Wild and Wanton (14 page)

She could understand that, because she felt the same way. Until experiencing it herself, she had thought that this kind of feeling was something known only to the male of the species. She hadn't known it was possible for a woman to feel such heat for a man, know such longing for appeasement. His hands cradled her closer in a sensuous rocking motion that almost drove her crazy.

She buried her head against his chest in a fierce gesture. His lips brushed over her hairline, tempting her to raise her face. As his mouth lowered to cover hers in a probing, lingering kiss, his hand came up to move tantalizingly down her neck, sending tiny
thrills
along her collarbone and tautening her breasts in tingling expectancy. The promise was soon fulfilled. She had unfastened enough buttons for his hand to slip beneath the silky material of her dress to unclip her bra and sear her skin. The slightly abrasive touch was pleasant. Her blood pounded in her ears as his fingers traced a path to her heart, lingering for a moment to absorb the increased beat, before finding her rounded fullness. With exquisite sensitivity his index finger drew a tender circle round the tip of her breast. His thumb stroked the upper curve, then thumb and forefinger came together and she gasped at the ecstasy of a playful pinch.

Her gasp lengthened as his tongue took advantage of her softly parted lips, seeking out the intimacy of her mouth, draining her strength and sending her floating on a sea of delicious sensuality. She sagged against him, lost to everything but this sensation. She had been created for him. She was his slave. Her body had been fashioned for his desire. She wanted to give, and to get. She knew there would be pleasure for them both in acquainting her fingers with his body. But at the moment she was too weak to take an active role; all she could do was enjoy.

His mouth dragged itself from hers to the greater draw of her breast. The nipple that had responded to his touch blossomed again as his mouth took possession of the excited bud.

‘I
. . . thought we were going to eat.' Why had she said that? Who cared about food!

‘Later.'

‘Nick,' she implored. ‘Please don't rush me.' What was the matter with her? To call a halt was at variance with her own desire. Yet she couldn't help herself. She felt one thing and said something else entirely.

‘Why should I want to rush you and deny myself the delight of a slow and delicious possession, every second savored to the ultimate for its own sweet joy.'

‘No, it's too soon.' She wanted to say, ‘Don't take any notice of me. This isn't me talking.' But the words that came out of her mouth rang with mounting conviction. ‘For both our sakes, it's best to wait. You've done so much with your life. It makes me feel inadequate. I know I dragged my feet at the beginning; I wasn't at all impressed with the idea of being the girl for the Allure promotion. But from the moment I signed the contract, everything changed, and it was suddenly something I wanted to do.'

‘You don't have to pretend, Lindsay. I don't think any less of you for dragging your feet. I've admitted that you were right and I was wrong. My interest in you wasn't business motivated; it was personal from the beginning. I just wouldn't admit it. Although you needn't have resorted to the means you did to drive it home to me. I would have figured it out
eventually.'

‘Drive it home to you? You surely don't mean that piece in Hot Sauce? I didn't tip off Maisie Pellman! You can't think it was me!'

‘I'm not condemning you for it. You're a very clever girl. As things have turned out, it was a good stroke.'

‘It wasn't me, I tell you.'

‘All right, it wasn't you. Don't upset yourself about it.'

‘Then stop humoring me and believe me.'

‘I do believe you.'

‘You don't. You're just saying that. I wouldn't jeopardize my big chance. I want to do the promotion, and you won't believe that, either. Not that I really blame you. I was dead set against it for a long time. But I changed my mind. And now I want to do it.'

‘All right. We'll talk about it later. Now . . .'

His mouth claimed hers. This kiss was not gentle and questing; it was possessive and demanding. While he held her body compliant with one hand, the fingers of his other hand unfastened the remaining buttons on her dress, giving him greater access to what lay beneath. Both his hands went inside, moving round her back to delight her skin, squeezing and kneading and molding her flesh. She felt her mind racing; she wasn't able to maintain the fast-fading conviction that this shouldn't be allowed to happen. There were things they had to settle first.

