Authors: Ruth Axtell Morren
“They will inform Dr. Roseberry as soon as he returns,” Simon told her.
“He is out?”
“Attending the Duchess of Lansdowne's ball.”
Althea clamped her lips shut against the retort forming on her
lips. Quietly, she told him instead about her fear that Rebecca might have contracted the infection that had gripped a couple of the servants.
His dark eyes flashed. “Why wasn't I told of this?”
“I did inform Giles as soon as Dot took ill.”
Simon rubbed his face, his frustration clear. “I don't remember his saying anything. He's an old manâit could have slipped his mind.”
She said nothing.
Her silence seemed only to anger him. “Perhaps he did mention it. I simply don't remember!” He swore. “I could have removed Rebecca from the household. Why didn't you come to me?” He looked at her, the anguish visible in his eyes.
She looked down at her hands. “I'm sorry, I should have come to you directly.”
He didn't say anything more, and she knew they were both thinking of that night and how they had been at such pains to avoid one another since then. Would their foolishness cost Rebecca now?
When the physician didn't arrive within an hour, Simon finally called for Mr. Russell, who came in under an hour. Simon and Althea watched silently as the doctor examined her. He gave her a sleeping draft and then went out into the corridor with the two of them.
He had already questioned them about any other illness in the household. He didn't mince words now. “It's clear she's caught what the servants have. There's nothing to do now but nurse her through it, and pray to God she has the strength to live as it runs its course.”
By then Mrs. Higgs had arrived and prepared to take the first watch. Althea retired to her room, planning to check in at dawn. Simon left instructions with the night nurse to call him as well at first light.
Althea walked around her room, not knowing even how to pray. She felt the weight of discouragement press down on her
and didn't feel the power to fight it. She knew the words; she knew the weapons she had been given, but she didn't feel the strength to use them. She finally crumpled at her bedside and simply murmured, “Oh, Godâ¦oh, Godâ¦oh, Godâ¦help her!” Over and over she cried the words quietly, feeling like a little child crying on her parent's lap, not knowing how he would answer, only needing to feel the solid comfort of that lap, knowing it wasn't going to move.
She finally fell asleep, but awakened throughout the night to pray. At dawn she arose and peeked in on Rebecca. The child was worse, and Althea quickly washed and dressed to return to her bedside, her Bible in hand.
Simon came in shortly afterward, but the two didn't say much to each other. He sat for a while with his daughter. Althea exited the room to leave him alone with her, telling him softly to call her as soon as he needed to leave. In the meantime, she knelt in the sitting room and continued to pray. She decided to fast that day.
The day blended into night and the night into another dawn. Althea thought it was ironic how beautiful those summer days were. She would peer out the window at the street below, see the bright sunshine on the lush treetops, hear the shouts of children running and playing in the nearby square, and listen to the
clip-clop
of horses trotting briskly on the cobblestonesâsounds of life, when within the confines of the mansion on Green Street were heard only dull, muffled sounds, as if everyone was afraid the least noise would somehow hasten things.
Althea continued her fast, hoping Simon would not notice, but at the fourth day he asked her sharply if she was not eating. She shook her head, hoping he would ask her no more.
“What, are you hoping to appease your God with sackcloth and ashes?”
She made no reply, feeling no desire to defend her actions. In her fast, though her body felt weak, her spirit felt strong. By the fifth day, her physical desire for food had disappeared and she had an increased hunger for God's word. When she was alone with
Rebecca, she read the Word aloud, saturating the room with it. In those moments, she felt the presence of God strongly and hope awakened in her.
“M
iss Althea?”
Althea started awake in her seat. She must have dozed off for a moment. She looked immediately toward Rebecca's bed. “Yes, dear, what is it?” she asked, leaning over her.
“Oh, Althea!” The little girl's face was radiant and she stretched out her hand, reaching for Althea's. Althea took the hot hand in hers and clasped it.
“Oh, Miss Althea, I must tell you about it.”
“About what, dear?”
Rebecca turned dark, luminous eyes to her. “I just met Him!”
“Who, dear?” Althea smoothed her forehead with her other hand.
“Jesus!”
Althea's heart began to pound. “You did?” she asked in awe. “Tell me about it.”
“I must have been dreaming, but I saw Him. He was right here with me. Oh, Althea, it was wonderful!”
Althea nodded. “Oh, yes, dear, it must have been. What did He say?”
Rebecca closed her eyes. “He told me so many nice things. He said I would be coming to stay with Him soon. Oh, Miss Althea!” Her expression was earnest. “I wanted to stay with Him already. He was so beautiful. I didn't want to ever leave His side.
“He gave me His hand and I didn't want to let it go! But He comforted me, saying it would be soon. There was so much light around Him. I felt as if it reached right through me, lighting me up, too. I felt so warm inside!
“He told me not to be afraid, that I would be with Him for always. There was such a glow about Him and so much love in His eyes.” She peered at Althea intently as if wanting her to understand.
“Yes, I know, sweetheart,” said Althea through her tears.
