William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return (18 page)
Read William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return Online
Authors: Ian Doescher
O Father, fare thee well where’er thou goest,
And flights of Jedi sing thee to thy rest!
[Exit Luke Skywalker, dragging Anakin Skywalker’s body.
Good General Calrissian, the core
We now have reach’d—’tis here, within my sight.
I see it too, Wedge. Let us strike it down!
Approach the power regulator there,
Upon the northern tower. Let it burn!
I hear and do obey, Gold Leader. Soon
It shall be done, and then I exit quick.
Light up, you vicious beast of evil bent,
You sick creation of humanity’s
Most wretched and deprivèd sense of right—
Since you could not inspire love, you caus’d fear.
O that a people e’er should such a harsh
And treach’rous weapon like to this create.
For who would make a thing whose only point
Is to destroy and murder, maim and kill?
What beings would produce such wickedness
As this: an instrument of pain and death?
Thus I do strike at you with vengeance in
The name of those who have no voice to speak.
Farewell, you Star of Death—be now no more!
[Wedge Antilles and Lando of Calrissian fire at the Death Star’s power generator.
’Tis done, and now we make our great escape.
Make ready, Admiral, for it shall blow.
Move all the fleet hence, from the Death Star, else
Our ships may from the grand explosion take
A mighty slap.
[The Death Star explodes. Exeunt Lando Calrissian,
Nien Nunb, Wedge Antilles, Admiral Ackbar and
other rebels from the space battle. The rebel crew
on Endor looks to the sky to see the explosion.
—Hurrah! They did it!
—Auugh!
Behold, and all rejoice—the deed is done!
Yet be ye still, my tongue, for what of Luke?
[
To Leia:
] Certain I am that Luke was not inside
When it did perish.
—Truly, he was not,
For I can sense he safely doth abide.
[
aside:
] O, shall the love I’ve shown thus come to naught?
Her heart doth move toward good Luke, my friend.
Thus shall I play the noble part, and stay
Aside whilst their hearts meet, though in the end
It shall undo me. [
To Leia:
] Thou dost love him? Say.
Be sure I love him.
—Thus I ascertain’d
And do respect. Good lady, do not fear:
When he returns you may be unrestrain’d;
The two of you have my consent sincere.
Nay, nay, ’tis not as thou dost think, good Han.
Let not thy visions run amok with thee,
But hear these words that must fall strangely on
Thine ears: he is my brother, dost thou see?
Enter
Wicket.
N’yubba, yubba,
Heezur brubba,
Yoozur luvva,
Nyubba, nyubba.
[Han Solo rises, singing and dancing.
[
sings:
] O revelation kind, my heart doth swell—
A’merrily my feet do trip!
My Leia’s mine, and I am hers as well.
Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!
Though Leia and myself did fear the worst,
A’merrily my feet do trip!
Good Luke is safe from Death Star’s mighty burst.
Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!
We all are safe from that dire threat above—
A’merrily my feet do trip!
Thus end our wars with thoughts of blissful love!
Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!
Our rebel crew hath won the victory,
A’merrily my feet do trip!
Thus sing together, worthy company!
Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!
[Exeunt.
The forest moon of Endor.
Enter
L
UKE
S
KYWALKER
,
with the body of
A
NAKIN
S
KYWALKER
.
The fun’ral pyre shall light my father’s way
To glory out beyond the galaxy.
His final journey shall not be by ship,
But by the smoke that lifts into the air.
[Luke lights the wood on which Anakin’s body lies.
Rise up, my father—take thy closing flight.
Rise up, my father—stretch toward the sun.
Rise up, my father—man of tragedy,
Rise up, my father—rise, and thus be free.
Now is my heart full heavy, burden’d with
Such muddl’d thoughts that strain my very soul.
Methinks I should be happy, should rejoice
At our sure victory, the Empire crush’d.
Yet how can I make merry when the man
I hardly knew—the father I had wish’d
For years to meet—is come and gone like wind?
O trick of Fortune, cruel-minded Fate!
O wherefore mock at all my hope, my life?
Am I a simple pawn with which thou play’st?
Or hast thou e’er a purpose had for me?
But stop thy tongue now, Luke, thou art misled—
Aye, even as I rant I see my fault.
For why should I blame Fate for thievery
When it was Fate, indeed, that did decree
That I would meet my father, that we two
Would reunite with joy ere he did die?
Should I not thank the blessèd Fate that knit
This fascinating cord of life for me?
I have seen stars, and space, and battles, too,
Have had adventures grand with noble friends,
And at the last, have met my father. Nay,
Not only met, but witness’d his rebirth.
And therefore, I declare with gratitude
That I do thank the Fate that brought me here,
E’en to this tragic pyre on which he’s laid.
Now this is sure: whate’er befall me now,
I am a better man for having known
The one whose name I bear: e’en Anakin.
Enter
H
AN
S
OLO
, P
RINCESS
L
EIA
, C
HEWBACCA
, C-3PO, R2-D2, L
ANDO
OF
C
ALRISSIAN
, W
EDGE
A
NTILLES
, A
DMIRAL
A
CKBAR
,
other
REBELS
, and
E
WOKS
, celebrating. Enter
CHORUS
.
The rebels meet with joy to celebrate,
Their singing and their music fill the air.
The Empire is defeated in its hate,
And now Rebellion takes its respite rare.
The Jedi Luke looks up and sees three men—
Their countenances shine in bluish light—
’Tis Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin
Who come e’en from the grave to share this night.
All who did fight together come as one,
And give unto each other their embrace.
O’er this scene merry falls the setting sun;
Not till ’tis day shall they the future face.
Our mouths with mirth and laughter raise a din,
Our feet with glee and triumph stomp the ground,
Our bodies are awake and full of life,
Our souls are heal’d from Empire’s treachery.
New hope did guide our first adventures, aye,
Until the Empire harshly struck us back,
But then our noble Jedi hath return’d
And all ensur’d our victory was won.
We stop, e’en as our epic play doth end,
To thank thee for thy gracious company.
Our star wars now are ended, for a time—
The song of peace bursts forth in perfect rhyme.
[All freeze as R2-D2 takes center stage.
Even thus, our tale is finish’d.
Pardon if your hope’s diminish’d—
If you did not find the sequel
Satisfying. If unequal
Our keen play is unto others,
Do not part in anger, brothers.
Ears, attend: I know surprises,
Visions of all shapes and sizes.
In some other times and places
It may be Rebellion faces
Certain dangers that may sever
Our strong bonds that held us ever.
Mayhap something compromising,
Even like an Empire Rising.
Thus present I our conclusion:
Hint of Fate, or Fool’s illusion?
[Exeunt omnes.
END.
How do you solve a problem like the Ewoks? In
Return of the Jedi,
the Ewoks say things like “gunda” and “yubnub!” but for
The Jedi Doth Return
I wanted to make their speech distinctive without resorting to a device I had used before. After all, the Ewoks are one of very few types of foreign-language speaking creatures introduced in
Return of the Jedi
(Jabba and his language first appear in the scenes that were added to
A New Hope
). They’re known for their unique way of communicating, so I wanted to do something special for them. I didn’t want them to speak English (like Salacious Crumb), I didn’t want them to sing (like the Rancor, or the Ugnaughts from
William Shakespeare’s The Empire Striketh Back
), and I didn’t want them simply to speak in an untranslated foreign language (like R2’s beeps, or Jabba’s Huttese). Instead, I wanted their speech to feel unique. Ultimately, I had them talk in short lines of verse with an AABA rhyme scheme, with dashes of almost a pidgin English thrown in. For example, here is my version of Wicket’s first line when he finds Leia unconscious in the forest: