Wicked Bad Boys (92 page)

I
let him leave
.

It was only after climbing into bed and shutting off the lights that I finally let myself breathe. Why did this have to be so difficult and awkward and uncomfortable?

I needed a release.

I shimmied out of the sweatshirt I had thrown on after my run and tossed it to the side before lying back against the pillows. I let my cool hands run down my warm skin before dipping into the waist of my silky panties. No matter what I told myself, being so close to Johnny—in the car, and at dinner, and even during our blowout—had done nothing but arouse me. As angry as he made me just now, he had smelled so damn good. I fought hard to resist the urge to pull him back into bed with me and nestle into his neck.

Alone in his bed, his scent still lingered. My cheeks heated up as I imagined a vivid scene of what would happen if Johnny were still beside me. I relaxed against the cool sheets. My body was on fire. I wanted Johnny’s hands on me. I traced my fingers down my sides, slower this time, then back up over my naked breasts. I held back a small moan, picturing Johnny above me.

He would pin my hands above my head, forcing me to submit to him in a way that both frustrated and excited me. He would caress my body, not stopping until he had explored every inch of me, making me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet. I shifted on the bed, writhing under my own fingers, fantasizing that they were his, or his lips. I slid my other hand down my stomach, and lower until my fingertips hit the edge of my panties again. I closed my eyes and slipped them under the fabric, enjoying the softness of my trimmed mound. I tensed as my fingers reached my clit, making slow circles around the bud.

I wanted Johnny.

Without the arguing. Without the deception.

I wished we could start over.

He had such power over me, even now.

Gasping softly under my own touch, I worked a little faster. I was so lost in the fantasy, my body took over. I slid a finger down to the slick wetness between my folds.

His fingers.

They traced circles against my clit. One of his strong, sure fingers would enter me and stroke me, driving me to insanity. His tongue would soon join in, dancing along my lips, circling my clit. He would take it between his lips as he gently tugged and stimulated me, sending me closer to heaven. Wave upon wave of pleasure would course through me, taking me higher and higher, until…

My body trembled. A moan escaped my lips as I got to an intense climax. I convulsed as a second rush followed quickly behind while I continued to stroke myself. When it released me, I sank back against the pillow, slightly disoriented, letting my body take its time to return to normal.

With it came the reality of the last four hours. I placed my hands over my face. What the hell was I going to do?

T
houghts of Johnny
echoed through my mind for the rest of the night, making it nearly impossible to sleep. Somehow, I managed to get a few hours rest, only to be stirred when my alarm went off. I hit the snooze button a few times and covered my head with a pillow. I had barely been awake for twenty minutes and there was already noise from out in the living area. I dragged myself out of bed and went to the door.

Johnny’s band members were all out there with the road crew and a small horde of private security. Kevin was with them, but I didn’t see Johnny among the crowd. That did not surprise me—he hated mornings more than I did.

I did my best to shake off the sense of dread hovering over me like a black cloud, sinking lower and lower the longer I stared at the bunch. We would fly back to LA after the concert, so I showered and dressed quickly, double-checked my room to make sure I had all the essentials packed away, and went out to the living room. I was met with and returned the nods and morning greetings as I passed through the large room to get to the kitchen.

I met all of the band members before, but nothing had happened past the initial introductions. Johnny didn’t seem that close to them. He rarely talked to or about them, outside of practices and their work in the studio. I glanced at them as they all huddled together around one of the tables. There was Stevey, the drummer; Tony, the bass player; Mike, who worked the keyboard and small percussion instruments; and Luke, another guitar player and backup vocalist. They all seemed nice enough, but it was obvious they were much closer to each other than to Johnny. Thinking back, I remembered what he said about Kevin replacing all the members of his original band. I guess it made sense he had never bothered to get too close to this new group. He probably had no idea whether they would stick around for more than a few years.

I made it to the kitchen. I was not hungry, but coffee was essential if I had any hope of making it through the rest of the day. Kevin shouted instructions back and forth as they went through technical details about tonight’s performance. Tuning it out was easy. I had very little idea what they had been talking about. I waited for the coffee machine to brew the single serving cup I put on. Johnny made his appearance just as my drink was finished. He said a loud ‘morning y’all’ to the group and made a beeline to me.

“Morning,” he said, stopping short once he stood facing me.

“Hi.”

“How did you sleep?” He moved to the coffee machine I had just finished using. I took a good look at him. He was dressed in jeans that fit him snugly, and a T-shirt that gave a hint of his fit biceps and chest. My eyes ran his body while he had his back to me, working on making his own drink. Regardless of how my heart and mind felt about him, my body seemed to have the same reaction it always did to his presence. Raw lust and desire.

