Widows & Orphans (18 page)

The door was opened by Gabriela, the Argentinian au pair, whose request for
Durex
, which turned out to be Spanish for sellotape, had become a staple of Derek’s comic repertoire. Ever uneasy with Duncan’s nebulous role in the household, she led him into the sitting room where Rose was watching a cartoon featuring psychedelic elephants. Her neck was twisted and her arms and legs were flailing, which he had once compared to the fluttering of a butterfly but which now looked more like the death throes of a prisoner in an electric chair. She seemed to smile when she saw him, although with her mouth in spasm it was hard to tell. After kissing her cheek and stroking her tousled hair, he stood watching a short sequence in which the elephants, now a nuclear family, perched on stools around a dinner table, looking as awkward as Rose herself. Respecting
Linda’s demand that no one should talk down to her (which wasn’t easy when she was four years old and her head level with his thigh), he crouched beside her and explained the difference between African and Indian elephants, whereupon she slowly, almost imperceptibly, shifted her gaze back to the screen.

‘Just wait till they all go to the seaside. That’s the best bit, isn’t it, angel?’ Linda said as she walked into the room. Duncan stood up to kiss her cheek, which was less yielding than Rose’s. ‘I’m afraid Jamie’s not home yet,’ she added. ‘I’ve left two messages on his mobile but he hasn’t replied.’

‘Never mind, I expect I’m early. Besides, it gives me a chance to catch up with Rose.’

‘We’ve spent the afternoon gardening, haven’t we, angel?’ Having named her before her diagnosis, Linda had been doubly delighted by Rose’s affinity with flowers.

‘Was it fun?’ Duncan asked Rose, who gurgled and dribbled with pleasure. Linda adjusted the wheelchair tray, bringing the communication book closer to Rose, who pointed the middle finger of her right hand to a smiley face above the word ‘happy’.

‘You were happy!’ Duncan said, at which Rose nodded her head.

‘What did you do?’

Rose laboriously turned the laminated pages until she reached one marked Garden. Like everyone who came within her orbit, Duncan was familiar with her book, its first page of key words (I, it, he, she, you, mine, Mummy, Daddy, Jamie, Craig, drink, eat, like, see, feel, hurt, play, want, help, listen, good, bad, happy, sad, big, little) followed by pages relating to specific topics, such as Family, House, School, Stories, Food, Clothes and Television. Each time he asked her a question, she would point to one or more symbols, building up a sentence for him to repeat, whereupon she would either nod her head if he had interpreted correctly or shake it if
he had misunderstood. He asked her what she had seen and she pointed in turn to Worm, eat and Butterfly, an improbable sequence that, observing the etiquette, he nonetheless repeated. ‘You saw a worm eating a butterfly?’ he said, replacing his scepticism with excitement. As her tongue rolled about and her head wobbled like a toy dog on a dashboard, he was uncertain whether she were nodding or shaking, smiling or frowning, and felt deeply ashamed.

‘Don’t be a silly sausage, Uncle Duncan,’ Linda said, gently lifting Rose’s hand and directing Duncan to Bird, drink, and Pond, in each case one symbol to the right.

‘You saw a bird drinking from a pond? Of course. I’m such a ninny,’ Duncan said stiltedly.

‘It’s a new page and we haven’t fully got the hang of it yet,’ Linda said. ‘Who made it for you, angel?’

Rose pointed to one of the stock symbols on the left-hand side of the page.

‘Daddy!’ Linda said. This time Rose’s smile was unequivocal. ‘Though if I were to ask her who read it with her,’ she added under her breath, ‘it would always be Mummy.’

Duncan wondered how to respond to another hint that all was not well in Linda’s marriage. There was a time when, despite his protestations, nothing would have pleased him more than for her to admit that their divorce had been a mistake and ask him to take her back, not just for Jamie’s sake but for Rose’s. That time, however, had passed.

‘I saw Ellen this week,’ Linda said.

‘Don’t you see her every week?’ Duncan asked, startled by the mention of her name at this juncture.

‘Must you always nitpick?’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘In fact I’ve seen her twice. She’s conducting a series of language assessments on Rose for the LEA.’

‘How’s she doing … Rose, I mean?’

‘Excellently I think – no, I know. Mummy isn’t worried
about her clever little girl, is she, angel?’ she asked, drawing no response from Rose, whose gaze remained fixed on the TV.

Rose would turn five in June and start primary school in September. That she was the first child with cerebral palsy ever to attend Ley Park nursery owed everything to the tenacity of her mother, who was now limbering up for the even tougher fight to keep her in mainstream education. The local authority wanted to send her to Haycock Road where she would receive customised care, but Linda was adamant that she should not be confined to a ‘special-needs ghetto’.

