Wife Me Bad Boy (25 page)

“Thanks, Grant,” Arnold said.

“Don’t thank me,” I said. “Thank Lacey. She’s the one who’s responsible for all of this.”

“Will we be seeing her?”

“You’ll see her soon enough. And you better be nice to her. She’s a good woman, and if you do right by her, she’ll change your entire life. Her father did it for me, and now I live a life most men could only dream of.”

“Because you stayed in school?”

I smiled. “There’s more to it than that, but don’t worry. I’ll show you when the time comes. For now, stay in school. Later, I promise you I’ll teach you skills that you’ll be able to use to give yourselves good lives.”

“What kinds of skills?”

“It’s too early to tell you, but know this. If you listen to me, and if you listen to Lacey, you boys are going to do all right. I guarantee it. It’s not going to be easy, but we’ll make men out of you. Effective men, who know how to get what they want, and know what to do with it when they get it.”

The boys all nodded, as if they were hearing for the first time what they’d been waiting their entire lives to hear.

“So you’re saying, you’re going to look out for us?”

“Sounds good, don’t it?” I said.

“Too good,” Arnold said.

“Well, it won’t be a free ride, but I promise you this much. Lacey and I won’t ever ask you to do anything that won’t help you to become the men you want to become. So you think about it, and if it sounds good, you stick around in this house.”

They looked at each other. I knew they’d all take the offer. They didn’t have a lot of options.

“So when you said to hook up cable?” Arnold said.

“Everything,” I said. “Sports, movies, whatever you want. Just make sure you all don’t flunk out of school. If anyone’s failing, the rest of you help him out. If anyone flunks out of school, you’ll all pay for it.”

“All right,” Arnold said.

The rest of the boys seemed to be in agreement.

“Arnold, come over here with me,” I said.

He followed me out of the house, to the sidewalk. I wanted to speak to him privately.

“I know this is a lot of responsibility to put on you, but you look like you can handle it.”

He nodded.

“I’ll get a cleaner, a plumber and an electrician to come over and check things out. We’re going to make this a nice home for you guys. I’ll also get some furniture and other stuff organized. In the meantime, you help these boys get their schoolwork together, and keep the house clean. Do you hear me? When Lacey gets here, if this place is a mess, she ain’t going to be happy.”

“I hear you, Grant.”

“And go to the grocery store. Get some groceries. Fill the refrigerator. Healthy stuff. Milk, fruit, cereal, snacks. Use the credit card.”

“Yes, sir,” he said.

“Lacey will be here soon. You have this place looking good for when she arrives.”

Chapter 43

Grant

A
FTER SORTING OUT THE BOYS
at the house, I made a phone call to Jackson. I always knew I could count on him for anything.

“Grant, what is it?”

“Jackson, I need your help with a few things.”

“Anything you want, brother.”

“I’m planning something. An event.”

“What sort of event?”

“You’ll be able to guess. Will you help me with it?”

“Of course.”

“Do you have a pen?”

“What do I need a pen for?”

“To take down a list.”

“There’s a list?”

“Yeah, there’s a list.”

Jackson went to get a pen. “All right, I’m ready.”

“First thing, you know the flower market in San Francisco?”

“The big one by the port?”

“Yes, I need someone to go there and order ten thousand red roses.”

“Ten thousand?”

“Yes. Or more if they have them.”

“For when?”

“For tomorrow.”

“That soon?”

“Yes. Did you write it down?”

“I did, but will they have that many available?”

“I hope so. The second thing I need is also at the flower market. There’s a cake shop there, and they make cakes using rose water.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m not sure, but the cakes are delicious.”

“Okay.”

“So I need the biggest wedding cake they can make. Literally the most beautiful, extravagant cake they can possibly make.”

“A wedding cake?”

“Yes. For tomorrow too.”

“You’re getting married?”

“You can’t tell anyone about this, Jackson. Especially not Faith.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t tell Lacey yet.”

Jackson started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Don’t you think this is a little out of the blue?”

