Wide Awake (26 page)

I nodded. "It was." I felt myself tearing up again. "He's mad at me."

She knew who. "No, he's mad at himself. I don't have any doubt that you two will find your way back to each other. You always had this connection. He's... He's sorry, baby. He's so sorry."

I didn't want to talk about Rhett anymore. He didn't want me, so I just closed my eyes and snuggled closer under her arm. Before I knew it, I jolted awake a tiny bit when Rhett pulled a blanket over us both. I closed my eyes so that he wouldn't know I was awake. He leaned over me and kissed Mom's forehead. Then he kissed mine before rubbing my head. "My girls," he muttered. "Back together again."

He plopped down in the chair next to my bed and rubbed his face hard. "God, what am I doing wrong?"

I held in my tears just barely and closed my eyes again to let sleep claim me.

In the morning, he was gone and so was Mom.

Mom. I smiled. It felt so good to embrace that. I got ready for school, though I didn't want to go. I skipped breakfast and half expected Andy or Mason, or both, to be waiting for me, but they weren't.

So I walked and that was fine. When I arrived, the trio waved and kept going. I felt good that maybe at least one fire had been diffused. Now, if I could just get Andy to take a hint and then figure out about...Mason. Sigh.

Andy was in his car and watched me go past. It was beginning to be beyond his wanting to help me. It was creepy. So I steered clear of him all day. I hadn't done my homework the night before since Mom and I had a cry-fest, so I just took notes and listened. All anyone talked about was Prom anyway. I was glad that they had moved on from talking about me. Though I was tired of Prom already and I hadn't even gone yet.

I wondered if Isabella...Mom was right. Would I regret not going? Was that one of those things that I needed to do to feel...normal...

I pulled the list from my purse and on number four wrote
Prom
. Ok. It was settled. I didn't really have a date, but I was going. So I muddled through the day just like that, and the next, which wasn't too hard since Rhett had a work dinner. I convinced Mom to watch a movie with me and we ate in the den. She even went and put on yoga pants.

Yoga. Pants.

It was like seeing the Pope wearing a Christmas sweater.

The next was P Day. Prom. Mom threatened to pull me out of school early to have my hair and nails done because that's apparently...what people did. Not I. I said I could do my own and wasn't interested in being tortured pre-Prom. It was actually kind of nice, because after lunch, half the student body was gone. We basically did nothing the rest of the day. We watched the Dicaprio version of Romeo & Juliet in English if that's any indicator.

That night, I almost changed my mind. It had been two days since I'd seen Mason. I had picked up the phone so many times to text him, but didn't. I didn't really know why. I wasn't really mad at him. I was confused, but not about him. I knew I wanted to be with him, it was just a matter of kicking away my pride and going back over there. To be honest, the reason I think I left was because I felt cheated once again. Even Mason got to know a piece of me before the accident. I wanted to know her and it wasn't fair that I was always the one out of the loop. I doubted he'd come here for me. He probably thought I hated him.

A horrible pain went through me at that thought. He probably
did
think I hated him. I just left and didn't look back. He probably thought I hadn't thought of him at all since I left when the reality was the opposite. But if I hadn't had that fight with Mason, would my mom and I have resolved our issues? If I hadn't been sulking in my room, she wouldn't have come to see me and talk, now would she?

Gah, all of this made my head hurt. Maybe I could just skip Prom and go see him instead... No. What if he was angry with me? I hadn't thought of that. What if he was upset that I had left and wasn't interested in reconciling? He had done so much for me and I just walked out on him. He hadn't texted me either or come to try to talk. I bit my lip and threw myself back to the bed.

Oh, no. That was it, wasn't it? He was done. Well, I'd have to figure out how to make it up to him then. I'd have to-

"Emma!" I jolted up to find Isabella in my doorway. "What in the blazes are you doing not getting dressed!"

"What?"

"You're going to Prom," she commanded and pulled me from the bed with a wide grin. "Oh, just...everything that I thought you'd miss and now you get your chance." She burst into tears right there.

It may have been wrong of me, but I just couldn't break her heart. I'd give her this night and then tomorrow, I'd go get Mason back. I'd tell her that I was absolutely done with Andy, and Mason and I were absolute. If he took me back...

I pushed that away and let her practically rip the shirt from me. The bra came next and she placed a strapless bra on that was basically cups and nothing else. It was magic for all I was concerned. But I couldn't dwell on that because she was putting the dress over my head and twisted my hair up before I could even think. I slipped my heels on and looked at myself in the mirror. The dress was a soft cream and had a strapless top that bunched at the high waist to cascade down the front. I had to admit that I looked beautiful, even if it was wasted on no one.

