Wingborn (9 page)

“The countess
wrote one for me. She said it was a fine ambition for any young
man, and wished me well of it.”

The cheerful words caused a physical ache in
Mhysra
’
s chest. She was
happy for Derrain, truly she was, but the idea that her mother
could so easily wish him well, while denying her own daughter a
similar chance at happiness, was hurtful.

“
Where
will you be staying in Nimbys?” Mherrin asked Derrain, the pair of
them oblivious to her pain. It pulsed afresh when her friend
explained about the room the countess had given him in the Kilpapan
mews. He’
d be sharing with two footmen, but still, it was a
roof over his head that enabled him to stay and attend the
selection school.

It wasn
’
t much, Mhysra knew, just a small thing compared to
everything the Kilpapans had, but the opportunity it represented
was more than her parents had ever done for her.

“
So
I’
ll be seeing you in a few days,
”
Derrain said, squeezing her shoulder.
“
Bright and early,
outside the mews. Don
’
t
be late. It won
’
t look
good on our first day.
”

He was so cheerful about it all, so happy,
when he
’
d effectively
changed his life for her. It wasn
’
t his fault how it had come about. All that really
mattered was what he had done.

So Mhysra dragged a smile up past the ache
and nodded.
“Can’
t
wait.
”

Saying something about shopping for new
gear, Derrain gave them a wave and vanished amongst the milling
crowds.

Taking a tight grip on her arm, Mherrin
steered her in the opposite direction.
“Breathe,” he ordered softly. “It’
ll be all right,
just breathe.
”

“
I’
m fine,
”
she told him numbly, massaging the ache in her
chest. Actually, now that she was moving again she was starting to
feel better. When he urged her onto the crowded steps of the
cathedral, she roused enough to shake him off.
“
Mherrin, I
’
m all right.
”

“Your face
went as blank as the clouds,” he muttered, pushing her down and
crouching in front of her. Taking off his gloves, he patted her
cheek for some unknown reason. “You even swayed. I thought you were
going to faint.”

“
Well, I
didn’
t,
”
she
grumbled.
“
Thankfully.
Poor Derry, he didn
’
t
deserve that. I think he expected me to be more excited.
”
Groaning, she rested her forehead
against her drawn up knees and wrapped her arms around her legs.
“
I
’
m a bad friend. I don
’
t deserve him.
”

“
He is
better than you, I agree,” consoled her loving cousin, ruffling her
curls. “But you’
ll have plenty of time to make it up to him.
Shame he
’
s already sent
his letter in. It would have been much easier to copy his. Alas,
our forgery will have to start from scratch. Whose signature is
easier, the countess
’
or
the earl
’
s, do you
know?
”

Lifting her head, she peered at him through
his curls.
“
You are a
bad man.
”

Grinning, he hauled her to her feet and
linked his arm through hers.
“
And you don
’
t deserve me either.
”

AFTER VISITING
CUMULO
that afternoon, Mhysra hung around the eyries to talk
to Lieutenant Stirla and a few Riders about what to expect in
training. She got so caught up in their horror stories and
competing boasts that she had to run home afterwards or risk being
late for dinner. Which would have been serious, since this would be
her last chance to gain her parents
’
permission. Tomorrow was the last day of
Midwinter, when she
’
d
promised to hand a letter of recommendation over to the fussy
little clerk. Mherrin had already forged one for her, but her own
honour demanded she try one last time.

Going straight up to change, she arrived in
the drawing room just as the gong rang. She barely had time to
greet her mother before her father led them into the dining room.
Knowing what was coming, Mherrin had chosen to spend his last
evening in the city elsewhere. He
’
d never been comfortable dining with the earl, and
having the countess around only made things worse.

As the earl escorted his countess into the
dining room, Mhysra
’
s
sister took her arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. Milluqua knew how
Mhysra felt and was on her side. Not that she
’
d ever intervened, since it was not her
place. Mhysra didn
’
t
mind: she preferred to fight her own battles.

Lord Kilpapan sat at the head of the dining
table, his countess at his right hand, his oldest daughter to his
left, leaving Mhysra to sit beside her mother. She wished she was
beside her sister, but swallowed her protests. During the early
courses, her parents discussed the countess
’
recent journey, while the sisters sipped
their soup and shared commiserating looks.

Next her mother grilled Milluqua on which
families were wintering in Nimbys and what she had missed while
she
’
d been away. Finding
the conversation dull, Mhysra focused on her food. Knowing a lapse
in manners would do her no favours, she waited for a pause.

“I saw Derrain
this afternoon.”

Lady Kilpapan smiled at her.
“
I am pleased. He wished quite
desperately to share his news with you and was disappointed to find
you away from home.
”

“What is
this?” the earl rumbled, leaning back in his chair so that the next
course could be served.

“
Derrain
fra Canlen, my dear, a midshipman from
the
Illuminai.
I mentioned him to you briefly, do you not remember?
”

The earl looked bored, crew being beneath
his notice, but Milluqua nodded.
“
I recall it, mother.
”
She narrowed her eyes at her sister in silent
warning.
“
He wishes to
join the Rift Riders.
”

“Ah.” His
lordship nodded. “A fine ambition for any young man.”

Mhysra scowled.

“I wish him
well,” the countess said, drawing the subject to a close.

