Authors: N.J. Walters
Damn, he was fucked up. Why had he so readily accepted
Jason’s lies? Had it been his own fears playing on him? Yeah, it hurt like a
son of a bitch to admit he’d allowed himself to be played.
Some might call him a fool, but he believed Eliza. There was
too much pain, too much sincerity in her voice for it to be anything but true.
But she no longer trusted him. And that hurt most of all.
“Why won’t you give me your phone number?” He took a deep
breath and reined in his anger. “I understand if you don’t want me to know
where you live, but I need to be able to get in contact with you.” And not just
because of the job she wanted. Rabb wanted to spend time with Eliza, to figure
out what his feelings were toward her.
The one thing he didn’t want was to lose touch with her
again.
She nibbled on her lower lip and Rabb barely swallowed back
his groan. She had full, kissable lips. He’d tasted those lips and knew just
how lush and sweet they were. He’d had his hands all over her body too, but
they’d never taken it all the way. He’d been waiting for the right time, not
wanting to rush her.
“I don’t have a phone.” She said it grudgingly, as if she
were offering up a great secret.
“You don’t have a phone?” he repeated. Who didn’t have a
phone in this day and age?
“Like I said, I can check back with you every day.”
Rabb tossed the pad and pen back onto the desktop. “Not good
enough. What’s your address?” No way was he letting her leave before he had
some way of reaching her.
Eliza lowered her gaze and picked at a loose thread on the
knee of her jeans. Rabb noted the slight quiver in her hand. She really didn’t
look well. Her skin was pale and her face thin. He remembered her with glowing
cheeks and plenty of curves. He couldn’t see her shape beneath the bulky
sweater and jacket, but he knew she was a lot thinner than she had been.
“Eliza?”
“I should go.” She skirted around him and made her way to
the door. “I’ll check back in a day or so to see if you have an opening. You
know I can wait tables or work in the kitchen. Whatever you need.”
Rabb was right behind her. He put his hand on the door to
keep her from opening it. His front pressed against her back. “Eliza?” It was
obvious to him she’d fallen on hard times and doing her best to hide it from
him. Her thinner frame and threadbare clothes were a far cry from the tidy
woman he’d known. She hadn’t worn expensive clothing, unless she’d scored it
from a thrift or consignment shop, but it had always been in good repair.
She shook her head and didn’t look at him.
“Let me walk you home.” He knew he shouldn’t press her, but
he couldn’t help himself. “Please.”
She leaned her forehead against the door and sighed.
“There’s nowhere to walk me to, Rabb.”
He stilled and digested her words, immediately wanting to
deny them. She couldn’t be saying what he thought she meant. But he was sorely
afraid she was. “You’re homeless.”
She nodded, still facing away from him.
Rabb wanted to roar with anger, to hit someone or something.
Instead, he wrapped his arms around Eliza’s shoulders and simply held her. She
didn’t make a sound, but something wet splashed on his hand and he knew she was
crying.
He turned her gently so she was facing him. She looked down
and shuffled her feet, and he knew she felt ashamed.
“How long?” he asked. He had to know.
Eliza shrugged. “Not long. Six weeks.”
Six weeks. That was a lifetime on the streets. And life
before that couldn’t have been any easier. A person didn’t usually end up on
the street all at once. It was generally a slow decline as they clawed for
purchase in a disintegrating world.
She felt slight in his arms, fragile. And he realized that
the beat-up backpack she clutched in her arms held everything she owned in the
world.
“When was the last time you ate?”
Her head snapped up and her expression was filled with
defiance. “This evening.”
He’d bet every last dollar he had that she’d eaten at a soup
kitchen. And while they certainly did their best, there was often not much to
go around.
Frustration filled him and he did the only thing he could.
He pulled her close, leaned down and kissed her.
Eliza was certain she must have fallen asleep in an alleyway
and been dreaming. And if that were the case, she didn’t want to wake anytime
soon. Rabb was kissing her. No, not just kissing her, but devouring her.
