Wicked Games (8 page)

Noah finally broke the silence.
“When did you last eat?”

Now
Brianna looked puzzled. “Umm, I don’t know. I guess on the plane yesterday.”

Noah’s look didn’t soften as he asked,
“A pack of peanuts? That doesn’t count. When did you last eat real food?”

“Uh, sometime yesterd
ay,” she glanced at the clock. It was already after 2 a.m., “Well, I guess day before yesterday, now,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

“What can I fix you?”

She eyed him for a second, refusing to get pulled into any manipulation tactics. She was answering his questions. He didn’t have to play on her emotions in some kind of cruel joke. 

“Look, I don’t know what your angle is. You don’t have to play mind games with me. I will tell you whatever you want to know. Just be sure you want the truth before you ask the question.”

“Right now, my only angle is to feed you.”

Trying to guard her heart, she hardened her resolve.
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry. Don’t have much of an appetite.”

Noah kept his gaze leveled on her
, but there was a change in his eyes. They weren’t quite as hard or angry anymore. He didn’t trust her, but she didn’t see hatred either. She could tell he was deciding what his next question would be. She saw a shift briefly flicker in his eyes, as he made his decision, and then he seemed to harden again. She felt butterflies in her stomach at the anxiety of what was to come.

“I
talked to Richard. I went by his hotel suite to see him.”

“Oh? What did y’all t
alk about?” She tried to sound nonchalant, but a small, lingering doubt still nagged her in the back of her mind.

He saw the same signs of terror welling up in her again and wondered
why Richard’s name kept causing a change in her demeanor. So, of course, he pushed on.

“Different things.
Mostly about you.”

Her big blue eyes filled with tears
, but she fought them back. He knew she was trying so hard to hold it together, but he didn’t know why Richard affected her so much. And that really pissed him off.

“What does he want you to do
?” Her voice cracked on her last word, and she swallowed hard.

“What do you think he wants?” Noah knew how to interrogate people and get the information he wanted. He could almost always turn their questions back on them
, so that they actually answered their own question. This method gave him more information than any question he could think of alone.

“I’d say
, he wants to make a deal with you…a trade.”

Noah narrowed his eyes and clinched his jaw so tight it
made his whole head hurt. The muscles in his jaws twitched, and he balled his hands into tight fists.  But he remained quiet, knowing if he didn’t push the questioning too hard, she would fill in the silence for him.

And she didn’t disappoint
him. Her voice was soft but resolute. “I’ve actually been thinking about this. Especially since that guy took a shot at you tonight.”

She took a deep breath, obviously not wanting to continue her thoughts
, but he watched her steel her nerves and continue on anyway. Noah saw the woman he had loved standing before him. He watched her gather the courage he had never given her enough credit for. He watched as she drew her strength to stand tall in front of three large, intimidating men. He watched her take a deep, calming breath, and he instantly knew she had made a decision he wasn’t going to like.

Brianna took a couple of steps closer to him, wringing her hands
, and still trying to fight back the tears that were now rolling down her cheeks. Her watery voice quivered as she asked, “If you agree to the trade, will
you
be safe?”

Noah nodded,
but he wasn’t sure he could speak, even if his life depended on it. He had a really bad feeling in the pit of his stomach about the direction this conversation was headed. She looked down for just a second, contemplating the information, and then looked him square in the eyes.

“
Then I want you to agree to it. If you believe him, that he’ll leave you alone and you’ll be safe, you have to agree to it.” Unshed tears glistened in her eyes, and Noah could only watch as they fell down her face.

Bull had been watching the exchange. He knew what Noah was doing
, but had no idea what Brianna meant. Whatever the hell it was couldn’t be good, though, so he butted into the conversation. 

Bull made no attempt to hide his contempt for her. His voice and his eyes were hard as he demanded,
“Brianna – what the hell are you talking about? What fucking trade?”

She looked at Bull and took a deep inhale, “My life.” Then
she looked at Noah. He dreaded the words he now knew would follow. “For Noah’s.”

Noah kept his face unreadable
, but his heart thumped against his ribcage. He knew he had a bad feeling about this conversation, but he hadn’t considered this turn of events. His mind was racing to put the pieces together. Her questions about Richard, the terror in her eyes when he first said he’d take her to Richard, and this revelation only led to one conclusion. He knew Richard was involved. 

Rebel’s deep voice reverberated through the kitchen, “
Your life
? Reaper, what the hell is going on?  What is she talking about?”

Bull chimed in, “There’s no way we would let anyone get to Reaper. What kind of bullshit are you up to,
Brianna
? What are you trying to do to him?” His voice was rich with hatred and close to yelling. 

