Wicked Games (17 page)

He started pacing the floor, keeping his eyes on hers,
as he kept talking, “Brianna, you willingly gave up your life to save me –
twice!
You are so much stronger than I ever gave you credit for. I thought I was strong, but you seemed to be just fine without me. I need to understand how that is.”

Brianna was still and silent
, as the tears continued to flow. Hearing Noah describe what he went through, the pain she put him through, tore her heart out. She wanted to explain, to give him some consolation without making excuses. She thought the best way to do that was to just state it.

With a watery voice, she started,
“I’d appreciate it if you’d hear me out now. I will tell you whatever you want to know. I want you to know that I don’t mean for
anything
I say to sound like an excuse.  I’m only trying to explain my thoughts and feelings, ok?”

Noah nodded and closed the distance between them, moving back between her legs and rested his hands on her hips. He kissed her forehead and waited for her to gather her thoughts.

With a small smile, she said, “I’m sure you knew, but I was head over heels in love with you when we first met. I had to leave before you returned from your mission, and it killed me to wear that blindfold.  Thinking I might pass you on your way back, get just a glimpse at you, or maybe a wave before I left. And it wasn’t
luck
that I wasn’t with another guy when you walked in that bar, Noah. It was
love.
There was no one else for me after we made love that night in the desert.”

He cocked an eyebrow in disbelief
, but as agreed, didn’t say anything. “There wasn’t. I had offers, a few guys asked me out, but I never went. No one else even held a candle to you. And, I’m sure you know this by now, but just in case, I never cheated on you with Richard. Or anyone else for that matter. Not even in the three years we were apart. That day I went to talk to you and you were busy, I thought you were about to leave me. I had no idea you thought I was seeing him.”

He knew she was telling the truth
, but he still couldn’t believe his ears.
She remained true to me all that time?
He didn’t have to say anything for Brianna to know what he was thinking. “My heart still belonged to you, Noah. No one else could ever take your place.  And even though you didn’t know, I still thought of myself as…well, yours, and I would never betray you like that.”

“I know it feels like I did betray you
, and I can’t blame you for feeling that way. I guess in a way you’re right. I let you believe a lie, even if it was meant for your good. Richard was there when I went on that last assignment. I didn’t even know that at first, though. I met my informant and he told me where to find the rest of the evidence. Then I went back to my hotel.”

“Richard had already figured out I was investigating him
, and he knew I had evidence that proved his guilt and your innocence. He tried to convince me that you were in just as deep as he was and if I revealed him, it would destroy you, too. He tried to kill me over there, and he would have if he could’ve found the flash drive. Only I didn’t have it with me. I had hid it here in the house before I left. I don’t know why I did that. I’d never done that before, but something just told me I needed to.”

A shudder ran through her body at the thought of what would’ve happened had she took it with her.  “
Anyway, I escaped from him and took a taxi to the airport. I was running back to you – to tell you everything that had happened. But Richard’s men got to the airport before I did, and I couldn’t find a way in without them seeing me. So I missed the flight. I was hiding outside the airport, crying as I watched it leave without me. Then it exploded.”

She was silent for a minute, tears flowing for all the people who died on that flight when that explosion
was meant for her alone. Noah sensed her pain and lovingly rubbed her arms while he patiently waited for her to continue.

Sniffling and taking a deep, calming breath, she said, “At the time, I didn’t think about how strange it was that a
US Marshal
walked out of the airport in the Middle East. My first thought was just that he could get me home to you. So, I gave him the condensed version of what had happened. It wasn’t until later that I realized he asked me if I had the evidence on me. 

When I said it was still in the US, that’s
when he agreed to get me home. But he wouldn’t let me come back here to you. With everything that had happened – Richard trying to kill me, the plane exploding, all the evidence being here…He’d spun a great story of why I had to go into WITSEC to protect you, especially since Richard was implicating you.

“
The Marshal kept asking for all the evidence the whole three years, but I didn’t know why until recently. He didn’t believe I had given him everything, because I never found
his
name in it. Well, you heard the rest of that conversation when I was in the car with him. But Richard knew I still had it, too, and he wanted it.

“
Stevens knew Richard wasn’t on the plane, even though he showed on the manifest. I didn’t know that for sure until that morning when Rebel said Richard was presumed dead, but not from the plane exploding. When Richard showed up in the paper, I knew he’d found me. And since I was already ‘dead,’ the only way he could get me to cooperate was through you.

