Winter's Kiss (23 page)

“Mikael has requested your presence,” she said in a quiet voice. Her dark eyes met Nika’s and she smiled.

Nika smiled back at her, wanting to ask her what was wrong. She had to be ill. She hadn’t realised that a werewolf could end up looking this way. She had thought that werewolves and vampires couldn’t get ill or at least that it wouldn’t change their appearance so dramatically. The vampires that guarded the mansion gates had never looked like this. Winter looked healthy. His wounds from the fight in the woods were gone. Surely the female werewolf should have healed in a similar fashion. But then, Winter didn’t eat food or need to drink or even do other human things. Perhaps werewolves and vampires were very different after all. Perhaps her kind could get sick and take a long time to heal.

“I have arranged for food and wine to be waiting for you in the main drawing room.” The woman continued and then her gaze fell to Nika’s feet. Nika shuffled uncomfortably. The woman gave another hesitant smile. “I will wait while you finish dressing.”

Nika bit her lip and looked at Winter. His hand had remained on his sword. Did he think that the woman was a threat to them? She seemed friendly enough. It was nice to finally find someone in the castle that wasn’t acting strangely towards them.

“Thank you,” she said to the woman and the woman bowed.

When she rose again, the woman’s eyes dropped to Nika’s neck. The smile disappeared. Darkness narrowed her eyes and she raised her chin. Confusion filled Nika as the woman glared at her, suddenly as cold as ice and as distant as stars.

The woman turned sharply and walked away, disappearing beyond the curtains.

Nika looked at Winter. Had it been his fault that the woman had changed so dramatically? He still had his hand on his sword. Perhaps the woman saw him as a threat.

“There are those on the werewolf side that believe vampires and werewolves should not have relations, even though the master of this house is a werewolf and the mistress is a vampire.” He stroked her neck, his caress so light it tickled and sent waves of pleasure tingling through her.

The marks. Winter’s marks. The woman’s attitude towards her had changed when she had seen the marks on her neck. Winter was right and Nika suddenly had the feeling that this was why he hadn’t wanted to bite her. He had known that some of the werewolves would react badly to her wearing a vampire’s marks.

She told herself that she didn’t care, even when it cut her to the bone to be treated so coldly because of her love for Winter.

Winter had said that the mistress of this place was a vampire. Now that he had mentioned it again, it had sunk in. She stared at the empty doorway, a frown fixed on her face. The people who owned this place were a vampire and a werewolf.

Her gaze shifted to Winter.

If they were together, then why couldn’t she be with
Winter?

He walked into the building and she followed him in silence, lost deep in her thoughts. When he stopped outside the bedroom, she went in and put her
boots
on. Walking out again, she noticed that the woman was waiting at the end of the corridor, as far away from Winter as possible. Or was that as far away from them? Nika couldn’t understand why the woman had frowned upon her relationship with Winter. The woman didn’t even know them. It wasn’t her place to judge them without knowing them first. What did it matter if he was a vampire and she was a werewolf?

The woman turned away and Nika frowned when she noticed the scarring across the back of her neck—thick raised bands. There was a bird shaped mark below it on her spine. Nika looked at Winter when he touched her cheek, his skin cool against hers, his caress tender.

The door at the end of the hall clicked shut. The woman’s signature dulled. Nika continued to stare into Winter’s deep blue eyes, trying to discern what he was thinking.

“What happened to her?” she whispered. The woman looked ill. She suspected that someone had held the woman in captivity for a long time. She didn’t want to think that this was what a compound did to a werewolf, but she would believe it if Winter said it was so.

“Something I will never allow to happen to you.” He went to leave but she caught his wrist and held it tight. He looked back at her. “If I had been any other bloodline, she would not have reacted so badly to you wearing my marks.”

