Who Knows the Dark (20 page)

Sam made a little choking sound.

Nox leaned forward, sliding his hands across the table toward his son, feeling a pang of sadness when Sam didn’t reach for him.

“What you did, it’s too big for I’m sorry, D—” The slip knocked Sam’s anger out of him; he seemed to collapse in on himself as the word tried to break free. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Sam, please.”

“I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to hear it.” Sam struggled to stand up, knocking the table and rattling the dishes as he did.

“Sam, I might not come back,” Nox finally shouted, anything to keep him from leaving.

Sam froze.

“I’m going to the city because I need to be free of it. I want to be done so I can move on and maybe—maybe, find you in Boston. To say I’m sorry until you believe me.”

Sam wiped his eyes angrily. “Don’t guilt me, don’t, okay?”

“If I don’t come back—”

“Shut up!”

“Sam! If I don’t come back, I need you to understand one thing. Even if you never forgive me.” Nox stood up slowly, until he and Sam were face-to-face. He absorbed every detail of his son’s profile, flashing through every Sam he’d known and adored for the past seventeen years. “The most important moment of my life was when you were born. I didn’t realize it then, but in that exact second, I truly became a man.”

“Dad.” Sam started to cry in earnest. “I can’t….”

“Sometimes you’re still that little baby, Sam. I’m sorry—but you are. I’ve spent eighteen years making sure you stayed alive, and I feel like—the only way I can be free of all of this is to know these people are not a threat to us anymore.”

Sam shook his head, choking down his tears. Wet-eyed and devastated, he reached out to touch Nox’s hand.

“You have to swear to me that you will come back. That you will get these men put in jail, and then you’ll come back. We—we can make a date and a place, and you’ll come back, and Mason and me will meet you there,” he said in a rush. “And maybe then we can talk and….”

His fingers clenched and released over and over; Nox reached out and laid his hands on top of Sam’s.

“I promise, okay? I’ll come back.”

“Swear.”

“I swear….”

“Swear on something that matters. Don’t just say words,” Sam demanded. “Make a promise you won’t break.”

All that Nox loved in the world was Sam. Cade’s face flashed in his mind a second later, and he blinked back the emotion that threatened to spill out of his eyes.

“I swear on you—okay? I swear on how much I love you that I’ll be back.”

Tears tracked down Sam’s face as he squeezed their hands together.

“Okay, I believe you.”

Nox pulled at Sam’s hands; his son got up without breaking contact and came to Nox’s side of the table. He threw his arms around Nox’s neck and held on for dear life.

“Remember your promise,” Sam cried as Nox held him tightly.

“To you? Always.”

S
AM
FOUND
his way out to the guesthouse after his talk with his father. His chest hurt like the pneumonia had come back; behind his glasses, his eyes were dry and stinging.

For all his talk of anger and being unable to forgive him, the thought of his father leaving—it made him sick inside. He knew what was back on that island, and now it was worse—because Nox wasn’t a hidden nuisance. He was a man with a price on his head, and worse, he was a man who wanted answers.

What if something went wrong?

What if they caught him?

“Hey, you okay?” Mason, of course, coming to him as though a homing beacon shot out of the top of Sam’s head.

“Me and my dad talked,” Sam said, coming to sit down on the front steps of the house. “He’s leaving in the morning.”

Mason dropped down next to him, his arm automatically coming around Sam’s shoulders and pulling him close. They clicked together like perfectly calibrated magnets.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured and pressed a kiss to Sam’s temple.

“I’m still so mad for what he did,” Sam whispered. “But I don’t want anything to happen to him.”

Mason stroked his back tenderly. “I know.”

N
OX
WATCHED
from the window of the Creel home. Sam and Mason, twisted up in each other’s arms, entwined in a lover’s embrace.

The urge to pull them apart fluttered and died.

A hand touched his back—Cade, wrapping an arm around his waist and peeking out the window around him.

