Whispers of Love (22 page)

‘Probably, since we can see at least half of Liverpool from here,' Christabel laughed. ‘Look, I can see the cathedral.'

‘I can see the Liver Birds perched on top of the Liver Building. Do you think that one day they might fly away?' Kay giggled.

‘Let's hope not, otherwise we wouldn't know when we were in Liverpool and, judging by the time on the clock face up there, we really shouldn't be in Liverpool now but back home in Rolleston Drive; we still have a long bus ride before we're there.'

They were late and although it was only by a few minutes, Violet was very annoyed.

‘What's the point of me cooking you a proper meal when you don't bother to come home in time?' she grumbled.

‘Why all the fuss? You were only just about to dish up,' Lewis said frowning.

‘That's not the point. I am trying to teach Kay punctuality, but how can I do that if no one backs me up?'

‘I'm sorry. It's my fault. I rather lost track of time,' Christabel apologised. ‘We're here now, though, and I must say your casserole smells delicious, Violet.'

‘Aunt Chrissy was showing me places she knew in Liverpool,' Kay piped up. ‘You know, Dad, the house where you all grew up and where Granpy and Granny Montgomery lived,' she went on, almost choking on her mouthful of hot food as she tried to eat and talk. ‘After that we were going to see where Aunt Chrissy lived after she left school, somewhere called Wilcock Court and—'

‘Kay, stop talking with your mouth full,' Violet said sharply. ‘I've told you before about doing that; you're old enough to know better. It's high time you learned some manners.'

‘Sorry.' Kay looked crestfallen, hunching her shoulders as she stared down at her plate.

‘For heaven's sake, sit up straight,' Violet admonished. ‘I won't let you go out with your aunt again if you are going to carry on in this fashion when you get home.'

The rest of the meal passed almost in silence. Lewis made one or two comments, saying how worried he was about the impending miners' strike and the effect it would have on Liverpool as well as the rest of the country if it actually took place.

‘It will probably affect the shipping lines pretty badly.'

‘There's no coal exported from Liverpool, so how can it make any difference to us?' Violet asked.

‘Exporting coal is the lifeblood of this country in so many ways,' Lewis stated. ‘Ships need coal to fuel their boilers and without coal, most of which comes from South Wales, shipping will be at a standstill.'

He expounded on his theory of what should be done to prevent the strike happening while they ate the jam roly-poly and custard that Violet had baked, but no one else said anything.

The moment they were finished Violet ordered Kay up to bed saying that if she had to slouch over the table as she'd done all through the meal, then it must mean she was tired and needed an early night.

Kay went without a word and didn't even say goodnight to any of them.

‘I'll help Christabel to clear up here and wash up, so you go and sit down and take it easy,' Lewis told Violet. ‘We'll make a pot of tea and bring it in when we've finished the dishes and we can all sit round the fire and drink it.'

‘You wash up! You've never offered to do that in your life before,' Violet said scathingly. ‘You wouldn't know where to begin.'

‘I'm sure that Christabel can tell me what I have to do.' Lewis smiled. ‘Go on, put your feet
up; you've cooked the meal, it's only fair that we clear up afterwards.'

‘Christabel is probably the one who needs to take it easy since she's been trailing around Liverpool with Kay ever since breakfast time this morning. Poor child, she looked quite worn out. She must be exhausted since she didn't even bother to argue when I told her to go off to bed,' she added.

‘I'm fine and I enjoyed my meal,' Christabel told her as she began stacking up the dirty plates. ‘Lewis is right, we should be the ones to do the dishes, so go and take it easy.'

The moment they had carried everything through to the kitchen, Lewis made sure that the door was shut before he turned to face Christabel. ‘What the hell were you thinking about, saying that you would take Kay to Wilcock Court? The very idea of taking her there sends shudders through me. What if old Maggie Nelson had still been living there? I'm sure she would have remembered you. What would you have said if she'd started asking questions about your baby?'

