Winners (12 page)

The limousine that had picked them up at Denver International Airport drove them to the Cherry Hills Village section of South Denver, where they lived. Lily looked excited as she saw the familiar streets. She turned to glance at her father, and he was looking out the window of the car with a sad expression. He had never expected to bring Lily home from their annual trip to Squaw Valley in a wheelchair, and she was just glad to be home.

The driver pulled up in the circular driveway in front of the house, and Angie was waiting for them. She had stayed to see if there was anything she could do to help. The driver got the wheelchair out of the trunk, and Jennifer and Bill helped Lily into it, and she turned to smile at Angie, who tried not to show the emotion she felt as she watched her. Seeing Lily in the wheelchair nearly broke her heart. The housekeeper who came in the daytime had left food for them in the fridge, which Angie mentioned cheerfully as she followed them into the house.

“Hi, Angie,” Lily said with a slow smile. She was tired after the trip.

“Hi, Lily,” she said, trying not to look as sad as she felt, watching Lily roll herself into the house, and Bill squeezed Angie’s shoulder as he walked past her. It had been a long, hard two months.

And once in the house, Bill had to help maneuver the wheelchair up three steps into the front hall. It was a large, handsome house, filled with beautiful antiques and expensive art. Jennifer tried not to look as impressed as she was, but after the hotels and the plane, she wasn’t surprised. They lived an amazing life, although she realized that even they weren’t exempt from unexpected hardships, like the death of Lily’s mother and Lily’s accident in Squaw.

Lily stopped at the entrance to the living room, and would have had to go down two steps to go into it, so she turned and went to the kitchen instead. There was a swinging door that she couldn’t manage, and Bill held it open for her. Angie was taking out the food the housekeeper had left for them for dinner, and Lily rapidly found that she was bumping into everything. The table, chairs, and island in the center were an obstacle course for her. She had to lean into the fridge to get something to drink, and the counters were the wrong height. She had suddenly become a misfit in her own world, and she couldn’t reach the faucets at the sink to wash her hands. She looked upset and rolled up to the table, and helped herself to some cheese and fruit, and told her father she wanted to go upstairs. There was a long elegant flight of stairs that she couldn’t negotiate, and he had to carry her, while Jennifer carried the chair. It confirmed to Bill that the house was going to be impossible for Lily to live in unless he made a number of changes. Otherwise she would be a prisoner in their home, unable to move from one place to another without help.

While Bill carried Lily upstairs, Angie left discreetly and Lily settled into her room like a warm embrace. Everything was pink silk and satin, there were flowered curtains, and the thick wool carpeting that had always seemed so cozy was hard to negotiate with the chair. She pulled herself onto her bed and called her friends, while Jennifer unpacked for her. Bill had showed Jennifer a guest room nearby, where she was to spend the night before she went back to Squaw Valley the next day.

Lily was disappointed that Veronica couldn’t come over, and she tried calling her just to talk, but couldn’t get her. And Jeremy still hadn’t answered her text. He called her two hours later, after Jennifer had helped her take a bath and get into bed between fresh, clean sheets. It felt wonderful to be in her own bed.

“When did you get home?” Jeremy asked casually, as though he hadn’t gotten her latest texts, and she’d been on an ordinary trip, instead of a journey to hell and back with a month and a half in a hospital for a spinal cord injury, major surgery, and a weeklong jaunt around Europe and the East to see doctors for examinations and consultations.

“About two hours ago. Do you want to come by?” She was dying to see familiar faces, and she realized now how much she had missed everyone on the ski team and at school, and she couldn’t go back to school until the end of May. She would be dependent on them to visit her while she was at Craig. There was a long pause after her question, and she had a sudden feeling that their conversation wasn’t going to go well.

“I’m kind of busy,” he said, in response to her invitation, “and Lily, I guess we need to talk.” She could sense what was coming and closed her eyes, waiting to hear what he would say. But more than anything, she knew why. The word was out among her friends. She was in a wheelchair, and although she hadn’t said it, they had guessed that she was liable to stay that way. “I’ve … I’ve kind of been seeing someone else … you’ve been gone a long time.”

