Why Pick on Me (2 page)

2

It got worse.…

After school Marvin walked home with Nick and Stuart. He was still upset.

“The ball was over the line,” he said.

“Just forget about it,” said Nick.

“It was over the line,” said Marvin.

“We
know,”
said Stuart.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t know,” said Stuart. “It was funny.”

“Boogers on the ball!” said Nick, then he and Stuart cracked up.

Marvin didn’t think it was funny. It was unfair! Clarence was just being a bad sport.

“I didn’t pick my nose,” he said for the millionth time.

“Just quit talking about it!” said Nick. “Forget about it.”

“You can’t keep telling people you don’t pick your nose,” said Stuart. “That sounds weird.”

“But I don’t!” said Marvin.

His face burned as he thought about it.

Everybody had laughed at him. Even Nick and Stuart. If they were true friends, they would have stuck up for him.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it, all day and into the night.

It was unfair. He didn’t pick his nose. The ball was over the line.

When he got to school the next morning, the first person he saw was Casey Happleton.

“Hi, Marvin,” said Casey. Her ponytail stuck out of the side of her head.

“I didn’t pick my nose,” said Marvin.

“What?”

“I didn’t pick my nose,” he repeated.

Casey looked at him a moment. Then she remembered. “You’re gross,” she said.

Warren sat in front of him. He had been absent yesterday.

“Hey, Warren,” Marvin whispered as he tapped Warren’s shoulder.

Warren turned around.

“Did you hear I pick my nose?” Marvin asked him. “Well, I don’t.”

Melanie sat next to Warren. “What’d he say? What’d he say?” she asked. Melanie always wanted to know everything.

“He asked me if I knew he picked his nose,” said Warren.

“Oh, yeah,” said Melanie. “Marvin’s the biggest nose picker in the whole school.”

“I am not!” whispered Marvin.

All morning Marvin kept telling everyone he didn’t pick his nose. But the more he talked about it, the more the other kids teased him about it.

And the more they teased him, the more he kept talking about it.

“Don’t get too close to Marvin,” said Clarence. “Or else he’ll try to pick your nose too.”

3

It got worse.…

“What’s your favorite color, Marvin?” asked Judy.

Marvin thought about red, because he had red hair and his name was Marvin Redpost. But really, he liked green better—the color of grass and trees. The color of springtime.

“Green,” he said.

“The color of boogers!” said Melanie.

“You’re disgusting, Marvin!” said Judy as she wrote down his answer on her sheet of paper.

Marvin felt terrible. In fifty years they’ll dig up the time capsule. And they’ll find out a boy named Marvin Redpost picked his nose. And everyone will laugh at him.

Maybe in fifty years he’d be president! But then they’d dig up the time capsule and say, “You can’t be president anymore. You picked your nose.”

It wasn’t fair. The ball was over the line.

They didn’t let him play wall-ball at recess. “You’ll get boogers on the ball,” said Justin.

Everyone laughed. But it was more than just a joke. They believed it too.

As he walked away, he almost bumped into Heather. Heather was playing hopscotch with Gina. “Yuck, don’t let him touch you,” said Gina.

After school he caught up with Nick and Stuart.

“So what do you want to do today?” he asked.

Stuart and Nick looked at each other.

“We can go to my house,” Marvin suggested.

“Uh …” said Stuart.

Gina and Heather came toward them. Heather made a face at Marvin.

“Who’s your best friend?” asked Gina. “It’s for the survey.”

“Nick,” said Stuart.

“Stuart,” said Nick.

Marvin couldn’t believe it. Stuart and Nick would be fighting all the time if it wasn’t for him. How could they be best friends?

“Who’s your best friend, Marvin?” asked Gina.

Marvin looked at Nick and Stuart. “I don’t have a best friend,” he said.

He waited for Gina and Heather to leave.

“I don’t pick my nose,” he said.

“We know that,” said Stuart.

“But if I said you were my best friend,” explained Nick, “everyone would think I picked my nose too.”

