Wildflower (23 page)

“Doc Bingham said you weren’t to ride.”

She waved a hand. “For another week. I’ll be right as rain by the time we ready to head to Abilene.”

Logan forced his body to its feet. Matt wouldn’t be driving the beeves anywhere. If he had his way she’d be off to Kansas City before she could sit astride Turk’s back. “We still need to hire more men.”

Finished eating, Sam rode home and Chuck readied supplies for the grub wagon at the herd. Though a hundred things demanded his attention, Logan walked beside Matt across the yard to the main house. This was the one thing that needed doing right now.

He closed the door and rubbed the taunt muscles in his neck. “Listen, sweetheart, I have some things to discuss with you.”

She perched herself on a chair. “I do too.”

“All right, but let me go first.”

He sat across the table from her and she held out her hand for his. He hesitated, but took the offering. It might be the last time he ever got to touch her.

He traced the ridge of calluses on her palm. She had such dainty hands. Hands that knew hard work, but were still dainty. Delicate.

“Logan? What’s wrong?”

He cleared his throat, his eyebrows furrowing at he studied her slender fingers. “Things have gotten real bad around here. The rustlers are getting more dangerous. We were lucky to have only lost just half the herd and Josh. Some folks have had their ranches burned down. Their entire families killed.”

“We’ve dealt with rustlers before.”

“It’s more than that. Beef prices are at an all-time low. I suspect we’ll make enough money to pay the men from the stockyard sale and the outstanding note on the ranch. Maybe even the bill at the livery. Nothing much more than that.”

A bit of color leached from her cheeks. “It is really that bad?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“But what about George and Sam? Are things this bad for them?”

He shook his head. “I can’t speak for their situation. Only for the Standing T.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I reckon we should drive the beeves up to Abilene. Pay the men and clear any Standing T debt.”

She nodded. “Agreed.”

“Then I figure we’ll sell the ranch to Jules Dobson.”

Matt lurched forward. “What? Sell the ranch? Why?”

“Because we won’t be able to make it through next year. Won’t be able to buy any new stock or get more credit.”

“But he said he’d only give us a hundred dollars.”

“That was counting the promissory note. If we pay that off, we should get three hundred.”

“That’s still not anywhere near what the ranch is worth.”

“True, but I don’t see any other choice.”

“Maybe we should hang onto the herd. Wait another year before selling the beeves. The prices should be better then, right?”

“Probably not. Prices have fallen for the past three years. It’s a gamble whether next year will be better. And we still won’t get any credit in the meantime.”

She slumped on her chair, her glassy eyes fixed on him. “I had no idea things were so bad.”

“I didn’t either until your pa passed on. Then I realized how indebted Gene had gotten the ranch just to keep it going. Not that he did a poor job. He didn’t really have a choice. It’s been awful tough these past few years.”

She spread her hands flat on the table, her spine stiff. “All right. We sell. Sell to that rat bastard Dobson.” Fury dripped from her words. “Three hundred dollars isn’t much, but we can take it and start over somewhere else.” Emerald eyes shone at him.

He sucked in a deep breath and ignored the dull thump of his heart in his chest.
One battle down.
“I’m glad you agree we should sell. I think the best thing would be for you to head to Kansas City.” He switched his gaze to the scarred table. “While I drive the beeves north.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ll be going on the drive.”

“No. I’ll make arrangements with Dobson to get the ranch money now. That way, you can go to Kansas City. Now.”

Her forehead furled. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you’ve always wanted to go there and…” He paused to swallow. “Because you’d be safe there.”

“Safe?” The word stretched out like a rattler’s song.

He nodded and this time he reached for her hand. “There are too many dangers here.”

She pulled her hands from his. “It’s no safer for you.”

“That’s different.”

“Why? Because I’m a girl?”

“Partly.”

“What about Elisabeth? And her baby? Is it safe for them?”

“They aren’t my concern. You are.”

She shoved her chair from the table and crossed her arms. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“No, I’m being logical.”

“How will you outfit for the drive if I take all the money?”

“Don’t fret yourself about that. Like I said, I’ll make arrangements.”

“But if I’m in Kansas City and the ranch is sold, what will you do after the drive? Where will you go?”

“I’ll hook up somewhere else.” He quirked a small smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“But what about…us? Our marriage?”

The dull throb in his chest magnified. “Reckon we’ll get that annulment you talked about. Since we’ve never had proper relations as a man and wife, it shouldn’t be difficult to do.”

For the longest time, silence boomed in the room. Finally Matt tossed her hair in that defiant manner of hers and met his gaze. The wetness glinting in her eyes rammed into his chest.

“Fine. Annul the marriage. And I’ll go to Kansas City, but I’m not taking any money.”