“It was fine. You?”

“Horrible. Kevin snores.” He turned toward the living room. “Ain’t that right, Kevin?”

Kevin looked over when he heard him, but quickly resumed what he had been doing.

“Amanda.”

“What’s up?”

He was about to put his hand over my shoulders, and stopped himself. “I’m not giving up on you.” He took my hand and pulled me in. “And I’m sorry about last night. I was wrong…again.”

Before I could think to respond, I heard the familiar “Amanda,” from Kevin.

“What now…” Johnny muttered. He shot me a sympathetic glance, and I left with my coffee mug to see what my other boss needed.

“Where’s your bag?” His tone was different today…gentler.

“They’re in my room.”

He checked his watch.

“I’ll go get it,” Johnny said.

I jerked around, sloshing some of my coffee onto my hand at the sound of Johnny’s voice over my shoulder. “I’ve got to pack my things in there,” he said.

Before I could stop him, he had turned and was heading to the bedroom.

The guilt got to me. He was still being the same sweet, protective Johnny he had been from the start. All night long, I had been silently preparing for our next big showdown, thinking of everything I wanted to tell him whenever our verbal sparring resumed. Now, he was sucking all the resolution from me. He reappeared some time later with my suitcases in his hands, and returned to the room for his. Minutes later, Kevin announced it was time to go. We were all heading over to Bellagio to prepare, and would remain there for the day, right up until performance.

Johnny would not leave my side. On the elevator ride downstairs, he placed his hand on the small of my back. I closed my eyes at the innocent contact. It felt like it had been months since he had touched me. Even once his hand was gone, the residual heat tingled along my spine. I didn’t dare to look over at him—my face was flushed. He had this overpowering effect over me. His touch was like nothing I had ever experienced.

Downstairs, the two tour buses were waiting for the crew, and several SUVs were parked for the security staff. Johnny, Larry and I stepped into the limo that had been waiting. Kevin and Fred stayed back to get everyone loaded in. When the limo driver moved off, Johnny moved closer to me. He put his arm around my shoulders, not caring that Larry was sitting perpendicular to us in the stretch seats of the limo. I took a while to react, and when I looked over at him, he was staring through the window. I felt a sting of pity as I watched him. He seemed so lonely. I thought about patting his knee or holding his hand. I quickly shook the thought off.

He turned to me and closed in. “You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now, Amanda,” he whispered in my ear.

I let out an involuntary sigh. My body betrayed me already. I had a moment of weakness where I thought about how we were the night before discovering he was stonefaceviper79. Last night I had resolved to keep things from getting physical with him for the rest of my time out here, but right now, there was little doubt we would end up in bed together again. Who was I kidding? I probably couldn’t last another day in such close quarters with him. My body warmed at the thought, and I glanced out the window, already guilty about the fantasies I had conjured up.

What I needed to remember was that no matter how physical things got between us for the rest of the trip, my heart was off limits. The sooner we both accepted that, the easier it would be for each of us to get back to living our separate lives. I told myself it would be better when I returned to Miami. He would forget about me soon enough. I had every right to be angry with him over the stonefaceviper79 page and the lies, but for whatever reason, it was getting harder to stay mad at him.

More than anything, I wished he had just told me—or that I had never found out.

I
was getting
through to her. I could feel it. She wasn’t pushing me away anymore. Not physically, anyway.

Sex would be as good a place to start as any.

She’s mine.

A few minutes after we boarded the limo, we made it to the Bellagio hotel. I would perform at the theater-styled stage onsite, which had capacity for two thousand people. My performance was sold out, so I needed to be in the right headspace—a tall order given I had barely slept and Amanda was still pretty upset with me. Fred believed this performance was just as much at risk as the others. With the possibility this stalker could show up, they were not taking any chances. Amanda would be up on stage again.

I wondered what it would be like with her tonight. Dancing with her on stage at Whiskey River had been incredible—claiming her as mine with everyone watching. She was still mine, and I was going to make sure she did not slip away.

I had only slept without her for one night, and my body craved her. At this point, I didn’t care what I had to do to get her back. Time was running out.

I wanted her.

She had to be mine.

“Johnny? Let’s go,” Kevin called to me when we walked in. “Are you ready?”

“Yes. Where’s Amanda supposed to be?”

“Backstage for wardrobe. Go on, Amanda. The ladies are inside.”

