Authors: Sawyer Bennett
Tags: #Contemporary, #erotic, #Wyoming, #steamy, #romance, #cowboy
“Bridger wouldn’t
have—”
“If you would have just
left well enough alone, I could have finished this last job and been
free from Magnus forever,” I say, talking right over him. “I
was so close to being done with that man and this life. I would have
protected my dad in the process, and it would have all been okay. But
you’ve screwed it all up.”
“I was trying to protect
you,” Logan says as he takes a step toward me, arms stretched
out in supplication.
“You were trying to protect
yourself,” I sneer at him. “You couldn’t stand the
thought of me being with someone else. Well, at least not with
someone you deem to be unfit, but it was clearly okay to share me
with your buddy.”
“That’s not—”
“You were protecting
yourself because you’re being proprietary over what you
consider to be your property now, you fucking caveman—”
Logan lunges toward me, grabbing
me by my upper arms and giving me a little shake before he snarls, “I
don’t think you’re my property. I care about you, goddamn
it.”
I roll my eyes, completely
disbelieving his words and the casual way he throws them about. “Oh,
yeah,” I taunt him. “You care about me?”
“Yes,” he says
emphatically, his hands gripping me tight.
“Then tell me what happened
two years ago that caused you to run from life,” I demand
hotly. “Tell me what in the hell happened that caused you to
have nightmares so bad you have to fuck me with lube to get rid of
them.”
Logan blanches and his hands fall
away. He takes a step back and opens his mouth, but nothing comes
out.
“Tell me,” I press
with desperation. “You care about me so much that you’re
practically taking control of my life, tell me about Logan McKay and
who he was two years ago.”
He gives a shake of his head and
his gaze drops to the floor, lips now pressed tight together as an
indication of stubborn silence.
“You want me to trust that
you’re doing the right thing by telling Bridger about Magnus
and me. You want me to trust you in this plan to let the law get
involved, in a move that could end up putting Dad and me in jail if
things don’t work out the way your buddy thinks they will. You
want me to have all this trust in you, and yet you can’t even
trust me enough to give me anything of you in return.”
“I’ve given you—”
he murmurs, gaze still pinned to the floor.
“You’ve given me your
dick and some great orgasms, Logan,” I say quietly. “But
let’s be real… that’s about all you’ve given
me.”
Okay, that’s
harsh and not exactly true. He’s clearly given me attention and
care, as well as laughter and redirection from my plight. He’s
trying to do right by me in the only way he knows how. But I can’t
admit that to him right now because I’m too hurt that he’s
not giving me the one thing I want.
The one thing I need if he wants
me to take a very drastic turn in my life.
He doesn’t
respond to my taunt, so I add on, “I told you the very most
secret thing about my life, and I entrusted that to you. I thought we
had something… different. I thought
you
were different.”
Logan’s
eyes drag up slowly until they’re locked onto mine, and my
heart starts to shrivel by what I see.
A completely blank, ambivalent,
emotionless mask that looks a lot like Logan McKay but is nothing
more than a two-dimensional image of the man I thought I had an
amazing connection with.
There’s
no anger.
No hardness.
No frustration with me.
No desire.
No affinity.
No…
nothing.
“I’m sorry,”
Logan says in a flat voice. “I’m sorry I messed things up
for you, and I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.”
Every fiber of my being wants to
scream at him in denial. That he could be exactly what I need if he
would just give me a little piece of himself. I really don’t
need the whole thing, but I need him to show me that there’s
something tangible here.
I need more than just silent
messages that I can read with sure clarity.
I need him to show me what we
have is real.
Instead, he turns away from me,
walks to the front door, opens it, and walks out, shutting it quietly
behind him.
Disbelieving at what just
happened, I stare at the door for a few minutes, wondering if this is
a joke and he’ll
walk back in. Logan McKay has utterly turned my life upside down.
This was from the moment I first locked eyes on him in The Silo. I
knew deep in my heart my life would never be the same right in that
exact moment. I just never imagined it would turn out like this…
with him outing me to Bridger, ruining the con, putting my dad in
danger, and then leaving me without so much as a backward glance.
