Wild Heat (Northern Fire) (20 page)

The phone interrupted her unhappy thoughts.

She picked it up and gave her usual greeting, pleasantly surprised to find a cruise director she’d worked with already.

“Hello, luv,” Stu said in his charming Australian accent. “We’ll be in port the day after tomorrow. I’m hoping you will be able to put together something special for a unique group of guests.”

“Tell me about them and I’ll see what I can do.”

It turned out a group of certified climbers, who were also old college friends, were on board and wanted a true Alaskan experience.

Caitlin moved some things around on the schedule and booked the climbers with Tack on one of his excursions that was rare because so few hikers had the skills and experience necessary to make the trek. All the while, she made small talk with the cruise director and encouraged him to avail his other passengers of their less challenging excursions.

“Will that do?” she finally asked.

“Very nicely. Are you part of the MacKinnon in MacKinnon Bros. Tours?” Stu asked.

Ignoring the twinge the question gave her heart, Caitlin replied, “No. I’m only their part-time clerical help and receptionist.”

“More than that, I hope. You’re far too good at this.”

Somehow they got into a discussion of her education and the years she’d spent schmoozing the glitterati in Los Angeles.

“Have you ever considered a career with the cruise lines?” Stu asked. “Your skills are exactly what we need on the hospitality side and you would have the opportunity to see more of the world.”

She asked where he’d been and he listed an impressive number of countries he’d visited in his job.

“Look, this is probably presumptuous of me, but we have an opening coming up in our department. You should apply.”

Nonplussed, Caitlin tried to process the offer.

Before her realization that she loved Tack and the equal but far less palatable certainty that he did not love her, she would have turned Stu down immediately.

Only, how would she handle living here in Cailkirn either staying in her current no-man’s-land of a relationship with Tack or breaking things off, all the while knowing Tack didn’t love her?

Worse, how could she watch him eventually fall in love and build a family with someone else? The family
she
could have had if Caitlin hadn’t made her colossal mistake eight years ago.

“You’re thinking about it, I can tell.”

“I’ve just returned home.” And she’d promised not to leave again.

But her gran and aunts didn’t need her like she’d thought they did. She’d realized that pretty quickly. They had been doing just fine without her. Gran’s insistence that Caitlin should feel free to put more hours into MacKinnon Bros. Tours only underlined how little the elderly women needed her around the Knit & Pearl.

Caitlin had thought if she came home, she’d finally settle into the one place she belonged on this earth. But maybe she just didn’t have one?

LA certainly hadn’t been it, but she wouldn’t figure out if Cailkirn was if she didn’t take the time to build a life here. Not the life given to her by others because she was an orphan child with no other options, but an adult life that she’d put her own effort and commitment into.

Stu had to ring off before Caitlin could tell him she wasn’t interested, but she wasn’t worried about it. His suggestion had probably been a one off thing anyway that he’d forget by the time his ship was in port.

Caitlin’s gaze fell to the bottom right of her computer screen and she noticed one o’clock had come and gone five minutes ago. Ruthlessly crushing the impulse to wait around and see if Malina had left so Caitlin would have a few minutes with Tack before he had to leave for his next tour, she got ready to go.

Once she’d changed into her athletic shoes for the walk back to the bed-and-breakfast, Caitlin grabbed the string backpack she brought into the office instead of a purse. Wearing it made walking briskly easier, especially with the tourists that crowded the main street’s walkway.

Tempted to leave without saying anything, Caitlin could not ignore the ingrained polite behavior taught by her gran, and she called out a
good-bye
to both Tack and his mother before going out the front door of MacKinnon Bros. Tours.

“Why haven’t you brought Caitlin to dinner again, Taqukaq?” his
aana
asked him.

“She’s not a piece of luggage for me to cart around,
Aana
. If you want her to come to dinner, invite her.”
Please
.

Tack was missing Kitty already, and his self-imposed restriction of his time with her was not even a week old. He didn’t like what that said about his feelings for her.

“Don’t be silly, son.”

“What exactly am I being silly about?”

“Caitlin is yours and always has been.”

He laughed darkly at words that weren’t anywhere near true. “She was never mine, or she would not have married Nevin Barston. And she’s certainly not mine now.”

Aana’s
expression went from patient to patently concerned. “How long are you going to keep punishing her for that mistake? Don’t you think the pain that man caused her was enough of a price for her to pay?”

“What are you talking about? I’m not punishing Kitty.”

“Are you sure about that, son?”

“Of course.” But some tiny voice deep inside asked him the same thing. Was he punishing them both for choices made when they were too young to see the consequences?

Her for walking away and him for allowing it?

