White Nights (22 page)

“You have much to fight for, Eirica. You have your life and the life of your children, and your futures. And there is also a certain young man who’s hurting every bit as much as you are. True love stands the test of many hard trials. You are denying both of yourselves this chance to work and solve your problems together.”

“Having my husband alive is more than just a trial. I can’t let James risk his life. And he would, Sofia.” Her voice begged the woman to understand.

Sofia hardened her own heart. “Seems to me it’s a question of faith and trust. Why would our God give James to you then return you to that man who doesn’t deserve his family? And what about trust? By sending that young man of yours away, you’re telling him that you don’t trust him to make his own decisions. Weren’t you the one all fired up when he tried to tell you what to do? Think about it. Think about James and think about your children, especially Alison. That little girl doesn’t understand why her mama sent him away. The children need him as much as he needs all of you.”

With that, Sofia walked off.

Sitting quietly, Eirica thought about Sofia’s words. She pulled the rock James had given her from her pocket and rubbed her fingers over the smooth surface.

Trust yourself.

She closed her eyes, tried to gather the scattered pieces of her heart together. She had to be strong. She had to fight for what she wanted. Did she want James, happiness, love and laughter, enough to fight for it—with her life if need be?

She sat a bit straighter. “Yes, I do. I do,” she whispered. For the first time since discovering Birk was alive, she glanced at her children who sat silent and watchful, their eyes full of fear—fear she was conveying to them.

Sofia was right. It was time she proved to herself that she was strong, that for them, she’d fight for what was right. And James was right for them. They needed him.
She
needed him. They’d take it one day at a time—as he’d suggested—if it weren’t too late.

Standing, she served up bowlfuls of Sofia’s aromatic stew and drew Alison out of the tent. She even managed to coax some of the broth into Lara’s mouth. And all the while, she talked, trying to build back her family. She wouldn’t shut them out. They needed to learn by her example how to be strong and fight for what was right. When Alison’s features firmed, sharing her mother’s determination, Eirica felt like maybe everything would be all right.

Sofia returned to Rook who waited behind one of his wagons. She spoke softly to him. He grinned and nodded, then fetched a small pan of food, mounted his old nag and rode out to the cattle. When he found James, he called him over and dished him up a bowl filled with chunks of meat, noodles and spices, most of which he still had no idea what they were.

James shook his head. “I’ll eat later.”

Rook drew his bushy brows together. “The hell ya will. You’s starving yerself like the lass. What good will ya be ta her if ya falls sick?”

James turned away. “It’s over. Eirica doesn’t want me. She won’t even speak to me.”

Rook’s bushy brows rose. “And why do ya suppose that is?”

Scowling, James adjusted his hat. “’Cause she’s married!”

“And ta protect ya.”

James made a rude noise. “She’s the one who needs protecting.”

“Then why are ya way out here and not watching o’er that sweet woman and her children?”

James heaved a huge sigh. “I promised to listen to her, to do it her way.”

“Women, they’s funny creatures. If I’d listened to my Annabelle each time she spoke, we’s never would have had a life together. Most of the time, if I did as she said, I wound up in deeper trouble. Sometimes, ya has to ask yerself if that’s what they really wants. Or if that’s what they really need. Sometimes, a man has to do what’s right, no matter what his woman says.”

Mulling over Rook’s words, James took a bowl of chow without even being aware of it. “Still don’t help me none if she don’t want me around.” James frowned into the bowl, the. spoon halfway to his mouth. He dropped it once again unable to eat.

“Do ya love the lass?” Rook knew the answer would be yes. When James nodded, he stated, “And she still loves you. Seems a mighty funny way ta show it to the other, with ya here and her there.”

Noticing that James was suddenly not only eating but in deep thought, Rook rode away, pleased. He and Sofia sure made a good team these days.

By the time James finished the meal, he felt warmed, inside and out. Hope welled inside him. By golly, Eirica needed him, now more than ever, and he was a fool to have given in to her request. He hadn’t wanted to run roughshod over her, to force her into accepting his help, so he’d given in, trying to prove his love.

But she was wrong. The way to prove his love to her was to return to her side and stand by her through thick and thin. He had to convince her that they had to lay the foundation for their future by working together, starting now.

