Who He Is (FireNine, book 1) (13 page)

“Liza?” Ben called.

“Hmm?” I answered quickly.

He looked down at me, his eyes narrowing as I placed my hands on my thighs. I could feel my cheeks burning with blood and heat, but I kept my eyes on him. “Cal said he’s looking for an artist to draw something for him for his article. It sounds like something you’d be interested in,” he said, gesturing to Cal.

“Oh.” I gulped, looking from Ben to Cal. “What would it be?”

“Oh, just some minor drawings. When writing an article for
It’s Real
magazine, we get to decorate our pages ourselves, but it has to match the topic. Since my article will be based on the band and music, I’d gather a ton of drawings of guitars, microphones, creative music notes… maybe even cartoon characters that are singing. I’d make it spiffy, fun.” He smiled.

I nodded. “I can help with that.”

Cal winked. “That’d be great, Eliza.” He and Ben started talking about a bunch of junk I didn’t really care about again, and I sighed heavily, reaching for my glass of apple juice to kill the fire that still seemed to be burning inside of me… because of Gage Grendel.

I dared a look at him and his fingers were folded on top of the table. He was leaning his back against his seat, a smirk on his lips, staring ahead. I wasn’t sure what at, but as I looked up, I figured it out.

A girl with blond hair, a tight miniskirt, and a purple belly shirt stood at the entrance, staring directly at Gage. She batted her eyelashes at him a few times and then winked as she stepped around the corner to get to the restrooms. Was that her gesture to get him to come after her?

What surprised me most was that it worked because, clearing his throat, Gage pushed from the table and slid in his chair. No one else seemed to notice he was walking toward the restrooms
but me, and that’s only because the stunt he pulled was really ignorant and disgusting.

I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand how he could make me catch on fire one second, but then right after he’d find someone else to give his attention. It confused me and I was pissed I felt anything toward him. I didn’t want to feel anything because feelings hurt. I had to shut off my damn emotions and continue acting like I didn’t care. I knew he was only going to continue.

Gage disappeared around the corner and didn’t return for a whole fifteen minutes. No one at the table happened to notice he hadn’t come back yet… no one but me, anyway. I knew what he was doing in the restrooms, most likely in a stall with the blond whore he knew nothing about. How could he just do that to himself? What if she carried a disease? I knew he was low, but I didn’t think he would go as
low as having sex with a completely random girl.

Everyone
finished up their meals and as soon as we all stood and pushed in our chairs, out came Gage fixing his red T-shirt and jeans. His hair was mussed, way messier than just a few minutes ago, and he looked worn, as if he’d just worked out. Gage saw us getting ready to leave so he headed for the exit. As I stepped past the restrooms, the random blond whore was stepping out, applying lip-gloss to her lips curved into a satisfied smile.
Un-fucking-believable
.

“Oh shit!” Montana yelled from the knick-knack area. I turned to see him holding up a large Tootsie
Roll pop. He pretended to lick it and I laughed as I stepped in, forgetting all about Gage and his gross bathroom scandal.

“Can I get a picture of you with that?” I asked.

“Anything for you, Miss Eliza.” He winked. I lifted my camera off of my chest and he posed, holding the Tootsie pop against him, as if he were a kid. I giggled as I snapped two and then pulled the camera from my eye.

“So, Eliza…” Montana sighed, putting down the lollipop. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

I shook my head quickly. “No.”

“W
hy not?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I’m really picky, I guess. He has to be worth dating.”

Montana snorted a laugh before picking up a hand-sized water gun. “So, in other words, you’re waiting on a guy you know you’ll want to marry. You’re that kind of chick? Old-fashioned?”

I blinked quickly because he was right on… sort of. “Kind of.” I lied. The truth was yes, but it was way too early for me to be thinking about marriage, which was why I was taking my time on dating. There was no rush. I had plenty of time.

“Sounds like you wouldn’t give anyone on this tour a chance, then,” he said, stepping toward me and licking his lips.