“And now that I’m back?” She wanted to force his hand and see what he said. At least she’d know where she stood. She was trying to face the realities of her life, and didn’t want to delude herself about him either. She needed to know what and who was real and who she could count on. More than ever, it was important to her now.

“You’re not really back, though, are you? Aren’t you going to rehab tomorrow?” He made it sound like she was going to jail, and she felt that way. “I kind of think we need to let things go with us, don’t you? I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while.” He sounded embarrassed but not really apologetic. Clearly, a girlfriend in a wheelchair was more than he could handle, and she was sure he wouldn’t be the only one. She suddenly felt like a pariah.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she said, trying to sound cavalier about it and not as hurt as she was. “Well, take care. Thanks for calling me.” She hung up before she started to cry, which would have been mortifying. She sat staring into space, still holding her cell phone in her hand for a long time. She wondered if anyone would ever want her now.

And downstairs Bill had just called Penny. He felt an obligation to call her now that he was home. He had hardly spoken to her in the last two months. She sounded surprised to hear from him and asked him where he was.

“We just arrived from Boston two hours ago.” He had told her about the round of consultations he was planning, but he hadn’t spoken to her since, and that had been three weeks ago. He just never had time to call her, and he didn’t really want to. The only thing on his mind was Lily, and the miracle cure he had hoped to find.

“How did it go?” Penny sounded sympathetic and concerned.

“Not very well,” he said honestly, and she could hear the discouragement in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Bill,” she said sincerely. “What are you going to do now?”

“They’re admitting her to Craig tomorrow. She’ll be there for three or four months while they teach her what she needs to know.” He sounded near tears as he said it, and Penny’s heart went out to him. “Maybe we could have dinner sometime next week.” She wanted to ask him why, but she didn’t. There was clearly no room for her in his life. There hadn’t been much before, but there was even less now. After not hearing from him for three weeks, she knew she was the last thing on his mind, and she hadn’t been a high priority before.

“I’m actually leaving for Kenya tomorrow, for three weeks. I’ve been asked to do the PR for a new chain of hotels there, for an organization that plans safaris. It’s an exciting project. I’ll call you when I get back.” By that time she wouldn’t have seen him for three months. With Lily’s accident, their pretense at a relationship had become absurd, and he was aware of it as well.

“I’m not sure what kind of energy I have for us right now,” he said honestly. “This thing with Lily has been rough, and it’s not going to get better for a while.” She could sense that there was more to what he was saying to her, and she wasn’t surprised.

“What are you saying?”

“I like spending time with you, Penny, but you have a busy life, and I have a kid who has to adjust to the idea that she may be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. I need to be here for her.”

“You always have been,” Penny said simply. “But I understand. It sounds like there’s no room for us.”

“I think that’s right,” he said quietly. He had never been in love with her, and having to think about her now felt like too much. She had figured that out when he called to tell her about the accident, from Squaw. She knew how devoted he was to Lily, and what a dedicated father he was. Not having children of her own, it had always been hard for her to understand the major role Lily played in his life. “I’m sorry,” he said, sounding exhausted. He had never in his life felt as emotionally drained as he had since the accident.

“I expected it would work out like this,” she said, sounding adult about it. She didn’t seem very upset. “I always did, and particularly now.”

“I think it’s going to be rough for a while.”

“I’m sorry this happened, to both of you. Try not to take it too hard. There’s only so much you can do.”

“That’s not so simple to do. I just want to make it easier for her.”

“You will. You’re a terrific father,” she said, and he laughed.

“And a lousy boyfriend. Is that what you mean?” He sounded good humored when he said it, and she laughed too.

“Something like that. Take care, Bill.”

“Thanks, you too. Have a good trip.”

“I will. Give my love to Lily,” she said, and a minute later they hung up. It was over, and they both knew it, and had been for two months, or maybe even before that. Their arrangement had been convenient, and fun sometimes, but they had never been in love with each other. And as he thought about it, he wondered why “take care” always sounded like “goodbye.”

He turned off the lights in the kitchen, went upstairs, and found Lily sitting on her bed, looking dazed, with her cell phone in her hand.