Tonight, he’d take up his usual watch. Tomorrow morning, they’d talk.

The next morning, James waited outside Eirica’s tent for her to emerge. He paced, firming in his mind his arguments and reasons why they had to stay together. Long into the night, he’d thought about Eirica and the situation. If anything happened to her because he’d stayed away, he’d live with the guilt forever. Rook was right. His place was here, and if his insistence on remaining angered her, then so be it. His mind was made up. Birk would have to go through him to get to Eirica.

James still had a hard time accepting that the man had survived. It was incredible. Normally James wasn’t vindictive and would never wish death on anyone, but not so with Birk. Any man who’d terrorize a sweet little child like Lara deserved to be strung up by his toes as his sister used to say of Coralie after their many altercations. Hell, the bastard deserved much worse. Eirica and her children had suffered more than enough at his hands. Keeping himself busy, he put on a pot of water to boil. By the time Eirica stepped out of her tent, he had two cups of cocoa waiting.

“Eirica,” he greeted, taking in her ragged appearance. She looked as worn around the edges as he felt.

“James.” Her voice trembled slightly and she stood there, staring at him as if uncertain of her reception.

He tossed his hat into the back of the wagon and held out his arms, eager to hold her close, yet afraid she’d refuse to talk to him. To his relief, she cried out and flew into his arms. James held her tightly, afraid to let her go. The children still slept, so it was just the two of them. Somehow, in the short amount of time he had before they woke, he had to convince her that together, they could stand up to Birk and win.

“God, I’ve missed you, sweetheart. Don’t send me away. Not ever again.” His heart sang. They could work this out. Somehow, their love would make it all right. “Let me stay and help you. Together we’ll take care of each other, and the children. Together, we’ll fight for
our
future, yours and mine and theirs.”

Eirica shook her head against him. “I won’t. Not ever again. I love you so much it hurts.”

“You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that,” he groaned. He pulled back and tipped her chin. “I love you, Eirica. You are my life. Without you, there is no sun. No warmth, no beauty, just a frozen, bleak world. Your love is the light that gives my heart and soul life.”

Eirica trailed the back of her fingers across the stubble staining his jaw. “God help me but how can I send away a man who speaks like a poet and sings like an angel? Yet how can I ask you to stay and risk your life?”

James wiped the tears streaming down her face. “Nothing will happen to me. We’ll be safe, at least until we reach Oregon City.”

“And then?”

“Then we have to make new plans. But for now, we’ll just take it one day at a time. You have to trust me, sweetheart.”

For the first time in days, Eirica smiled. She drew out his rock. “Wrong, Mr. Jones. We have to trust each other.” She placed the rock in his palm and covered it with her own palm.

Together they sat, clasping the stone between them until James couldn’t wait any longer to kiss her, his soul starved for her touch. He dropped the rock back into her pocket and drew her close.

Eirica responded, her arms tight around his neck, her fingers buried in his hair. Their lips met for a long, searing kiss. Frantic need to believe him consumed her. Somehow, she had to believe he and Sofia were right. Somehow, everything would work out. Surely God wouldn’t be so cruel as to show her what true love was, then deny it to her? Her hands slid around to his back; his encircled her. Neither paid attention to the lightening sky or the movement of others around them.

“I love you, Eirica. I’ll love you no matter what.”

Eirica pulled back, reluctantly ending the kiss. She felt torn between their love, her need to touch him and have him touch her, and by what was right for both of them. “I’m married,” she reminded him. “What if I can’t get a divorce from Birk? What if I’m never free of him?”

James took several deep breaths. “No matter what, Eirica, I’ll be there for you. We’ll win, sweetheart.” He kissed her again, slowly, tenderly.

Summer’s hungry wail ended their kiss and their time alone. “I know you’re married and I respect that. We won’t make love until you’re free but don’t ask me not to touch you or kiss you.”

“But you need children of your own.” Eirica couldn’t stand the thought of never making love to this man again.

He smiled at her, so sure, so strong. “I have four children whom I love. And one of them needs her ma right now. Wait here. I’ll bring her out.”

A few minutes later, James returned with Summer cradled in his arms. Eirica loved the sight of this big man holding her infant daughter. He held the baby out in front of him, her body supported by his palms as he smiled and cooed at her, trying to stop her hungry wails. He was so gentle, so loving, a natural father. She couldn’t remember her pa or Birk ever holding any of their children.