“You're crying. Are you sad?”
Althea shook her head. “I'm so happy you met Jesus.” She cupped the girl's cheek with her hand. “I shall miss you, dear, ever so much, but I will see you again. You know that now, don't you?”
“Yes. I understand what you meant, too, when you told me God is always with us. He truly is. I can feel Him here now. Can't you?”
“Yes, oh, yes!”
Rebecca's eyes clouded for a moment. “It only made me sad about
Abba.
I asked Jesus about him. Could he not come, too? Jesus told me not to be sad about
Abba.
” Rebecca's eyes smiled once again into Althea's. “He said He loved
Abba
just as much as I did, and He wouldn't leave him comfortless. Those were His wordsâHe wouldn't leave
Abba
âcomfortless.' He gave me the warmest smile and told me that
Abba
would be all right.”
Rebecca held up Althea's hand and spread it open. “Jesus held out his palm to me like this, to show me where
Abba
was, engraved right in His hand.”
One of Althea's tears dropped onto her palm, and she wiped her eyes.
“Oh, Miss Althea, don't cry!” She looked into her nurse's eyes.
“I saw the scar!” Her voice was hushed in awe. “That's when I knew it was Jesus.”
The two sat quietly for a few moments, drinking in the experience. After a while, Rebecca spoke again. “He told me right before I woke up that He would leave someone to take care of
Abba
for me until it was his turn to join me.”
Althea took out her handkerchief and covered her eyes, knowing that something momentous had just occurred. She realized that Rebecca would not be with them much longer, but she felt, too, the deep joy of knowing where Rebecca was going.
“Rebecca.” She spoke softly, wondering whether the girl had fallen asleep.
“Yes, Miss Althea?” Her dark eyes looked joyfully into Althea's.
“Would you like to be baptized, the way we've read about?”
She considered for a moment before a slow smile spread across her face. “Yes. Just like Jesus when the dove came upon Him.”
“Yes.”
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Althea prayed before going to see Simon. She asked God for favor with her employer in the matter pertaining to his daughter's baptism. With great trepidation she knocked on the library door. When Simon bid her enter his sanctum, she felt like Esther entering the king's chamber. It had been a while since she'd crossed the threshold of that room.
“What is it?” he asked as she approached his desk. “Is it Rebecca?”
“In a manner of speaking.” Seeing he was ready to rise from his chair, she stopped him with a motion of her hand. “She's sleeping. Mrs. Higgs is with her.” She cleared her throat as she watched him resettle himself in his seat. “I merely wanted to ask you for something.”
He said nothing, his somber eyes attentive.
“Would you consider allowing Rebecca to receive baptism?”
She could see he had not expected that. He rubbed a hand
across his jaw, his glance going back to the papers on his desk. “One more of your God's requisites before entry is granted into Paradise?”
Althea said nothing.
Silence fell. Then he looked at her and asked abruptly, “Is this your idea or Rebecca's?”
“I asked her if she would like to be baptized and she expressed her wish for it.”
At his look of skepticism, she added, “You may ask her yourself. I did not influence her in her decision.”
“I'm sure you didn't,” he replied dryly. The silence drew out so long, Althea thought he wasn't going to reply, when he sighed deeply. “Very well.”
As Althea breathed a prayer of thanksgiving, Simon asked, “What must I do to have it arranged?”
“It's all right. I can see to it.”
“How will it be done? A baptismal font?”
Althea hesitated. “I was thinkingâ¦perhaps we could use the tub where she is bathed. I know she is weak, but if the room and water are well heated, I don't think it will cause her any harm.” She waited, praying silently.
“You mean immerse her fully in water?” His dark eyes expressed their shock.
“But only for an instant. We'd have her right out and into dry things immediately and into her warm bed.”
His look was hostile. “I think it's madness.”
She bit her lip. How could she tell him the physical aspects at this point didn't much matter, that only the spiritual concerns had any import now?
“Don't expect me to attend,” he said abruptly.
She blinked at him. Was that a consent?
Swallowing her disappointment at his lack of interest in witnessing the event, grateful only that he wouldn't oppose it, she said, “You needn't if you don't wish it.”
“I don't.” He took up his pen in dismissal.
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Althea asked the man who served as pastor at a chapel near the mission to come and administer the baptism. He came a few afternoons after her conversation with Simon. Giles and Harry had moved the tub up to Rebecca's room and the maids had filled it with warm water. All the servants were present.
Just as the pastor was ready to begin, the door opened quietly and Simon stepped in. He stood by the door, and everyone seemed instinctively to sense that he didn't want his presence to be noted.
Althea nodded to the pastor to begin.
Knowing Rebecca's weak condition, he kept things brief. He sat by her bed and took one of her hands in his. “Hello, my dear. I'm here to baptize you. Would you like that?” His voice was kindly.
“Yes, I should like that.”
“You just need to repent of your sins, Rebecca, and when you go under the water, you're showing obedience in following Jesus in His death, being buried with Him, and when you come up out of the water, you're believing you are raised to new life in Him. Do you think you're ready to do that?”