Kevin’s tone was softer now. I was grateful he was kind enough not to lay into her as he normally did. I didn’t have to tell him why I slept in his guest room last night. He knew from the look in my eyes, and cut me some slack by not giving me the ‘I told you so’ lecture. I followed him to my dressing room to wait for the crew to do their setup. Fred and Larry stayed with us. Amanda went off somewhere backstage. After the crew did an initial setup, I went out for a sound check, and joined the entire group for a catered buffet lunch set up in the green room.

There wasn’t anything that could keep me away from Amanda. After we all ate and chatted, I asked her to come speak with me in my dressing room. She nodded and followed me, with Larry bringing up the rear. I led her inside, and told Larry to wait at the door before locking it behind me.

I was not going to second-guess myself around her. I took her hands, lifting them around my neck. Before I could lean down to kiss her, she reached up on her tiptoes and kissed me. I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her in tight. All I wanted to do was get closer; bury my nose in her hair; kiss her and put my hands all over her gorgeous body.

“I want you, Amanda.” I growled into her mouth. “I don’t care who’s watching.”

She pulled back slightly and looked at me. Her eyes were full of desire—and maybe something else. She tiptoed again, whispering into my ear, “I want you too.”

I was mesmerized from her voice.

She let out a breath on my neck and relaxed into my chest. I was not going to miss this chance. I leaned down and swept her up into my arms, carrying her over to the counter at one side of the room. I lowered my head and pulled her hair aside to gently kiss her neck. Touching her again sent me into overdrive. I leaned her back on the counter. She took my hands and placed each one on her breasts. I groaned in response, ducking to one breast, kissing her nipples through her shirt.

She pressed her breasts into my face, gripping my shoulder and pulling me in. After a few seconds of teasing her, she pushed me away gently and pulled her shirt over her head. She reached back and undid the clasp of her bra, exposing her gorgeous breasts to me. I was already rock hard, and she knew it. Her hand moved down my stomach and cupped my groin through my pants, making it throb with urgent need. My hands roamed on her breasts, and before long, I ducked down again to place my lips on one nipple. I licked and teased and sucked on her flesh, and her legs soon wrapped around my waist, pulling me in.

“God, I want you so bad, Johnny,” she said, and lifted my head to look in her eyes.

“Fuck,” I growled in a raspy voice, surprised and grateful she could forgive me this fully. “Amanda. I want you too. I want to taste you and make you come. I need to be deep inside you.”

She moaned and kissed me, tugging my t-shirt up over my head. I kissed her back with a fierceness I was already addicted to, invading her mouth with my tongue, claiming every spot I explored.

“Take me now, Johnny,” she hummed into my mouth. “We don’t have much time. I need your cock inside me so bad right now.”

I pulled from the kiss and leaned her further back on the counter. My hand slid up to undo the waistband of her jeans, peeling them off her with her panties. I felt so hot, so reckless, our eyes connecting in a dizzying gaze when I bent forward and lowered my head to her mound.

My strong hands spread her legs wide and pulled her ass forward to the edge of the counter, positioning her to take her pussy with my mouth. I squeezed the top of her thighs and slid my tongue across her folds, and over her swollen clit. It felt like I died and went to heaven to have her again. She looked on as my head dipped and rose between her legs, eyes lost in pleasure. My tongue only left her clit to dip into her soaking wet pussy. She writhed as I continued, bucking her hips for more contact every time I passed over the spot that drove her insane. She spread her legs wider, enjoying the moment, until her body froze for an instant, and shook as she came. I continued to lick and taste her afterwards, feasting on her until she begged me to fuck her hard.

I stood up and undid my belt and zipper, pushing my jeans and boxers down just enough to unleash my raging erection. She moaned again and spread her legs. I positioned my stiff cock to breach her folds, driving deep into her pussy. I grasped her hips and lifted her ass, sliding my hard cock into her tight, soaked channel. I pulled out slightly, and slid back in. I would have been gentle, but she couldn’t wait. She begged me to fuck her hard. So I let go of all restraint and thrust so deep into her, she covered her mouth to drown out her squeals of pleasure.

I gripped her waist and pulled her in tight, driving into her, right to the hilt as I got closer to my release. I growled out as I came, holding back the ear-piercing sounds dying to break free from my chest. She whimpered during these last few powerful thrusts, and her walls clench around my cock, her body shaking as she came again. After a short while, I lowered my upper body on top of her. She wrapped her arms around my chest, letting her legs drop. We were both spent.

“That was so good,” she whispered in my ear.

“It was.”

“We should get up.”