‘The nursery school teachers report that she’s not very bright. But that’s precisely because they don’t take the trouble to listen to her. Ellen’s tests prove that she understands far more than you’d think. She’s about to start with her first VOCA. You’ll be seeing a tremendous change.’

‘Fingers crossed.’

‘No, that’s not good enough! We can’t leave anything to chance.’ Linda’s voice betrayed a desperation that Duncan had not heard since she pleaded with him to start the testosterone treatment. ‘Ellen’ll set out the results of her tests, but she could still conclude that Rose needs a level of support she’ll only get at a special school. I’ve even read of kids in wheelchairs being refused places in regular schools because they’re a fire risk!’

‘I suppose that must be a consideration.’

‘What? How many school fires have you heard of lately?’

‘Well, none that –’

‘Exactly. I’ve told them how much time I’m prepared to put into the school – in the classroom too if they can’t afford enough teaching assistants. Our buying the VOCA will already have saved them five thousand quid.’

‘Of course,’ Duncan said, wondering whether she expected him simply to be a sympathetic listener or to deploy the power of the press.

‘That’s why I hoped you’d sound Ellen out on her recommendations. I know she’s on our side … not that it’s a question of sides. But she works closely with the local authority, so she’s in a tricky position.’

‘I promise I’ll do what I can,’ Duncan said warily. ‘But she’s a professional to her fingertips. I’m not sure she’d welcome my interference.’

‘You’re right. Forget I mentioned it!’ Linda said, moving to wipe the saliva from Rose’s chin. ‘I might have a word with Craig,’ she said, refusing to let the matter drop. ‘He’s the last person I’d choose to ask for a favour, but he’s going out with Ellen’s daughter, Sue. Of course, you already know that. Small world!’

‘Or just a small town?’

‘I’m not proud; I’m ready to try anything. I won’t let Rose be written off. She may not be the next Stephen Hawking, but she deserves a chance.’

Rose, alert to her mother’s agitation, moaned and thrashed about. Linda hurried to her. ‘Don’t worry, angel. It’ll soon be time for your tea. Where do you suppose that naughty brother of yours has got to? Oh look,’ she said, pointing at the screen. ‘Lollipop and Aniseed are playing beach ball.’ Calming herself as well as her daughter, she turned back to Duncan.

‘I’m sorry. I know how you hate fuss.’

‘That’s not fair.’

‘It wasn’t a criticism. I expect it’s why you hit it off so well with Ellen. You still are, aren’t you?’

‘Yes,’ Duncan said, unable to resist a smile.

‘That’s great. Truly. I so want you to be happy.’

‘Thank you. It’s early days yet. We’re both afraid of rushing things. She’s not long out of a disastrous marriage.’

‘That’s not your problem, I hope.’

‘You know it’s not. I don’t understand how she stuck it for so long. Matthew – her ex – was a brute.’

‘Maybe that’s why she’s gone for a man who’s the opposite?’

‘Is that why you went for Derek?’

‘I asked for that, didn’t I? I don’t know; I’ve never analysed it.’

‘No,’ Duncan said, recalling an attraction that, perhaps to spare his feelings, she had described to him as ‘chemical’ but to a mutual friend as ‘magnetic’. In retrospect he knew that he should have fought harder to keep her, but not only was it not in his nature, it wasn’t in his code. Having encouraged her to open new doors, he felt unable to stand in her way when she chose the one marked Exit.

Jamie’s arrival put an end to his soul-searching. Ignoring his parents, he made straight for Rose, planting a squelchy kiss on her cheek and asking whether she had had a good day.

‘Earth to Jamie,’ Linda said. ‘Has a magic spell turned us both invisible?’

‘Can’t you see I’m talking to Rose?’ He followed her hand, interpreting the symbols effortlessly. ‘You saw a bird drinking from the pond? Cool!’

‘Your father’s been waiting half an hour. Don’t you think you owe him an explanation?’

‘I’m sure there’s a very simple one,’ Duncan said mildly.

‘I left two messages on your mobile,’ Linda said. ‘Why was it switched off?’

‘I was in detention, all right?’

‘What did you do?’ Duncan asked.

‘It wasn’t my fault. Why can’t you both get off my case?’

‘We’ll talk about it later,’ Duncan said. ‘We’d better make tracks. Granny’s waiting.’

‘Oh no,’ Jamie said, turning to Linda. ‘Craig said he was coming round tonight.’