“Oh, yes!”
The pastor led her in a short prayer, and then gave a nod to Harry, who approached the bed and bent down to pick up Rebecca. At that, Simon moved forward and touched his sleeve. “I'll see to my daughter.”
Harry stepped aside and allowed Simon to pick her up. At the pastor's direction, Simon carried his nightgown-clad daughter over to the tub. Everyone drew near.
The pastor began to read from the Bible. “âWho is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God? This is he that came by water and blood, even Jesus Christ; not by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit that beareth witness, because the Spirit is truth. For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one. And there are three that
bear witness in earth, the spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one.'
“Today, Rebecca, you are bearing witness of the truth by following Jesus in baptism by water. Jesus declared before He departed this earth that âhe that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.'
“Therefore, we now baptize you, Rebecca Aguilar, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” With those words, the pastor leaned forward and helped Simon submerge his daughter into the water.
Althea felt the lump in her throat at the reading of the words and the sight of Rebecca being baptized, the meaning of the act hitting her afresh although she had witnessed countless baptisms. As soon as Rebecca came up, smiling, Althea and Dot hurried forward with warm towels and wrapped Rebecca in them. Simon carried her back over to the bed, where the two women quickly changed her wet garment for a dry one and tucked her back in.
Simon left as soon as it was over, as quietly as he had come.
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Two weeks later, Rebecca passed away quietly in her sleep. Althea and Simon were both sitting by the bed. He felt her pulse then turned to Althea, his gaze unreadable. She felt for herself. Gently she laid Rebecca's arm across her chest, knowing the little girl was no longer there with them. She slipped out of the room, leaving Simon alone with his daughter's body. She didn't know whether Rebecca had had a chance to say goodbye to her father or to tell him about her experience. She had been unconscious more than conscious in those days following her baptism.
Althea sent for Dr. Roseberry, and after she accompanied him up to Rebecca's room, she left him with Simon and went to inform the servants.
By nightfall, Simon's family had descended upon the house. She had no idea where Simon was, but assumed he was behind his closed library door. She helped prepare rooms for the family members that would be staying. She learned from his sister that
the funeral would be the next day and that the family would spend a week at the house, sitting
shiv'ah,
observing the mourning period, during which time they would not leave the house and would spend the mornings and evenings reciting the mourning prayers.
Simon's mother and the eldest of the two sisters came at once and readied the house. They covered all the mirrors and brought low wooden stools on which the mourners would sit in the coming days.
A special group of people took charge of Rebecca's body for the ritual bathing and dressing in a shroud before it was laid in the plain wooden casket, which contained no metal fastenings of any sort. A special watch was kept over the casket until the time of interment.
Althea sent word to her brother and his wife about the funeral. She discovered that regardless of Simon's religious beliefs, or lack of them, his family had determined that his daughter would have a full Jewish funeral with all the rites observed.
Seeing she had little to do, Althea cleared out her things from her bedroom and made it available to Simon's mother and father. She spent the night upstairs in the servants' quarters in order to accompany them to the funeral the following day.
The next day dawned clear and warm. Althea could see it would be another hot August day. Later that morning she stood with her brother and sister-in-law at the rear of the Jewish cemetery at Miles' End. Many people had come to the burial. Althea spied Colonel Ballyworth amid the mourners.
She watched as the simple wooden casket was lowered into the earth. Each of the family members covered it with a handful of earth. Then they tore at an article of their clothing. Most were wearing a black ribbon on their lapel especially made for the occasion.
As they left the cemetery, they washed their hands in a ritual cleansing ceremony. She noticed Simon did not participate in any of the rites. Althea had not spoken to him at all since Rebecca's death. He looked like a man turned to stone. All she could do was
to hold on to that conversation she had had with Rebecca and the promise that the Lord would not leave her father comfortless.
That night after the funeral the Lord gave her a Scripture: “A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quenchâ¦.” She could only trust that the Lord would not break that fragile reed that was Simon's hurting soul, nor put out the smoldering spark left in the man she loved.
She grieved for him, but could not help him. He was unreachable to any in those days, even to his own family. He didn't leave the library, and Althea felt powerless to do any more in his household. She stayed one more day, in order to be sure she was not needed in any way. That evening she bid each one of the servants downstairs goodbye. They cried and hugged her, and she promised to be by to see them at a later date.
She quietly packed her few dresses, the puppets she and Rebecca had made together, and a few other mementos, such as drawings, childish attempts at sewing, and a note Rebecca had written to Althea one day. As Althea wrapped them in a parcel she let the tears fall.
“Yes, I shall miss you, my sweetheart,” she whispered, looking at Rebecca's things.
Before leaving she did one last thing. Knowing she could not go into his library, and not knowing whom else to entrust her gift with, she finally went to Giles.
She handed him a Bible. “I would like you to give this to the master when you have an opportunity. I don't want to disturb him at present.”
Giles nodded, taking the book from her. As he did so, a folded paper fell out. Althea bent to retrieve it.