“How’d it go?”

Nox shrugged. “He’s still furious, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want me to die.”

“Good, that makes two of us. Three—my mom likes you.”

They stood together, watching the boys get up, then walk toward the guesthouse.

“LJ has a gizmo phone for you. He’s very proud of it, so try to look impressed.”

Twisting his body, Nox turned so they were nose to nose—or nearly so. He looked Cade right in the eye, bullshit detector in place. “Who are you going with?”

He got an eye roll for an answer.

“Come on—LJ has to explain the gizmo to you, and then we’re eating dinner.” Cade stepped out of his arms, but Nox was quicker and pulled their bodies flush together.

“You’re awfully calm about this.”

Defiance and amusement lit Cade’s eyes, a smile so sweet and dirty Nox thought he’d burst from it.

“Would you prefer I weep and wail, throw myself at your feet?” Cade drawled, letting his tongue play across his lips as if savoring a feast. “Maybe rip my clothes in grief? I told you before—I make up my own mind when I want something.”

Nox couldn’t hold him this time; Cade broke out of the embrace and turned to walk out of the room without another word.

N
OX
LEFT
the farm at dawn.

Tendrils of orange-yellow sunlight stretched over the quiet house as he paused on the front porch, taking a final sip of good coffee from the mug Amelia had left him. Good-byes had been said and now it was done. Nox was going back to New York.

He knew his loved ones weren’t pleased with his decision. Their support was conditional and begrudging. He’d sworn to his son he would be back. They would meet at the rendezvous point—Boston—in six months’ time, and Nox would be in touch before then, updating everyone on his investigation.

Nox walked the pathway toward the road, measured steps taking him away from a place that, despite its faults and dangers, actually felt like home. The memories, he tucked in his mind for the journey ahead—quiet moments with Cade and seeing Sam blossom into an adult. These times were all they would have in the future; in a few hours, the house would turn into an empty shell as the inhabitants left for safer climes.

In the privacy of the barn, three packed vehicles waited: Amelia and Lee Sr.’s truck filled with memories and treasures—and a few shotguns; LJ’s beast of a Denali, holding all his computer equipment; and finally the farm’s small pickup, which Sam and Mason would drive.

Cade never told him which vehicle he’d be riding in, but Nox hoped it would be with his son.

The spring air felt damp and heavy already; he’d conceded to the weather and wore his boots, blue jeans, and a gray T-shirt. Everything else—his hood, his weapons, money, and food—he’d stuffed into the hiking backpack strapped to his body. He felt prepared for the trip; the walking, the hitching, the covert borrowing of a car or motorcycle. What lay beyond that, on the island, was a mystery waiting to be unraveled.

The dark place inside him said he wouldn’t ever see Cade and the others again. Nox buried that and kept walking.

LJ’d given him a sophisticated new phone with bells, whistles, and tricks so complicated it had taken almost an hour to explain. “The latest in high-tech communications,” made LJ’s eyes light up, but Nox just needed directions to his destination.

The rest he knew made his little band of loved ones—save Rachel—feel more secure about him leaving alone.

An earpiece connected him to the phone buried in his pocket. A soft voice gave him updates on his course—“keep walking straight for the next twenty-eight miles” was particularly amusing—and Nox breathed in the still South Carolina air with each long stride.

On the island, he’d find his answers.

B
Y
NOON
Nox was walking along the highway, rattled as the semis flew by him, bringing wares to all points of the Eastern Seaboard. In the distance he could see the tall buildings of Charleston, his destination for today. The phone vibrated against his thigh; he almost missed it with all the traffic, but that soft voice came back into his ear to say:

“
On our way.
”

A pang of regret surprised him—Nox knew they were leaving in a little caravan, seeking out Amelia’s family cabin in the Alabama woods. Off the grid was their only choice, and the farther they could get from Nox and his plans, the better. It was what he wanted, what he’d fought for, but the pulse of sadness in his heart didn’t listen to his brain.

