Whore Stories (30 page)

In the Zohar, Naamah is portrayed as the wily witch of fuck—a little demon who creep into a man’s room while the moon is waning, has sex with him in order to become pregnant so she can spawn more demons. No money changes hands, nothing tangible anyway like ducats or shekels, and it doesn’t really seem like rape, so why is she considered a prostitute? Because ancient religious texts tells us so, that’s why. This logic will frustrate a historian every time.

“To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.”

—Valerie Solanas

In the Bible (Genesis 4:22), Naamah is the daughter of Lamech and Zillah. In the Talmud (Genesis Rabba 27), she’s Noah’s wife. What? Did you think Noah’s wife was Emzara, the daughter of Rake’el? Complicating matters further, some scholars claim that Naamah was a male. An issue like this calls for primary sources, but the quest to locate the genesis of the Naamah prostitution myth in the holy texts is a fool’s errand. She (or he, or it) is a vital virago in the racy retinue of sex workers, but like a succubus, it’s there, you just can’t feel the damage until the cock crows.

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