Winter's Dream (The Hemlock Bay Series) (16 page)

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Luka said sharply before turning on his heel and leaving the room.

Chapter Sixteen

J
ordan and I sat on
the stairs, him silent and me crying. When the tears finally dried I pushed him away and sat up on my own. He let me but kept my hand trapped in his.

“I have to figure something out,” I finally said. “I’m not staying here just to … disappear in a few weeks. I can’t let that happen, not to me, not to Grandma and not to Linc.”

“We will figure something out,” he promised again.

I waited for him to say more but he stayed quiet and I realized he was just as clueless as I was on how to solve the curse.

“What about your uncle? Maybe he can help,” I asked.

Jordan looked at me curiously from the corner of his eye. “My uncle? You hate my uncle.”

“No, I don’t,” I protested.

He turned to face me, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Yes. You do. You said you did.”

I shrugged uneasily. “Well, I don’t feel that way anymore. And he’s a lot older than you and that guy that started this whole mess was his brother, so maybe he could help.”

Anger flashed in Jordan’s eyes. “So my uncle is allowed to help but I am not?”

I stood up from the stairs, brushing off my skirts. “Yep.”

He stood up as well and it took every ounce of will power not to step back from him. “And why is that?”

“Um, let’s see. He hasn’t technically lied to me and the help he gives is actually somewhat helpful and not just to get me out of a mess he created in the first place.”

Jordan opened his mouth in anger then slowly shut it. My eyes widened in surprise when he finally bowed his head with a little sigh.

“You’re right,” he said, his voice a low rumble. “I haven’t been fair or kind in how I have treated you. You have no reason to trust me. But please believe I never meant to hurt you and I won’t hurt you—or allow you to be hurt—now. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And if you … trust my uncle’s opinion more than mine, then I will gladly ask him for it.”

I stared at the top of his head, his dark curls gleaming and spilling forward and hiding his face. Even his shoulders were bowed down and I hesitantly reached out to touch his arm. “I would appreciate it.”

He nodded once but didn’t pick his head up. I waited for any other response but didn’t expect the one I got. “What did my uncle help you with?” he asked.

I crossed my arms over my chest, wondering if I should actually answer. “He took me to see my grandma.”

Jordan’s head snapped up at that. “I could have taken you,” he said, his voice almost accusatory. “I can help, you can trust me.”

I shook my head sadly. “No, I can’t.” I wanted to, I needed someone I could trust but Jordan had already proved he wasn’t the one.

Something like anger then determination flooded his face, smoothing his features into cold marble. “You will trust me. You will love me. I will win you back.”

His green eyes were burning into mine and I couldn’t look away. But being gorgeous and determined wasn’t going to win me over. If he didn’t know that, he didn’t know me at all.

“Ask your uncle what we can do,” I said, and fled up the stairs.

“Wait,” he called in a weak voice. “What about Luka?”

I tripped and banged my shin into one of the stairs. My dry tongue flicked around in my even drier mouth while I tried to think of an acceptable response. Finally I settled on, “What about him?”

The air behind me stirred before Jordan placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me around. “I saw how you were looking at him.”

“I was looking at him like maybe he could help me out of this mess.”

Jordan turned his sad face towards mine. “No, you were looking at him like he was important to you.”

His bald jealousy was ugly but not totally misplaced. Once again relying on my anger, I snapped, “The only thing important to me is getting out of here and helping Linc and my grandma. Don’t you know me at all? Didn’t all your years of spying give you a clue as to what motivates me?”

Jordan wasn’t dissuaded. “In all my years of spying I never saw you look at someone like that, except for me, before things … ended badly.”

I had somehow managed to hurt the two people that had managed to chain me up and even feel bad about it. Jordan’s stark pain and Luka’s retreat into ice hurt me almost as bad as knowing I had failed my own family. Almost.

I put a shaking hand over the one gripping my shoulder. “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I promised, “not even you. Especially not you. But I have to get out of here. And I’ll do whatever it takes to do that.”