With me falling for him and him
walking out
without a
goddamn backward glance
.
When it’s
clear that Logan is really gone, I turn from the door and walk over
to my purse. I need to head back to The Wicked Horse, because
unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of play left. Magnus is
coming back tomorrow, and he’s going to be expecting that I’ve
kept the con running just fine. He has no clue that it’s been
effectively shut down, because no way in hell is Bridger going to let
this continue to go on in his club.
Which means I now need to get
Bridger to work with me on this. The trick to sell my “virginity”
is a bust—no pun intended—and the minute Magnus realizes
that, he’s going to come after my father and me. I have to make
plans to get my dad and me as far away from Magnus as possible and
hopefully help the police put him in prison so we’ll be safe.
Until that happens though, I’m going to be sleeping with one
eye open and moving through the streets of New York, constantly
looking over my shoulder.
Thanks a lot, Logan.
Logan
I sit in my truck and look at the
entrance to The Silo. When I left Auralie last night at her cabin, I
told myself that today was the day I got back on with living my life
the way I should be living it.
Reserved and solitary from
everyone.
It was the safest way for me to
be able to live with myself.
Of course, that meant I had to
give up Auralie and all prospect of something good with her. She drew
the line in the sand with me, and it was clear. If I wanted something
with her, I had to open up all the way. I had to trust her the way I
wanted her to trust me.
And fuck that.
Wasn’t
about to open up my carefully constructed walls that helped keep me
protected and my sanity intact.
So in order to get back on with
my life and not look backward at what could have been with Auralie, I
knew that meant hitting the Silo up tonight and getting my freak back
on with whatever available pussy was there. I’d
go in, choose someone quickly, fuck her good, and blow a nut. Then
I’d be back right again.
Except I’ve
sat in this fucking truck for going on forty minutes now and haven’t
made a move to get out. Maybe I’m waiting for my dick to wake
up and lead me in there. Perhaps I’m waiting for some sign from
above that I’m making the right choice.
I’m
waiting and waiting, but nothing’s happening.
With a sigh, I pull my phone out
and flip through Contacts until I find Rand’s
number. It’s only ten PM so it’s not too late to call.
He answers on the third ring,
sounding groggy. “What’s
up, man?”
“Did I wake you up?”
I ask hesitantly.
“Nah,” he says and
coughs to clear his throat. “Just exhausted. What’s going
on?”
“Just checking in. Saw Cat
at The Silo last night, and you weren’t with her. Making sure
everything’s okay.”
He’s
silent a moment and says, “No clue if anything’s okay,
but yeah… I knew she was there.”
“She didn’t stay,”
I say quickly, so he knows she didn’t fuck around on him.
“I know,” he says
with a heavy sigh. “Bridger was keeping an eye on her for me
and told me she left.”
“Dude… what’s
going on?”
“I’m giving her a bit
of space to try to figure out what she wants,” he says in a
tired voice. “I’m actually in Vegas right now. Tracked
her mom down to see if I could get some info on her dad.”
I whistle low through my teeth.
“And did you?”
“Yeah. Flying out to North
Carolina tomorrow.”
I digest this, thinking of the
lengths Rand is going to for a woman who was sitting alone without
him at a sex club last night. Granted, she didn’t
do anything, but she was there.
Had to be considering it.
My gaze goes to The Silo, because
seems like I’m
getting ready to do the same thing Cat was contemplating just last
night. Perhaps making a decisive move to kill the final connection to
someone?
“Why was she in The Silo?”
I ask, thinking maybe Rand has some sage advice on the subject of
people who might want a relationship but think they can’t
handle it.
“She needs to figure
herself out,” he says simply. “Figure out what she wants
and what’s most important to her. Most of all, she has to
decide whether or not she thinks she’s good enough for me,
because she’s got some fucked-up idea in her head that she’s
not.”
Yeah…
I can totally understand that shit.
Seems
like Cat and I have something in common.