“The mark on her back…” She couldn’t say the rest. The thought that someone had branded the woman as though she were an animal made Nika’s insides churn and a strange concoction of anger and fear surge through her. Winter’s lord had joked about sending her to the compound. They would have branded her and forced her to wear a collar. She would have become someone’s property.

“It is the mark of my kin,” Winter said without a trace of feeling and then brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheek. “There will be many here who wear the mark and hate my bloodline, but I hope you will never be one of them.”

She looked up at him and, to her horror, realised that he could sense her feelings of anger and fear. Her mouth opened but she had no excuse or explanation. The sight of a woman wearing a mark of ownership and ill looking from her captivity had angered her. The thought that it could happen to her had sent fear into her heart. She covered Winter’s hand with hers and forced it against her cheek as she closed her eyes.

“I don’t hate your kind, Winter,” she whispered against his wrist and pressed a kiss to it. “I fear the compound.” Opening her eyes, she looked up into his. “She’s so sick and scarred. I hadn’t imagined they would be so terrible. Your lord joked about the place, and I don’t see how he could do such a thing. What is there to laugh about in a compound? Or is he so proud of his species that slavery is a show of might to him?”

Winter snatched his hand away, leaving her feeling cold and bereft as his dark eyes bore into hers.

“Watch your words.” His tone was low and venomous, exactly how he had reacted when she had abused his

203

lord before. “You know nothing of Lord Hyperion or the world I
live
in.”

She flinched at the coldness of those words and the separation he had placed between them.

“You’re right. I know nothing of the world you live in and I don’t understand why you have to leave me and why we can’t be together. A few days ago, I was looking forward to life. I was looking forward to walking past you and maybe saying something in the foolish hope that you’d say something back. I thought you were just a guard. Now I’m in some strange world where I don’t know the rules and nothing makes sense, and the only person I can trust wants to leave me. I know nothing because you tell me nothing. You shut away your feelings so you don’t get hurt when you leave. Well, you might not… your heart might be ice… but mine isn’t. It still beats and it still bleeds whenever I think of you leaving.” She walked away from him, back towards the balcony. The light curtains danced around her legs and she stared out into the night. It was peaceful and the sky was clear. A million glittering diamonds shone against their velvet backdrop. There was no moon. She wished there was. It soothed her. She looked back at Winter. “I never wanted this life. I only wanted you.”

She turned and ran out onto the balcony.

“Nika!” Winter shouted.

She leapt onto the wall and stood as still as a statue, staring down at the river far below. All sense and reason left her at the sight of it. Holding her arms out, she steadied herself and watched the river thundering over the rocks. Her heart beat painfully hard. She was out of her mind. What the hell was
wrong
with her?

“Nika, come down,” Winter said and she looked over her shoulder at him.

He edged towards her, his hands outstretched. His beautiful dark blue eyes held such pain and confusion, so much fear. She felt as though she could read all his feelings in them at last. She could see them all, all those emotions that matched her own now that he was frightened. He loved, he feared, he hurt. He felt everything that she did, so why wouldn’t he stay with
her?
Why was he leaving?

“Am I immortal?” she said and blinked, sending hot tears rushing down her cheeks. The cold night breeze turned them icy. “Will I die if I fall?”

“Why would you want to die?” he whispered and took another step towards her.

“Sometimes people want to die, Winter. You said that yourself. What is there for me to live for?” She took a step forwards and the world wavered in front of her eyes, the height dizzying. “There’s nothing for me to live for. Will I die if I fall?”

“No, Nika. You will not die if you fall. I will not let you fall.”

“I don’t think you can stop me. If I jumped right now, you wouldn’t be quick enough.” Her heart thumped against her chest, pounding in her skull. What if she did fall? Did she really want to die? Was this all to punish Winter for leaving? If he stayed now, she would never know if he had remained with her out of guilt or love. Her head hurt and she closed her eyes and pressed her hands to her temples. She didn’t know what she was doing anymore. She wanted Winter to have to choose between her and his lord. She wanted him to love her.

