Wild with You (15 page)

 

Chapter 18

I
N
HER
MIND
, the difference between loneliness and love spanned the continental United States. It was like the distinction between New York and Oregon. And right now she didn't want either one. She wanted to make an emergency landing in North Dakota and wait out the storm.

Crossing her arms in front of her bare chest, Kat backed away. How had they gone from “I'll brighten your day with a lap dance” to “I'm falling in love with you”? They'd known each other a week. OK, maybe she'd lusted after him for years. But that didn't mean she
knew
him.

“This was insane.” She glanced around the room, searching for her clothes. She found her underwear and slipped them on, followed by her bra and the shirt she'd folded beside his bed. “And you had to tell me now?”

“I know what I feel Kat,” Brody said, following her lead and pulling on the clothes she'd stripped off him. “And I'll be damned if I'm going to let you feel unwanted and unworthy of love for another day when that is exactly what I feel for you.”

“You can't,” she said, the words falling out in spite of the panic cartwheeling through her. “In less than a week?”

Wearing only his jeans, he put his hands on his hips. “I can't love a woman who offers support? Who listens to me? And who drives me crazy with desire?”

“I'm not the only woman in the world willing to experiment with kinky fantasies,” she shot back.

“No,” he said evenly, his gaze locked with hers. “But you're the only one I want to tie up. The only one I want in my bed covered in whip cream. The only one—­”

“You don't know enough about me to love me,” she snapped, the panic like a tornado now, threatening to envelop her. “What is my favorite color? My favorite food? What kind of movies do I like to watch? And there is so much I don't know about you.”

“I don't give a damn about colors. I like a good burger and the occasional steak. I prefer action flicks, but I'll watch just about anything. I've seen
Cinderella
nearly a hundred times because that was Katie's favorite when she was little. I'd be happy if I never saw another Disney princess movie again,” he said, the words coming out hot and fast. “How does knowing any of that help?”

“It matters,” she said.

His brown eyes stared at her, dark and possessive. She'd seen a glimmer of
she's mine
in his gaze before, and she should have heeded the warning. She should have left before they'd landed here.

“It matters,” she continued, her voice rising with each word, “because I think about the number of ­people who know those things about me, and I come up with a big fat zero.”

Kat shook her head. She'd imagined tonight would lead to raised voices, possibly screaming. But not like this.

His hands fell to his sides. “Look Kat, I don't want to fight with you. But I needed to tell you how I feel. I love you, Kat. I don't care if your favorite color is fuchsia or if you saw
Frozen
a dozen times in the theater. I'd like to learn your favorite things, but knowing won't change how I feel about you. I don't know what that means for the future, for us, but—­”

“You told me because you think I'm leaving,” she said, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place. “Now that Josh has regained his memory, I'll be heading back to the East Coast.”

He cocked his head to one side, studying her. “Aren't you?”

She nodded. Her work was in New York. Brianna was there, waiting for her to provide a forever home. The life she'd built for herself—­it was all there.

“I had to say something before I took you back to my bed,” he said. “It was the right thing to do.”

The truth crystallized in her mind. Brody Summers wanted to do the right thing. He never strayed from that path. And that meant giving her what he thought she needed.

But she'd lived most of her life without love, without anyone wanting her beyond her academic and professional life. And she wasn't about to risk her heart, to open herself to the rejection that would come when their week-­long fling fell apart. Because it would hurt ten times as much as the family who hadn't wanted to keep her as a child when Brody told her loved her but couldn't be with her. And that day would come.

But not if she got out first. Not if she left the burning fear that had eclipsed every other emotion—­desire, wanting, joy—­carry her away from here.

“Doing the right thing just cost you a lap dance,” she said, turning to the door.

“I didn't fall for the fantasy, Kat,” he said. “I fell for you.”

Those words planted a kernel of hope. She wanted to believe him. But in just one week? If it was that easy, if it only took a week to learn to love her, why hadn't it happened before?

Because you run. You started running as a teenager, leaving the families before they gave you up. And you haven't stopped.

The hope withered and died before it grew roots. What if Brody changed his mind? What if the very real obstacles proved to be too much? “It won't work, Brody. Your life and your family are here. And mine are waiting for me in New York.”

“It's only a plane flight,” Brody said. “We can find a way to make it work.”

“No, we can't,” she said, biting back the words,
I'm too afraid you'll hurt me if I let you in.

“Good-­bye, Brody.”

 

Chapter 19

“P
LEASE
TELL
ME
you have a good reason for dragging us out of bed in the middle of the night,” Chad said, sinking into a chair beside Lena. The golden retriever at her feet glanced up at Brody with a look that echoed Chad's words.

“It's seven in the morning,” Brody said. “You're scheduled to take the helicopter out to a logging site in a ­couple of hours. Katie has work. And this couldn't wait.” He scanned the tired faces seated at his kitchen table.

“If it is about my ring,” his sister said, “I showed it to everyone.”