“
I’m sorry
doesn’t even begin to make up for what I did. There are no words to even explain how bad I feel for what you went through. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I had run home to you anyway and figured out something else. Those three years were pure hell for me, Noah.

“Knowing that you were only a plane ride away from me haunted me. I cried myself to sleep
every single night
, wishing you were there with me, wondering whom you were with, and knowing you had to move on with your life. The only thing that kept me going was the small hope I had that we could be together again one day.

“
I was just
so alone
, Noah. I thought you were leaving me. We had become so distant in those last few weeks. I wanted to talk to you and tell you everything, but you weren’t really talking to me. You had even quit sleeping in the bed with me. You started taking night shifts and staying gone. I didn’t think you wanted me to live here with you anymore.

“
Then when I was in some third world country, Richard tried to kill me. Then the plane I was supposed to be on exploded and to this day, I don’t even know who did that. The US Marshal told me all these terrible things that would happen to you because of me, if I didn’t go along with the story.”

She shook her head as she said,
“There’s still no excuse for hurting you like that. I just want you to try to understand that I couldn’t let them destroy you because of me. You would’ve gone to prison, or they would’ve killed you. And it would’ve been entirely my fault. I believed they would leave you alone if everyone thought I was dead. I thought you were leaving me anyway, so I guess I didn’t really think you would’ve taken the news that badly. I only wanted to protect you, Noah, because I love you so much.”

Noah leaned in to kiss her, but she gently stopped him by putting her palms on his chest. 

He felt her back as it went straight as a rod and her muscles tensed. “You asked me to marry you, to have a family with you, and there’s nothing I want more. But there is something I need to know now. I need you to be honest - with yourself as much as with me.”

He nodded and then said, “What do you need to know?”

“I need to know if…” her mouth was suddenly dry. 

She didn’t want to finish the question
, because she was afraid of his answer.
It could change everything
. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, automatically protecting their baby that was growing inside her. Tears filled her eyes, as she looked at his handsome face and felt the same anxiety rising in her chest that she felt every night she had slept without him.

Noah was trying his best to figure out what was on her mind that had upset her so much. He saw her hand move to her stomach, as if she were shielding their baby from something hurtful, and saw the tears welling up
, even as she tried to fight it. He kept his voice low and soothing, “What, baby? Tell me what you need to know.”

She had to know for sure before they could move forward. She knew she had to get the words out.  “
I need to know if you can forgive me.” 

Noah didn’t answer
, but his eyes were silently questioning her.

She took a deep breath, “I know you love me and care about me. I know you want
our baby. But love isn’t enough to make a happy marriage and a happy home. If you can’t forgive me, if this is always between us, we can’t ever really be happy. Everything has happened so quickly with us since I came back here.  Maybe you should take some time to be alone and think about it. I will understand if you do.” 

Noah finally answered, “You’re exactly right.”

She tentatively asked, “About?”

“We can’t be happy without forgiveness. There hasn’t been one day that I haven’t loved you. Not one day that I didn’t want to be with you. I’ve
never
wanted you to leave, Bri. Forgive me for ever making you feel that way.”

Brianna stared at him like he had lost his mind.  That sexy smile crept across his face.

“And I will forgive you if you promise to
never
,
ever
, leave me like that again.” His face turned serious, as he punctuated each word, “Brianna. I.
Can’t
. Lose.  You. Again.”

“I promise, Noah. I promise,” she cried
, as she pulled him to her. He kissed her and pulled her into his strong arms.

**************

“Noah?” Brianna’s tone was cautious when she approached him as he was working in his home office.

He looked up from his computer screen and smiled, “H
ey, baby. Come here.” She walked to him and he pulled her into his lap. He wrapped one arm behind her and the other hand rested on her baby bump. He kissed her and asked, “What’s on your mind?”

“I was just working on the wedding invitations. 
I know you’ve never wanted to talk about it before, but I just wanted to ask. Are you sure you don’t want to invite your family to the wedding?”

Noah looked down at his hand
, as it rubbed across her belly, “The only family I need is already right here with me.” Brianna’s hand gently lifted his chin up to look at his eyes. 

Noah explained, “Every family has a black sheep, right? In my family, I guess that’s me.
When I chose the Army over a career in my father’s business, he told me to never come back, so I didn’t. You, our baby, Bull, Rebel, Shadow, and the rest of the guys – the ones who are always here for me -
that’s
who my real family is, Bri.”