Using the blanket Anne had knitted to shield herself from the others, she allowed James to put the baby to her breast. He sat next to her. She blushed as he watched Summer latch on to the engorged nipple. Part of her rejoiced at his pleasure in something so natural, so elemental. She turned her head to look at him. His hand slid up her throat and drew her lips to his in a tender kiss.

“I’ll start cooking. I stole some of Sofia’s pancake batter. We’ll surprise the children.” He stood and went to the back of the wagon.

Eirica knew, and so did he, that it would take much more than sweetened pancakes to make her children feel secure again. But at least they could see that she and James, together, were there to love and protect them. When she finished nursing, she joined James, working alongside him as if they’d done it for years rather than weeks.

When the whistle sounded to head out, they were ready. Jessie came over and took charge of the oxen to free James to help Eirica. James picked up Lara. Alison and Ian walked in front of them, while Eirica carried Summer. James put his free arm around Eirica’s shoulder.

At his touch, the warm strength holding her securely against him, Eirica stiffened, fighting a moment’s panic as she glanced around. Then his scent, warm and savory, surrounded her, soothing her raw nerves. But she couldn’t help watching, wondering when Birk would show himself.

“Relax. It’s all right. He’s not going to jump out at us. He’s hiding.”

Eirica knew James was right. Birk would wait until night, spying on them, hidden by the crowds and the cover of darkness. Still, she couldn’t help but stare around her. It took a few minutes, but Eirica became aware of a difference in the formation of the wagon trail. Rook rode next to Jessie who kept the oxen moving by cracking her whip over their backs when they hesitated.

Turning her head, Eirica noted that Jordan was with Coralie behind them. She frowned. Jordan never stayed with the wagons during the day. Even Wolf was still with them, riding in the lead instead of returning to the cattle as was his habit if there were no problems with any of the wagons or the trail.

Sofia and her family along with Lars and his flanked them on the other side.

“Where’s Elliot?”

James snickered. “Riding drag.”

She lifted her brow. “He’s helping with the cattle?”

“Yep.” Though the words were light, Eirica realized that everyone had rallied to form a protective circle around her and James. Birk wouldn’t be able to get to either one of them during the day.

“Did you arrange this?” She waved her hand at the placement of people they knew so well.

James smiled. “No. But that’s what family is for, Eirica. We protect our own and stand together.”

Eirica marveled at the thought that these people would give so much, and without thought. Looking at each and every person, she realized that she’d do the same. There wasn’t a single person she wouldn’t defend or help as they were protecting her. Again she was struck by the true meaning of family. James was right when he’d told her that her own relatives had failed her.

Eirica glanced at her children, then at James, and she felt a warm glow settle in her heart. The six of them looked like a family. A happy one. She took a deep breath. Somehow, they’d make it and starting right now, they’d stick together as a family should.

Hidden deep in a gully near Farewell Bend, Birk finished off his meal of hard biscuits and dried salmon that he and Zeb had gotten from a squaw near Salmon Falls. Smacking his lips, he uncapped his flask of rotgut and drank deeply, then stretched his arms over his head.

After another long drink, he set the flask down and crawled on his belly to the edge of the gully to look down onto the trail following the Snake River. He scanned the long line of wagons that moved past and frowned. Glancing up at the sky, he studied the position of the sun.

“No sign of ’em yet,” he muttered to himself. “They should’ve got here by now.”

Letting out a belch, Birk scrubbed his lips with the back of his hand. After taking Lara to warn his wife he was there, he and Zeb had ridden hard to get ahead and find a safe place to hide and wait for them. This secluded nook between hills overlooking the trail was the perfect spot. But after spending the last three days watching and waiting, he was beginning to fear they’d somehow missed them. Taking one last look up and down the trail, he yawned and slid back down. Pulling his stolen hat down over his eyes, he fell asleep.

By late afternoon, a layer of dark clouds swept across the sky and a splattering of raindrops fell.

Zeb’s return woke him. “They’s a-comin’.”