“It’s not out of the blue at all. I’ve been waiting half my life to marry Lacey.”

“But she doesn’t know that.”

“She’ll find out in plenty of time.”

“Grant, I’ve got to tell you this as your friend. I mean, I’m all for surprising the woman you love. I think it’s lovely. But you really ought to consider proposing to Lacey before springing a wedding on her. She’s strong willed. You know how she gets when she feels like you’re making decisions for her.”

“I don’t care,” I said. “I’ve got to make that woman mine, and if I don’t do it soon, I’m going to explode. Pretty much everything I do with her ends up going all wrong, so I figure I’m better off just arranging everything the way she likes it and hoping for the best.”

“Hoping for the best?”

“Are you going to help me with this or not?” I asked.

“Sorry. You’re right. This way is more romantic, I guess. A complete shock.”

“Don’t be sarcastic.”

“Just keep going. What else do you need?”

“Okay, so we’ve got the flowers and the cake. The next thing I need are white doves.”

“Doves?”

“Yes, doves. You know the kind? The romantic ones that fly out of a box at a wedding.”

“I’ve seen the movies.”

“So get as many of them as possible.”

“For tomorrow?”

“Yes, for tomorrow. Everything’s for tomorrow. The next thing I need is live music. Like a band or something.”

“Which band?”

“Ask Faith. She’ll know.”

“I thought you didn’t want Faith to know about this?”

“Just ask her in a subtle way. Find out what music Lacey would like. And then book them for tomorrow night.”

“This is a long list, Grant.”

“It’s almost done.”

“So what’s left?”

“Faith has to go pick out a wedding dress for Lacey.”

“Grant. You haven’t thought this through. First of all, there’s no way Faith’s not going to know what’s going on if you ask her to do that. Second of all, women like to pick out their own wedding dress. They agonize over it. It’s a huge decision.”

“Just tell her I need her to do it. I’m going to marry Lacey, and God help me, I’m going to surprise her with this. If she doesn’t like it, she can just refuse to go through with it.”

“Grant, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of. I mean, I’ve heard of shotgun weddings, but usually the bride is in on the plans.”

“Well, Lacey’s too mad at me to make any sort of plans with me at the moment.”

“Mad at you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I interfered in her relationship with Rob.”

“Rob. Holy shit. Grant. I just remembered. Lacey’s engaged to that guy.”

“That’s over.”

“Over? Are you sure?”

“Yes, because I’m the one who ended it.”

“Oh shit, Grant. No wonder she’s mad at you. If she was upset about that, how’s she going to react when she finds out you’ve arranged an entire wedding for her without even consulting her?”

I hung up the phone, and immediately started to panic. What the hell had I just done? Lacey was going to hate this. There was no way she’d go along with it. A wedding? Tomorrow? That she didn’t know about? She was already fuming mad at me, and this was a thousand times worse than what I’d done with Rob.

Chapter 44

Grant

I
WAS AT THE REALTOR’S OFFICE
later that afternoon, finalizing the transaction on the house which I’d forced her to rush, when my phone rang.

“Hello?” I said.

“Grant, this is Faith.”

“Faith, it’s lovely to hear from you, sweetheart.”

“Cut the crap, Grant. What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m surprising Lacey.”

“By throwing her a wedding?”

“I’m going to propose to her first.”

“You are?”

“Yes. Don’t worry. I have a plan.”

“I hope you do.”

“I do.”

“Because if you don’t know what you’re doing, this could be a disaster. Lacey’s a strong-willed woman. She doesn’t like to feel controlled. And I love her more than I love any other woman on earth. So you better not screw this up and hurt her.”

“I won’t screw it up, Faith.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Faith finally said, “All right, so Jackson tells me I need to find her a wedding dress, today.”

“Yes. Do you have any ideas?”

“I actually happen to know what wedding dress Lacey wants already.”

“You do? You’ve already talked about it?”

“Of course we’ve talked about it. Lacey’s been wanting a wedding for years, and until very recently, she even thought she was going to have one, with Rob.”