Movement in the parking lot
catches my attention. I narrow my eyes as Magnus pulls his Porsche
into a spot nearer to The Silo than where I sit. He gets out, aims
the key fob at the car door to lock it, and walks inside.
“Listen,” I say as I
get out of my truck. “I’ve got to go, but dude… I
hope that shit works out with you and Cat.”
“Thanks, Logan. Me too.”
I don’t
bother locking my truck as I say, “Later,” and disconnect
the call. Shoving my phone in my back pocket, I walk into The Silo,
my nerves a jangled mess. I have absolutely no idea what I might find
when I go inside. I haven’t talked to Bridger all day, mainly
because I’m afraid of what he might say to me. I’m pretty
sure it would be something like, “Man, the fuck up”.
I also have no clue where Auralie
is. Magnus just walked in alone, so I know she’s
not with him.
Unless she’s
already in there, but no… no way is Bridger going to let that
shit go down when he knows the virginity sale is a scam.
Unease slithers through me as I
consider the consequences to Auralie of what I’ve
done. It’s not the first time I’ve thought about the
dangerous repercussions I laid on her doorstep without even bothering
to clue her in on what I was planning to do. I’m not sure how
she’s going to wrangle out of this mess, and for the most part
today, I stuck my head in the sand and just sort of hoped that
Bridger would work something out for her.
I’m
a fucking coward in that respect, and I know it. But it was easier
than dealing with my muddled feelings about what I had and what I
subsequently lost because I refuse to open myself up fully to a
woman.
I walk into The Silo. As I come
out of the short hall that leads to the interior, I see Magnus
stalking toward Bridger, who’s
talking to a group of people outside the Black Room. Inside, a woman
is on her hands and knees, taking it up the ass. She seems to be
enjoying it by the sounds of her moans, which are having no problem
permeating the glass wall because they’re so loud.
I follow Magnus as he approaches
Bridger, so I’m
close enough to hear him demand, “I need to speak to you, Mr.
Payne.”
Bridger cuts a hard look at
Magnus for his interruption, but he murmurs an apology to the group
and steps toward Magnus. “What’s
up?”
“Where’s Auralie?”
Magnus challenges with as much menace as his prissy ass can manage.
“No clue,” Bridger
says with a shrug of his shoulders.
“I flew in this evening and
she’s not at the cabin,” Magnus says, and his voice is
near panicked. “All of her clothes and personal items are still
there though.”
“Did she tell you she was
going somewhere?” Bridger asks nonchalantly.
“I talked to her right
before I got on my plane connection in Dallas,” Magnus says.
“She said she’d see me when I got here. She’s not
at the cabin so I came here, but I don’t see her.”
Immediate dread fills me that,
based on what Magnus is saying, Auralie seems to be missing. I’m
not sure where I thought she would be, but again… that was
part of me being an ostrich and sticking my head in the sand. But the
fact that Magnus seems to be worried about her has me worried about
her.
Bridger shrugs. “Not
sure what to tell you, Mr. Albright, but I haven’t seen her
since last night. But you did miss quite the show she put on. I’m
interested to see the price of the bids that come in for her
virginity once you open it up. I’m more than interested to see
what you do tonight… provided she shows up, that is.”
I jerk, startled by Bridger’s
proclamation.
He’s
going to let this farce go on?
I had underestimated the lengths
he’d go to so that
Auralie remains protected. Really didn’t think he’d give
a damn to be honest.
Magnus sighs, looking around the
club as if Auralie will mysteriously appear. I do the same, scanning
the interior…
hoping for a glimpse of her so I know she’s okay, and then I
can tell her…
What?
What exactly would I fucking tell
her?
Bridger claps Magnus on the back.
“Have a drink.
Relax. I’m sure she’ll show up. She’s probably just
making a grand entrance or something.”
Magnus looks disgruntled but nods
in agreement before turning toward the bar.
Bridger’s
gaze comes to me but then slides right past without any real
acknowledgment before he starts to walk by me toward the exit of The
Silo.
“Where’s Auralie?”
I mutter as he strides past.