His eyebrows snapped together. “Yes you will.”

“No. You held up your end of the bargain by marrying me, so you should have it all. You’ve earned it.”

His frayed patience wore a bit thinner at her cutting tone. “What the hell’s that suppose to mean?”

“It means you never wanted to marry me in the first place. You only married me because the ranch was my dowry. I won’t take the money and leave you with nothing.” She stood and dug into her pocket. “Reckon you’ll be wanting this, too.”

The gold wedding band twinkled in her palm. He rose to his feet. After everything that had happened, the stampede, his wife being hurt, he’d forgotten about the ring. “Where did you get that?”

“Mr. Upton stopped by the other day to deliver it. He said it was a gift for your wife.” She placed it on the table. “Guess you meant it for your next wife.” Her voice hitched on the last word.

She turned toward her bedroom. He came around the table to block her escape. “Where are you going?”

“To pack my gear. If I’m not going on the drive, there’s no reason for me to stay any longer.” She elbowed past him.

He blocked her path, a deadly calm shrouding him. “If you think you’re leaving to go anywhere by yourself, you’re wrong. It’s too dangerous.”

Her small laugh held no humor as she cocked a hip and crossed her arms. “You want me to go to Kansas City, yet you don’t want me to leave. Which is it?”

Pain twitched behind his left eye. “What I want is for you to be safe. I’ll take you to Kansas City myself.”

“Then who’ll ramrod the herd? You’re the owner, but you’re willing to let someone else drive your beeves north?” She shook her head. “I thought you were a good cattleman.”

He narrowed his eyes as the twitch became a stab. “What the blazes are you prattling about?”

“That if you so all-fired concerned about my safety, maybe I shouldn’t leave. Maybe I should just stay here and help with the drive. I’d be with you the whole dang time then, right? And you could make dang sure I stayed safe.”

He rubbed his throbbing forehead. “You’re not making sense. What about you going to Kansas City?”

“That’s not important.”

Disbelief rippled through him. “Not important? It’s all you’ve ever talked about as long as I’ve known you. How is it not important now?”

“Because other things are more important.”

Logan went still inside, not daring to breathe. To hope. “Just what is it that you’re saying, sweetheart?”

She rolled a shoulder. “That it’s silly to send me packing with money you’re going to need for the drive. I’ll stay until after Abilene. Then…”

“Then…what?”

Her shoulder hitched up again as she glanced away. But not before he witnessed the naked vulnerability in her gaze. His knees buckled and his hands itched to pull her close. “Why would you give up the opportunity to leave Indian Territory?”

Her swanlike neck labored to swallow. She looked back at him. “I don’t think I ever truly wanted to go. I just wanted to belong. Somewhere. I never felt wanted by my pa because I didn’t believe he loved me. It hurt so
bad
for so long that I thought if I left, I’d never hurt again.”

“And now?”

A ghost of a smile touched her lips. “Now I know Papa loved me in his own way. I don’t feel the driving need to leave any more. I know I belong. Right here.”

Logan slipped his hands into the rear pockets of his Levi’s. He was both confused and bowled-over by her admission. She may not want to stay to be with him, but if she was willing to stay at all, he wasn’t going to argue. “So what do we do now? Go back to the way things were before? To our previous agreement where you get a share of the stock yard sale in Abilene?” It took three tries for him to swallow. “And get an annulment after that?”

She slowly shook her head. “I don’t want things to be like they were before. And I don’t want an annulment.”

His breath hooked in his chest. “You don’t?”

“No.” She stepped toward him. Her heated scent filled his senses and his body tightened in response. “Do you remember what you told me right before the stampede? That the next time you touched me, it would only be to bed me?”

His blood immediately simmered in his veins. “Yep.” The single word chafed his throat.

“You also said you’d only do that if I asked.” She rested her hands on his chest. The warmth from her palms scorched a path down to his groin. “Well I’m asking, Logan. I’m asking you to take me to bed. Like a man would his wife.”

He pulled his hands from his pockets and fisted them at his sides. He was pulled tighter than a hair trigger. “I won’t let you go then. You won’t get your annulment. You’ll stay right here. With me.”

Her smile didn’t faltered. “I know.”

“Be sure about this.” His voice was hard. “Be very sure.”

“I am.”

Emotions so strong and powerful strangled him at her simple statement. While she wasn’t claiming any love for him, she did want to stay. He turned his head at a strange stinging in his eyes. Wouldn’t that just beat all if he broke down and cried?

The ring on the table caught his eye. He picked it up then went down on one knee in front of his wife. Her gasp rang loud. He took her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger.

“Will you be my wife, Matilda Cartwright?” He held her hand to his chest. “For better and Lord knows for worse?”