As he took steps towards her, Brianna absently backed up a couple of steps. She felt the pangs of guilt
and pain in her heart at knowing she’d lost his trust.  The look on his face scared her. She had never seen him like this before, especially towards her.

Brianna tried to keep her voice calm and not add to the anger growing in the kitchen, “I know you don’t believe me, but I’m not up to anything. I
really tried to do what was…best…for everyone, considering.   I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed all of you. It has
killed
me to stay away for the last 3 years, but I had to, it was the only way to protect you. When I saw Richard was out of hiding, I knew he would come after Noah to get to me. I’m trying to
help
Noah.”

Bull countered, “Bullshit! You’re full of shit!”  Turning to Noah, Bull continued, “Reaper, man, don’t fall for this-,“ as he pointed to Brianna while he considered his next expletive. Brianna’s hands
were steepled over her nose and mouth, her eyes closed, but her tears increased. 

“Enough, Bull.”  Noah didn’t yell
, but the curt tone of his voice left no room for argument.

Before a brawl ensued in his kitchen over the bomb Brianna just dropped on them
and Bull’s resulting outburst, Noah told Bull and Rebel to go home and get some rest. They all needed sleep and they would finish the conversation later that day. Bull and Rebel both gave Noah their secret code look before they left. Brianna didn’t know what it meant, but at this point, she didn’t think it really mattered. 

She had made her decision and she was
at peace with it. There was just one more thing that she really wanted first. She stood at the base of the staircase, as Noah reset the alarm system. 

He turned to her and said, “
You found your pajamas, the rest of your clothes are in the guest bedroom closet. You should go on up and get some sleep.” 

“Y
ou - you kept my clothes?” Surprise echoed in her voice, but Noah couldn’t respond with anything more than a nod. He had kept them all these years.  They had stayed in his closet until he could no longer stand the sight of them and the memories they held.  He had his housekeeper move them to the other bedroom. To this day, he still couldn’t bring himself to part with all that he had left of her.

Why would he keep them?
She bit her bottom lip and pulled it into her mouth. He knew that look, she was nervous about something. She only did that when she was nervous.

“What is it, Brianna?”

“I, uh…was just wondering….why you didn’t stay at your,” she swallowed hard, “girlfriend’s house tonight.”

“Girlfriend?”
He had a hint of confusion in his voice.

She looked at him with a look that said she knew he was lying. “The girl you were with at the banquet.
”

He sighed
, but didn’t take his eyes from hers.  “She’s not my girlfriend. She wants to be, but she’s not.”

She looked
at him and cocked one eyebrow. “I overheard people at the party talking. They said you would be spending the night at Alexa’s house
again
tonight.”

He let out a long, loud huff and explained. “I have
from time to time, yes. Only at her house. She’s never stayed here. She’s never been in our – uh, my bed.”

Brianna nodded
, but looked so sad. He still wasn’t sure what all was really going on, and he didn’t know what to feel about her. So many questions swirled through his mind.
Why would she leave me like that? Why would she let me believe she was dead for the last three years? Why did she break in my house?  And if she were the bad guy here, why would she be so willing to give her life for mine?

He was still standing at the alarm pad,
his hand on his hip, and he tried to look anywhere but at her.  She looked like his Brianna again. And despite everything that had happened, it was killing him to be so close to her, but feel so far away. He had mourned her for so long and had dreamed that she would just show up one day, that this was all just a bad dream. 

But he’d had to move on and get past her.
He’d built up his business and was good at it. The thought of her being in witness protection instead of in
his
protection was a complete insult to him and his abilities. She put her trust in someone else. Someone she didn’t know and who didn’t love her. Another man who hadn’t been forced to live without her for the last three years. 

His anger had been simmering up to this point
, but it suddenly reached a boiling point.

“You know, Brianna, I’m still
really
angry
. Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? The plane you were on, or I thought you were on,
exploded!
I went to your memorial service. Your friends…
and your family –
they were so hurt! And you’ve been alive and well, all this time, hiding in Colorado! While we all dealt with your death! How am I supposed to deal with this?”

Her
voice was so low, so soft, so…weak, he barely heard her from across the room. “I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t have a choice, Noah. I don’t know what to say.”

“What if that isn’t good enough? I deserve a better answer than that! Hell, even Bull and Rebel deserve a better answer than
that
. You left all of us.  But, what about me?
Me?
All I get is ‘I didn’t want to hurt you’?
But you did!”

He knew he was ran
ting in half-finished thoughts, but there was just too much unfinished business to hold it in.

“It would’ve put your life in danger if –“

He was so close to exploding. “What exactly did I do for a living when you met me? What do I do for a living
now
? Don’t give me that bullshit! You didn’t trust me enough to protect you! But you trusted a stranger to do it.”