“You were supposed to tell the truth for the survey,” said Marvin.

“I did,” said Nick.

“You’re still our friend,” said Stuart. “Just not our best friend.”

“That’s right,” said Nick.

“You can’t have more than one
best
friend,” said Stuart.

Marvin walked home alone.

He lived in a two-story gray house. There was a white fence around the house. Next to the gate was one red post.

Marvin tapped the red post as he walked through the gate.

He had an older brother, Jacob, who was eleven, and a younger sister, Linzy, who was four.

They were both in the kitchen.

“Marvin!” exclaimed Linzy. “Do you want to play Mommy-Daddy?”

“No,” muttered Marvin.

Linzy always wanted to play Mommy-Daddy. The worst part was that Linzy always insisted on being the Daddy. That meant Marvin had to be the Mommy.

“Hiya, Mar,” said Jacob.

Marvin grunted.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jacob.

Marvin shrugged. He couldn’t tell his big brother that the other kids said he picked his nose. It was so childish. Jacob was cool.

“You want to do something?” Marvin asked him.

“Can’t,” said Jacob. “Nate and I are going to ride our bikes down Suicide Hill.”

“Cool,” said Marvin. He opened the refrigerator.

“Do you want to play Doggie?” asked Linzy.

“No.”

Doggie was worse than Mommy-Daddy. Linzy would throw a ball, and Marvin would have to fetch it.

He shut the refrigerator. There was nothing good to eat.

“Where’s Nick and Stuart?” asked Jacob.

Marvin shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. “And I don’t care!”

He had better things to do. Lots of things.

“Okay, Linzy,” he said. “Let’s play Mommy-Daddy.”

“Okay,” said Linzy. “But I get to be the Daddy.”

4

It got worse and worse.…

He did poorly in school. He always used to be one of the first persons done. Now there were times when he didn’t even finish.

He didn’t care.

Stuart and Nick had told him that he was still their friend—just not their
best
friend. But even that wasn’t true.

“Why don’t I see Stuart around anymore?” his mother asked.

“I hate him!” said Marvin.

“How about Nick?”

“I hate him too!”

Every day after school, he and Linzy played Mommy-Daddy or Doggie. Except when Linzy had friends over.

He thought about challenging Clarence to a fight. If Marvin won, then he didn’t pick his nose. If Clarence won, then he did pick his nose.

But Clarence was the toughest kid in his class. There was no way Marvin could win.

“Look out! Here comes Marvin!” shouted Amanda as Marvin entered the lunchroom. “Don’t let him touch you!”

He sat down at one of the tables.

Travis and Clarence came toward him.

“I have to ask you my survey question,” said Travis, “I’ve already asked everyone else.”

“What?” asked Marvin.

“What’s your favorite food?”

“Booger sandwiches!” shouted Clarence before Marvin could answer. “Marvin said he likes to eat booger sandwiches!”

Everyone laughed.

Mrs. Grant marched toward them. She was furious.

Mrs. Grant was the lunchroom supervisor.

Good
, thought Marvin.
Clarence will finally get in trouble
.

But Mrs. Grant wasn’t angry at Clarence.

“Marvin Redpost!” she scolded. “Stop that disgusting talk right now! You’re going to ruin everyone’s appetite.”

“But I didn’t—”

“Just stop it,” said Mrs. Grant.

Marvin shook his head. He opened his paper sack and took out his sandwich.

“He’s going to eat it!” Clarence announced. “He’s going to eat a booger sandwich!”

Marvin put his sandwich down. He wasn’t hungry anymore.

“It’s not a booger sandwich,” he said. “It’s turkey.”

“Then why won’t you eat it?” asked Heather.

Marvin sighed. He picked up his sandwich and bit into it. “There, see,” he said.

“Ahhhhh!” screamed Heather. “He ate a booger sandwich!”

“It’s not a booger sandwich!” Marvin shouted.

Mrs. Grant grabbed him by the elbow and yanked him outside.