“That’s a definite no.” I laughed as I took a step away.

“But what if one of us is willing to take the dive for you? I mean, it may not be right now exactly, but in the future.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What are you getting at, Montana?”

“I’m not saying me,” he said, raising his hands innocently. “I’m just saying… maybe I know someone who would be a good match for you.”

I laughed as I scanned the shop. Everyone was looking at different things. Roy and Deed sorted through old-fashioned guitar picks and Gage messed with candy bars and candles. Ben was still talking to Cal about God knows what, and the other miscellaneous people of the crew were waiting by the door, checking their watches and phones, ready to go.

“I highly doubt anyone here is a match for me,” I finally said, looking at Montana again.

“What about Gage?” he asked, lifting his eyebrows and pointing his thumb toward him. “
We’ve talked about this before and I see the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. I wish you two would just fuck and get it over with already. The wait is killing me and I’m not even getting any ass.”

“Hmm… no thanks. I’ve literally just gotten to know him and he’s most likely unsanitary, inside and out.”

Montana laughed obnoxiously. “Eliza, I’m pretty sure any guy that’s a part of a band is naturally unsanitary. We like to get dirty. Being clean is for the birds.” He waved his hand, slightly rolling his eyes.

“Well, dirty isn’t my thing. I like clean men,” I said matter-of-factly, picking up a strawberry-flavored lollipop.

“So you like douchebags like Cal over there?” he grumbled.

“Cal’s sweet,” I said, glancing over my shoulder to find him. He was talking to another crewmember.

Montana sighed, as if he were bored with me. “Being sweet is the new bitter.”

“Oh, really?” I placed a hand on my hip. “So what’s being rude, then? What’s being a jerk? An asshole? I hope you aren’t going to make it a reference to being sweet or cool because it isn’t.”

“Hey, no one said anything about being rude. I’m a pretty nice guy. I just like to have fun and the girls I come across don’t realize that. I’m still young. I still have a life to live. I’m pretty sure my band brothers feel the exact same way. We aren’t settlers. We just take whatever life hands us and run with it.”

“Even when life hands you a random broad to fuck in the bathroom?” I countered.

He chuckled, running a hand over his slick mohawk. “You caught that, too, huh? Gage thinks he’s the sneakiest bastard alive. I swear he does.”

“It’s gross. He didn’t even know her.”

“Which is the best part. When he doesn’t know her, he doesn’t have to worry about seeing her again, and if he does, he can pretend they’ve never met. We’re constantly on the move, Eliza. We see so many faces that it all becomes a blur. That’s one thing you have to understand. We don’t have time to care for feelings outside our own. It’s hard to really give a fuck about anyone but ourselves,” he said, his tone nonchalant.

I sighed, turning around to get to the exit.
“Well, I guess what people say about rockers is true.”

“And what might that be?” Montana asked, catching up to me.

“Rockers are selfish and filthy fuckers—at least, that’s what I always hear. I used to think it was a stereotype, but the more I’m around you boys, the more I think maybe it’s the truth.” Montana chuckled and I couldn’t help but laugh with him. At least he wasn’t denying his ways. I could respect that.

“You don’t need to worry, Eliza. You’re off limits to all of us anyway. You’re around us too much and we see you every day, so if any one of us even takes the dare to try and have sex with you, we wouldn’t be getting off so easily. Unlike the other girls where we can kick them out or even leave them without an excuse, you get to stay and we’ll have to make one up for you and… well… that’s just too much damn work. None of us wants to be nagged
, so you’re safe around us—plus, you’re our manager’s daughter. Couldn’t do you like that.”

I frowned as we stepped outside and Montana placed his dark sunglasses over his eyes. “Is that really how the band sees me? As a girl they know they shouldn’t have sex with?”

“Not exactly that way, but somewhere near that. I’d rather have you as a buddy. I’m not sure about everyone else… especially Gage. He’s been getting so close to you that it might just happen one day or another,” he teased. “Gage will take the nagging as long as he’s scored himself some pussy.”

