WINDDREAMER (28 page)

"I know you didn't," Conar said warily, as though he, too, recognized something irrevocable has just occurred between them.

Legion turned. "Will you please try to rest?"

Conar looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. "I'll try."

He pushed himself from the chair and walked unsteadily to the bed, as if his legs felt as numb as his heart. He grimaced, reaching for the bedpost. Sitting on the mattress, he heaved another sigh, then swung his legs onto the bed. He turned to his side, away from his brothers.

"You want some cover?" Jah-Ma-El asked, but wasn't surprised when Conar shook his head in denial.

"Can we get you anything?" Legion asked.

No reply.

"Is there anything we can do for you, Conar?" Jah-Ma-El inquired.

"Aye." Conar craned his head and looked at them. A fleeting glimpse of authority crossed the ravaged face before the expression shut down and the eyes turned blank. "Stop hovering over me and let me grieve in peace." A flicker of agony. "That is the least you owe me." He turned his head away, dismissing them.

Legion emerged from Conor's room and eyed two Outer Kingdom warriors flanking the door.

"They'll be posted here every second of the day and night," Belvoir said.

"You fear treachery?" Jah-Ma-El asked. As if feeling dwarfed by the bulky fur-clad warriors and their steady, unfathomable gazes, he eased away from them and viewed them at a safe distance.

"I'd rather he be safe than us sorry." An exasperated smile touched Belvoir's mouth. "Besides, Yuri insisted."

"Yuri?" Legion asked.

"That is me," came a gruff, barking voice.

When Legion looked into the warrior's face, the man flicked a quick grimace that must have passed for a smile, then resumed his stony stare at the wall across from him. The wicked-looking double-edged dagger in his hand made Legion shiver.

"We are grateful," Legion mumbled.

"Something has come up," Belvoir informed Legion. "Chase is in the library and he asked that you join him." He lowered his voice. "Just you and Jah-Ma-El. He said to make sure no one else but the two of you come."

"Why?"

"I don't know. He was being mysterious about it. You know Montyne. The man's prone to secrecy."

Legion nodded. "Right away?"

"He said as soon as possible. I gathered from his expression it was really important."

"He's been going over the books and ledgers Bent found at the Monastery," Jah-Ma-El said as he and Legion descended the stairs. "Think he found something?"

"Quite possibly." Legion looked at his brother. "Why is it I don't think I'm going to like it?"

"Lord Legion?"

Legion's head snapped around at the feminine voice. He saw Gezelle leaning over the balcony. "Aye?"

"It's a boy, Milord!" Gezelle's face glowed as she wiped her hand on her apron. "About seven pounds, I think."

Legion had forgotten all about Amber-lea's premature labor. The lady wasn't due for another three weeks, but from the sound of the babe's size, he'd survive.

He smiled, nodding. "How's she doing?"

"She's sleeping. It wasn't a bad delivery at all." Gezelle shrugged. "As first-time deliveries go."

"How's she doing?" Legion repeated.

Understanding lit Gezelle's features. "She's a survivor, Milord." Gezelle waved, then turned back to the room where Brelan Saur had installed his wife upon their marriage.

"He had two weeks with her," Jah-Ma-El whispered, as if picking up Legion's thoughts. "His days at Ciona with her were the happiest I'd seen Brelan in a long time."

Legion nodded. "I'll ask her to stay here. She doesn't need to be in Ciona by herself."

He looked at the second balcony and beyond, where Conar lay, no doubt, wide-awake and listening. He wondered briefly if his brother's thoughts had gone to the babe Liza was carrying when she fell from the ledge at the monastery.

"Just one more wrong for him to right," Jah-Ma-El murmured, obviously thinking of the lost babe, as well.

"And he will."

After all, Conar McGregor was a survivor, too.

"I was going over these family histories," Chase told them as he pulled aside volumes, looking for the one he needed. The dusty tomes sent up a musky smell, and tiny bugs wiggled on the papers strewn over the desk. He yanked out a thick red book wedged under a stack of scrolls; the scrolls rolled off the desk and to the floor, where he kicked them aside in his impatience. "When I read the family surname, I became fairly interested, since I was heavily connected with them at one time."

"Du Mer?" Jah-Ma-El asked, reading the elaborate calligraphy on the cover of the book.