He pushed his tongue into her mouth, stroking and coaxing a
reaction. She moaned and leaned more heavily against him. He was so warm and
she’d been cold for so long. He caught her chin in his hand and tilted her
head, deepening their connection. He tasted like strong black coffee and hot
male.
The muscles in her legs quivered and her chest tightened.
Rabb was really kissing her, but he also knew the worst. She was homeless. She
had nowhere to go.
Eliza pulled away, knowing she shouldn’t have allowed him to
kiss her. Leaving here and leaving him would make going back to the streets
even harder. “That. That shouldn’t have happened.” She was short of breath and
slightly lightheaded. She wasn’t sure if it was lack of food or the potency of
Rabb’s kiss causing it. At this point, it was a toss-up.
“Yes, it should have.” He brushed his hand over her hair.
“You cut it.”
“Yeah.” She’d rubbed her hair, feeling self-conscious. She’d
always loved her hair, but she’d hacked it off to try to disguise herself. “I
had black hair for a while.”
“Now
that
is a crime.” Rabb shook his head. “Your
hair is beautiful.”
Her cheeks felt warm and she knew she was blushing. “Thanks.”
Unfortunately her hair would have to stay short until she was able to afford a
place of her own. Keeping clean on the streets wasn’t an easy job. “I should
go.”
“No.” Rabb grabbed her shoulders and lightly shook her.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“You’re giving me a job?” Excitement bubbled inside her.
“Damn it, Eliza, I’m not giving you a job.” She tightened
her grip on her backpack, and her stomach plummeted. Despair almost sent her to
her knees.
“Not yet, anyway.” Rabb eased her aside and opened the
office door. Once again, music and voices assailed them.
She was totally confused. “I don’t understand.”
The look he shot her was so hot and fierce it could have
peeled paint from the walls. There was a wildness in Rabb, a well of hot
emotion that seethed and bubbled beneath the staid exterior he projected to the
world. She’d always suspected it was there. It had come out when he’d kissed
her. And now it smoldered in his eyes.
“Come on.” He ushered her to the far end of the corridor. A
huge steel door blocked their way. Rabb reached into his pocket, yanked out a
set of keys and undid the various locks. He opened the door and all but shoved
her into the foyer beyond before pulling the steel panel shut. Silence
surrounded them.
“Where are we going?” Eliza knew she should be more
concerned. But this was Rabb and she really didn’t want to leave him. Plus, the
longer she was inside, the less time she had to be out in the cold.
“Upstairs.” He ushered her toward the staircase and she put
one foot in front of the other and went up.
“How far?” He was right behind her, his hand on the small of
her back. Even through her coat, sweater, T-shirt and undershirt, she could
feel the heat from his touch. Her lips still tingled from his kiss. She reached
up and pressed her fingers against them.
“Third floor.” He pointed at a door on the first landing.
“My folks’ shops are through there.”
“Your mother makes hats, doesn’t she?” Eliza remembered him
telling her that. She remembered commenting that with a last name like Hatter it
was the perfect profession. He’d laughed and told her that he and his brother
teased her, calling her the mad hatter. It had made her sad, wishing for that
kind of connection she’d never had with her own mother.
“Yes. And my father is a tailor.” They were at the second
landing now. “Their apartment takes up this entire floor.”
Imagine living and working so near your family. They were
close. She’d always known that, but she hadn’t realized just how close.
They reached the third landing and there were two doors
here, one red and the other blue. Rabb led her to the red door and unlocked it.
“Welcome to my home.”
She hesitated. “I should go.” She had no place here with
Rabb. She should never have come. “I’m sorry. This was a mistake.” The last
thing she wanted to do was bring Jason and his problems to Rabb and his family.
They didn’t deserve that.
Rabb stopped her by lifting her right off her feet and
carrying her into his apartment. He kicked the door shut. “You’re not going
anywhere.”
