Wilde, Jennifer (75 page)

The
citizens of Natchez had no inkling of what had really taken place that night.
They knew merely that Roseclay had burned to the ground, that Helmut had died
in the fire, and that I had been rescued by one of his 'business associates'
from New Orleans who, providentially, had arrived on the scene in time to save
me. Derek took charge of everything. He sent for Meg and James Norman, and they
arrived two days later. I was too ill to attend Helmut's funeral, but the next
day I was well enough to sign over all Helmut's estate to my sister-in-law,
keeping not a pound for myself. Both Meg and James were stunned and, at first,
refused to accept, but I finally convinced them that it was something I needed
to do.

Roseclay
was no more, but the rest of Helmut's vast holdings now belonged to the
Normans. James immediately marked 'Paid in Full' on all the notes Helmut had
been holding against those planters who were so deeply in debt to him. He and
Meg were already talking about building a new church, a school, a library. The
city of Natchez was going to profit greatly from my husband's death.

The
Normans came to see me every day. They were beautiful young people blissfully
in love. If Meg felt grief over her brother's death, she didn't show it. She
was radiant, her cheeks a vivid pink, her violet-blue eyes shining with
happiness. Her husband couldn't keep his hands off her. All the time they were
in the room he was either squeezing her hand or holding her by the waist or
around her shoulders. Toward the end of each visit he was always eager to leave
so that the two of them could be alone. Meg clearly found all this ardent
attention sheer rapture. It was difficult to believe she had ever known
anything but joy.

Jack
Reed had come to see me too. Jack and Derek had pieced together the story of
that terrible evening for me as they visited. James Norman had seen the
advertisement that Derek placed in the New Orleans news sheet and had contacted
Derek, telling him where I could be found. Derek had taken the next boat to
Natchez. When he disembarked from the boat, a man, bleeding profusely and
babbling incoherently, had bumped into him and then collapsed on the dock.
Derek was able to find the doctor that had been on the boat with him, and the
two of them carried Jack back onto the boat and tended his wounds. When Jack's
head finally began to clear and he was able to speak coherently, he begged
Derek to take him to Roseclay. That, of course, astonished Derek, who was
planning to come there to find me in any case. When Jack impressed upon Derek
and the doctor the desperate situation that I was in, they found a carriage and
raced to the mansion.

The
house had already begun to burn when they arrived. Derek, who rushed into the
mansion, encountered Helmut just after Helmut had locked me in my room. They
fought, but Derek easily knocked down the drunken man. Derek had carried me
from the burning mansion just in time, and no one was able to go back into the
mansion to bring Helmut out. No one mourned his loss.

Jack's
head was still bandaged, but his grin was as wide as ever. When I asked him
about his injury he just laughed.

"Just
got a little lump is all," he informed me. "It'd take more'n a block
o' lumber to hurt
this
thick skull, I can tell ya flat. Take a piece 'o
lead pipe at least. Only reason I ain't taken the bandage off yet is the girls
think it makes me romantic-lookin'."

"I'll
never be able to thank you for what you did, Jack."

He
looked uncomfortable. "Wusn't nothin'. I recommend you forget the whole
incident. I reckon you'll be leavin' Natchez soon as you get better. This
English lord 'ere, 'e acted 'alf outta 'is mind when I told 'im you were in
trouble, needed 'elp. I reckon you'll be leaving with 'im."

"I
imagine so, Jack."

"I
wish you 'appiness," he said.

"And
I wish you the same."

That
was yesterday. Today, I had finally received permission from the doctor to get
out of bed. Though fully recovered from the shock, I was still a bit bruised. I
was also rather weak, but I felt better after a long hot bath. It was late
afternoon, and as I dressed, I couldn't help but feel a faint nervous
apprehension. Tonight would be my first evening to go downstairs to dine. Derek
was to fetch me in less than an hour. He had looked in on me each day and we
had talked, but we hadn't really discussed the future. I tried not to worry,
but I still found it difficult to believe he was actually here.

I
was wearing the more attractive of the dresses Lizzie and I had altered to fit
me. It was vivid yellow cotton and a far cry from the silks and velvets I had
grown accustomed to, but it was quite fetching just the same. Skirt and
petticoats rustled as I stepped over to the mirror to make a final inspection.
Faint shadows still tinted my lids, and I looked a bit drawn, but the pallor
was gone.

Lizzie
tapped on the door and stepped in to see if I needed anything. When she saw me
in front of the mirror, she sighed heavily and shook her head.

"That
dress never looked like that on
me,"
she complained. "It's not
fair for anyone to look so ravishing, and you just out of the sick bed, too!
Are you sure you feel like goin' down tonight?"

"I
feel wonderful, Lizzie."

"I
suspect that handsome Lord Hawke has a lot to do with it," she remarked.
"I suppose you're eager to spend some real time with him—and who could
blame you? Both the maids are all a-titter over him, and if it wasn't for my
Johnny, I guess I'd be titterin' right along with em.

Lizzie
was as plump as she had been four years ago, her blonde curls as bouncy. She
was even wearing the same dangling jet earrings. The giggling, effusive girl
was gone, however, and had been replaced, after three years of marriage, by a
warm, matronly woman. Seating herself on the edge of the bed, Lizzie watched me
dab cologne behind my ears.