I kissed her shoulder and lifted off. “I’m just getting started, Amanda.”

“There’s no time.”

“Dammit. Okay, but I’m taking you on the plane ride home.”

“Mmmm,” she moaned as we gathered our clothes and got dressed. “Sounds like fun.”

I pulled her into my arms when we had put all or clothes back on. “I want to bend you over and take you again right now, Amanda.”

“There’s no time, Johnny,” she said, smiling up at me, running her fingers through my hair. “You’re lucky no one has come looking for us.”

“So we’re good?” I asked.

“Yes. We’re good.”

“You have no idea how hard I’m going to work to make it up to you when we get back to LA.”

“You don’t have to. You don’t owe me anything.”

That sounded strange.

“Of course I do. I’ll do what it takes to earn your trust again. Whatever it takes.”

“You don’t need my trust, Johnny.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just accept this for what it is. We have amazing sexual chemistry, and you’re great to hang out with.”

“Are you trying to tell me—”

She cut me off before I could finish. “Let’s not take it beyond that. It’s just a fling. Trust me, it’ll be simpler for both of us after this gig is done.”

My blood ran cold. My hands lost their grip around her waist. She kissed my cheek, whispering that she was looking forward to doing it again on the plane, and left my dressing room.

I scratched my head.

What the fuck just happened?

I
worked
with the sound crew again later on. Larry and Amanda stayed with me, and Fred briefed the security detail again. They had done another round of sweeps back stage. The curtains were finally closed and I went to wardrobe to get changed. I made a stop at the makeup artist’s room as well—that cut on the side of my head needed to be covered up. We were all ready. We waited backstage for the crew to do their final checks just before ticket holders began to arrive. Amanda stayed near me the entire time. She threw me off with this ‘It’s just a fling’ statement. I could barely think, never mind try to get my head in the game for performing.

She was wearing the same style of dress from the night before, except this one was a shade of red. I was just as turned on as I had been, but the confusion of what she told me added a different dimension. If she really meant what she said, I was back to square one.

Written off, just like that.

Just a fling.

Just sex.

Nothing more.

I watched her as she stood near my open dressing room door with Larry. Her walls were back up. It was worse than I thought.

The concert began with an opening act tonight to warm up the crowd, Eventually, the stage manager came back for us. We filed out to our waiting area backstage as the supporting act wrapped up. Moments later, the announcer came on and gave the standard introductory preamble, highlighting my career and life in a tidy thirty-second sound bite. The lights went low. It was time to go on. I shook my shoulders, trying to loosen up, but nothing helped. I was off my game.

I walked out onto the stage like broken Lorne—not rock star Johnny Q Venom.

The music started, the lights picked up, my cue came and went, and I stood there, frozen at center stage. The lights were too bright for me to see much past the first row. I assumed the sound manager was scrambling. The music restarted subtly. This time I got the cue and started singing. I saw Amanda in my periphery. She was dancing and lip-synching with the backup singers, on top of her game, unlike me.

I sang through the first song without any issue. On the second song, I missed a line and tried to make up for it by pointing to the audience to sing along. By the fourth song, I messed up part of the chorus and missed my hook to hit a low note at the end. For the crowd, the performance was seamless. For me, the band, Kevin, and certainly anyone who knows the music business, I bombed on stage. As the music for the last song started, I was actually hoping the stalker would show up to put me out of my misery. This was a first. The crowd was still completely engaged and excited, but I knew better.

I sucked ass tonight.

Throughout the performance, after my first glance back at Amanda, I refused to look at her again. It would only make it worse. The backup singers didn’t save me like they had at Whiskey River. After the last song before the break, the audience roared and whistled for more. I knew I had not earned it. I waved and left the stage, struggling to keep my head up and not let the shame double me over right there.

Larry, Kevin and Fred were waiting off stage, and took me back to my room. I heard Amanda calling to me from behind, but I kept walking. I didn’t stop until I was inside the dressing room. I pushed into the room with Kevin at my heels.

He said nothing for a while.

“If you’re going to scream at me, Kevin, you’d better wait outside.”

“The show’s not over, kiddo,” he said.

“I wish it were.”

“You recovered well, Lorne.”

“I sucked.”

“Yes you did, son. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Look, I need some time to get it together. Can you give me a minute? Make sure there are no interruptions. Not even Amanda.”

He put a solid arm on my shoulders—his silent but firm show of support.

“Sure.”

I locked the door when he left, grabbing a bottle of water. I drank it all and sat in the sofa to mentally prepare myself—for real this time.