Rabb knew he was acting like a Neanderthal, but he couldn’t
seem to help himself. Eliza brought out that more primitive, wild side of him.
No way he was letting her walk out the door, especially when he had no way of
finding her if she did.
He set Eliza back on her feet just inside his apartment. “I
need to make a quick call.” He yanked his phone out of his pocket and dialed
his brother, who picked up on the third ring.
“Yeah.” The noise level in the bar made it hard for him to
hear Nevar.
“I won’t be back.” He hated leaving his brother in the
lurch, but this was important.
“I had a feeling that might happen.” Glasses clinked in the
background. “Allison is helping me behind the bar.”
“Really?” It was hard to picture Allison bustling behind the
bar—not because she wasn’t a hard worker, because she was, but he didn’t think
she had any experience bartending.
“She’s good at following orders.” Rabb heard Allison
promising retribution for that remark and Nevar laughed. Rabb glanced at Eliza,
who was standing exactly where he’d left her, staring avidly around his home.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he promised, knowing his
brother would have questions.
“If you need anything, let me know.” Rabb’s throat
tightened. Family. He could always depend on them. “Yeah. Thanks.” He ended the
call and tossed his phone onto the nearby kitchen counter.
Now that he had her here, he wasn’t quite sure where to
begin. She was swaying slightly and she held her knapsack by the straps now, as
if it were too heavy for her to lift.
He slowly reached out and hooked his fingers around the
strap of her bag. “Let me take that for you.”
She yanked it back. “No.” Then, as if realizing what she’d
done, she added. “That’s okay. But thank you.”
Rabb couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to have all
your worldly possessions in one small bag. He’d grown up in a stable, happy
home and knew his parents and brother would always be there for him.
Eliza was alone.
“How about you just set it down here right in front of the
door.”
She nodded and carefully put the knapsack on the floor. It
took her quite a bit longer to actually release the straps. Rabb stood there,
patiently waiting until she was ready, not pressing her any harder than he
already had.
Eliza was at the breaking point. He had no idea what she’d
been through during the more than a year since he’d seen her, but what little
he did know broke his heart. And he had a feeling she was hiding the worst of
it, only giving him the bare bones of the situation.
A surge of relief went through him when she finally released
her grip on the straps and stepped away from the backpack. “How about a hot
bath and something to eat?”
Her chin went up and she scowled at him. “I’m not a charity
case.”
He reached out and touched her soft, pale cheek with his
fingers. “I know you’re not, honey. But indulge me. Please. We can talk more
about your job once I’ve taken care of you.”
Because that was exactly what he wanted to do. Take care of
her. She was fiercely independent and prickly as hell. He admired that about
her. But what she didn’t seem to realize was that everyone needed help at some
point in their lives.
“What do you say?” he cajoled. “You can have a nice hot soak
while I whip up an omelet for you.”
Her stomach growled at the mention of food. Her face turned
red and he knew she was hungry even if she wouldn’t admit it. She was also
wavering.
“I’ll feel better if I know you’re comfortable.” He was
laying it on thick, but it was nothing less than the truth.
“Why?” She tilted her head to one side and studied him. “Why
are you doing this?”
“Because I care about you. Because we were friends once.”
More than friends, but he was doing his damnedest to stay cool. One wrong word
and she might bolt.
“Friends.” She said the word as if he were speaking some
foreign language.
“Yeah, friends.” He put his arm around her shoulders and led
her down the hallway. “I have this awesome bathroom with a big tub. Great for
soaking in.” He flipped on the light switch and was gratified when he heard her
gasp of pleasure.
“I know, right?” He propelled her into the room. “I realize
it’s a bit much, but I wanted a full tub and a large shower enclosure as well.”
“This is incredible.” She stroked her hand over the
earth-toned tiles that lined the wall beside the tub and Rabb’s entire body
tightened. He wanted her hand touching, caressing his chest. His dick flexed
and grew, as if to remind Rabb it was there. As if he could ever forget. And
yeah, he wanted her hand wrapped around his cock.