‘We
. . . should . . . talk. Now . . .'

Did she honestly expect him to take notice of such a feeble plea? It was difficult enough to find a voice, let alone the words to speak, with his hands plunging her into a whirlpool of excited feeling, in the very center of which was a still, dull ache.

‘I want you, too, Nick, but . . .'

‘That's all I need to hear.'

His drugging, explosive kiss scorched the roof of her mouth and drained her will to resist. Why shouldn't she do what she really wanted and enjoy it? She went limp in his arms again and
did
enjoy it. Strong, expert fingers worked their way lower down her spine. The circular, massaging caresses achieved their aim. The favored area moved closer to him and held her in a magic vise of anticipation of what would come next. Her hands found their way round his neck as her slight frame shivered at his touch, enthralled and receptive. The excitement of his kiss, his embrace, made her pulses throb. She yielded to the terrifying yet irresistible pull that was shaping her body and making her mindless to everything but the increasing urgency racking him, a galloping fire that was consuming her in its heat. A red mist floated before her eyes. In a moment she knew that she would be lost to everything, with no way out, no other course open to her but sweet surrender. The fact that she thought it sweet was conclusive proof that she had
already
surrendered in her mind.

Yet the thought still persisted that she wouldn't be doing him any favors. She had to make one last stab at trying to make him see.

‘Nick, you must hear me out.'

He tossed her a wry, chiding, trying-to-be-amused look. ‘Not going cold on me again, are you?'

‘No. I swear I'm not. If you still want me when I've said my piece, I'll go along with it.'

‘Be quick about it, then. “I want your sweetness.' His hand lightly flicked her hip bone.

‘I'm thinking of you as well as myself. I know you'd get a better deal by waiting. You've done so much. And I don't mean those blown-up-out-of-all-proportion press reports. Luisa told the all the things you've been.'

‘She had no right to.'

‘She's proud of you, Nick. And she has reason to be. You've never lived your life vicariously; you're much too vital. You've fulfilled your craving for excitement. You've kicked the dust of the world off your feet. Your experiences have made you what you are today. Well, I'm going to demand no less of life than you have.'

‘Just what are you saying?'

‘The contract isn't going to be torn up. I'm going through with it in the hope that I'll discover what I'm looking for in myself. It's not just talk. And it's not the encouragement
I've
had from Ami and the others that's given me this sense of confidence. It's something I know from within. It's for us.'

‘Like hell it is! It won't do me much good if you're somewhere on the other side of the world and I'm chained here.'

‘It's just a year out of our lives. Is that so much to ask? As I am now, I haven't the experience to match you,'

His mouth rose in a smile. ‘Don't let that worry you. I have enough experience for both of us.'

He wasn't taking her seriously. ‘I'm sure you have,' she snapped, her angry eyes rising to confront the laughter in his.

‘Lindsay, get this through your head. I have no intention of letting you get your experience from anyone but me.'

‘You've got a one-track mind. I'm not talking about that kind of experience. Perhaps it's unwise of me to admit this, but I'll wait for you. The way I feel about you won't let me make love with another man. I'm not experienced enough in living. I've got a lot of stretching to do.'

‘Stretch alongside me. Preferably on a bed.' He reached out to touch her cheek, playing havoc with her emotions. ‘It's been very interesting,' he drawled. ‘You've aired your views. Now, can we take up from where we left off?'

‘No, Nick,' she choked out, jerking away
from
the lazy descent of his fingers, endeavoring to still the desire welling up in her.

She clenched her fingers tightly together, digging her nails into the palms of her hands as punishment for wanting to reach out and touch him. She ached for the feel of his hands on her body; anticipatory tremors tingled through her at what she longed for. She wanted to go to bed with him and stretch herself physically. But in bed or out of it, she had no intention of being the passive partner. She had to be equal in all respects.

‘I want more than just now,' she said.

‘Don't knock it, Lindsay. It won't be
just
now. I don't know what fears you've got, but I wish you'd give them the boot. Trust me to make it exceptional for you. Trust me to take care of you.'

