thought there would be time to enter that space gradually, a few minutes at a time.

“I know you’re worried about the animals, Althea. But this could be our one chance to find out who we are. The Others lied about Fils. They lied about what happened to Mrs. Morgan. Maybe they’re lying about the animals, too.”

“They are.” My voice is so quiet I have to repeat myself. “They are. And I know how we can get across the boundary. I climbed it a few weeks ago, the morning after I Broke Mrs. Morgan.”

A sense of loss dribbles into my heart at giving up my stolen moments, but Lucas needs to know. He does stumble this time and comes to a stop. His eyes are huge and a ridiculous, pride-filled grin lights up his handsome face. “I can’t believe it. Why do you act like such a fraidycat sometimes, you little rebel?”

My face flushes, but a matching grin answers his. “I’m not a rebel, it was a bad morning and I did it without thinking. I needed to be somewhere the Others weren’t.”

“So, they are lying, then, about the animals? Nothing bad happened to you?”

“No, not then. I only saw birds and squirrels. I’m not sure they’re lying, not totally. I mean, the animals mostly go about their business, but they have to eat, right?”

He shrugs it off. “Sure. Still, this is great news! So we’re going, then?”

Though I’m not as gung ho as Lucas, not much of a life awaits me here, inside the boundary. Once the Wardens get me alone in a room it will end anyway. I have no illusions about faking my way through the interview the way I did the refreshing. Those Others weren’t paying attention, and didn’t have any reason to double-check anything I said or did.

The thought of my looming interview session breaks my forehead out in a sweat. I thought the ordeal with Mrs. Morgan and daring to walk alone in the forest would lessen my fear, but instead it’s had the opposite effect. The sun disappears behind a cloud and a shiver zips over me, bumps standing up along my covered arms.

With a last glance at Lucas, I make up my mind. “Let’s start searching for the spot I crossed right now.”

Excitement joins my trepidation, widens the smile on my face. I can’t wait to be back in that untouched world, the one place that makes me feel normal, at peace.

Some luck finds us, and Deshi doesn’t materialize. I know the general area where I breached the boundary, but it might have been fixed, so Lucas designs a way to test the whole thing. We both gather handfuls of sticks and stroll close to the edge, tossing pieces in front of us, off to the side, and when the cameras are far away, into the fence to see if they burn. So far they all have, with a sizzle of electricity and a bright light reducing the wood to a smoldering pile of ash. Like the bird. He doesn’t stop tossing sticks or look over at me as we talk.

We’ve been avoiding any topic that could sound suspicious if—when—we run into Deshi. It’s infuriating, but the challenge of coming up with topics that sound inane but aren’t is invigorating, too.

“Tell me about Intermediate Cell.” Those are the three years I spent in Portland, except for the missing summers, of course. I want to know if he stayed still as well.

His cheeks color, though whether or not the question lowers his body temperature I can’t say. It’s too cold outside now to tell. He clears his throat and looks at me. “I spent them here. All of them.”

It stuns me a little, to know he spent those three years in Danbury. Maybe that’s why the kids listen to him more than me. They know him. At least, they used to.

“You?”

“In Portland. Did you make friends here?”

“Yes. A few.”

The uncomfortable air around him thickens, and his rosy cheeks pluck at my curiosity. “Who?” I ask.

“Leah was my best friend.” The words slide out in a whisper and regret collects in the creases around his mouth. Pieces of my heart war with one another, half of them broken for his loss of Leah, in more ways than one. The rest relieved she’s no longer close to Lucas. If he had never traveled again, perhaps the two of them would be courting. I hate that idea.

We keep walking, tossing sticks in between our muted footsteps. The leaves smothering the ground are a dirty, mushy blanket atop the dying grass.
Squish. Squish. Squish. Zap
!

While trying to decide on another seemingly innocuous topic, I remember I’ve still never told Lucas how my necklace looks like the Wardens’ scars. I’m scared he’ll see what I see—another link between us and the Others. Then again, we’re never going to learn anything if we’re too scared to see the truth.
Squish. Squish. Squish. Zap
!

“Lucas, have you ever noticed the raised red marks on the Others’ necks, below their left ears?”

He gives me an odd look. “No. I’ve never looked at them for more than a second.”

Squish. Squish. Squish. Zap
! “Oh. Yeah, I hadn’t either until the Gathering. Then, while they were trying to refresh me I got a pretty good look.”

“And?”

I chew on the tip of my index finger. “And the scar is shaped like my necklace. A star with only four points.”

“What do you think it means?”

Squish. Squish. Squish. Tink
!

We stop short at the new sound, conversation forgotten as we stare like idiots at the intact stick lying beneath the fence.