"I
remember you comin' here with that dashing Jeff Rawlins," she said.
"What a card he was—so full of life. Then you came back to Natchez and
married Helmut Schnieder, the richest man in the territory—can't say that I
cared for him myself, but he was certainly intriguing. Now you have that gorgeous
English lord dyin' to take you away with him. Some women have
all
the
luck."

I
smiled,
and Lizzie sighed again.

"When
I first saw you, I so longed to be an adventuress too, I thought it would be
ever so grand and excitin', but I guess it wouldn't of suited me after all.
I've just had one man, my Johnny, and he's more than enough to last me a
lifetime. I guess I've been pretty lucky at that."

"Far
more than you realize, Lizzie."

Lizzie
stood up, brushing aside an errant blonde curl. "I'd better get back to my
work. I've reserved a table for you and his lordship that's as private as I
could make it, but people're still goin' to be able to stare. They're goin' to
expect you to be wearin' black and lookin' all teary-eyed and mournful, though
I don't imagine you care a fig about that."

"Not
a fig," I agreed.

Lizzie
grinned, delighted with my wicked glamor. Then she bustled out of the room, her
blue cotton skirts crackling. It was still half an hour before Derek was due to
come take me down to the dining room. I was weary of my room and knew I'd never
be able to sit still that long, so I decided to walk in the gardens for a
while. As I moved down the hall and the back stairs, I remembered the last time
I had come this way. I had been wearing a red dress, had been intent on running
away from Jeff. I remembered it all vividly as I stepped out the back door and
into the fading sunlight.

It
seemed so long ago, yet in another respect, it seemed only yesterday. I
remembered climbing down the cliff, fleeing through Natchez-under-the-Hill,
encountering Helmut on the docks. I remembered Jeff's weary, amiable expression
as he strolled toward us in his buckskins, and I felt a dreadful sadness. We
had come into these gardens that night, and he had torn my Article of Indenture
into tiny pieces, tossing them to the wind. They had fluttered like tiny white
moths in the darkness. He had given me my freedom, and I had been unable to
give him the love he so desperately wanted.

Pensive
now, filled with sadness, I strolled past the neatly arranged beds of flowers,
moving toward the edge of the cliff. The sky was pale and stained with yellow
on the horizon as the sun began its gradual descent. Below the river was a deep
blue, spangled with shimmering silver reflections, and on the opposite shore
the trees cast long black shadows. I remembered the way Jeff had wrapped his
arms around me as we stood here together. Dear Jeff. How I wished I could have
changed the course of events that followed.

As
I stood there near the edge, the gardens behind me, the wind lifted my skirts
and set the yellow ruffles aflutter. Strands of hair blew across my cheek.
Brushing them aside, I thought about what Lizzie had said only a few minutes
ago. She was indeed lucky. She saw me as a glamorous creature whose life had
been filled with tempestuous excitement and romance, an exotic adventuress who
lived life to the brim. She envied me, and she would find it hard to believe
that I actually envied the happiness she had found so easily, and so early.
True happiness was within reach for me at last, but it had come at such a cost,
after so much grief.

I
heard his footsteps on the path, but didn't turn. I knew instinctively that it
was Derek.

"I
saw you from my window," he said. "I was not sure you should be out
here. The doctor said you needed a long rest, and it's only been a week. I
don't want you to tire yourself—"

"I'm
fine, Derek."

"I've
been very worried about you."

"Have
you?"

"Worried
sick," he admitted. "That's why I've stayed away as much as possible,
seeing you for just a short time each day. I didn't want to tire you. There are
so many things we have to talk about, and I wanted to be sure you'd recovered
completely."

I
turned to face him. In his perfectly tailored black trousers and frock coat,
his white satin waistcoat patterned with maroon silk flowers, and neckcloth of
matching maroon silk, he looked very much the English aristocrat. Lean,
handsome, stern, yet somehow a softer, more loving Derek than I had known
before.

"You
seem sad," he said.

"I
was thinking about the past."

"You
must think about the future now," he said.

"What
kind of future is it going to be, Derek?"

"A
splendid one. For both of us."

His
voice was low, his gray eyes solemn.

"I
love you, Marietta. I love you with all my heart and soul. I always did, even
from the first. It took me a long time to realize it, and still I fought it.
Even after I returned to England and won my case to obtain my inheritance, I
felt little triumph. Without you it meant nothing. I came back for you because
I had to. Life without you is Life without meaning."

"I
never thought I'd hear you say that."

"I
never thought I'd say it. I mean every word."

"Derek—"

He
pulled me into his arms then and kissed me for a long time, conveying with that
kiss an urgent passion that was incredibly tender as well. When he raised his
head I saw the love glowing in eyes that would never again be cool or remote. I
turned to face the river, and he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me back
against him. I felt his strength, his warmth, and the joy that welled up inside
me was so elating that I felt I might die of it. Derek leaned his head down and
brushed his lips against my cheek.

"I'll
never let you go," he murmured. "The past is over, Marietta. The
future is ours—together."

"Together,"
I whispered.

"From
this moment on," he said.

And
so the future began.

*****