Wicked Fate (The Wicked Trilogy) (41 page)

“I don’t know what to tell you, except I’m sorry.”

I refuse to add another passenger to my secret train. There are already too many people who know about my abilities.  I feel bad for “enchanting” Ben
, if that’s even what
I did. I have no idea if I did or not
, I
just kissed him.
I, of all people, know how powerful a kiss between me and Adam can be. B
ut he’s not Adam!

“Don’t apologize. I don’t
think it was a mistake and I don’t want you to think that either,” he kneels in front of me. “
I know I have
the worst timing, I
know you’re
going through a lot right now. But just know that when you’re ready,
I’ll be here. I can’t
even believe I’m saying this,
but I’ll wait for you.
Since mom and Bernie live here, w
e’ll b
e seeing a lot of each other. You need to know that I’ll be here
for you whether you need a friend’s shoulder to cry on or more. You just say the word
s—and
I’m there.”

Before I can respond he leans in, kisses
me o
n the cheek, and walks away. 

It’s funny, a
year ago not one person paid me any attention and now I seem to be the center of everyon
e’s world.
I don’t like it, I don’t like it one bit!

Another week passes, and in three days Ben i
s goi
ng back to school. I join
Bernie and her family for dinner in the di
ning room. It’s
nice to sit
and have a family dinner. I’ve never
experienced
anything like it before.

Ben and I are getting along well. He’
s
a great guy and we’ve sort of
becom
e friends in the last week. He’s an outsider—
someone w
ho didn’t know Adam that I can talk to. I tell
him mostly everything, leaving ou
t the huge details that involve
my magic
.

We have a lot in common so we have a lot to talk about. Bernie’
s hardly home
anymore since her and Kale are
always
together and Lesley works
a lot.
Needless to say, since he and I spend
a lot of time together, it isn’t uncomfortable at all.

School i
s f
inally out and even though I’ve
practically missed the last two months
, I still manage
to pass—so that’s good. Another good thing is Ben’s
te
aching me to drive. It helps keep my mind off of things when I’m busy. Everything seems to be getting better, except for the fact that I’m
done with all the
journals and I didn’t find any
spell to bring back my eye.

It’s
depressing.

The day before he leaves, Ben gives me a surprise.

“Follow me,” he says.

I follow him and soon we’
re standing in the middle of the garden where Adam gave me my necklace.

“Close your eyes.”

I do
and the memories of Adam saying those exact words in this exact garden s
mack me in the face. It’s
been nearly three
days since I’ve
cried for Adam
, I’ll definitely be crying tonight.

“Hold your arms out.”

I hold my arms out and soon I feel
something small, fuzzy,
and wiggly in my arms. I pop my eyes open and look
at the pure
white kitten that’s now
claw
ing its way up my shirt. It’s so cute and fluffy. It stares
back at me with ice blue eyes and immediately captur
es
my heart.

“I was going to get you a dog, but when I was walking through the cat section I saw her and her eyes reminded me of yours.”

I throw my arms around Ben and hug him hard.  She’s exactly what I need. A friend that I can
talk to that
can
never tell anyone my secrets. Sh
e would replace Sire, if that’
s even possible
. Sire was a pretty great dog, even though he
was
technically my long lost father.

Ben hugs
me b
ack, holding me close and I feel
safe. Safe, the way
I felt in Adam’s arms. I pull away and smile
at him
. So quickly he’s become a best friend to me.

“Than
k you so much, Ben. She’s beautif
ul!”

“She’s all yours…o
nce you agree to one thing.”

I look
at him confused.

“What do I have to agr
ee to
?”

“School is having
this end of the semester thing—and I kind of need a date. So
I was thinking…”

“What kind of end
of the semester thing?” I ask
suspiciously.

“Well, it’s a formal dance type of end of the semester thing.”

“I can’t! I mean…I don’t know—I
can’t dance! I’ve never been to any kind of dance. I’ve never worn anything formal in all my life. Look at
me!” I hold my arms out.
“
I’m a jeans and t-shirt girl.”

“Oh come on
,
Mage
. P
lease! I really need you to do this for me. I haven’t asked anyone els
e and now it’s too late. Plus, I
want you to go.”

Ben’s
been my roc
k over the past week or so. I’ve
cried on his should
er many times. The least I can do i
s attend a stupid dance wi
th him. It’s not like there’s
going to be people from my school there anyway.
No one there will know me.

“Fine, but I’m not wearing heels.”

He laughs at that and gi
ve
s
the kitten in my lap a quick petting.

We play
around in the garden for a while trying to figure out
a name for the new kitten. A solid white cat is
n’t the easiest thing
in the world to name. I watch
as Ben an
d the little white kitten play
in
the grass in the small garden.
I
wish
I
could see Adam and Sire frolick
ing in the grass again. I miss them all so much. I’d
give anything right now to be able to just see a ghost, any ghost.