Lucas throws another.
Tink
!

This time we’re watching and nothing happens. The small, brittle piece of wood hits the metal and bounces off, landing on a bed of leaves near the first stick. I run my eyes along the area, searching for cameras while pretending to peer at the clouds. The nearest one on the fence is about thirty yards from where we stand, and pointed straight inward. We’re not in its line of sight.

Hesitant but growing bolder with each step, Lucas approaches the boundary. He puts out a hand, ready to touch it where the sticks did. I suck in a breath, loud enough to be heard, but he doesn’t pay any attention. Part of me wants to stop him, but we have to get out. Even though I touched the fence a couple of weeks ago, my short fingernails dig into my palms as Lucas’s fingers creep closer and closer to the entwined metal, finally wrapping around the section in front of him.

He doesn’t disintegrate. My breath blows out in a huge gush of relief. Lucas backs up a little and stares at the boundary, surprised.

“The Ko woman said it takes an hour to get to the collection center. We’ll have to go soon.”

“Tonight, Althea. We only have two more days. I’ll meet you on the back porch at eleven.”

“Let’s go back. It’s cold.”

Lucas grins, snatching my hand and rubbing it between his. As though that will warm me up. “You could start a fire. Have you been practicing?”

“No, I haven’t had the chance.” I change the subject. “We should both bring a flashlight tonight.”

We stumble on Deshi as we pass the playground equipment near the front of the park. The look on his face irritates me more than usual; he’s smirking as though he’s pleased with himself. It reminds me of the night he hurt the young Other, and I’m frightened to know what’s brought it on this morning. The way he shows up unexpectedly has always put me on edge, worries me he’s eavesdropping. Whether he’s like us, or like the Others, Lucas is right—he’s not trustworthy.

“Hey, guys, what’s going on?”

Lucas answers in a cool, collected voice, slipping an arm around my back. “Nothing, really. Taking a walk, that’s all.”

Deshi snorts, glancing pointedly at my fingers tucked inside my sleeves. His sideways remarks about my comfort level in the cold make me think he knows something. Perhaps he’s trying to figure out if
we’re
like
him
.

“Can I walk a little ways with you?”

It’s not as though we have a choice, so the three of us step out onto the sidewalk. The silence isn’t comfortable with Deshi on my left; in fact, it presses down from all directions and deadens my limbs more than the cold.

We make it a few blocks before Deshi smiles wider. “So, you guys have interviews soon, huh? Are you nervous?”

I smile back, and slip into my best blank gaze and lifeless tone of voice even though sweat heats my body under my clothes. “No, why would we be?”

Deshi stops walking; we’ve reached our street. “No reason. It’s exciting is all. It’s going to be a day you’ll never forget.”

CHAPTER 22.

The Warden passes under the streetlight and I swear he looks right at me in my window seat before he keeps walking.

Lucas waits out back like he promised. I step out onto the porch, tugging my coat tight around me as the bitter wind whips down the block and blows my hair around my face. Pulling it up into a ponytail would’ve taken less than a minute. Now it’s going to drive me banana balls all night.

Leaving it down is almost worth it when Lucas lights up, grabbing my hand. “You look pretty. I can smell the jasmine better when your hair is down. The breeze blows it around, and…” He trails off, embarrassed or out of words, it’s hard to tell which.

I rescue him. “Breeze? Feels more like a gale.”

“Really?” He lifts his face into the bracing wind. “I think it feels nice.”

Patrolling Wardens and bright lights make using the streets hazardous, so we stick to backyards until we dart through the park entrance. Once we leave the playground there are no lights, and stifling darkness presses in. I want to turn on my flashlight, but Lucas stays my hand.

“Not yet. Not until we get out.”

My eyes adjust within a few minutes. We make our way to the dead section of the fence in good time. Lucas marked it earlier with a small strip of fabric torn from the inside of my coat. He tests the spot again and we get the same nonreaction.

Lucas turns, lifting an eyebrow. His eyes sparkle, teasing me. My heart skips a couple of beats and I think I manage a smile back, but who knows? His lips move and I try to focus on his words.

“You want to go first?”

“You go ahead. I’ve done it.”

“Show-off.”

Lucas tosses his flashlight and backpack over, looking suspiciously like he might be enjoying this little adventure. His strong hands grip the metal and nothing happens. Wedging a toe in between the wires, he hoists his full weight onto the fence and starts to climb. I chew on a finger, frightened the Wardens or Deshi are going to stumble upon us at any moment. Lucas’s tree-climbing experience comes in handy as he ascends the twenty feet or so with graceful speed.