She knew better than to meet the
hurt and anger in his tone of voice with her own. Keeping her voice as low as possible, she tried to explain. “I know, Noah, and you’re a pro. The difference is…you had a good idea of who your enemy was when we first met.”

“And now I don’t. Is that right? Is that what I’m supposed to believe?” 

She crossed her arms around her body, as if she was trying to hold herself together in one piece.  “Noah, try to remember how it was between us.  Before any of this happened. You had
no doubt
that I loved you then, did you?”

“I
believed
you did.” From his choice of words, she knew he meant that at the time he believed it, but he wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Think about it
, for just a second, Noah.  Knowing how I felt about you, why would I give up everything,
everyone
in my life, unless I had no other choice? You…the guys…
my whole family
, Noah.  Everyone who ever meant anything to me! I gave up
everything
and have been alone all this time.
You know me
better than anyone. How could I have done that if there was
any
other choice?”

Noah took in her words, trying to consider every angle. He felt like he’d been fooled once and didn’t like playing the fool. But right now, he couldn’t come up with any other reason than the one she was giving. Not completely conceding, he said, “I guess.”

“Let me ask it this way. What would
you
have done to keep me safe….back when…when you still loved me?” She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying again, but failed miserably.

Angry that she would even question his love for her, he bit out, “I would have done
whatever it took,
and you damn well know it.”

Nodding, she said, “Exactly, Noah. Whatever it took. Regardless of the consequences
you’d face.  Regardless of the pain it would cause you. I know you would have. I would do whatever it took to protect you, too, because I love you.”

Noah seemed to take that in. A
t least he was considering her reasoning, “I still don’t understand, or like, any of it, but I get your point.”

He raked his hand through his hair
, then both hands over his face. When he opened his eyes again, she was standing directly in front of him. She was so close he could smell her shampoo and soap, and it reminded him of all the time they’d spent making love in the shower. And how he’d thought of that very thing, every time he stepped into his shower without her over the past three years.

“There’s something I want to ask you to do for
me. A last request, I guess.” She was biting her lip again, looked so vulnerable and scared. He was still confused, hurt, mad, no
furious
, over the events of the last few hours. He was just trying to make sense out of anything, but he still just couldn’t believe she’d left him like that. 

“Go on.” His voice was
questioning, and his look was guarded.

She waited so long to speak
again that he didn’t think she would finish her request. “You can say no. I don’t want you to feel….obligated….”

“What
is it, Bri?” His voice almost sounded tender for those few seconds, and she felt a glimmer of hope warm her heart. But she stamped it down, because she knew better than to hope for any kind of fairytale ending. He was rightfully mad, hurt, and hadn’t forgiven her. She couldn’t blame him.

“Can you…uh….will you – can I
have…” her voice trailed off again, uncertain of how to ask, and even more uncertain of how he would respond.

“
Just say it.”

She
searched his eyes for a moment before asking, “For the rest of the night, can you just…
pretend…
you still love me?” Her eyes welled up with tears. As she looked down at the floor, tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. “I just want to spend my last night in your arms.”

Brianna
craned her neck up to look at him. She watched the war in his eyes, debating whether or not he should give in, whether or not he even
wanted
to give in, and she knew it had been a mistake to ask.

She watched his eyes harden again and knew that look all too well. His mind was set.
Too much had happened and he couldn’t go back. She would spend the last night of her life as she had spent the last three years…Alone.

She
started shaking her head, looked down at her feet, and backed away from him. “Forget I said anything. I shouldn’t have asked that of you. It was really selfish of me, I’m sorry for putting you on the spot like that.” 

She
turned and slowly walked up the curved marble staircase to the second floor landing. She stopped for a second, as she looked down the hall towards the bedroom she had once shared with the man she loved more than anything, and felt the stab in her heart at the realization that she had lost him forever. She took a deep breath and walked into one of the guest bedrooms and closed the door behind her.

Noah couldn’t believe what she had just asked him.
Pretend to love her?
He didn’t know whether he should feel insulted or complimented at her request.  The warring emotions in him were tearing him apart.  On one hand, he wanted to rush upstairs and tell her he didn’t have to pretend to love her – he still loved her. On the other hand, she had betrayed him in the worst way, she let him believe she was dead. She’d never tried to contact him and still wouldn’t have, if he hadn’t caught her tonight. 

Just what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

****************

“I need to know why you broke in my house.”

Shaking her shoulder, he said again,
“Brianna – I need to know why.”

She opened her eyes and
startled at the tall, dark figure standing over her. It took her a second to remember where she was, but she immediately recognized the deep timbre of his voice. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. She’d only been asleep ten minutes. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.