“If that’s true, then don’t you think you need to stop holding her at arm’s length?”

“I don’t.” But he wasn’t about to tell his mom just how closely he held the adorable redhead.

Aana
made a dismissive sound. “She needs you, Tack, probably now more than ever. And she’s always needed you.”

He might have argued that at one time, too, but he couldn’t anymore. Not that he was convinced Kitty realized it. She seemed oblivious to how much she needed him and denied that he should have pursued their friendship, rather than giving up.

“I’m ready for grandchildren, Taqukaq.”

Tack’s gut tied itself in a knot, less from any pressure his mom’s words might cause and more from how much they resonated inside him.

He fell back on old explanations, though. “You know I’m too busy building the business to think about looking for a woman to marry.”

He ignored the voice in his brain that tried to tell him he’d already found her. Kitty Grant had rejected him once. Giving her the starring role in that dream again would be the height of stupidity. Wouldn’t it?

“Your business is doing great. Whatever you needed to prove, my son, you have proven, don’t you think?”

He shook his head. “I’m just building a life I can be proud of.”

“Your father and I are already proud of you. You should be proud of yourself. Now, it is time to build a
family
. And you don’t have to go looking for the woman to build it with.”
Aana
gave him a wry look. “She’s in your reception area five mornings a week.”

Six actually, but he wasn’t going to bring that up now. “Kitty and I are just friends,
Aana
.”

“Whatever you say, Tack. Just please remember that fooling yourself doesn’t mean you’re fooling anyone else.” His mom stood up and put her arms out. “Give me a hug. I need to pick some things up before I go home.”

He did as she asked and then walked her to the door, holding it open for her.

She patted his chest as she walked by. “Don’t be too stubborn, son. Nothing good ever comes of denying love.”

Despite his best efforts, it was clear his mom was getting her hopes up about Tack and Kitty. But this was not the worst realization he had in that moment. No, it was the knowledge that there was too much truth in
Aana’s
words for him to ignore.

The love he’d thought long in the past beat in his heart with all the strength of a mature man’s emotions.

And what the hell he was going to do about that, he did not know.

T
ack stormed into MacKinnon Bros. Tours, his mood as dark as an Alaskan winter, only to pull up short when he discovered Kitty still at her desk.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Her head came up with a snap, blue eyes filling with concern. “Working. What’s the matter? I thought you’d enjoy this last hike. You got to take experienced clients out on one of your favorite trails. Did something happen?”

“Something besides Stu telling me you plan to apply for a job with his ship?” Tack snarled.

The damned Australian had been all smiles about the idea, too, promising to give her a good reference. For a price, Tack was damn sure. The man wanted Tack’s wildcat.

Kitty’s shock was either genuine or she was a hell of a lot better actress than he’d ever thought. “What? No, that’s not what I—”

“Are you saying he lied to me?” Other than today, Tack had always liked the man and working with him.

“No.”

“Then you are leaving.” Tack slammed through to his office.

Her promise to stick around had lasted how many weeks? He knew this was going to happen. And still he’d let himself hope. Did that make him a chump or just terminally stupid?

“I’m not leaving!” Man, Kitty could do volume when she wanted.

She stood in his doorway, vibrating with angry indignation. Her cheeks burned with color, her eyes sparking with fury. “How dare you accuse me of breaking my promise without even talking to me?”

“I did talk to you.” He indicated the reception area with a jerk of his head. “In there. You said Stu wasn’t lying.”

“He wasn’t lying that he suggested I try for the job.” She stepped into his office, slamming the door behind her, though they were alone in the office. “I didn’t agree.”

“So, you aren’t going to apply?” Tack pushed, his fear-fueled anger not nearly abated.

“Do you
want
me to?” she asked with sharp bite.

“No!”

She stomped over to him in a way that shouldn’t be possible in her feminine heels and poked him in the sternum. “Listen here, Taqukaq MacKinnon, I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not even saying I never think of leaving, but I am telling you that when I make a promise, I do my very best to keep it.”

“Good.”

But she wasn’t done. “You may not need me here. My gran and aunts may not need me, but maybe
I
need to be here. Did you ever think of that? Well, did you?”

All the damn time, but the words weren’t about to come out. “Who said we don’t need you?” he asked, his own voice still gravelly with anger-fueled adrenaline.

“I do.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” she asked, her blue gaze burning with hope.

“You’ve made a difference here. Egan is thrilled to have your help. We all are.” It was a cop-out but he wasn’t ready to share emotions he was still coming to terms with.

Hell, when did a man ever want to talk about his feelings? It sure as hell wasn’t a MacKinnon family trait. That was for damn sure.