“I just got dumped by Jeremy,” she said with a serious expression as her father walked into the room.

“So did I, by Penny,” he said with a rueful smile, “or maybe I dumped her. I’m not sure which. Anyway, it’s over. She said to send you her love.”

“Are you sad about it?”

“A little,” he said honestly. “But it wasn’t a big deal.” But two years was a long time, and he liked her. She was a familiar figure in his life, and he would miss her a little, though probably not too much. “What about you? Are you upset about Jeremy?”

“Kind of,” she admitted, “but I’m not really surprised. Did Penny dump you because of me, because I got hurt?” She waved vaguely at her wheelchair, and he understood.

“Not really. It was never really right. She travels all the time, and she works hard. And it’s not easy being with someone who doesn’t have kids. They never understand.”

She nodded. She knew that about Penny too. She was a lot different from her dad. “I think Jeremy dumped me because I got hurt.” It was easier to say than “because I can’t walk.”

“In that case, he’s a jerk, and you’re better off without him. Some really great guy is going to love you one day, and it won’t matter to him at all.” He hoped that would be true.

“I’m not so sure,” she said with a wistful expression. She couldn’t imagine a guy who wouldn’t care that she was in a wheelchair, despite everything Jessie had said. It sounded good, but she didn’t know if that was true. And it mattered to Jeremy. She could hear it in his voice.

“Where’s Veronica?” Bill was surprised not to see her. The two girls were inseparable most of the time.

“Studying for midterms. Her parents wouldn’t let her go out. She said she’d come see me at Craig.” Bill hoped she would and was disappointed she hadn’t come that night, after everything Lily had been through. He was worried that Lily’s friends were going to let her down. And he knew it was going to be hard for her if they did. He hated all that she was experiencing, the disappointments and the heartbreak along with everything else. It was a lot for her to face, but he also knew that kids that age weren’t sure to come through.

“Well, we both got dumped, but we have each other. It’s a start,” he said, smiling at her, and then kissed her and left the room as Jennifer walked in, suggesting they have a last game of cards. She had been a good friend to Lily and a wonderful traveling companion for the past week.

“I’m going to miss you,” Lily said sadly when Jennifer settled her for the night and turned off the lights.

“So will I,” Jennifer said with a smile. “You and your father have spoiled me forever. My miserable apartment in Truckee with three roommates is going to be hell after this. I’m going to feel like Cinderella after the ball.” She smiled as she said it, and Lily looked up at her with big eyes.

“I’m nervous about going to Craig,” she admitted.

“Don’t be. You’ll have everyone wrapped around your finger in no time, and you might meet kids your age. Maybe even cute boys.” Lily nodded, trying not to think about it, but it was like going back to the hospital again, and all she wanted to do now was stay home, in their comfortable house, and see her friends.

She lay in bed, thinking about it for a long time, and finally she was so exhausted, she fell asleep.

Chapter 11

Jennifer helped Lily get ready the next morning, which was a major feat in a bathroom that wasn’t built for a wheelchair. There was no special seat for her in the shower. Angie had forgotten to order one, so Jennifer held her up, and they both got soaking wet. The bathroom was a mess by the time they were through. But Lily was a good sport about it.

Her father carried her down to breakfast, and Jennifer and Lily had repacked the night before, with the kinds of things she’d want to wear at Craig. Jennifer quietly put away Lily’s ski clothes. There was a whole closet of them, with her jackets and uniforms for the Olympic ski team. She knew it would upset Lily to see those. Instead, she gave her jeans and sweaters, some warm jackets, and three pairs of Nikes. She had tried to choose things that would be easy for her to put on.

Lily ate a light breakfast, and then the cab came for Jennifer for her flight to San Francisco. She was changing planes there and taking another flight to Reno, and one of her friends was picking her up and driving her back to Squaw Valley. She had given Lily a warm hug before she left and thanked Bill for everything. And after she was gone, he looked at Lily. He had a knot in his stomach, and Lily didn’t say anything, but she had one too. She was dreading going to rehab, but she knew it was what she had to do.