"Aye," Chase answered absently. He thumbed the pages, wrinkling his nose at the dust and odor, until he found the correct place. He scanned the page, his finger running down the parchment. "Ah, here!" He turned the book so Legion could read.

Legion bent over, squinting to make out the fancy scribbling. He shrugged. "All I can make out is the name 'Cull.'"

"Exactly! Roget's and Teal's father. It lists his so-called
crimes
against the Tribunal, as well as Roget's. It lists Teal's mother and information on that side of the family. But..." Chase picked up the book and peered closely at the print. "Listen to this...

"In the Year now known as the Year of the Reaper, Duke Cullford Langston du Mer married one Teresa Adelaine Downs. Upon the marriage, the Downs family gave over into du Mer's keeping that portion of land from the fork of the river Minburn to that section of hillside known as Beggar's Knoll. The land, and the keep du Mer built thereon, was named Downsgate in honor of the family for their generous dowry. On the winter solstice of the Year now known as the Year of the Fox, du Mer's wife presented him with a son they named Roget Alexis. (Note: An attempt will be made to utilize this boy at our discretion.)"

Chase looked up, his eyes filled with hatred. "There's quite a few of those kind of notations throughout these books."

"Is there a book on every important family within the Seven Kingdoms?" Legion asked, looking alarmed.

Chase nodded. "With birth dates and marriages and deaths. All the little scandals the families were involved in. Mistresses, lovers, etc." He pointed his finger at Legion. "Just listen!"

"A second, illegitimate son, Tealson, gotten off a gypsy wench whose name has no meaning to our purposes, was born nine years later. This boy is considered to be unworthy of our interest since he shows no intelligence."

"Teal will be delighted to hear that," Jah-Ma-El mumbled.

"Don't interrupt!" Chase snapped. He leaned closer to the book in anticipation. "In the spring of the Year now known as the Year of the Laurel, the old Duke got with child a handmaiden of the Serenian Queen, Moira. The child, a worthless female, was also born during the Winter Solstice. She showed signs of magical ability, and was considered to be of a threat to us."

Chase looked up. "It tells all about the mother, but let me finish with this before I tell you who she was." He could see avid interest on Legion's bearded face, confusion on Jah-Ma-El's.

"During the birthing process, we managed to execute the mother, but the child survived our attempt to eliminate it with the unfortunate arrival of the grandmother. Jabus Andoire, one of the Cardinals at that time, would not let us try again for fear of retaliation by the Serenian whore, Moira, so the child survives. As the bitchlet ages, she shows no desire to use her talents and we have decided to ignore her. At the death of her grandmother, we installed the bitchlet at one of our Doorways, where she remained until interference by the Chosen."

"The Chosen?" Legion inquired.

Chase waved his hand in annoyance. "The book goes on to tell about how Roget was caught years ago." A flush spread over Montyne's face. "My part in it. Cull's death and--" He looked up. "Even Teal's recent marriage."

"It's that up to date?" Jah-Ma-El asked.

"It appears so." Chase closed the book. He fused his gaze with Legion's. "If we tell Roget and Teal they have a sister, how do you think they'll take it?"

"There's no mistake?" Legion asked. "No other entry that might say she's dead?"

"It names her and her mother. She's very much alive."

Jah-Ma-El's face cleared and he sat in a chair. "One of the Doorways..." he whispered.

"You know, don't you?" Chase asked.

"I believe so."

"Well, I don't!" Legion snapped. "If this woman is someone the du Mer's will be ashamed of--"

"Not at all." Jah-Ma-El smiled, the first smile he had known in days. "I believe they will be stunned, true, but most happy with the situation."

"
Who?
" Legion growled.

"Norus was one of the Doorways, Legion," Chase said.

"And
Conar
was the Chosen," Jah-Ma-El whispered.

Legion opened his mouth, as if prepared to yell his displeasure at the cryptic remarks. But then his mouth snapped shut. Opened and shut again.

"You look like a fish when you do that," Chase taunted. "It's not becoming. Don't do it anymore."

Legion snapped his lips shut, his eyes narrowing. He shook his head in wonder. "Gezelle?"

"Her mother's name was Gwendolyn. She was one of the Queen's servants. Her grandmother, Rosaleen, was a Daughter of the Multitude, personal maid to Queen Moira."

Legion slumped into a chair. "You're sure of this?"