Not in Mhysra
’
s mind.
“
Thank you, mother, for easing his way.
He
’
s very
grateful.
”

Milluqua dabbed her napkin against her lips
and shook her head, but Mhysra ignored her. She fiddled with her
fork, aware that her father was watching, and decided to try one
more time.
“
I
wondered
…
Have you heard
the proclamation, mother?
”

“
Don’
t fidget, Mhysra,
”
Lady Kilpapan chided, waiting for her to take her
hand off the cutlery.
“
Which proclamation?
”
Her tone was humouring and Mhysra
’
s frustration simmered.

Just because she had no interest in commerce
or people with more letters in their names than brains in their
head, did not make her a child to be humoured.

“The one
permitting women to –”

“Enough!” Lord
Kilpapan slammed his fist on the table, making the wineglasses
wobble and the candlelight dance. “Gods have mercy, girl, do not
try me again. I have said it a thousand times, the answer is no. It
will always be no. I will not answer again. Do not ask!”

Mhysra balled her napkin on her lap and
stared at her white knuckles, fighting her anger.

“What’s this?”
Lady Kilpapan enquired.

“
Our
daughter wishes to join the Rift Riders,” the earl growled. “She
wishes to pair up with an oversized chicken and remove to Aquila,
to live amongst men of uncertain breeding. There she will learn to
fight and fly, putting herself beyond all bounds of common decency.
Since no other respectable family would be so foolish as to permit
their daughters to subjugate themselves to such folly, she will
likely be the only female amongst hundreds, and what will become of
her reputation then? She will be known as the Whore of Aquila and
the taint will stain this entire family.
I will not have it!
No daughter of mine will fight like a commoner, nor spread her legs
for any passer-by, in rumour or in truth!
”

There was a stunned silence. Breathing
heavily in the aftermath of his outburst, the earl drained his
wineglass with an unsteady hand.
“
That is the answer you have plagued me ceaselessly
for, daughter. Be satisfied. You are a Kilpapan of Imercian. You
owe your duty to your name, to be honourable and demure, even after
your marriage. That is how it shall be. That is how my daughters
behave.
”

At first she was beyond words, unable to
believe that this man, this
stranger
could speak of her
thus. But it was the approving glance he sent Milluqua
’
s way that finished her off.

“
Your
daughters, sir?” she said softly, fighting to keep her tone even.
“Have you another we have never met, because from you recent
behaviour you appear to only have one.
I am no daughter of
yours.
”

“You are a
Kilpapan –”

“
I was
raised by my aunt!” she snapped, cutting off her father before he
could start again. She had suffered his condescension for twelve
despairing days. She would not sit through this lecture again. Her
reputation was not the only thing that mattered.
“
She
cared for me,
she
raised me,
she
knows me. She is more my parent than either of you
will ever be. I am Wingborn.
I never dreamed I could join
the Riders, because women were not allowed.

“
But now
they are.
Why deny me this chance, which I was clearly born
to take? I was not raised to any of this.
”
She waved her hand at the elegantly
appointed dining room, the ten course meal, the silverware, the
fine gowns and best wines.
“
I breed miryhls and feed them raw meat with my bare
hands. That is the role I was prepared for. You took me away from
that without a thought because you believe a Kilpapan daughter
should be in Nimbys.

“
Well, I
am here and I let you take me from all I have ever wanted. But now
there is a new chance for me, a fresh opportunity. Now women can
join the Riders.
I
can join the Riders, and I will.
With or without your permission, Maegla as my witness, I will.
Reputation be damned. If I take
anything from this benighted family then let it be my honour. And
if anyone says otherwise, I will answer them. Fear not, my lord, I
shall not expect
you
to defend
me.”

Lord Kilpapan trembled at the indignity of
being so spoken to, but his wife rested a hand on his before he
could speak.

“All students require a guardian
’
s permission.
” The countess’ tone was cold.

“
I am
Wingborn,” Mhysra repeated, voice shaking. “They will no
t
turn me away.
”

“
They
will not
willingly make an enemy of your father
either,
”
Lady Kilpapan
warned.

“
They
won’
t turn me away,
”
Mhysra repeated, knowing she had no choice now but
to use the forgery. She only hoped Mherrin would not be caught.

“You would
turn your back on your family?” her mother asked.

“Why should I
have to?” Mhysra demanded, clenching her fists. “Kilai’s already at
Aquila. The family duty you cling to has always contained Rift
Riders. Women as well as men, before we were excluded. Why am I any
different from my brother? Why is my honour questioned and his
praised?”

“You are my
daughter,” Lord Kilpapan growled.

Mhysra raised her chin. This was it, the
moment she
’
d wished to
avoid, but had feared would come all along. There would be no going
back.
“
Not if you deny
me this,
”
she said,
fighting to steady her voice. Milluqua gasped, and Mhysra shot her
an apologetic glance.
“
I
a
m willing to do my duty
to the Kilpapan name, but my duty to Cumulo comes first. He is
mine, as I am his. We bonded the day we were born, twins in
different forms. He hatched the moment I first breathed. He is part
of me. I won
’
t let him
suffer needlessly. I love him too much.
”

Her words hung in the silence. She knew she
was not loved by her parents – how could she be when she
’
d met them only a handful of
times? And yet, surely, deep inside, they must feel something for
her. She prayed to the gods that they did and it would be
enough.

Lord Kilpapan pushed his chair back from the
table. The servants had long departed, driven from the room by icy
glares from the countess and Milluqua. No doubt they were listening
outside the door, but for now there was no one in the room except
the family, and his lordship was slow to rise.

He held out a hand to his wife.
“
My lady, I believe it is time to
retire.
”