She glared at him. “There’s more to me than my ability to talk on the phone and file.”

“I know.” To prove it, he pulled her into a heated kiss.

Somehow they were tearing each other’s clothes off, all that anger and frustration morphing into volcanic passion. He kissed her in a way that said all the things he wasn’t going to and she kissed him back, making promises he wasn’t sure she realized she was offering.

They ended up on all fours, his body covering hers, his cock buried deep inside her. They mated like that for interminable minutes, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to touch her.

Pulling her back, he balanced on his knees so he was kneeling and she was riding astride him facing away. Taking advantage of the position, he touched her everywhere, playing with her breasts and their sensitive peaks, delving between her lips to rub her clitoris the way she liked.

She screamed his name when she climaxed. He shouted incoherent words of love in Chugach Alutiiq, the language of his mother’s people, thankful Kitty had never learned these particular terms.

Deep in thought, Caitlin descended the stairs slowly on her way to the dining room that evening.

Tack had only dropped her off an hour before. She’d wanted to spend the evening together, but he’d refused, citing plans with his family he couldn’t get out of without explanations he couldn’t make. Didn’t want to make, more like.

She just didn’t understand him.

He’d been furious at the thought of her applying for a job that would take her out of Cailkirn, but then maybe that was more to do with not wanting to replace her at MacKinnon Bros. Travel.

No, that was ridiculous. Tack would never get that upset over something business related. Would he?

He didn’t make any bones about the fact that his life revolved around his family and his business right now, with no room for a relationship or time to even go looking for one. She knew his business meant more to him than money and success. He had a deep-seated need to prove his worth and had chosen MacKinnon Bros. Tours as the vehicle to do it.

So maybe his anger
had
been about her leaving the tour company.

But the passion they’d shared after their short but loud argument? It had been scorching.

Did a man make love like that to a woman he saw as nothing but a casual sexual fling?

The phone rang as Caitlin walked by the reception desk. She picked it up. “Knit and Pearl Bed-and-Breakfast, may I help you?”

“I doubt very much you can help me. You were never very good at doing it the years we were married.”

Caitlin’s hand froze on the old-fashioned handset at the sound of a voice she’d hoped to never hear again. “Nevin.”

“You recognize my voice.”

“Apparently.”

“You haven’t forgotten me.”

“What do you want, Nevin?” She tried to control her breathing, but her inhalations were growing more and more shallow as panic tried to claim her.

“Is that any way to talk to your husband?” he asked in the icy tone that had often meant severe unpleasantness for her.

Caitlin started to shake but did her best not to let that show in her voice. “You aren’t my husband anymore, Nevin. You never really were.”

“The state of California would disagree.”

“Whatever the legal documents said, you failed miserably in the husband arena.” She couldn’t believe she had the temerity to turn words he’d often thrown in her face back on him, but he wasn’t her jailer anymore.

And she refused to forget that truth.

She’d broken free and he wouldn’t trap her again, not even in her own mind.

“Bold words for such a weak little slut.”

“Two things I never was.”

“I beg to differ.”

“I don’t care. You know what? I don’t care what you want either. Call my lawyer if you have something to say to me.” Not that she expected the law firm to forward anything to her now that Caitlin no longer had them on retainer for the divorce.

She hung up the phone on his protesting voice.

Not surprised in the least when it rang again, she wanted to ignore it but knew if she didn’t answer, her gran or one of her aunts would. Caitlin was no more willing to subject them to Nevin than she ever was.

“Say what you have to say and then stop calling, or I’ll file a harassment complaint,” she said instead of a greeting.

Only after the words left her mouth did she realize how revealing they would be to someone else if it
wasn’t
Nevin on the other end of the line.

“Have you forgotten everything I taught you of manners?” Nevin asked condescendingly.

Relief and disgust flowed together inside her in a confusing emotional mixture. “My gran taught me manners.”

“That crazy old bat?”

“Do
not
insult my gran, asshole.”

His audible inhalation said she’d scored a direct hit with her blatant disrespect.

“You should take care how you talk to me, Caitlin.”

“Why is that?” she asked with sarcasm.

“Who do you think is the principal backer in that little movie deal that’s going to put Cailkirn on the map?”

He was behind the fiasco movie deal Carey James had brought to town? Oh, that was funny. It really was. “Cailkirn has been on the map for nearly two hundred years.”

“Don’t pretend ignorance to what I’m talking about. In a small backwater town like that, a movie production coming to town is going to be the fodder of all the important gossip.”

“We don’t have the same definition of
important
up here as you and your sycophants do.”

“Nevertheless, you do not deny knowledge of the movie production?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“If you say so.”

