Wild (14 page)

As soon as we were back in the car, he turned up the heating and I felt how my back instantly became warm. The heating was in the seats. I had never felt that kind of luxury in my life.

I barely looked at the street, knowing he would weave in and out of traffic as before. We were back at the house in no time.

“Are you hungry?” he asked after he had carried me to the couch.

“Not yet.”

He sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. Maybe now he would kiss me?

“This has been the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. Thank you.” He admitted.

“It’s a shame it’s over already. I guess you have to go back to work tomorrow morning.”

“Actually, no.”

I was surprised. “Really? How come?”

“I’m on sabbatical.” He smiled. I moved closer to him. I was happy I would be able to spend more time with him.

“I’ll have a few things to take care of, of course, but we’ll have plenty of time.”

“Time to …?” I wondered what he wanted to do.

“Time to get to know each other. And tomorrow I want you to start walking a little, otherwise atrophy will set in and it’ll be much harder on you later.”

“Whatever you say, doc.”

“I should also check on your wound, see how it’s healing.”

“Okay. Can you help me take my pants off?”

He laughed. “Which man wouldn’t?”

He fetched fresh gauze and bandages from downstairs. I could feel he was careful not to touch any sensitive places when he helped me with my pants.

“Tempting at all?” I teased him.

“Very.”

He took off the old bandages and examined my wound. It looked much better, even though it now looked almost purple.

“It looks good.” He wrapped it again with fresh bandages, then examined the other leg where I had received the injection. It immediately reminded me of Dr. Entwhistle in the park, but I pushed the thought away from me.

The wound looked like it was healing fast and Vince re-bandaged it with fresh supplies.

“All done. Let me help you put your pants back on.”

“I’m quite comfortable without them.”

He raised an eyebrow. “But I’m not. Humor me, will you?”

I gave him a resigned look and let him help me put my clothes back on.

“Thank you,” he said and kissed me on the cheek.

10. Vince’s Hope

It was ironic. The more I held back the more she wanted me. I didn’t do it intentionally. I had to hold back because I needed to learn to control myself first. Had somebody else been watching my moves they would have thought I was doing this to reel her in. Far from it. I wasn’t playing hard to get. I wasn’t interested in any games.

I was trying to hold her off so she could gain perspective and get to know me better, even though I still had no idea how I could ever tell her about my secret. It seemed she became more and more comfortable with me.

Nothing seemed to scare her or strike her as particularly odd, yet I knew she was smart. Her observations about my research had shown me she had an analytical mind.

Overall the day had gone better than I had expected. When I had held her in the meadow, I could feel my emotions ebbing and flowing, but I hadn’t gotten out of control. It had been tempting to give into her when she wanted me to kiss her, but I wasn’t ready to risk it, especially not in such a public place.

I had meant it when I had told her that her kisses were X-rated. Back in the seventies it had been called X-rated. I had heard the term NC-17, but it wasn’t really part of my lingo. I had slipped up, but in any case, I couldn’t recall ever having kissed a woman who had responded to me with such passion and made me want only one thing.

As I kissed her cheek I wanted to lower my mouth to her neck and kiss her more, but I pulled myself away before she had any inkling of my intention. We were alone again and the temptation would be big enough. I had to get through the night without … I couldn’t finish the thought.

I reached for the remote and switched on the TV. Annette cuddled up to me and I was happy to hold her close to me even though I made sure not to accidentally brush against her breasts with my hands, breasts which I was much too aware of, even though they were hidden under her sweater.

“Okay, we have a choice of classic movies, the news, documentaries, sports … I have about three hundred channels. Any preference?” I needed to make conversation, but she didn’t seem to care what we watched.

“It doesn’t matter.” I was right, all she wanted was being close to me.

I flicked through the channels avoiding all romantic comedies instantly. That was all I needed: a chick flick which would put her in the mood to launch another seductive attack on me. I didn’t want to make it too difficult on either of us, so I settled on a movie review.