Her heart broke for him
, as she tried to put herself in his place. She tried to picture how she would’ve reacted, if her father had disowned her when she refused to work for him and became an investigative reporter instead. She couldn’t imagine her father ever saying she could never come back, then immediately thought of the baby growing inside her. 
What kind of parents could do that to their child?

“
Do they even know where you are?”

She pulled back and looked at him
, as he answered. “Couldn’t say. But they don’t live too far from here. If they really wanted to find me, my dad has the resources to do it.” Noah’s voice was flat, but Brianna could feel the undercurrent of hurt in him.

“I was just thinking about how excited my parents are about the baby. After all this time, I bet your family would be thrilled to see you and find out they’ll be grandparents soon.”

He shook his head, “I don’t think so, baby.”

She put her arms around his neck and held him tight as she promised, “You will always have me, Noah.” She felt his arms tighten around her. “And if you ever decide to talk to them, I will be at your side.”

Brianna’s
wedding planner arranged their late August wedding with seemingly little effort. Brianna chose a barefoot beach wedding at sunset. Her mother, Diane, and her sister, Missy, both helped Brianna get ready. Brianna loved spending this special time with them. She was about to marry the man of her dreams, and she had her entire family there to share the big day. 

“An outdoor wedding.
In late August. In Miami.  Whose idea was this anyway? I can’t do anything with my hair!” Missy had been in front of the mirror for twenty minutes working on the same section of uncooperative hair.

Brianna laughed and threw a hair clip at her.  “It was
my
idea, thank you very much!”

Missy picked up the clip and pulled the section of hair back. With the snap of the clip, she said,
“Perfect! Thanks, sissy!” Looking at the time, Missy touched Brianna’s shoulder and her voice hitched when she spoke, “Bri, it’s time to get your dress on.”

When Brianna looked up at her sister, tears sprang to her eyes
, as she saw tears glistening in Missy’s eyes. Blinking back tears, Brianna teasingly chided Missy, “Don’t cry! You’re going to make me cry, and I just finished my makeup!”

Brianna stood and hugged Missy. Within a couple of seconds, their mother had wrapped her arms around them both, “I love my girls!”

Missy helped Brianna put her wedding gown on. It was sleeveless with a straight A-line fit, and stopped just above mid-thigh. The folds in the fabric lined each side of the dress, starting just above her breasts and extended to her hips in a rounded pattern.  The folds gathered at her midline, just below the V-shape in the neckline, by a diamond and pearl encrusted pendant.

Diana took Brianna’s hands in hers and held her arms out to the sides as she beheld her daughter.  “You look absolutely elegant, Brianna.” Tears spilled over Diane’s eyelashes and she dabbed them with a tissue. “I can’t tell you how blessed I feel – to have you back, to see you get married
, and to know I’ll be a grandmother soon.” She pulled Brianna in for a tight hug as she whispered, “I’m so proud of you, and I love you so much, Bri.”

Brianna c
ouldn’t speak. It took every ounce of energy to fight back the tears. So she hugged her mom even tighter. Diane spoke for her, “
Momma knows
, Bri,” and smiled, as she pulled back from her. “I know, I know – you just finished your makeup.”

Just when she thought she would get out of her dressing room without crying, her father showed up at the door.
“You are absolutely gorgeous, Brianna. Noah is a very lucky man.” Brianna saw water shimmer in Evan’s eyes, and the first tears fell before she could stop them when he finished speaking, “How can I give you away? You were
my
girl first.”

Brianna’s arms flew around his neck and she squeezed him tight. She managed to squeak out, “I’ll
always
be your girl, daddy,” and kissed his cheek.

“All right, enough of the water works! You’re
going to be late for your own wedding!” Missy was back in charge and shooing everyone out of the dressing room. She quickly touched up Brianna’s makeup and said, “You look perfect. Ready?”

“Ready.” 

Brianna and Missy joined Evan outside the dressing room and walked to the staging area, where the wedding coordinator, Emily, was waiting with Brianna’s other bridesmaids, her sisters, Jessie and Ashley. They hugged Brianna just as Bull, Rebel, and Shadow walked up. 

The three men pulled Brianna to the side. Bull kissed her cheek as he started, “Sunny, you are glowing. Really. We
have a gift for you, and we thought you may want to wear it for the ceremony.”