“Don’t be flippant.”

“Screw yourself, Nevin. You’re the only one who would enjoy it.”

She actually smiled at the avalanche of invectives her words instigated. Nevin preferred subtle cruelty to swearing. Caitlin had no use for subtlety with the monster she’d once been married to.

When he wound down, she asked almost calmly, “What exactly are you trying to accomplish here, Nevin?”

He didn’t need to know about the sweat making her palms slick, creating wet spots on the back of her blouse and under her arms, or the fine tremors in her fingers.

His initial silence indicated her question shocked him more than her crude suggestion and accusation of sexual deficiency. “You need to realize I still have power in your life.”

“No, you really don’t.” That was one thing she was sure about, something she’d had to fight too hard to make true to give up—ever.

“Are you trying to say you don’t care if I pull the funding from this movie deal?”

“Not a bit.”

“I don’t believe you.” But his voice didn’t carry its usual arrogant certainty.

“And I
definitely
don’t care what you believe.”

“That stupid little town is too important to you for that to be true.”

“You’re assuming I think making a movie here is a good thing.”

“Of course it is.”

“No.”

“Your hometown needs this.”

“No.” With Nevin, it was better to keep it simple.

“The town is dying.”

“In whose deluded imaginings?”

“There are barely more than two thousand permanent residents.”

“We have towns in Alaska with a tenth of that population.” She sighed, thinking maybe if she laid it out for him, he’d realize his little harangue was hopeless. “This town has lasted centuries without Hollywood. I’m pretty sure it can last at least a few more years the same way.”

“You think you have all the answers.”

“Honestly, Nevin? I don’t know what the questions are supposed to be. I left you more than a year ago. Our divorce finalized months ago. It’s over.”

“You’d like to believe that.”

“I do believe that.”

“You owe me.”

“You’re right. I owe you at least three broken ribs, a fractured wrist and clavicle, countless bruises, a boatload of emotional abuse, too many nights of painful and completely unsatisfying sex, but you know what?”

His silence had a stunned quality to it.

Why shouldn’t it? She hadn’t stood up to him since their first year together. Even then, she’d been so in awe of his wealth, sophistication, and lifestyle that she’d kept silent about most of the things she didn’t like.

“You just don’t matter enough for me to want to repay you for all that you
gave
me,” she said, throwing back in his face more of the words he’d used to denigrate her so many times.

“You wouldn’t be so sanguine if the cruise ships stopped coming to your port.”

She wasn’t surprised he completely disregarded what she’d said. That would require acknowledging his own unimportance.

“We’re the only port on this side of the peninsula. The cruise ships aren’t going anywhere.”

“That could change.”

“It could.” But she wasn’t worried about it. That threat had as little power over her as his first one. “However, it would take a much bigger player than you to make it happen. You might be something in LA, but up here? You’re nothing, Nevin.”

“I have connections—” he started to splutter.

“So do the people of this town. We may be small, but as I’ve pointed out, we’ve been here a long time. Whoever you think you’ve got in your pocket won’t go against the interests of their home state and relationships that go back generations, not months.”

“Anyone can be bought.”

“If that were true, I’d still be in California.” Nevin had offered her a great deal of money to drop her petition for the divorce, along with promises to change.

Which this phone call proved had as much substance as his honor. None at all.

“You weren’t thinking straight. Your disease had wreaked havoc with your rationality.”

“My
disease
was the result of irrationality, not the cause of it.”

“Was?” he sneered. “You expect me to believe you’re well.”

“I don’t care what you believe.” When would that particular truth penetrate his thick skull?

“You probably still look like a skin-covered skeleton,” he scorned. “I don’t know why I bothered to call you. No man could get an erection if he had to look at you while fucking you.”

She winced at his coarse language. Tack didn’t have a lily-white tongue, but he had standards for the words he said around women and children.

“You just keep thinking that.” She hung up, done with the conversation, even if he wasn’t.

She waited a full minute to see if he called back. If he did, she planned to take the phone off the hook and pretend it was an accident if it was discovered before she put it back in the cradle later.

But Nevin didn’t call back.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Caitlin turned to head back upstairs. She needed to change into clothes that weren’t sweat soaked.

She stopped short at the sight of Aunt Elspeth.

Caitlin opened her mouth, but she didn’t know what to say. How much had the elderly woman heard?

She didn’t have to figure it out because her aunt rushed forward and enveloped Caitlin in a warm hug and a cloud of Chanel No°5. “Oh, I’m so proud of you, Kitty dear. You were so strong. I’m sure I would have crumpled under whatever that awful man was saying, but you didn’t.”