But for now, he’d settle for having her in his tub.
He went to work and quickly had the hot water flowing and a
clean towel and facecloth set out. “Help yourself. I’m going to start on that
omelet.”
He had to get out of here before he did something really
stupid like undress her and join her in the tub. The thing was big enough to
easily hold them both. The image of her soapy, wet body sliding over his wasn’t
helping his erection one damn bit.
“Rabb.”
He stopped and glanced over his shoulder. She looked so
small and lost standing there by herself. “What, honey?”
“Thank you.”
His chest tightened and his eyes stung. “No problem.” He
could barely get the words past his lips. His voice was rougher than usual.
“I’ll be back,” he promised.
Rabb closed the door behind him and leaned against the
wooden panel. It hurt him to image Eliza all on her own, living day-to-day in
the city, trying to survive. He rubbed his chest, but the ache remained. No
more. She’d spent her last day on the street. She was staying with him.
That settled, at least in his own mind, Rabb hurried to the
kitchen and started pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator. He eyed a hunk
of cheddar cheese. He had some crackers too. She could snack while she soaked
in the tub.
Eliza stared at the closed door and then back at the rapidly
filling tub. She swallowed hard, knowing if she started crying she might never
stop. Kindness had been in short supply in her life as of late.
The water beckoned. Steam rose, making the air moist. It had
been months since she’d had more than a hurried shower in a shelter. Mostly she
made do with a sink of warm water and rough paper towels.
She eased her jacket from her shoulders and laid it on the
floor. By the time she pulled off her sweater, T-shirt, undershirt and bra, she
was exhausted. She turned off the water and sat on the edge of the tub,
trailing her fingers through it. The heat sank into her bones.
Bending down to unlace her sneakers made her lightheaded and
she had to rest a moment. Then she stood and undid her jeans, skimming them
down her legs. Underwear and socks were next.
When she was naked, she stepped into the tub. She made sure
not to look at herself in the mirror. Call her a coward, but she really didn’t
want to see herself right now.
She sank down and almost cried at how good it felt. The
water flowed around her, embracing her like a blanket of warmth. She eased
lower until her entire body and head was immersed. It was quiet here and all
her problems were gone, at least for this moment.
She’d gotten good at simply enjoying moments of pleasure and
happiness where she found them.
When she couldn’t hold her breath any longer, she sat up and
slicked her hair back. A bar of soap sat on a ledge and she reached for it. She
held it to her nose and inhaled the woodsy scent. It smelled like Rabb.
Her body tingled, heating in places it hadn’t for a long,
long time. Bemused, she worked up a lather between her hands and began to scrub
her hair. She wished it was shampoo, but beggars weren’t choosers. Her arms
began to shake before long and she sank back into the water, working the suds
from her hair. When she sat up, she slicked her hair back once again.
The facecloth was on the floor beside the tub and she
reached down and snagged it. The material was soft and thick. She wet and
soaped it and then began the task of washing herself.
She was so tired and her energy levels were much lower than
she’d thought they were. The stress of coming here had probably drained her
reserves. She checked out the scars on her stomach. They were thin pinkish
lines now, much different from the puckered red ones they’d been when she was
first released from hospital.
She ran her hand over one and then another. There were three
in total. One of them was worse than the others, and the skin was rough rather
than smooth. Her hand automatically went to the one that ran down the edge of
her hairline on the right.
Blood. There’d been so much blood that day. Her stomach
roiled at the memory and she shoved it aside. “You’re safe and warm right now
and that’s all that matters.” She breathed slow and deep until she’d calmed
back down.
She was just about to lie back when the door opened and Rabb
walked in.
Water sloshed perilously close to the edge of the tub as she
pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them to cover
herself. “What are you doing? Get out.”
“Thought you might like a snack to hold you over until I got
your omelet ready.” He set a plate filled with crackers and cheese on the edge
of the tub. Beside it, he placed a glass of orange juice. “Figured you’d rather
juice than wine.”