“If this is a family meeting, shouldn't Liam be here too?” Chad said. “Based on that rock, he's one of us now.”

“I'm here. Without a ring on my finger,” Lena added with a pointed look at Chad.

His brother flashed a charming smile. “But you know it's coming. I'm just waiting for the perfect moment.”

Brody jumped in before the conversation dissolved to weddings. “Josh has something he wants to share.” He nodded to his little brother seated at the opposite end of the table.

“That's why you pulled me out of bed?” Josh demanded. “I could have e-­mailed or sent a text. Instead of leaving Megan asleep in my bed.”

“Josh.” Brody stared down the length of the table.

“Fine,” Josh said, glancing from Chad to Lena to Katie. “My memory is coming back.”

Suddenly awake and alert, Katie and Chad fired off questions, demanding to know how he was feeling, if he recalled everything and whether this was a result of the treatment. Josh patiently explained what he could.

“We will find out soon if he still qualifies for the trial,” Brody added.

“But it doesn't sound like he needs it,” Chad said.

“Which means your doctor will be heading home,” his sister said, looking at him.

“Kat is Josh's doctor,” Brody pointed out. “Not mine.”

“Josh isn't the one who has fallen head over heels for Dr. Katherine Arnold,” Katie said.

“Katie, I distinctly remember you telling me to mind my own business when you started seeing Liam.”

“I did,” his sister agreed, reaching for her coffee mug. “But you hiked out to the cabin where we were staying and busted right in.”

“We were worried about you,” Brody said.

“And now the tables are turned. It's my turn to worry about you, Brody.” Katie took a sip of coffee and added: “Have you told her how you feel about her?”

“She's leaving,” Brody said, his voice firm. Hell, as far as he was concerned, she'd already walked away. Sure, he'd followed her into the hall last night pointing out that she couldn't exactly walk up the gravel drive and hail a cab. Though she'd looked ready to try.

“Do you love her?” his sister challenged.

“Back off, Katie,” he growled.

“That's a yes,” Chad said. “And I'm betting you told her. So what happened, bro?”

“I told her. Kat spent her entire life alone. I can't imagine what that is like because I've always had you,” Brody said, looking around the table at his siblings. “I just wanted her to know that I cared.”

“And then what happened?” Kat asked, her expression serious.

“She left,” he said.

“You let her go?” Chad demanded. “Just like that?”

“What would you have done?” Brody said, not bothering to mask his frustration. “Follow her and demand that she love me back?”

Chad frowned. “When you put it that way, it sounds a little creepy, you're right.”

“And it wouldn't work. Making demands,” Lena said. “Give her time. And just keep loving her. Without asking for anything in return.”

Brody swore he saw Chad grasp Lena's hand under the table and give it a squeeze.

“Lena's right,” Katie said. “You need to prove that you're going to stay in her life. No one else ever has. You need to show her that you will.”

“Yeah, man, what the hell are we doing here talking about my memory with the sun barely peeking over the mountains when the woman you love is upstairs?” Josh said, pushing back from the table. “For all I know, I might forget everything again tomorrow. My short-­term memory isn't important.”

“Yes, it is.” Katie stood and wrapped her arms around her brother. “I didn't want to start planning my wedding until we knew if there was a chance you'd get your memory back. I'd hoped you would remember the day.”

“No guarantees,” Josh said.

Brody watched his family exchange hugs and then head for the door. He'd do anything for these ­people. He'd known that for a long time. And he wanted to add Kat to that group. But he couldn't push her to feel something when she wasn't ready. His family was right. He needed to give her time. And even then there were no guarantees.

But waiting didn't mean he had to avoid her. He could go to her now. And heck, maybe find out her favorite color before she flew across the country.

After taking the stairs two at a time, Brody reached the door to his little sister's childhood room and paused. Inside, he heard Kat's voice. He picked out the words “I understand” and “good-­bye.” There was a beat of silence and he raised his hand to knock.

And then sobbing.

He froze, recognizing the choked-­up gasping for air that accompanied free flowing tears. He'd held his sister while she wept after their father died. In the aftermath of Josh's accident, he'd stood on the other side of the hospital door waiting for his brother's tears to fade, knowing Josh wouldn't want an audience while he cried.

Brody knew the sounds. But he didn't know if Kat wanted comfort or if crying in front of others embarrassed her.

You don't know enough about me to love me.

In the moment, he'd wanted to tell her that love didn't have strict standards. There wasn't a numbered checklist floating around that demanded he know X, Y, and Z before offering his heart. He knew that her compassion drove him nearly as wild as her Miss Perfect looks. And he was in awe of her drive to succeed.

Standing out here, listening to her cry, he had to admit there were things he didn't know. But he knew she'd stood by him when he was feeling ripped apart by a lost kid on a mountain. She didn't need to know his favorite color before offering comfort.

Taking a chance, he raised his hand and knocked. “Kat, it's Brody. Can I—­”

“Just a minute,” she called, her voice wavering. He heard a deep breath, as if she was struggling to hold back tears.