‘But that's just it. I don't want you to take care of me. I want us to care together. Why are you too stubborn to understand what I'm saying? I don't want just a sizzling moment of passion with you, however stimulating and exciting it would be, and I'm not denying for a second that it wouldn't be that and much, much more. I want to keep you, Nick. And I'll have a better chance of doing that if I've proved something to myself first. Your taking care of me isn't the answer. I've got to find my own security within myself. Otherwise I'm going to be jealous of every other woman you
look
at.'

‘I wouldn't give you cause to be jealous.'

‘An insecure woman doesn't need a cause. The other day, in your office, I was jealous of your secretary.'

‘You have no need to be jealous of Barbara.' He pushed his hand through his hair and then said solemnly, ‘It might be as well for you to know about that relationship.'

‘Relationship?' she queried.

‘I put that clumsily. Not that kind of relationship. At least—' He groaned out the admission—‘not on my part.'

‘I had no idea I was stirring anything up,' Lindsay said coldly.

‘You're not, as you'll see if you'll just listen.'

‘I'm listening.'

‘Thank you. Barbara is an intelligent and very attractive woman. I've used her a few times. God, that's clumsy, too! What I mean is, I've taken her with me when I've thought her presence would swing a deal my way. She's multilingual, her memory is impeccable, and I have to admit that in business dealings she's been an asset. I had no idea that she had hopes of one day being the mistress of the House of Delmar. And before you ask, she's never been my mistress. I've never had the slightest inclination toward her in that way. Anyway, we've had a talk about it. She's all straightened out, and you don't have to worry about her.'

‘Perhaps not, but there'll be other Barbaras,'
Lindsay
said, surprised and touched at his wanting to set the record straight. ‘I imagine that your secretary is the kind of sophisticated woman you usually go out with. I must seem vastly different to you.' What on earth had made her say such a gauche thing? Lindsay asked herself.

‘Is that what this is all about?' he asked incredulously, his expression lightening. ‘You don't feel sophisticated enough for me!' His surprise was too clear to be anything but genuine. ‘It seems that Barbara's not the only one I need to set straight about certain things. If by saying that you're not sophisticated you mean that you're not plastic, then I agree. Barbara's like the five women you selected for me for the Allure promotion. I picked you. Can't you understand yet that it's your difference that caught my eye? And you're certainly different, my love. I can't imagine anyone but you interrupting the kind of torrid moment we were having—and to talk!'

She suddenly felt as if she'd shed a weight that had been lying on her heart. Luisa was right. The dress had brought her luck. Luisa had been wearing it when her husband proposed to her, and it pleased Lindsay that history was repeating itself.

‘I guess I've been stupid, Nick. But talking hasn't been time wasted. I needed to get something out of my system and have my mind set at rest. Perhaps I don't want to be the
Allure
girl, after all. I don't want to put a lot of distance between us. Not that I intend to stay home all day. I'll find something. Women, as well as men, need to be mentally stimulated.'

‘That's something I get in plenty from you. You've certainly proved your ability to keep me on my toes. I never know what you're going to throw at me next. I've little doubt about your ability in other directions, but you're going to give me confirmation, aren't you?'

‘I most certainly am. And yet . . . it's one thing to drift into something and let it happen. But to give permission!' The lashes she'd lowered came back up. ‘I'm being very silly again, and there mustn't be any more silliness between us.'

‘I don't want anything between us,' he growled, hoisting her into his arms and carrying her into the bedroom. ‘And soon there won't be.'

Being picked up like this and cherished close to his chest touched her romantic heart. She would have liked this moment to come after they were married, if only to keep up the illusion of the magic spell cast by the dress, but times had changed since Luisa was a girl. It was unrealistic for couples who were in love and inspired with this passionate urgency to wait. Still, it would have been, nice. Lindsay's reservations were not, however, deeply-felt; on moral questions her mind was at peace. She trusted Nick completely, and she didn't want
to
wait any more than he did.