“Number one: I don’t nag,” I said, laughing. “And number two: I would never have sex with Gage after being a witness to him having sex in a public restroom with a girl he doesn’t even know.”

“Whatever you say, Miss Eliza.” He shrugged, sighing. “There’s always something that’ll get a person to crack. Gage is a wise man when it comes down to it. He’ll get a chick to crack in a heartbeat. He enjoys the chase.”

“I think you’ve failed to realize that I’m not like the chicks you and Gage mess around with. I’m far from it, actually.”

“How far?” he tempted.

“Pretty far.”

“Mm-hmm…” He smirked, looking me over beneath his sunglasses. “Tell that to me at the end of the tour. You’re still a girl. You still have desires… needs.”

“Are we making a bet over Gage and my vagina?”

“How much are you willing to put on it?” he inquired, grinning slyly.

“I wouldn’t put anything on my precious vagina because I know, in the end, he wouldn’t be worth it.”

“Who wouldn’t be worth what?” Gage’s voice bellowed behind me.

My heart stilled and I refused to look back. Instead, I stared
straight ahead at Montana who’d just looked from Gage to me, his smile confident. “Yeah. Even though there’s no money on it, I know I’m gonna win this bet,” he said before turning around and walking off.

“What’s that clown talking about?” Gage asked, stepping around to get in front of me.

“Uh… nothing,” I muttered. He folded his arms across his chest and the ink stretched over his sculpted muscles.

“So you
are
intrigued by blonds,” he said.

My eyes narrowed. “How?”

“Well, Cal has blond hair. Montana… I’m just putting two and two together here, Ellie.”

“You’r
e obviously attracted to blonds as well,” I quipped.

He raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“In bathrooms of Cracker Barrel.”

“You’re upset about that?”

“No,” I lied. “And do you have any respect?”

Gage’s features fell, his smile evaporating. I thought for a moment he was going to give in and say yes—that maybe he was going to apologize—but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “I have more respect for myself
now than I’ve ever had before. I think I’ve accomplished a lot in the past four years.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking at the rest of the band standing by the truck. “Maybe you should listen to Montana. He’s right.”

“Ugh.” I shook my head. “You were listening?”

He chuckled, lowering his head. “It wasn’t hard to figure out you two were talking about me. You wouldn’t stop looking at me.” He laughed. “And besides, you should take notes from him. I’ll get you to crack and open up one day… and you’re gonna love the hell out of me for it, too.” A cocky smirk formed on his lips as he scanned me from head to toe.

I placed a hand on my hip, not daring to back down. I knew he was trying to get under my skin, but I wasn’t
having it. “You know what I think?” I asked rhetorically. Gage folded his arms, still smirking. “I think you only do your nasty charades in public for show. You want someone to pay attention to you—someone to tell you how wrong you are so you can laugh at them.” I folded my arms, pressing my lips. “I think you only do it so you won’t have to bother yourself with reality—so you can have a little laugh—but deep down, it’s not what you really want. You’re not as careless as you claim to be.”

For a moment, shock overtook Gage’s face. His mouth hung open slightly and his eyes grew a little wider, but in a snap he clamped his mouth shut and took a step back, placing his sunglasses over his eyes. “Don’t pretend you know anything about me,” he muttered. “You don’t and you never will.” His jaw ticked, proving maybe I was right about him. No one would get that upset unless I spoke the truth. And the truth hurts.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” I asked. My eyes narrowed as I aimed to look deeply into his eyes.

“Far from it, Sweet Ellie.”
I could tell he was lying. He was no longer looking at me.

“Yeah.” I scoffed. “Whatever.” I began to turn around, but before I could completely, Gage grabbed my arm and spun me back. I landed between his arms and as I tried to pull away, he held on tighter. One
of his hands slid down my hips and I bit my bottom lip, trying my hardest to not moan or hitch my breath.