"The book reveals things I'd just as soon not know, but in this instance, I think a little good news will help everyone, don't you?" Chase shoved the book toward Legion. "Do you want me to call Roget and Teal, or do you want to tell them?"

"Chandling Wynth has asked Gezelle to marry him now that Wes is gone," Jah-Ma-El threw in, talking about the former Elite who had died mysteriously while the Force was at the Monastery. "Of course the Joining has been postponed a while, considering Gezelle's mourning."

Chase grinned. "Chand will have to ask the du Mer brothers' permission, now, won't he?"

Legion smiled, too. "Oh, Roget's gonna love it!"

"Roget?" Jah-Ma-El laughed. "It's
Teal
who's gonna get the biggest kick out of this! Just think of all the children of Gezelle's and Wes' that Teal has pampered and loved through the years. Now, his title of
Uncle Teal
would be for real."

Chase smiled. Maybe things were looking up after all.

Legion wasn't surprised to see his brother sitting up in bed, staring vacantly across the room. He closed the door and walked to Conar's bedside. "You couldn't sleep?"

Conar shook his head.

"Did you even try?"

No answer.

Legion sighed and sat on the mattress. "I've got something to tell you."

The blue gaze flitted his way in obvious fear.

"Nothing's happened. As a matter of fact, it's good news."

The sapphire orbs closed in relief.

Legion lay a hand across his brother's. "You'll like what I'm about to tell you..."

A silent Roget stared at Chase, while Teal grinned from ear to ear, his loud whoop making everyone jump.

Both du Mer's had reacted pretty much as Jah-Ma-El had predicted they would upon hearing the news. Roget looked dumbfounded, struck speechless for what could well have been the first time in his life. His face went chalk-white, his expression puzzled and a little wary. But Teal nearly leapt for joy, his dimples so deep they looked as though someone had poked them there.

Roget gasped, glaring at Chase. "This isn't funny at all."

"No, it's wonderful!" Teal looked around, striking out for the hallway. "Where is she? Gezelle?" His merry voice rose. "
Gezelle?
"

"Wait!" Roget ordered, springing to his feet, sending his chair flying behind him. He ran after his younger brother. "Damn it, Teal, I said to wait! We'll both tell her!" He cursed, running after Teal, who bounded up the stairs. "Teal du Mer, you wait, I said!"

Although he only mumbled approval, Conar apparently agreed with Legion regarding the good news. He looked at his hands. "She deserves happiness. Chand will make her a good husband."

"Don't try doing this on your own." Legion squeezed Conar's fingers. "This is one time you shouldn't be alone. You've been alone too much in your lifetime, little brother."

"Don't call me that. I'm not a little boy anymore."

Legion understood. "I meant nothing by it. The endearment doesn't belittle you in any way, but if it bothers you, I won't use it again."

"Thank you."

"But I meant what I said. I don't want you trying to handle your grief on your own. I'm here to help."

"This is something I
must
do alone. It's a journey I
must
take by myself. Believe me when I say you would not like to travel my road with me."

"I would go to hell itself if you needed me beside you!"

A look of intense sorrow passed over Conar's face. His lips twitched, not in a smile, but in acknowledgment of the offer. "You've been a good friend, Legion A'Lex. And as a brother, no man could ask for better. I have always loved you."

"I don't see how you could after--"

Conar shook his head. "I understood how you felt. Believe me, I did. Who better than I?"

The pain in Conar's voice cut Legion to the core. He threw his arms around Conar and wept. The grief he had previously denied releasing now wrenched his body with thundering sobs. He felt Conar's arms hold him tightly, and vaguely heard low murmurs of comfort. When he at last pulled away, he looked at Conar's dry face.

"I'm all right," Conar said. "But I need to be alone. Respect that. When I'm ready, I'll come downstairs."

Legion wanted to stay, wanted to talk. Something deep inside him warned him to stay, but when Conar asked again that he be left alone, Legion surrendered and made to leave. Looking over his shoulder as he closed the door, he saw Conar staring vacantly across the room. He wanted to say something. Felt the need to, but couldn't. Conar's silence was like a warning that time had moved past words.

Conar heard the door close, but didn't look that way. He sat as still as death, his heart beating so slowly, so wearily, in his chest. It wasn't really true that he felt nothing. He did. He felt an ache, a terrible ache that had settled in his heart and refused to leave.

He knew he would have that ache for the rest of his life.

He wanted it there to remind him what had to be done.