Will & Patrick Fight Their Feelings (#4) (4 page)

Eager to get this surgery started so he can get home to his achingly sexy, mostly fake husband, Patrick claps Don on the shoulder, says, “Make way. Super Surgeon to the rescue,” and jogs ahead to the hospital.

Will waits for the only stop light in town to change to green. Caitlin’s strapped in next to him and Olivia’s reading a book in the backseat. The kids are headed out to the farm to stay with Grandma Betty and Kevin for the night. Connor is already there, dropped off by the school bus earlier in the day.

“I hate her,” Caitlin says.

“No, you don’t. You just want to hate her.”

“And why shouldn’t I?” Caitlin shoves her blond hair away from her full cheek. “She’s with Jason all the time now. We’ve been out on the farm for the last week. Uncle Kevin and Grandma Betty are making excuses for her, but it’s just the same old thing all over again. She always chooses them over us.”

“She’s…” Will doesn’t know how to explain what their mother is, but he feels like he has to try. He’s the big brother. “She’s…”

“She’s addicted to it,” Caitlin says, like she’s read his mind. “Is it sex, Will? Is sex really so amazing a woman will mess her life up for it every chance she gets?”

“Caitlin,” he warns, flinging a glance at Olivia in the backseat.

“I know about sex,” Olivia pipes up, not looking up from her book. “We learned about it in health class.”

Will’s head is full of Do-Not-Want, but he forges on. “Well, then you know that sex is something special between two people who—”

“Can it,” Caitlin says. “You can take that little speech back to 1950 and give it to someone who might believe you.”

“Well, that’s what sex
should
be.” Sweat breaks out on his brow. “It’s better when you care about the person.”

There are so many components to what makes good sex, things he’s just now discovering for himself, but that’s not what he wants to say. He wants to give them good advice. The advice he wishes someone had given him. He just has no idea what that is.

Olivia sighs. “Patrick says if you have sex with a lot of people and don’t use a condom, you can catch a virus called HIV, which can turn into AIDS. Uncle Kevin’s Roy died from AIDS.”

“Roy died from AIDS-related illnesses,” Caitlin corrects.

“You’ve talked to Patrick about sex?” Will’s brain is whirring.

“No, of course not! That’d be weird.” Olivia wrinkles her nose in disgust. “I’ve talked to him about AIDS.”

Because that’s not weird.
“When? Why?”

“At Thanksgiving. Because I asked.” Olivia tosses the book into her backpack and stretches. “He’s good at explaining things. You should ask him about sex, Caitlin. He’d probably tell you a lot more than Will.”

“No! Don’t ask Patrick about sex.”

“He’s a doctor,” Olivia goes on. “He knows how bodies work.”

God, does he ever know how bodies work.

Will clears his throat. “Patrick isn’t family.”

“He’s your husband. He’s family.” Olivia crosses her arms over her chest.

Caitlin shoots him a smirk.

Will flounders. “Patrick has different ideas than our family does about sex.”

“Like what?” Olivia demands

Like that you can just have it and it’s okay. Like sex is fun and doesn’t require commitment or love. That’s all fine for him and Patrick, great even. But it’s not okay for his little sisters. He doesn’t want to think about why. He doesn’t want to think about his sisters and sex at all, actually. It shouldn’t be his responsibility.

“Forget about sex.”

Caitlin snorts. “Wuss.”

Will tries to ignore her. “Let’s go back to Mom. She’s allowed to make her own choices. She’s a grownup.”

“Grownups put responsibility first. She puts sex first.”

He scowls. “Drop the sex, Caitlin. It’s not about that. She loves…well, she loves being in love.”

“So, basically she’s a slut,” Caitlin says.

“Caitlin!” This isn’t his
job
. Dammit, he could use a drink. Just to take the edge off. He could swing by—

No
.

He glares. “First off, that word is not okay. Do you understand?”

“You’re not our father.”

Will takes a deep breath. “No, I’m not.”