“Then I would fall with you,” he said and she turned to look at him.

Her foot slipped. She shrieked, fell backwards and tried to grab the wall. Her fingertips grated over the rough weatherworn stone and then slipped off the edge. Adrenaline burst into her veins, making everything move in slow motion. She screamed as she began to drop and desperately tried to grab hold of something. She hadn’t wanted to fall. She didn’t want to die. Her heart leapt when someone grabbed her arms and she looked up at Winter where he crouched on the wall. His hands locked tight around her wrists. She gasped at air, panic stricken as she stared at the drop below her. Her legs dangled in thin air. The river looked so small beneath her now, hundreds of feet below and thundering in her ears.

“Fool,” Winter muttered and pulled her up as though she weighed nothing to him. He wrapped his arms around her and dropped safely to the ground. She buried her face into his neck and sobbed, her fear pouring out of her along with her strength. Her body trembled and her knees gave. Winter scooped her up so one of his arms was under her knees and the other supported her back. “Shh. I know you did not mean to fall. Wipe your tears, Nika.”

She sniffled and did as he had said, brushing the tears away with her palms
and
the back of her hands. She didn’t want to cry. She wanted to be strong again, wanted to be the woman that she had always been, not the weak one she had become these past few days. A deep breath spelled the end to her tears and her heart steadied, resolved to be strong at last. Calm slowly filled her and her mind settled. There were so many things that she wanted to ask him but her heart singled one out, one that he answered without her voicing the question.

“I would have fallen with you, Nika, if I had again failed to save you,” he whispered into her hair and pressed a kiss to it. “Though neither of us can die from such a height. I would have protected you and taken the impact for you.”

Nika closed her eyes and buried her face into his neck. She felt so stupid and confused, childish, and no longer in control of her feelings. They controlled her and she hated feeling weak, hated the thought that Winter might love her less because of it. She didn’t know what had come over her. Standing on the wall, she had been so frightened but she hadn’t been able to stop herself. She loved Winter, didn’t want him to leave, but knew in her heart that this wasn’t the way. She couldn’t force him to stay. She could only find the strength to trust that he loved her and that he would one day come back to her. It was hard to accept and made her heart ache, but she had to, even when she didn’t want to.

She took a deep breath and held him tighter, confused by her own feelings and his. His scent was so comforting even when his words brought her nothing but pain. He still blamed himself for what had happened to her. She had never blamed him. Her father had been the one to condemn her to this life, not Winter. He had been the one to save her.

“I’m sorry I shouted at you,” she muttered against his skin and breathed him in, savouring his smell of cool night air and the strength of his arms around her.

“You have every right to be upset.” “Am I immortal?” She hoped he would say no. “Will I live forever?”

With a sigh, he nodded. “Our species are not without vulnerability, but you could live for centuries.”

“Centuries?” She frowned. He had mentioned that before. He had said that she could live to be over one thousand years old, like he was. The thought of living for so long wasn’t a happy one. One thousand years of life without Winter, of living knowing that he was only two days ride away but not knowing where.

When they had slept together last night, she had managed to convince herself that he would stay with her, regardless of the law. In the cold light of night however, she was starting to realise that nothing she said or did would change Winter’s mind.

It hurt.

She didn’t want to mope about it, or act like a child, but it hurt to think that he was still going to leave her, after everything they had been through.

“Winter?” she whispered, not strong enough to raise her voice.

“Nika?” he said.

She wasn’t strong enough to find her voice at all. She looked up at him, right into his eyes, and her brow furrowed. Would he ever return to her? That’s what she wanted to ask him, but it seemed like a ridiculous question. He had offered her this time together but it still wasn’t enough. It only made the thought of an eternity without him hurt even more. It made her truly want to throw herself off the balcony, regardless of the fact he had said that she wouldn’t die. Perhaps he would stay then. If she were hurt, would he stay? In her desperation to keep him, she might go that far, she knew that.