Minutes later I noticed her even breathing patterns and knew she had fallen asleep. Tenderly I lifted her into my lap wondering whether I should put her into bed, but figured she would only nap for a short while. It had been an exhausting day for her, I was sure.

Her leg was healing well and I was pleased, but she still needed her rest. She looked so small in my arms and she was light like a feather. I enjoyed cradling her and couldn’t help but notice the relaxing effect her sleeping body had on me. I kept her on my lap and enjoyed feeling the gentle movement of her body as she inhaled and exhaled. I gently stroked her arm and kept watching her breasts as they moved up and down with every breath.

I wondered what it would be like to touch them, to hold them in my hands and to gently squeeze them, but I didn’t dare act on this thought.

She woke up less than an hour later. She looked pleased when she noticed she was in my lap.

“Feeling better?”

“I was so tired.”

“I should have let you sleep earlier. Our little excursion must have exhausted you.”

“I enjoyed it though.”

“Shall I make us dinner?” I offered.

“I could eat a horse,” she bragged.

I moved her off my lap and got up to go to the kitchen.

“I don’t think I have horse on the menu for tonight. How about a cow?” I opened the fridge and saw the Chinese take out I had brought for her and remembered. “Sorry, forgot, you’re vegetarian, aren’t you?”

“Well, not a hundred percent.”

“So, in fact, you’re not vegetarian at all,” I concluded grinning.

“Only occasionally,” she said sheepishly.

I shook my head. How were men ever going to understand women when they had to figure out their implausible logic?

“There is no such thing as an occasional vegetarian. Steak then for tonight?”

She gave no objections.

“Or would you rather go out to eat?”

“No, let’s eat here. It’s cozier. Vince, tell me, what do people do on sabbaticals?”

 I was a little surprised at her question.

“That depends really why they’re taking a sabbatical. Most academics will do some research which involves foreign travel, or they’ll study a different field they are interested in. Everybody’s sabbatical is a little different.”

“Why are you taking one?”

I wanted to answer the question truthfully, but had a few hurdles to overcome. First of all, I wasn’t on a sabbatical, not in the true sense of the word. I had quit UCSF when I had realized how I had changed and I therefore had no job to return to.

And secondly, I wasn’t on a sabbatical, because I had never stopped working on my research. Would this matter to her? I tried to remain ambivalent.

“I guess I was at a stage in my professional life, where I needed to be sure what direction to go in. When you continue to stay where you are, you just don’t see the options you might have to change your direction. Do you know what I mean?” I looked at her trying to see if she was happy with this explanation.

Her answer surprised me. “Yes, I know what you mean. That’s why I came to San Francisco. I wanted to see what my options were.”

“Did you not enjoy your job at the zoo?” I was curious.

“Oh, I did. I loved working with the big cats. Every day at the feeding I would watch them and think to myself, whether ….”

I interrupted her. “Big cats?” Did I hear right?

“Yes, I was working with the mountain lions.”

I stared at her. This tiny girl had worked with mountain lions? Was she not afraid?

“But, you are so …”

“Small?” She filled in.

“I was going to say, vulnerable, but small works too. Weren’t you afraid of them?” She intrigued me.

“They can tell when you’re afraid. But they never scared me. Whenever I looked into their beautiful eyes, I got the feeling they wanted to communicate,” she paused, and added quickly “Of course, I know that’s not possible.”

I suddenly looked at her in a different light. When she had stared into my eyes while I had held her attacker back, she had seen the familiar eyes of a mountain lion. Was that why she hadn’t been afraid?

Was this even possible?  Could I have met the only person who did not fear my animal form?

“Annette, do you think you could be what is commonly called an animal whisperer?”

“You mean like the movie
the horse whisperer
?” She gave me a doubtful look. “I don’t think so. I don’t actually hear their voices. I’m not
that
crazy.” She rolled her eyes.

