Wild Aces (24 page)

How the hell had I ended up at that apartment? And more importantly, how had things gone so wrong?

I knew Brea managed Dawson’s properties, but on nights that we scheduled pickups, all noise complaints were filtered through Dawson, so we never had to worry about the police getting called. Something had failed this time, and she’d walked in at the worst possible moment. Had it been just a few minutes later, that goddamn junkie wouldn’t have been able to point a gun at her head, he wouldn’t have been able to say anything to her, and the import wouldn’t have been in the apartment.

Now, she had,
“What the fuck do you think he’s going to do with it, bitch? He’s going to sell it,”
running through her head.

Nothing I said would make her forget it because what he’d said was the truth.

I’d fucked up. Big time.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Adrianna asked after she walked around the corner and stood next to me against the side of the building. There was the snap of a lighter as she fired up the end of a joint.

“Nothing to say really,” I told her. “Kevin was supposed to protect you, not get his gun taken away and end up tied to a chair by a toothless scumbag half his size. Everything just kept going wrong.” I gritted my teeth together. “And
nothing
should have.”

“That’s true.” She blew out a puff of smoke and handed me the joint. “That wasn’t normal, and it hasn’t ever happened before. We’ve had a seller change his mind, even as recently as a few weeks ago, but never a situation like tonight.” She scraped her boot over the snow. “But if we keep growing and acquiring more imports, it’s likely to happen again. We can’t predict how people will react when the moment finally arrives. All we can do is make sure we are protected and have plenty of backup.”

“I’ll work on finding you someone.”

“The majority go so smoothly; you’d think I was in there, buying a new set for my dining room.”

“They’re not fucking furniture, Adrianna. Don’t talk about them as if they were.” I held in the smoke until it burned the back of my throat, and then I coughed it out.

Her hand went to my shoulder. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. It came out all wrong, but what I said stands true. I don’t need someone permanent, just maybe someone on standby for the sellers who look to be on the rougher side.”

“Maybe that person should be me.” I didn’t want to go on the pickups. Hell, I hated going on this one, and I really wasn’t sure if I could handle going on any others. But it wasn’t about me. It was what was best for the compound.

Her hand dropped down to my arm, but it wasn’t to get the joint back. “You’re not going on the pickups. Even if you wanted to, I wouldn’t let you, so don’t let that thought even cross your mind. You shouldn’t have been there tonight, and I regret having to call you, but I had no other choice.”

“You and your assistant take all the risks. That’s not exactly fair, Adrianna.”

“Trapper.” She paused until I looked at her. “When we started the compound, I knew I would be running that side of the business. It’s just the way it needs to be, and I’m fine with it. Tell me the truth. Are you okay with everything you saw tonight?”

“I’ll be all right.” I had to be. I closed my eyes and exhaled another hit. I’d never fought Adrianna on our arrangement because I knew what her reasoning was. “You couldn’t protect me back then…”

Her fingers tightened around mine. “No, I couldn’t. But I can protect you now, and I plan to do that for as long as I can. So, let me worry about the pickups and the risks involved, and you worry about finding me someone who’s a little more badass than Kevin. Deal?”

“Yeah. Deal.”

She took the joint from me. “Now, are you going to tell me about Brea? That’s the real reason I came out here to talk to you.”

She nudged my shoulder until I answered, “I think tonight ruined any chance of something more happening between us.”

“Don’t be silly. There’s always a chance something more will happen.” I tried to disagree, but she cut me off, “I knew the minute you met her. I could feel the change in you immediately. It wasn’t like when you first started dating Shay. She made you aggravated and standoffish. With Brea, there’s been a lightness in you that I’ve never seen before.”

“That’s ironic since things with her aren’t light at all.”

She handed back the joint, and I took a long drag of it.

“Brea used to date my brother.”

She choked on the smoke as she blew it out. “What?”

I hadn’t planned on telling Adrianna that until I had more information. But fuck, there was no reason to hold back anything at this point. And the weed was helping it all come out. “My twin brother.”

“Jesus Christ, Trapper.”

I held up the joint. “You got any more of this? We’re gonna need it.”

“I’ve got plenty. Tell me everything.”

I took another hit. “His name was Cody. He died two years ago when he was saving some kids from getting hit by a car and ended up getting hit himself. I don’t know a whole lot about him, but Brea was going to help me find out how we got separated. Things with her have been messy. She thought I was her ex coming back from the dead.” I glanced at Adrianna, her face full of shock. It was a lot to take in, even from my side. “We were just starting to work through things, and then tonight happened. I have no idea what she’s thinking now.”

“After what Whitey said about you, she’s thinking the worst. You need to call her right now and explain everything to her.”

“You think so?”

“Absolutely.”

I’d never confessed that side of my life to any woman I’d ever been with. I’d hidden it from all of them. To protect everyone involved, that was just the way it had to be.

“I can’t promise it will go well—or that she’ll even answer the phone—but you have to try.” She took the joint from my hand and hugged me, rubbing circles over my back, like she’d done years ago when I went into her office so fucking sick with the flu that I was puking in the trash can under her desk.

It was as comforting now as it was then.

“I’ll meet you inside when you’re done.” She pushed the cherry of the joint into the snow. Then she stuck it in her pocket and walked back in the direction she’d come.

I leaned against the building and pulled out my phone. It was after two in the morning. I had a feeling that, no matter where she’d gone, Brea wasn’t asleep. No one could sleep after having a gun aimed at their head, holding an abused kid in their arms while rushing through piles of trash. Shit like that haunted you for a long time.