Olivia rolls down her window and hawks a loogie out. Will winces but says nothing, letting Caitlin handle it with her cry of, “Gross! That’s disgusting!”

Olivia rolls the window back up, unfazed. “Uncle Kevin says Mom falls in love easily. He says that’s not a bad thing or a good thing. It’s just the way it is.”

“She falls out of love just as fast.” Caitlin adjusts the heating vent on her side of the car.

“Except for Tony,” Olivia murmurs. “Mom always loves Tony.”

Will feels them both looking at him like that means something, and the hair on the nape of his neck stands up. What his parents feel for each other isn’t love. It’s obsession and it’s sick.

“Love, real love, isn’t like that at all,” he says quietly.

“You sure fell in love with Patrick fast,” Caitlin says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Why don’t you tell us what ‘real love’ is really like?”

He flips on his blinker and makes the turn toward the farm. If Caitlin wants to challenge him, fine. He’ll step up and meet her head on. “Love makes you a better person. A stronger person.”

“Well, then Mom’s never loved any of the men she’s been with.” Caitlin’s anger vibrates through her voice. “Because when she’s ‘in love,’ she’s a lousy person.”

Will’s stomach hurts. A drink would taste so good. “She’s a human being. She’s flawed.”

“She’s my mom and I want her to stop sucking. Don’t try to stick up for her. She did this to you too. You know what it’s like.”

Will swallows down his impulse to defend their mother. It pools in his gut along with the rage simmering there. They drive the rest of the distance in silence and relief pours through his veins when he parks next to the farmhouse and Uncle Kevin comes out from the barn to greet the girls.

Will waves to Grandma Betty and Connor when they open the side door to usher the girls into the kitchen for afterschool sugar cookies and then turns to shake his uncle’s hand as he approaches.

“How’s it going?” Uncle Kevin asks once the girls are safely inside. “Any luck on the divorce front?”

“Not so far.”

“Hope that comes through for you soon. Must be awfully awkward living with a stranger like that.”

Will scratches at his ear and looks away. “It’s not that bad. Patrick’s a good guy.” He brings his gaze back to Kevin. “Hey, can we talk?”

“Sure.” Kevin claps his hand on Will’s shoulder. “I’m always here for you.”

“It’s not about me, actually. It’s about the girls.”

“Ah.”

“They’re pretty mad at Mom about this new thing she has going with Jason. Especially Caitlin.”

Kevin sighs. “I know.” He squints into the winter sun and shakes his head. “I don’t know what to do about it. Jason’s a nice fellow. A little young for her, but he’s smitten and she’s…” He shakes his head. “She’s happy.”

“It won’t last.”

“No.”

Will struggles with the impotent anger brewing in his gut. These are the feelings he drank to extinguish in high school. “It’s reckless.”

“Reckless is something you know a thing or two about yourself.” Kevin’s unspoken ‘judge not lest ye be judged’ hangs in the air.

Will sighs. “That’s not what we’re talking about, Uncle Kevin.”

“No. You’re right. We’re talking about your sisters. And I admit I’m worried about them, too. Especially Caity. She’s got a chip on her shoulder something awful about this and I have a bad feeling about it. Especially now that she’s got a boyfriend.”

“Is she still seeing Scott Tate?”

Kevin’s nose wrinkles. “Yep. I can’t say I like it much. He’s too old for her. Why can’t anyone in this family date someone their own age?” His lips quirk. “Though Ryan was the right amount older than you. Just enough to have his head screwed on straight and keep you in line.”

Will shakes his head, the simmering rage boiling up. Was Uncle Kevin truly that clueless? “Let’s not talk about Ryan,” he grits out.

“Fair enough.” Uncle Kevin rakes a hand through his hair. “Scott’s a good kid. I just hope he can be trusted. With all that’s going on right now, I’m afraid your sister might act out.”

Will knows what this means. Those are the words his uncle used when he found out about Will sucking off Jack Linton back in high school. He means sex.

“Your mom hasn’t been the best role model when it comes to relationships. She married your father awfully young.”

“You think Caitlin might run off and marry Scott?”