Jordan’s face broke into a sad plea. “Then trust me, let me help you. Bixby, love me, I’ll do anything to make this right.” Tears shone in the corners of his eyes and I struggled to stop myself from wiping them away.

“I do love you,” I whispered. “But it’s not enough.”

He pushed his lips to mine faster than I could back away and promised against my mouth, “I’ll make it enough.”

I had no response that wouldn’t hurt the one person who had tried so mistakenly not to hurt me, so I turned and ran.

I had hoped to run straight up to my room to hide my burning face and sort out my conflicting emotions but of course I couldn’t find it. Halls seemed to repeat themselves and so did the stairways and doorways. Eventually I settled on finding the library or kitchen or front door and failed in that as well.

Wandering the main floor, I eventually saw something bright, almost warm looking far down a long hallway. I made my way toward it and found huge beveled glass doors arching high over head.

As quietly as I could, I pushed through them and was enveloped in bright, moist light. The scent was amazing, like fresh water and soil and green plants and as my vision adjusted to the brightness, I wasn’t surprised to find myself in a greenhouse. Raised flower beds marched down the middle and lower ones ran along the perimeter. Every available inch was covered in soil and beautiful, fragrant green plants grew and spilled out everywhere, some even climbing carefully placed lattices that hung from the ceiling.

High above the ceiling was beveled glass as well, gently turning down towards the glass walls. All the cut edges made rainbows sparkle everywhere.

A discreet cough interrupted my happy moment.

I whirled around to find Luka standing there with a pair of thick gloves and a small pair of shears. He held a green bunch of herbs in his hand.

“Can I help you with something?” he asked politely but flatly.

“I, um … No. I got lost,” I finally said. My cheeks flared so hot it made my eyes tear up again.

“The girls don’t usually come down here,” he said pointedly.

“Luka,” I drew out.

“Don’t,” he snapped. “I should have known it was you. He’s been crowing about you for years.”

“Well I didn’t know,” I snapped back. “So sorry I can’t just fit into this whole messed up fairy tale.”

“What do you want?” was his dull response.

I gave a rough, harsh laugh. “My life back.”

“Not possible,” he said and turned his back, effectively dismissing me. My heart ached. As much as I hated everything that had been to me and to my family, I didn’t want to hurt him. He had suffered enough. And there was something more, something I couldn’t even think about.

“So what do they usually do with their time here?” I asked, trying to engage him again.

“The girls? No idea.”

My jaw tightened and before I could do the smart thing and just leave, my mouth was talking for me. “You know, I realize now this isn’t your fault, but it isn’t mine either. Maybe you could try to help me figure this out and all of us annoying girls would stop parading in and out of your castle.”

He raised an eyebrow and twirled the bunch of herbs in his hand. “’Figure this out?’” he asked, slowly. “You have such a curious way of phrasing things. But I understand what you mean, so let me fill you in: there isn’t anything to ‘figure out.’ When the girl most like Miriam is finally brought to the castle by the curse, she will be bound to stay here forever with me—whether either one of us likes it or not. And that is only thing that will satisfy the curse. Until then, it will keep bringing the girls and it will keep taking them away to be replaced by the next one.”

His cool, calm tone was almost revolting. “So you don’t care at all what happens to us?” To me, I wanted to ask.

Luka closed the space between us with two steps. I didn’t know I had jerked back until the edge of one of the flower bed tables dug painfully into my lower back. “How many girls do you think I have said hello and good-bye to? I can’t even count anymore. Do you really think I don’t recognize each one as a young life snuffed out by the evil of my uncle? You think this doesn’t take its toll on me, that it doesn’t taint me to be constantly washed in such vileness?”

His face was only an inch from mine, completely illuminated with anger. If I had thought his eyes were blue before I was totally wrong. They were a steel grey, as glinty as the big lake before a storm. His tirade also wasn’t over. “This isn’t the life I wanted for myself. I didn’t want to be the evil that snuffed out all these human girls and I certainly don’t want to have to spend eternity tied to one that will most assuredly hate me. I’ve already lost—” he cut himself off and squeezed his eyes shut for what seemed like forever.