I leaned in and brushed on mascara and some blush. She turned me to her and I mirrored her mouth as an 'o' as she put on my lipgloss. She cried again and didn't even wipe her face, just rushed me out my bedroom door and down the stairs.

She took a couple pictures, but I finally waved her off and begged her to stop. My cell phone rang in the little black clutch around my wrist. I frowned and pulled it out. She must have put it in there, because I didn't even have anyone to call me anymore. I answered. It was Mrs. Betty and she was pretty upset. "I just thought you should know, child."

"Should know what?" My first thought was Mason was hurt, but why would Mrs. Betty call me if that were the case? "Mrs. Betty?"

"Mason was fired today."

Useless Fact Number Seventeen

Apples are more efficient at waking you up than caffeine
.

My breath stopped. "What? What for?" I turned to glare at my mother as she came back in. How could she? "You called and got Mason fired?" I yelled at her. "I thought that we-"

"No, it wasn't her, or your father," Betty corrected. "The doctor found a note in Mason's pocket..." my heart skipped a beat, "...from you. So they fired him for fraternization and misconduct."

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. This couldn't be happening. He got fired because of me? I slammed the phone back into my purse and started out the door.

"Wait!" I heard behind me. "I'll drive you."

I didn't wait to see why she was driving me or how she knew where we were even going, but I followed her out the door. We didn't make it to her car. Mason was there on the curb, his back to us as he leaned on his car. She clutched her purse and smiled at me as she turned to go back. "I am so confused-"

"Just go. We'll talk later," she assured. She reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Everything happens for a reason. I want you to remember that."

I wanted to say more, but I stepped out in the driveway. "Mason," I called softly, but he heard. He heard and stiffened. He didn't turn. That didn't give me any encouragement, but I stepped toward him anyway. "Mason, I'm sorry."

He turned and blew his breath out, looking at me up and down. "God, help me." His face solemn, he turned and came up the curb slowly. "You're just as beautiful in my dreams, Em, because I have to be dreaming right now."

I didn't know what he meant, but it didn't matter. "I'm so sorry that you got fired for me." Wait. "Or," I shook my head in frustration, "because of me."

"Because of you..." He licked his lips and shook his head, taking another step toward me. "How did you even know what happened?" He looked back at my arms and shoulders. "And why are you dressed like an angel?"

I looked down at myself and couldn't help but smile. "Oh, sorry. It's prom tonight..." I gulped at the look on his face. "Mrs. Betty called me and I'm so sorry."

He smiled sweetly. "You're sorry that I carried your note around with me every were I went and some jerk found it who'd been looking for any reason to fire me for months?"

"But I thought...that I left it in your pocket and..."

"No," he corrected and took the last step between us. "No, Emma, I put that note in my pocket on purpose. Just like I have every day since you gave it to me."

"But I thought you hated me-"

His hand moved swiftly toward my face, but I wasn't scared. I didn't flinch as he gripped the back of my neck and pulled us together all the way up and down. "Don't ever, ever say that again." His breath coasted across my face. "I don't hate you—why would I?"

"Because I left," I said lamely.

"I lied to you, Emma. I knew you'd leave."

"You didn't lie," I reasoned. "You omitted. And you were right. If I had woken up, knowing that the reason I was there, the very reason that I couldn't remember anything, was because of some stupid thing I did. Some completely stupid and pointless thing... As my therapists, I'm glad that you didn't tell me. I've had a really hard time forgiving her." He wiped under my eye and looked like he wanted to say something, but I went on. "I hated that I couldn't have a clean slate with you. I didn't want you to know her, but now I see that it wasn't her fault. She wanted to be different, and I'm not sure if she was strong enough to pull it off or not, but I am." I closed my eyes as he caressed my cheek with his fingers.

"Yes, you are." He lifted my chin and I waited to open my eyes, savoring his touch and how calm and connected we were in the dark in my front yard. I opened them and waited. "I've never met anyone who recovered as quickly, who was so determined to be a better person, who believed as hard and as wide open as you."

The wind blew his hair as I stared at his face. It was cool and I felt it waft over my bare shoulders and blow my gown around my feet. His hair fell across his forehead and I saw my hand move to fix it for him. He closed his eyes. "You just wanted to tell me that you're sorry I got canned?" He opened them and I knew everything was about to come to a head.

"No," I whispered and toyed with the button if his shirt. "I missed you."

"I was giving you space," he explained in a rumble. "I wanted to come and beg you to forgive me every second since you left, but I wanted you to come back because you wanted to. Because you wanted to be with me, and if you didn't, then I would have to deal with that. I would just spend forever remembering what it was like to be in love with this amazing girl."