He was walking in the opposite direction of everything he cared about.

Was revenge really worth it?

Caught up in his brooding, it took Nox a second to register the rumble of a vehicle pulling up next to him. He stepped through a clump of garbage and weeds, pausing as he slipped his hand into his pocket to secure his knife.

When he turned, a flash of annoyance stayed any smile that might be fighting to come out.

Cade leaned out of the window of the Denali, grinning like an idiot.

“Hey, sexy. You need a ride? I’ll let you sit on my lap,” he growled, drawl and lascivious eyes completing the picture.

“I thought I fucked you good-bye already?” Nox asked, walking slowly toward the truck.

Cade threw his head back and laughed.

Then LJ waved from the driver’s seat, and Rachel flipped him the finger from where she was sharing a seat with Cade.

Idiots.

“I thought we agreed…,” he started, but Cade rolled his eyes.

“We agreed you needed to do your whole macho-loner-asshole thing and pretend it was even remotely intelligent to walk into a clusterfuck without backup.” Cade sighed, opening the door and nearly knocking Nox on his ass. “And then we had a meeting and overruled you.”

“I voted to let you die a martyr’s death,” Rachel called, “but apparently you’re worth the effort or something.” She slid through the gap between the front seats and into a small space Nox could see had been carved out among the boxes and bags.

Nox leaned into the truck, half in Cade’s lap and half still out.

This was ridiculous. He had suspected Cade would follow, but this was fucking ridiculous.

“You’re all insane,” he murmured.

LJ flicked his Ray-Bans onto the top of his head, gesturing to the three occupants of the truck. “You need us.”

“I can—”

“You can kick things and kill things and shoot things. I can give you the interworking of the casinos and identify the people who are actually in charge,” Rachel recited as she examined her nails. “Cade’s got a nice mouth, and he knows half the whores in town, so that might be helpful. LJ….” She paused for a moment, casting an almost sickeningly sweet smile in his direction. “LJ is a fucking genius and can get us into the city computers. Can you do any of that?”

“His mouth ain’t bad,” Cade snarked, and bussed a kiss on his cheek. “But for the record, I’m not blowing anyone for information.”

LJ put his sunglasses back over his eyes, a grimace across his mouth. “Thanks for that.”

“I might blow you, however,” Cade said to Nox, who honestly couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or curse them all out, “for relaxation purposes.”

Nox sighed. Rachel was right, and goddamn, he hated that.

“I hate all of you.” Nox pulled off his pack with a sigh.

He crowded into the passenger seat with Cade as his pack got stored in a slender rectangle of space next to Rachel. They were a tight fit, and it was a long ride—which was going to seem longer, as Cade couldn’t stop giving Nox an impromptu lap dance.

“Cut that out,” he whispered into Cade’s ear as he wrapped an arm around his lover’s waist.

“Just trying to get comfortable,” Cade said dryly.

I
T
WAS
as they stopped to fill up the Denali in Charleston—at a seedy little diesel station near the new docks—that Nox relaxed a little. Logically LJ and Rachel would be of great help as he navigated the city’s dense underbelly. They’d need to find a secure location, a place to pull electricity off the grid without being noticed by the city or anyone else. As Nox thought of potential hideouts, Cade came back from the “restrooms”—a tree behind the tiny station—and leaned against the truck.

“How long have you had this planned?” Nox asked, watching the numbers on the pump flip.

“Since you made your little pronouncement.” Cade produced a chocolate bar from his pocket, then concentrated on the wrapper, tense across his shoulders even as his face belied casualness.

“And last night was….”

A gorgeous and amused smile crossed his mouth. “Last night was some great fucking,” Cade said, fluttering his lashes as he looked up at Nox. “I figured it would be a while before we did it on a mattress again, and I wanted to make the most of it.”

Nox fought off a smile. “You’re crazy, you know that, right?”