Shadow pulled a square velvet box from his pocket and opened it. Brianna gasped when she saw the necklace. The elegant dog tag
hung on a white gold chain by a diamond studded lobster clasp. The front of the dog tag was polished white gold, the edges were lined with diamonds, and an infinity symbol was engraved in the middle.

Rebel
removed it from the box and said, “Read the back.”

“Out loud,” called Missy, who was obviously eavesdropping on their conversation.
Everyone laughed and gathered closer to Brianna.

Brianna turned the dog tag over
, and her hand flew up to cover her heart. She read aloud, “
A brother’s love never ends
.” She looked at each man, tears brimming again, unable to speak for a moment.  “I love it. I – I can’t thank you enough.” 

She hugged each man, thanking each
individually. With a kiss on the cheek, she whispered, “I love you.” 

Bull
then took the necklace and clasped it around her neck. “It looks great on you, Sunny.”

Emily said, “It’s time everyone.”
She motioned for the music to start and sent Jessie and Rebel down the white carpet towards the minister. When Jessie was a quarter of the way down, Ashley and Shadow followed. Bull held out the crook of his arm to Missy, she slipped her hand in, and they started their walk down the aisle.

The music changed to announce the bride
, as Brianna slipped her arm in Evan’s. He looked at her and asked, “Ready, sweetheart?”

She took a deep breath and said, “Ready, Daddy.” 

They walked out, arm in arm, and Brianna saw the perfect sunset. The sky was different shades of pink and purple, as the sun shimmered on the water, hanging just over the horizon of the ocean. The slight ocean breeze made the humidity and heat at least tolerable. 

As they turned the corner to face Noah,
Brianna’s heart leapt at the sight of him. Noah wore a sky blue short-sleeve button down with white cargo shorts. His dark tan against the blue shirt made him look even sexier than normal. She could feel his eyes moving over her, taking her in, and she saw the admiration in his face. She smiled, as she started walking towards him and towards her future.

Noah couldn’t move or breathe when Brianna stepped into his line of sight.
Everyone else faded away when he saw her, like they were the only two people in the world. She was more radiant than anyone he had ever seen. And she was all his. His chest swelled with pride, as she walked down the aisle, to him, to be his, forever.

Evan visibly had a hard time releasing her when the minister asked who gave her away. His voice was strong as he
responded, “Her mother and I do.” But Noah saw Evan squeeze her arm tighter as he said it.  As Evan’s eyes met Noah’s, the unspoken message was unmistakable, “
Take care of my daughter, or I’ll take care of you.
” Noah nodded, hiding his smile, and took Brianna’s hands.

After a few words from the minister, he said, “I understand the bride and groom have written their own vows.” He nodded to Noah to start reciting his vows.

Bull handed Noah the ring as Noah spoke, “Brianna, I promise to be the best husband I can possibly be. You will have all of my love, all of my heart, and all of me for the rest of my life. I will do everything in my power to protect you, provide for you, and make you the happiest woman in the world, every single day. I love you…today, tomorrow, and forever.” Noah pushed the ring on her finger, as she watched breathlessly.

Tears were brimming in Brianna’s eyes as she took Noah’s hand, sliding the ring on his finger.
“Noah, since the first day we met, you have been in my heart, on my mind, and my only love. I promise to stand by you, be your soul mate, and support and love you in every way possible. My life starts and ends with you.  From this day forward, you are my everything. I will freely give you all of my love, every day, for the rest of my life.”

The preacher declared, “You may now kiss the bride
.” Noah took Brianna in his arms and kissed her deeply, as the guests cheered. After what felt like forever of taking pictures, the wedding party moved to the reception area. Their friends and family watched as Noah and Brianna took the floor for their first dance as Brian Adams’ song
I Do It For You
started playing.

Noah wrapped his arms around her waist
, as she slipped her arms around his neck. He pulled her as close to him as possible and leaned his head down to whisper in her ear. “I love you,
Mrs. Steele
. I can’t wait to get you away from all these people.” 

The low timbre of his voice and warm breath so close sent shivers down her spine.
She turned her head slightly and kissed him lightly at first, then more passionately.  As she pulled back, she whispered, “Let’s go find a broom closet somewhere.” She felt his chuckle rumble through his chest.

T
hey managed to stay through the rest of the reception and made their exit, as the guests showered them with birdseed on their way to the limo waiting to take them on their honeymoon. 

No one
noticed the lurking figure watching from the shadows.

The End