The l
ittle powder white kitten jumps
into my la
p at that exact moment and I kno
w what her name
has
to be.

“I think I’ll name her Ghost.”

“Ghost?
Okay…y
eah, it does kind of fit her, huh?”

“Absolutely.”

That night while
lying in m
y bed with the little fur ball, I wonder what Adam’s doing. Is he
here with me now? How does he feel about Ben and me
being friends? Is he pleased that I have a new friend or is he
angry about it?

I try to imagine how I’d feel if it were
me in his position. How would it feel to watch Adam spend time
with another girl? I decide
that
if they were
just
friends I’d be okay with it. I figure Adam wouldn’t want me to be alone. So as long as there’s no more kisses, what I have with Ben i
s acce
ptable. I fall asleep feeling relieved.

I wa
ke up in the garden with Adam st
anding in front of me. I reach out and hug him like I’ve
never hugged him before. It
feels
so good
to be in his arms again.

I pull back and look
at his fac
e. His green eyes shine
back a
t me before he leans down and kisses
me softly.

I’m lost all over again in his kisses. They are
soft and passionat
e. I reach
my
arms around his neck and pull
h
im closer.  I feel
his hands on the sides of my face.

The kiss deepens and soon my lips start to hurt—he’s kissing me too hard. I try to pull away, but he won’t allow it. He hol
d
s my face close as
he abu
ses my lips. Moaning noises come from my mouth as I try harder to pull away. I taste
blo
od in my mouth and suddenly I’m afraid.

What’
s wrong with him?

His hands slowly move down from my face until they’
re on my neck. Suddenly
, his hands get tighter. He pulls
away and the look on his face i
s unfathomab
le. His beautiful green eyes have turned red and he’
s
snarling in my face as he chokes
the life out of me.

I wake sitting straight up. I still feel like I’m suffocating so I take in big gulps of air. I can’t
calm
down no matter how hard I try. I’m already in my defensive stance because I’m scared. I don’t know what I’m scared of but there’s no way I’m sleeping in this
room alone after a nightmare like that.

What did it mean? I
s Adam upset about me kissing Ben?

I grab
the little kitte
n from off of my bed and head
downstairs to t
he library. I don’t know why I go to the library—it’s habit, I guess. It’s not like I’
d be able to see Thaddeus and have a long heartfelt t
alk with him. I miss him too.
Thaddeus was the first person to really know me. I could talk to him about anything.

I open
the door to the library and with just a thought t
he lights turn on. I smile to myself. It feels
good to use my magic again. It’
s
nice to know that I still can
.

I didn’t notice
the little table lamp that was lit in the midd
le of the floor and I gasp when I find
Ben lying on my old
makeshift bed of pillows readin
g a book.

“T
hat was pretty cool,” he smirks.

“What?” I ask
in a rush.

“The lights turned on the minu
te you walked into the room. You
didn’t even touch the light switch.”

“Oh, that,” I panic
a little. “That’s just a motion sensor that we had set up in here
for my grandfather.” I stutter and scramble
for an answer.

“Uh huh, that’s funny. It didn’t turn on when I came in.”

“Oh. Well
,
it might nee
d to be checked then,” I change
the subject quick
ly as I let Ghost go and watch
her run over to him. “So
,
what are you doing up so late?”

“I can’t sleep. I thought I’
d try to read something boring. That usually helps.”

“Yeah, I can’t sleep either,” I say
.

“Probably for different reasons than me
,
I’m sure.”

“What do you mean?” I ask
.

“Nothing,”
he looks back at his book.

I don’t
push
it any further.

“Once you get back to school with your head stuck in all those big boring books you’ll forget all about little ole me, at le
ast until dance time,” I laugh
trying to make the mood in the room lighter.

“It’s not funny, Mage. I know it’s not far and I can
visit when I get a few minutes, but I’m going to miss you. Are you going to miss me?”

The question catches me off guard, because the truth is, I’m going to miss him a lot. It’s nice to have him around.

“Of course
,
I’m going to miss you.”

“But not the way you miss him?”

Anger sho
o
t
s
through me.

How dare he even ask that?

He knows how touchy the Adam subject is with me. I feel guilty enough that I spend
so much
time with Ben while Adam watches
, b
ut asking me to choose who I’ll miss more i
s completely unfa
ir. The situations are totally different. For one, while I care a great deal for Ben, I’m madly in love with Adam.  Two, Adam’
s dead, lik
e never coming back! Adam isn’t
thirty minutes down the road at colleg
e swamped with assignments. He’
s dead!