“Heck, no. She’s not that wild about him. I’m more worried Caity’ll decide to see what all the fuss is about. And that Tate boy isn’t going to say no, I can tell you that much right now.” He clucks his tongue.

Will doesn’t want to think about his sister and Scott Tate discovering physical pleasure together, but if Caitlin’s curious—and that’s what she was getting at in the car—then he probably blew it entirely.

“Has mom talked to her? About safe sex? About waiting for the right guy?”

“Your mom’s been busy screwing her new boy toy on every flat surface she can find. I doubt she’s even noticed Caitlin’s of an age where we should worry about her intentions as much as the boy’s.” Kevin sighs, rolls his eyes, and puts his gloved hands on his hips, lifting his head up to the sky. “Will, I hate to say it, but your dad sure did a number on Kimberly.”

“What’s Tony got to do with this?”

“He swept her off her feet when she was just a kid, and she’s been looking for that same high ever since she left him.” Kevin ponders Will a moment. “Of course, Tony always has a good reason to come back around, doesn’t he?”

Will loves his family, he really does, but sometimes he feels like they all blame him for everything wrong with it. If his mom hadn’t had him, Tony could have been a youthful fling, nothing more. Now, because of Will, Tony and the mafia are fixtures in their lives.

Will shoves his hands in his coat pockets and studies at the ground. “Can’t change the past.”

“No one knows that more than me.”

Will looks his uncle in the eye, noticing the way the blue irises reflect the sky. “Back to the kids, though. I need your help. Can you talk to Mom? Convince her to take this new relationship down a notch? For their sake?”

“You know your mom. She’ll just tell me to mind my own business and she’ll get right back to being ‘in love.’” He says this like he might agree with Patrick that love is nothing but an illusion spawned by chemicals and electrical impulses in the brain.

Frustration boils in Will’s gut. “It’s like she’s gone from zero to ninety with Jason. It’s out of hand.”

“I don’t know anyone else who does that sort of thing,” he says, looking at Will with a raised brow. “No one at all.”

“I was drunk.”

“So’s she. Just not on liquor.”

“Uncle Kevin—”

“I hear what you’re saying, and maybe I’ll have a talk with her. But she doesn’t listen to me. Not when she’s in deep like this.”

“Don’t you ever get sick of her messing up her life?”

“Sure.” Kevin slings his arm around Will’s shoulder and shakes him. “I get tired of seeing everyone in this family messing up their lives, but people don’t listen to me.” He looks into Will’s eyes meaningfully. “You don’t. Why would she?”

Will swallows, his neck prickling hot. “Meaning?” And maybe he’d listen more if Kevin didn’t think the sun shone out of Ryan’s ass even after Ryan assaulted Patrick.

“Meaning you’ve got a love bite sticking out the edge of your collar there, and you’ve got the gait of a man who’s been, shall we say,
enjoying life
.”

“I…” Will’s heart pounds and his palms go sweaty. Anger braided with guilt snakes up his throat.

“You’re having sex with Dr. McCloud.”

It’s like he’s in high school again, terrified he might get caught with Jack Linton’s cock down his throat and have some explaining to do.

“Don’t tell Mom.”

Kevin laughs. “If you need any proof that you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing with that man, you’ve got it right there. If you can’t tell your mother you’re sleeping with him, then you know it’s not right.”

Will shrugs out from under Kevin’s oppressive arm. “I’m an adult and I can do what I want. With whom I want.”

“So can your mom.”

“I’m
not
Mom.”

Kevin inclines his head. “All right. If you say so.”

“I’m not Roy either.”

Kevin’s face goes pale.

Regret sinks through him, and Will reaches out to Kevin but falls short of touching him.

Kevin clears his throat. “Roy was a good man and I loved him no matter what mistakes he made. And I’ll love you too, no matter how many mistakes you decide to rack up. Just like I love your mother.”

Will’s throat aches as he watches Uncle Kevin return to the barn with his shoulders back, and his blond hair shining in the winter sun.