‘So he’s seeing his father and you’re seeing yours,’ she replied. ‘Now go and clean yourself up. I don’t want your grandmother saying I sent you off looking like a tramp.’

Jamie went out, dragging his heels and muttering.

‘I heard that,’ Linda said.

‘Did you really?’ Duncan asked as soon as Jamie was out of earshot.

Linda shook her head. ‘But it’s as well to keep him guessing.’

While Linda consoled Rose on the loss of her playmate, Duncan brooded on Jamie’s fixation with Craig. Was it simply deference to the elder brother he had never had, or did it represent something more sinister?

‘I wish I felt warmer towards Craig,’ he said tentatively. ‘This morning, I caught him playing hooky with Sue. I’m fairly sure they were smoking dope.’

‘I wouldn’t be surprised. Francis Preston’s drowning in the stuff.’

‘You don’t think Jamie…?’

‘No, I’m sure not. But it’s only a question of time.’

‘You’re being remarkably sanguine. Shouldn’t we talk to him?’

‘And say what? It was easy for our parents. They’d never smoked anything stronger than Senior Service. But our kids know that we have. Remember the night you, Miles and Sanjay liberated the chickens from the factory farm in Devon? It’d be the pot calling the kettle black.’

‘No pun intended,’ Duncan said, as her baffled expression confirmed that it wasn’t. ‘But the dope is so much stronger these days. It does real damage.’

‘Sure, that’ll be the clincher! Sorry, kids, it was safe when we took it, but not any more.’

‘Even so, it‘d be irresponsible not to point out the risks.’

‘They have drugs advisers at school. Not that they seem to be much use.’

‘Exactly. There are some things that come best from a parent.’

Although he still winced at the memory of his own father who, ignoring the evidence of his KS, had assumed that he was sexually active at the age of twelve and given him a lengthy pep
talk on the use of condoms, few aspects of Derek’s usurping of his paternal role had galled him more than his pre-empting of the sex chat after catching Jamie with a pile of Craig’s top-shelf magazines. If Derek had warned Jamie against confusing flesh-and-blood girls with pornography (apparently as great a danger in the Internet age as getting them pregnant), then he would be the one to warn him against the equally bogus attraction of drugs. So what if he had to admit to certain youthful indiscretions? The odd blush was a small price to pay for protecting his son.

‘Look who I found lurking on the stairs,’ Derek said, walking in with his fist pressed casually to Jamie’s skull. ‘How are my two favourite girls?’ he asked, moving first to kiss Linda, who appeared indifferent, and then Rose, whose face crinkled with joy. ‘Evening, young man,’ he said, raising his right hand in preparation for a high-five and, when Duncan failed to respond, tracing an arc in the air. ‘How’s the world treating you?’

‘Oh, I’ve given up worrying about the world. I’ve enough problems on my doorstep.’

‘It’s an expression, Dad,’ Jamie said, sighing. ‘You don’t have to take it literally.’

‘Actually, it’s a cliché, which is why I did.’

‘The editor speaks! That’s telling us, isn’t it, son?’ Derek said with studied ambiguity.

‘You should go now, Jamie,’ Linda said. ‘Your grandmother will be waiting and I’ve got to cook supper for Craig.’

‘I’m sorry love; he’s not coming,’ Derek said. ‘I meant to ring but it slipped my mind. He texted to ask if he could make it another night. He’s doing something with Sue.’ He turned to Duncan. ‘She’s his … of course, you know. She’s your new girlfriend’s daughter.’

‘Gross!’ Jamie said.

‘Take no notice,’ Linda said to Duncan. ‘He’s delighted for you really.’

‘Like I care.’

‘Actually, I saw them both this morning,’ Duncan said to Derek. ‘I had to drop a parcel off for Ellen and they were at the house. Craig said they had a free study period, which seemed unlikely.’

‘For fuck’s sake, Dad, how can you be such a grass?’

Duncan was taken aback by Jamie’s outrage. ‘I was concerned about Craig and thought it only right to warn his father. The same way I hope he’d tell me if he was concerned about you.’

‘No chance of that, is there, sport?’ Derek asked, brushing Jamie’s head with enviable licence. ‘I mean there’s no chance that you’d do anything to worry me.’

Seeing the easy rapport between stepfather and stepson, Duncan reflected bitterly that his initial fears of their mutual resentment had been replaced by envy of their intimacy. Yet he of all people should understand why, missing Craig, Derek had turned to Jamie. He hinted as much when he was finally alone with his son on the way to Ridgemount.