I waited warily, pinned between him and the table. When he finally opened his eyes they seemed bluer again and were filled with pain and remorse. “I’m sorry I can’t help you; please know I have tried everything to stop this curse.”

My mouth was dry and I licked my lips nervously. His sad eyes followed my tongue and sweat broke out on my brow. “I’m sorry I threw that statue at your head,” I finally whispered.

His eyes widened in surprise then he threw back his head and laughed. I cringed away from the booming and he finally moved back, letting me squeeze around him. He didn’t turn to watch me as I ran back to the entrance. “You’re a funny one,” he said. “Usually they’re too scared to be funny.”

He gave no hint at our previous closeness. There was no relenting of his icy demeanor so I did the best I could and gave a weak smile before fleeing the room.

“Your room is up the staircase to your right, last room on the left,” he called, his voice chasing me down hall.

I raced to it and slammed the door behind me, pulling in shuddery gasps as I slipped to the floor. What the hell had just happened? My thoughts kept going to Jordan and Luka, Luka and Jordan. They should have been centered on Grandma and Linc, but the tidal wave of the two cousins kept pulling me in.

The sun slowly crossed the windows as I sat in front of the door, trying to process everything that had happened. It seemed like forever since I had even thought of Grandma and Lincoln, wondered how they were doing, wondered where Linc even was. Everything was supposed to be about them and keeping them safe and getting us all back together as a family and somehow I had just ended up even deeper in Jordan’s world, even more tightly entangled.

I couldn’t even properly call the situation a nightmare because I preferred my nightmares to this. It felt like a barren, desolate dream, a winter’s dream.

Knocking on the door behind me startled me out of my morbid thoughts.

“Are you in there?” Emma asked through the thick door.

I stood up to let her in, trying to school my emotions and hide my fear and sadness. She looked me up and down once then reached out to squeeze my hand. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I forced the corners of my mouth up. “It’s all right. What did you need?”

“It’s time for dinner. I was hoping you were hungry. And there is another one here,” she added in a whisper. “Another one of them.”

At that I really did smile. “It’s okay, it’s David. He’s here to help.”

Emma looked at me warily. “How do you know?”

“Because he doesn’t want me around. He’d do anything to send me back to my world and keep me there,” I said, actually glad for his animosity.

“Don’t know if that’s anything to be smiling about,” she muttered as she set about helping me get cleaned up and dressed.

My slightly improved mood lasted only until we got to the dining room. Emma directed me to my chair—opposite of David and between Jordan and Luka on either end. Having to actually sit down at a table with all of them was nothing short of terrifying.

A servant in black held my chair out for me and I took it slowly. All three sets of eyes watched me walk around the table and take my chair. Jordan’s green eyes were disturbingly bright with determination, Luka’s were back to a disinterested blue and David’s one good eye was more curious than angry. One day I would ask him what had happened to his other milky eye. Yeah, right.

“Bixby, Jordan has told me why you wanted me here and I’m sorry to say I can’t help you,” David said even before my chair was all the way slid in.

“Can’t or won’t?” I asked pointedly.

His mouth twitched up into a smile for a second before smoothed his features again. “There isn’t anything to break this curse, it must be fulfilled.”

Servants moved around the table filling our plates. They might as well have been dishing out dog crap for all I cared. “But he was your brother, right? You have to know something about the curse, some flaw in it or—”

“There’s nothing,” he said gently. “I’m sorry.”

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes but I was nowhere near ready to admit defeat. Turning to Luka, I asked, “In all this time no girl has ever escaped? No one ever got out of being led into the woods to get slaughtered or drowned in the lake or whatever horrible thing happens?”

He paused his mechanical chewing and wiped his mouth with a napkin. Even eating potatoes he was hot.

“There was one that managed to escape that fate—”

“Yes! I knew it!” I cried, a triumphant grin taking over my face. I saw David shaking his head at Luka from the corner of my eye but I waved him on. “So how did she do it?”

“She killed herself.”