Before Christabel could answer, the door opened and Violet was standing there. It was obvious from her startled, wide-eyed look that she had overheard what he had said.

‘I thought I would come and see if you needed any help,' she muttered, looking from one to the other. ‘What baby were you talking about, and who was Maggie Nelson?'

‘Someone we knew when we were growing up,' Christabel said quickly.

‘Wilcock Court? That's near Scotland Road, isn't it? I'm surprised that you knew someone living in such a slummy part of Liverpool.'

‘It was a chap I met when I was in the Navy; his mother lived there,' Lewis muttered.

‘Christabel said it was someone you knew when you were growing up. So which was it?'

As Lewis opened his mouth to speak Violet clapped her hands over her ears. ‘Don't bother to invent any more lies,' she said bitterly. ‘I can work it out from what I overheard. All these years you've been lying to me, Lewis,' she said accusingly.

Lewis looked at her in bewilderment. ‘What in heaven's name are you talking about, Violet?'

‘As if you didn't know!' she gulped.

‘I don't know; I haven't the faintest idea what you are on about. What lies? I've never lied to you about anything.'

‘I heard what you said . . . about Maggie Nelson . . . about her knowing about the baby. I've had my suspicions, but I didn't know that she was in it as well,' she sobbed, pointing an accusing finger at Christabel.

‘Then perhaps you should calm down and listen. It's a simple enough explanation.'

‘I bet it is, but then the pair of you are liars. I never want to speak to either of you ever again.'

Lewis caught her by the arm. ‘Will you stop and listen to what we want to tell you, Violet?'

‘No, I won't!' She pulled her arm free. ‘Don't touch me! You'll have to sleep down on the sofa because you're never coming into my bed ever again. You can't use the spare room, because your sister is in there,' she added as she slammed the kitchen door.

‘For goodness' sake go after her, Lewis, and tell her the truth,' Christabel told him.

‘That will mean implicating you and telling her that it was your baby we were talking about.'

‘So be it. It doesn't mater, after all this time,
who
knows.'

‘It will mean explaining to her that you had it adopted at birth.'

‘So what does that matter now? After all, it's the truth.'

‘I don't know,' he shook his head from side to side, ‘she's far too overwrought at the moment to take any notice of what we say and, for the life of me, I can't understand what she is thinking right at this moment.'

‘Then go and talk to her and find out. It's obvious that she's dreadfully upset about something.'

Lewis began to walk out of the kitchen, then hesitated. ‘Perhaps it would be better to leave it until the morning, she might have calmed down by then and will listen to us and understand.'

Christabel didn't answer; it seemed pointless to do so. She finished tidying up in the kitchen then went upstairs herself. She found the bathroom door locked so she went into her bedroom, undressed, and put on her dressing gown.

 

Violet stood by Kay's bed for several minutes, looking down at the sleeping girl with tears in her eyes. She didn't need an explanation from Lewis, she'd had her suspicions for a long time. Even so, she knew it wasn't fair to keep punishing Kay because of her own unhappiness.

As she heard Christabel coming upstairs she quickly went into the bathroom and locked the door. Shaking, she waited for the house to quieten down so that she could go to her room. She wondered what she was going to do if, despite what she had said earlier, Lewis had already come up and was in bed. If he was in their room, she'd have to go and sleep downstairs because she couldn't bear to have him anywhere near her, not after what she had heard him and Christabel talking about.

She'd been right all along, it seemed, about Kay. She looked round the bathroom which was so full of their personal items. The toothbrush holders, Kay's and Lewis's, both streaked with toothpaste because they both always used too much and didn't rinse the brush properly afterwards.

As Christabel tried the bathroom door again
and called out asking if she was all right, Violet looked round desperately for something to use to defend herself with if Christabel managed to force the door open.

The only thing she could see was Lewis's cutthroat razor so she grabbed hold of it. When she heard Christabel walk away she was astonished to find that she'd been holding it so tightly that she'd drawn blood even though she hadn't felt a thing.