“You don’t actually have to hear their voices. Maybe
they
understand
you
.”

“You’re just pulling my leg.”

I could tell she wasn’t comfortable with the subject.

“So, why did you leave when you liked your job?” I distracted her.

“I didn’t like living with my aunt,” she started.

“Hold on, didn’t you tell me you had nobody I could contact for you?”

“Oh, that.” She gave me an apologetic look. “I don’t think my aunt would even want to know. It’s not like she’s going to approve of this situation.”

“You didn’t even give it a thought when you didn’t know yet what the situation was. Shouldn’t you at least call her now and let her know you’re not on that Greyhound bus home?”

“She doesn’t even know I was supposed to be on that bus, so there’s really no point in calling her.”

She was full of excuses. My guess was she really didn’t have much of a relationship with her aunt at all.

“Where are your parents?” I wanted to know, even though I could guess the answer.

“They died in a car accident five years ago. My aunt had to take me in, and you must know already what kind of a pain I am to live with,” she joked.

If she wanted to make a joke out of it, I would help her with it. “You’re only a pain, because you’re constantly trying to seduce me, and I guess you didn’t do that with your aunt,” I laughed.

“Trust me, she’s not as handsome as you are.” She grinned broadly.

The atmosphere was back to the friendly banter from earlier. I enjoyed joking with her. She had an easy sense of humor and didn’t take herself too seriously.

I served her steak medium and mine rare. Instead of eating at the bar, I decided it would be more comfortable on the couch. I had also made some tomato salad for her to go with her steak.

She had a healthy appetite and I was happy to see that she seemed to feel better and better. I had cut her dosage of pain killers in half and she didn’t complain about the pain. It was a good sign. She was young and would heal fast.

I cleared our plates and got back to the couch to sit with her. She gave me a look which could only mean one thing. I stretched my arms out and pulled her into my lap. I had guessed right.

“Annette, no matter what you’re going to try, I’m not going to make love to you tonight.” I felt strange saying this to her, but I felt it had to be said. I didn’t want to raise false hopes and disappoint her unnecessarily.

“I wasn’t trying anything.”

I raised an eyebrow. “But there’s one thing I would like to do.”

I had her full attention.

“I would like to kiss you again, that is, if you allow me to.” I hoped the more physical contact I had with her, where I could stop when things got too hot, the more I would get
immune
to it, and train myself not to transform.

I called it my own personal
desensitization
which was a well-known therapy in the field of allergy. It involved getting a little bit of allergen over a longer period of time thus reducing sensitivity to the allergen. I hoped it would work the same way with Annette. She was my allergen. I needed small doses of it.

Her eyes lit up. “You know you don’t have to ask.”

“I just wanted to give you a little advance warning. Please don’t be upset if I stop suddenly, but I don’t know how much I can take at a time, and I really want to take this slow.”

When I lowered my lips onto hers, I was as gentle as possible, resisting the urge to use my tongue. She returned the favor. I let my lips nibble on hers and she did the same. Whenever I felt like I wanted more, I slowed down and started again with just a tender touch. Every time I did that, I could feel her sigh a little, but she stayed with it and followed my lead.

When I finally let my tongue slide over her lips, I could feel how she started breathing harder, and her breasts suddenly felt closer to my chest than before. I could feel her lips part automatically under my touch and had no willpower to resist letting my tongue slip inside her mouth.

She had been expecting me and was there to play with my tongue not giving me a chance to withdraw. It was as if she held me captive, even though I knew I was physically so much stronger than she was. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t pull back. She knew it too.

I suddenly felt how she took one of my hands and guided it underneath her sweater. I knew what she was doing. I knew where she was taking me. It wasn’t fair on her part, but I couldn’t say anything. My mouth was too busy kissing her to find time to protest.

When my hand reached her naked breast, touching it sent an electric shock through me. I pulled my lips away from hers and looked into her eyes.

“You shouldn’t let me do this,” I warned her.