“Trapper,” she snapped, picking up after the second ring.

I started pacing, trying to figure out what I was going to say.

“I only answered the phone because I don’t want you to keep calling, and I don’t want you to show up at my house.” Her tone was sharper than I’d ever heard it.

I pictured her holding her forehead as she spoke, her eyes so heavy with emotion that she was having a hard time keeping them open.

“Brea—”

“Let me finish,” she said. “I don’t know what the hell happened tonight, but after everything else that’s gone on, I’m not ready to talk about it. I need space from you, Trapper. I need lots of space, and I need time to think this all through.”

“That’s not what I want. I—”

“I don’t want to hear it right now. I don’t want you to explain. I don’t want you to fill my head with another lie. Everything I saw and heard and felt tonight was horrifying—completely and utterly horrifying.”

She was right. I had lied about where I was going and everything that had to do with the compound.

“I was starting to really believe that you and I could be together…and then I walked into that apartment and…” Her voice cracked.

I could hear her crying. I wasn’t used to feeling so fucking helpless when it came to women. I just wanted to wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face in her neck and breathe her in. I wanted to explain myself. If she would only listen, she wouldn’t have to feel this way at all.

“I thought I had somewhat of an idea of who you are, and tonight showed me I have no idea at all.”

The high was making me so much more aware of what was going on here. “Can we talk about it? Let me explain—”

“You had a chance to explain before you ran out of your place tonight to sell that guy’s child.”

Jesus, it sounded fucking horrific when she said it like that. “If you’ll just let me—”

“No! You don’t get to start demanding things from me when you’re the one who’s been lying. You need to understand things from my side and how I’m feeling right now. I’m telling you, I need some space, Trapper. I really mean it.”

I understood things all right. I understood what it felt like to live in an apartment like that, to be stuck with people who didn’t give a fuck about you, who abused the hell out of you, people who would give you up for as little as a balloon of heroin.

I’d been that kid. That was the first twelve years of my life.

“I get it. I lied, and…” What more could I say? I wasn’t ready to tell her all that.

“Good-bye, Trapper.”

She hung up, and I stared at the screen, watching it switch from Brea’s name to the deck of cards in the background. I closed my eyes and searched for their smell. I needed those cards in my hand. I needed to get back into the city and over to Aced where I could wrap my fingers around a pair, run my other hand over a high stack of chips, and drown it all out. And when I finally got the silence I needed, I’d stay there to make sure the screaming and crying didn’t come back.

I walked back to the entrance and went inside just as Adrianna was shutting off the lights. “Need a ride back to the city?” I asked her.

“As long as it’s not out of the way.”

“Nah, your place is on the way to Aced.”

She stopped walking. “That’s where you’re going?” She searched my eyes. “She didn’t want to listen at all, did she?”

I shook my head. “She didn’t even let me talk. She wants space.”

“Don’t kill me for saying this.” Her hands went to my arm, and she tried to keep me from moving. “But I don’t necessarily blame her. She’s been hit with a lot in a really short time. She needs a minute to process.”

“And I fucking haven’t?”

“Trapper,” she called after me as I headed for the car, “just listen.”

I hadn’t meant to snap at her. All I wanted was for Brea to listen to me, so if that was what Adrianna was asking, it was the least I could do.

“You’ve been through so much,” she said. “There are days when I wonder how you’re able to deal with it all and still be sane. But Brea’s probably never dealt with anything like that before, and that apartment was a lot to take in. I see environments like that all the time, and it still shook me.” She was touching my shoulder again, her caress so gentle and nurturing. “Give her some time. Just a few days, so she can think it all over.”

“Then what?”

“Then show up at her doorstep, apologize, and tell her everything. It’s the only way she’ll ever understand why we were there tonight and why Whitey said what he did.”

“You want me to tell her
everything
?”

Adrianna hesitated. “If she’s the woman you want to be with, then yes, everything. It’s the only way it will ever work between you two. Then you need to bring her here, so she can see what we do and that you’re not the child trafficker that Whitey painted you out to be.”

I wanted to trust Brea, but I had no idea what her reaction would be if she found out the truth. “She could come here and go straight to the cops, and then the whole operation will be fucked.”

“Sounds like an excuse to me.”

“An excuse? For what?”

“For not letting her all the way into your life.”

I shook my head, knowing she was probably right. “That’s some risky shit, Adrianna. All the way around.”

“If you care about her, they’re risks you’re going to have to take.”

Brea

I hung up with Trapper and tiptoed back to the living room where Frankie was asleep on the couch.

“Nice try,” she said as I crawled in on the opposite side of her, resting my feet on the pillow beside her face. “I heard every word.”

“I really did try to be quiet.”

“You were honest with him. But quiet? No, you definitely weren’t quiet.”

After turning on the lamp beside the couch, I lifted one of the throw pillows from behind my back and hugged it against my chest. “Well…one of us needs to be honest since the other can’t seem to tell the truth.”

“You made that pretty clear to him.”

I wasn’t sure where she was going with this. “Are you saying I was too harsh?”

Frankie crossed her feet next to my head. “Something is definitely going on with Trapper. Tonight proved that. What you saw wasn’t pretty. I mean, you had a gun pointed at your head and witnessed a kid living in total filth. But it didn’t even sound like you gave him a chance to explain, and you’re trusting what that druggie said over him.”

She was right.

“You know, what if he wasn’t there to take the baby?” As she paused, I let the idea sink in. “What if he was there to save it?”

I hadn’t even considered that. I had immediately assumed he was doing something wrong. “But the guy did say Trapper was going to sell the baby.”