Suddenly it seemed like a sign. She wasn't superstitious but surely this was the answer. She couldn't go on living under such a cloud, not knowing if she really was Kay's mother or not. Worse still, if she wasn't, and Kay looked so much like Lewis, then who was her mother? It was all too much . . . but then she stopped herself. What if it was Kay who found her? She put the razor down, tended the small wound, and quietly left the bathroom.

Christabel and Lewis, like everyone who knew her, found it extremely difficult to come to terms with Violet's suicide. Lewis, possibly because he had been the one to find her a few days later, lying unconscious on the sofa with an empty pill box at her side. It was as though his mind was incapable of taking in what had happened. ‘I thought she was merely sleeping; taking advantage of the peace and quiet because you had taken Kay to the pictures,' he told Christabel.

He had made a cup of tea for them both and brought it through, intending to sit and have a quiet chat with his wife. When he'd touched her arm to let her know that her tea was on the table beside her, she hadn't responded.

He'd called a doctor but it was much too late to do anything. By the time Christabel and Kay returned from their outing, her body had been taken away. Lewis was told there would have to be an inquest which he found unbearably upsetting knowing what a reserved person Violet had been.

Her presence was everywhere, no matter where he looked or turned. At any moment he
expected to hear her voice calling out to him from another room. Or that she would suddenly walk into the room, dressed in her neat dark skirt and white blouse, anxious to see if there was anything they needed.

He kept telling Christabel that if only he had some idea what had led to her taking such a drastic step, he mightn't feel so angry, bewildered and confused.

When she'd said that perhaps her staying with them for so long had been something of an imposition, he'd dismissed such an idea as nonsense.

‘Violet always coped so well with domestic matters,' he insisted, ‘so I'm quite sure that didn't have anything to do with it.'

In the days that followed Violet's funeral Christabel watched uneasily as Lewis tried desperately to pull himself together, but it was not easy for him. His mind appeared to be a seething turmoil of doubts and unanswered questions which seemed to grow longer each day as he tried get on with life for Kay's sake.

When Christabel told him that she had to go to London for an interview, he became very annoyed.

‘I postponed it so that I could attend the funeral but if I don't go this week then I will be out of the running for the job I'm after,' she explained.

‘If only Violet had left a note to give me some idea of why she has done such a terrible thing
it might help me to understand. It breaks my heart to think that she was so unhappy and in such distress and that I didn't even notice. I loved her so much that I would have done anything in the world to make her happy,' he sighed.

Christabel watched with growing concern as he searched the entire house, hoping to find a message of some kind; looking in every drawer and cupboard, searching page by page through the books in the bookcase, and even those on the shelves in the kitchen. He even rummaged in all the wardrobes, going through Violet's clothes in case there was a note or letter in one of the pockets. He searched through the drawers where she kept her underwear and stockings in the hope he might find some clue. He hunted everywhere, but there was no note or letter or anything else to set his mind at rest.

As far as he was aware, they'd been idyllically happy. They had a nice house in a pleasant district of Wallasey. He had a good job, and he was generous with the housekeeping money. In addition, he'd given Violet a separate allowance so that she always had money of her own to buy clothes, or spend on treats or outings for herself and Kay whenever she wished to do so.

He knew Violet idolised Kay and he had no idea how she could bring herself to abandon the child when she was reaching an age when she needed her mother so much.

He accepted that having Christabel staying with them might have caused Violet a certain amount of stress over the past month. He was well aware that Christabel and Violet were not close.

For some reason they had never taken to each other. After their first meeting Lewis's sister had joked about him marrying such a plain-looking woman. ‘You always had such a reputation in your younger days for being something of a rake and you always had such beautiful girls on your arm,' she'd persisted.

They'd laughed about it, and agreed that it had all been part of growing up. He'd retaliated by reminding her of all the boyfriends she'd had in her stormy younger days, and yet she was still not married to any of them.