“That’s all off, now.”

“So I hear.”

“So do you think you’ll be able to go pick up the dress?”

“Grant, it’s not that simple. These wedding dresses are in high demand. And they take months to order.”

“Who’s the designer?”

“Her name is Packham, and she’s here in the city.”

“So go to her store and get a dress.”

“No can do. I already called. She said it would be impossible to get a dress on this short a notice.”

“Did you tell her we’d pay extra.”

“She doesn’t care, Grant. She’s world famous. She’s made dresses for Hollywood stars, and the Princess of England.”

“Where’s her store?”

“You’re going to go there?”

“I have to get this dress, Faith. You help Jackson with the flowers.”

I finished the paperwork on the house and then drove straight to the Packham boutique across town. I drove so fast I was lucky I didn’t get pulled over.

I double parked outside the boutique, which was on a trendy little street overlooking the bay, and knocked on the door. An elegant woman with a British accent buzzed me in.

“This is a matter of life and death,” I said.

“Excuse me, sir?”

“I don’t know how I can put this without making myself sound crazy,” I said, “but I really need your help.”

The lady looked me over. I must have looked crazy already bursting in, covered in tattoos, stubble, and a leather biker jacket.

“You’re lucky you’re my type,” she said, her eyes sparkling, her voice sounding regally British. “What is it you want from me?”

“When I was a kid, a man saved my life. He took me into his home, brought me up, taught me a trade.”

“That was very nice of him,” the lady said.

“Yes, and he died a few years ago.”

“How sad.”

“I grew up with his daughter. We’ve been breaking each other’s balls for seventeen years. We fight about everything. Right now we’re fighting over something.”

“Sounds awful.”

“It’s not. It’s the exact opposite. She’s sublime. And I can’t risk losing her.”

“So tell her how you feel.”

“I’m going to. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, and then I’m going to propose.”

“Delightful.”

“And then I’m going to give her the absolute wedding of her dreams.”

“Right then and there?”

“Yes, before she has a chance to change her mind and get mad at me again.”

“Sir, I’m not sure you’re very familiar with the way this works. There’s usually some time, like many months, between the proposal and the wedding.”

“Why?”

“Why? Lots of reasons.”

“Name them.”

“First of all, you can’t force her to marry you.”

“I won’t force her to marry me. I’ll propose. We’ll only get married if she says yes, and believe me, when she doesn’t like something I say, she has no trouble letting me know.”

“Well, secondly, women have certain ideas about their ideal wedding. Things they’ve been dreaming about since they were little girls.”

“I’ve known this woman since she was a little girl. I already know everything about her ideal wedding. She spelled it out to me. I’ve got it all arranged.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Sort of.”

“So you just need a dress?”

“Not just any dress. I need one of your dresses. The most beautiful one you’ve got. And I need it right now.”

The woman shook her head. She rose to her feet and made her way to the door. She opened the door and looked at me. “That’s a very lovely story you told me, sir, but I’m afraid what you’re asking is quite impossible.”

“Impossible?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that what love is? Impossible? Isn’t that what weddings are? Isn’t marriage supposed to be an impossible promise? Isn’t that the point? To believe in the impossible? Isn’t that what your entire business is about?”

“My business is about sane adults getting married.”

“But what’s sane about getting married? Nothing. Trust me, I’ve given it a lot of thought. Two grown people, promising each other that from this day forward, they’re going to forget everything else about the world, and put each other first. They’re going to try and merge their two, completely unique personalities, and create something new that combines the best of both. They’re going to wager their lives against everything the world can throw at them, and promise God and everyone they love, that no matter what, they’re going to stay together, and look after each other, and cherish each other. Impossible? That’s impossible. Love is impossible. It’s supposed to be. That’s the point. Because when two people believe in something impossible together, because of love, that’s when magical things happen.”

“Magical things?”

“Think about it. A family is magical. Something that comes about where nothing existed before. That’s real magic. And that’s what love and marriage create.”

The woman looked me over.