Both men moved back to the top of the hill. After a while, Birk spotted the large herd of cattle in the distance and scanned the wagons approaching. It was hard to make out individuals, so he moved down the hillside, staying low and in the narrow gullies. Finally, he saw her and his brats, but what made him tighten his hold on a nice, shiny new rifle he’d stolen three nights ago was the sight of his wife walking next to that woman-stealing Jones bastard. His lips twisted and in his fury, he forgot to breathe. His face reddened, his chest hurt and red swam before his eyes.

As if flaunting their disregard of his warning, James put an arm around Eirica’s shoulder and shifted the infant to his other side. Birk nearly stood and shouted at them, so great was his fury. She was his; she knew that and was deliberately defying him. He stroked his weapon, lifted it and took aim at James. All he had to do was pull the trigger. Then, bang, the bastard would be gone. He’d teach that bitch to look at another man.

Unlike his shotgun, this one could bring down prey at a distance.

Maybe he should just kill
her.
All this was her fault. He moved the barrel and sighted her. Nah, if he killed her, he’d do it slowly so that he could watch her suffer. Smirking, he trained the rifle on each of his children.

Damn brats. His heart raced and he returned the sight to James. It struck him how happy the damn lot of them looked. He narrowed his eyes. Not for long. They’d suffer, all of them.

It wasn’t fair. Fury over his lot in life washed over him, making him forget his surroundings. In his mind’s eye, he saw his ma, heard the contempt in her voice as she demanded he sit in a corner, on his knees, for hours and pray for her sins.

And he had. He’d prayed when his ma demanded it, he’d obeyed her, submitted to her beatings and carried out her beliefs but what had it gotten him? A runaway, two-timing wife and a bunch of whining brats. Where was his reward? He was due. By God, he was due. Taking sight, he moved his finger to the trigger. And what better reward than watching them die one at a time?

A sudden growl off to the side penetrated the foggy haze of his need for revenge. Startled, he scooted around and saw a large white wolf standing on the small rise just below him. The beast eyed him with fangs bared. The animal stood between him and his target. Then it was too late. His wife and her lover were out of range. Below him, Wolf’s men were now passing with the cattle. Damn. He didn’t dare do anything now, including killing that damn wolf. They’d be up on him as soon as they heard the shot. “Just you wait, wife-of-mine,” he whispered.

Escaping the wolf who seemed content to stay where it had been, Birk scurried back to where Zeb was helping himself to the flask of whiskey. He’d bide his time, wait as originally planned for them to reach Oregon. Then he’d get his revenge on them all. He had time. Lots of time. “Let’s move out. They’s gone.”

They walked over to the pack mules grazing nearby along with the horses. When Zeb mounted, Birk asked, “Did ya do as I said with that last lock of hair?”

Zeb nodded. “Yeah, that wife of yers won’t be able to help noticing our little present.” He snickered, then belched.

Birk gathered his belongings and tied them behind his saddle. But before he could mount, he saw a flash of white coming straight for him. Yelling for Zeb to get his shotgun, Birk leaped into the saddle, but not before he felt the stab of fangs sinking into his buttocks. He kicked his booted foot at the wolf and heard the tear of cloth. Glancing down, he spotted Jessie’s dog beside the wagon master’s wolf, both barking and growling.

“Shoot them,” Birk yelled to Zeb. He himself was barely able to control his mount, let alone handle his shotgun. But Zeb was having the same trouble. Together, the two managed to wheel their screaming horses around, grab the reins of their frightened pack mules and take off, galloping deeper into the hills.

Finally, having escaped their canine pursuers, they turned westward, staying ahead of the travelers.

Jessie and Lara sat in the wagon with Sadie and her puppies. Jessie hoped the puppies would draw a smile or some reaction from the little girl but they’d done nothing so far. Suddenly, Sadie growled, the sound a low rumble in her throat. The dog jumped from the moving wagon, her growls turning into warning barks as she ran for the hills. Jessie started to follow, but Lara’s cry stopped her.

Knowing she couldn’t leave the little girl, Jessie yelled, “Sadie, come!”

The dog ignored her, stopping at the top of a hill. Jessie could just make out a flash of white ahead of Sadie. She frowned. Something had riled both animals. What was it? Birk? She pulled her Sharps rifle nearer without letting Lara see, then she watched, all the while talking softly to Lara and the pups.