William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back (9 page)

—Grrm.

[Exit Chewbacca.

[
aside:
] We are alone. Yet ev’ry time I have

Approach’d her recently I’ve been rebuff’d.

This should not be a nut I cannot crack—

I am not ignorant in women’s ways.

Although, by troth, most often when I speak

Of “she” or “her,” I indicate my ship.

And yet, I am a man of many strengths:

I pilot ships with talent, skill, and grace,

In battles or in races hard to best,

My swift maneuvers legendary are

And through the galaxy my ship is known.

But with this princess, all my skill is naught.

My tongue is tied, and I resort to barbs

And witticisms sloppily convey’d.

How shall I show this princess my true heart?

How set aside my ego and be kind?

Here, in this moment, I shall undertake

To set my pathway not toward my pride,

But through the smoother course that runs to love.

[He approaches to help her and is shoved away.

[
To Leia:
] Pray patience, Worship, I but try to help!

Couldst thou forswear thy pompous attitude

And promise thou shalt ne’er call me that name?

Aye, Leia.

[
aside:
]          —Prithee, give me patience now!

To make him thine, respond thou not with fire.

[
To Han:
] You do not make it simple.

        —Yes, ’tis true.

But ’tis not I alone who is to blame,

For thou couldst softer and more gentle be.

O Princess, may we end these pointless games?

May we two souls of flame extinguish’d be

Just long enough to drink of love’s rewards?

I ask thee, truly, dost thou sometimes think

That certain virtues may be found in me?

Canst thou imagine ever looking deep

Into my soul to see the man within?

[Leia stops working and rubs her sore hands.

Occasionally, mayhap, when you are

Not acting in the manner of a scoundrel.

[Han Solo takes Leia’s hands in his.

A scoundrel? “Scoundrel” is the word you choose?

I like that word, when spoken from your lips.

Pray cease that touch, it doth my heart confuse.

But wherefore cease? What reason shall eclipse

The greater reason of my heart’s intent?

But lo, my hands are dirtied by my work.

My hands are likewise dirty. Pray, assent

Unto this moment. What fear makes you shirk?

What fear? I tell thee, I am not afraid.

Did I imagine that your hands did shake?

Thou likest that I am of scoundrel made.

For thy life could more scoundrel gladly take.

If thou wouldst cast my suit off, think again—

I would that thou within me deeper look.

I tell thee true, that I do like nice men.

I too am nice.

[They kiss.

[
aside:
]          —He kisses by the book.

Sir, Sir, I’ve isolated the reverse

Flux power coupling. Have I done thee proud?

[Exit Princess Leia.

O thank you, 3PO, thank you so much.

But speak none of it, Sir—I have a touch.

[Exeunt.

The swift
Millenn’um Falcon
made its way

Unto the field of asteroids and that,

My great Lord Vader, was the last that they

Within our scopes did e’er appear. They must

Have been destroy’d, if one considers all

The damage we have tolerated here.

Your answer’s insufficient, Captain, for

I know they are alive. Thy scanners are

Poor proxies for the Force. Now listen well

To my command: I tell thee ev’ry ship

That hath some power left to give shall search

The ast’roid field until they have been found.

I shall with haste fulfill thy shrewd decree.

[Exit Captain Needa from beam.

My Lord?

—Yes, Admiral?

—The Emperor

Commands that thou do contact him at once.

Then, move the ship out of the ast’roid field

That I may with my master clearly speak.

We will, my Lord.

[Exit Admiral Piett.

—Now shall I speak with my

Dread Emperor. The man who gave me life

When all was lost. The man to whom I owe

All that I am, and e’er shall be. The man,

Indeed, who like a father is to me.

His plans for pow’r and schemes most excellent

I do obey and carry out with pride.

Though people fear my aspect bleak and dark,

They should, more surely, fear what I will do

When answering his perfect, flawless will.

For sooner would I sacrifice my life

Than disobey the word of this great man.

What is thy bidding, master pure and true?

There is a great disturbance in the Force.

I too have felt it.

—A new enemy

Arises, e’en the rebel who destroy’d

The Death Star—and I have no doubt this boy

Is kin to Anakin Skywalker.

[
aside:
]          —O,

Profoundest revelation! I knew he

Was powerful and bore Skywalker’s name,

Yet that the boy is kin to Anakin

I did not see. [
To the Emperor:
] How is this possible?

You only must within your feelings search,

Lord Vader. Then shalt thou too know ’tis true.

He could destroy us.

—He is but a boy,

And Obi-Wan no longer is his help.

The Force is strong with him, and mark me well:

The son of Skywalker must ne’er become

A Jedi. Dost thou comprehend my words?

[
aside:
] I do his meaning understand, and yet

Another future for this boy I’ll write.

Not death, but something even greater still.

It may be that this young Skywalker will

Still prove to be most worthy of the name.

[
To the Emperor:
] If he could but be turn’d, an ally strong

He could become.

—Indeed, thou speakest true.

The boy may prove himself an asset sure.

Can it be done? What is thy true reply?

The boy shall surely join us, or shall die.

[Exeunt.

This creature I have follow’d to his home,

But still no further answers are reveal’d.

It seemeth that he stalls in bringing me

Unto the one I truly hope to see.

With all that hath befallen in this place

My patience runneth thin. I’ll press the point.

Thy generosity is truly rare,

I’ll warrant that thy food delicious is.

Yet neither rhyme nor reason have I heard

Of wherefore we may not go, even now,

To see good Master Yoda where he lives.

Pray, patience, young one.

For Jedi too must eat—thus

My good food, eat now.

How many leagues away is Yoda? Shall

The journey to him long and per’lous be?

Not far is Yoda.

Aye, soon thou shalt be with him.

First, eat of rootleaf.

Feast for a Jedi—

Food that enlivens the mind

Should thy repast be.

And now, a question:

What drives the young man’s heart to

Learn the Jedi way?

This is an inquiry perceptive, friend,

For I am driv’n by force unto the Force:

My noble father doth inform my steps.

Thy father, indeed.

Powerful Jedi was he.

Powerful Jedi.

Avaunt, thou silly creature, how canst thou

My father know? For surely thou dost not

E’en know who I am. Fie! I know not what

Or who or why or when or where or how

Hath brought about this meeting! Time is short;

Each minute pass’d with thee hath gone to waste!

[
speaking to the air:
] I cannot teach him.

The boy hath none of patience.

How shall he be taught?

He patience lacks, but patience can be learn’d.

Much anger in him.

Sudden and quick in quarrel:

Too like his father.

Was I then diff’rent when thou didst teach me?

He is not ready.

’Tis now the thing that I see:

This one’s unprepar’d.

’Tis Yoda! Nay, but Ben, pray argue for

My cause, for verily prepar’d am I!

I can and shall a Jedi be. True, Ben?

Ready are you, hmm?

What know you yet of ready?

Say naught of “ready.”

For eight hundred years

Have I the Jedi trainèd,

So say not “ready.”

I my own counsel

Shall keep on who’s to be trained!

A Jedi is wise.

A strong commitment

And a most serious mind

Are necessary.

Long have I watch’d him.

All his life looking away

To the future, hmm,

To the horizon.

Ne’er his mind on where he was,

What he was doing!

Ventures, excitement:

A Jedi craveth not these.

Thou art reckless, aye!

And so was I, if thou dost think on it.

And he is too old

The training to begin now.

Certain, he’s too old.

But Master Yoda, I have learn’d so much.