The door opened. With one hand on the knob, Kat faced him, tears still flowing over her cheeks. But apart from her red eyes, she looked damn near perfect. Wearing the same shirt he'd used to bind her hands that first night in the hotel, a skirt that hugged her curves, and boots, every inch of her screamed “City doctor.”

“Just the person I needed to see.” Kat forced a smile, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Kat,” he said gently, wishing he could wrap his arms around her. But the tension flowing from her, filling the space between them like an imaginary barricade, sent a clear message.
Stand Back!
He had a feeling if he reached for her, she'd break away.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I didn't get her,” she said. “Brianna, the little girl who asked me if I would adopt her.”

“They said no? To you?” Shock filled his voice. “You would be a great parent. And you know better than anyone what she is going through. I thought the goal was to get kids out of foster care.”

“It is. And Brianna is getting a forever home. Just not with me. The family who adopted Brianna's younger sister found out about her and offered to take Brianna too. The state always tries to keep siblings together when they can. And it's the best thing for her.” Her voice wavered over the words. “But I had already started to think about her as mine.”

Kat's grip tightening on the doorknob, she sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “I was going to make the second bedroom hers. Paint the walls her favorite color. I thought we could turn my apartment into a home. Together.”

He reached out and took her hand, his heart breaking for her. “You can still do that. There are a lot of children out there who need a home.”

“I know.” Kat closed her eyes, tipping her head back. “Logically, it makes sense. But I wanted quiet, sullen Briana. I thought . . . I thought we could help each other.”

One more person ripped out of her life. She'd taken a risk, opening herself to the idea of caring for that little girl. And it had been taken away from her.

Part of him wanted to shout,
I want to build a home with you
.
And heck, I want to love you.

“There's more,” she said. “When the social worker called, I was on the other line with Dr. Westbury.”

“Josh is out, isn't he?”

She nodded. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. We had a family meeting this morning. We're all so damn grateful his memory is coming back that it doesn't matter if he's part of the trial. I'll make sure he stays on the meds and follows your instructions—­”

“I'm leaving, Brody.”

Leaving.
That one word cut into him. The thought of her alone and hurting on the other side of the country . . .

His jaw tightened. One more tear and he'd scoop her up, carrying her back to his room.

I want to take care of you. Erase your pain.

“Kat.” But what could he say that would make her stay? He'd told her how he felt about her last night. And the words had pushed her away. She needed proof. He had to show her, dammit.

“I called a cab company in Salem,” she said, stepping back into the room.

“I can drive you,” he said, the words straddling the line between command and straight up begging to spend more time with her.

“The driver is on his way.” Her green eyes locked with his and he saw a flash of wanting so heartbreaking it tore at him. It was as if he was staring into the eyes of the little girl who'd walking into the Falls Hotel and had her hopes crushed.

And now she was leaving again. Alone. He'd never felt so powerless to help someone he cared about.

“Stay. One more day, Kat. Don't leave like this,” he said. “Let me help you.”

“You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine, Brody.” She drew the door closed, disappearing behind the wooden barrier.

Brody rested one hand on the wood. “Yes, I do need to worry about you. I love you, Kat,” he murmured. “And I'm going to do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”

K
AT
STARED
OUT
the window, watching the familiar sights of Independence Falls slip away. The driver stopped at a red light in front of A Slice of Independence, and a pang of regret joined her in the cab's backseat. There were so many new places along Main Street that she hadn't explored yet. She'd walked into town determined to hold the past against this place. She'd opened up to the ­people—­more than she'd planned. But she stopped short of looking around this quaint small town set against breathtaking mountains and acknowledging that Independence Falls had changed.

The light turned green and the cab sped down the two-­lane road, leaving the downtown in the background. It might be beautiful and new in many ways, but she still couldn't escape the feeling that this place hated her. And today it felt as if Independence Falls was determined to prove it, saddling her with one rejection after another.

Well screw you Oregon, she thought. This time I'm not coming back.

Kat closed her eyes, and a mental image of Brody holding the cab door open, leaning down and looking her in the eyes, appeared. His last words—­
I meant what I said last night, Kat. I'm in love with you and I want you in my life
—­echoed in her mind. The regret snuggled in, wrapping around her like an old friend.

Opening her eyes, she stared out at wide-­open spaces sprinkled with farmhouses. After all these years, she should feel at home with loneliness. But knowing that she was moving farther and farther away from Brody, that Brianna wasn't part of her future in New York . . . For the first time since she'd left for college, her vision of her future appeared bleak.

I wonder what Brody's looks like?

Filled with family and work he loved. Her bottom lip trembled. It was like driving away from every home she'd ever lived in growing up. The ­people who stayed still had each other. And she was alone.

Except this time the choice was hers.

What if she'd made the wrong one? What if her one chance at love and family was behind her in a dilapidated farmhouse on the outskirts of Independence Falls?

Impossible. The numbers didn't add up. It took more than a few days to find a love that would last forever. And she'd already had her fill of fleeting feelings.