Witch Is When the Bubble Burst (10 page)

“It doesn’t look good,” I said, once we were out of the cell.

Greaves nodded. “If you could find out who planted the phone, that would help.”

“Been to see your client?” Maxwell blocked our way. I hadn’t seen him until he spoke.

“Detective Maxwell—” I said.

“Haven’t you done enough damage?”

“I didn’t spook the kidnapper,” I said. “The drop-off at the bridge was just a decoy.”

“Save it. We’re done here.”

With that, he stood aside and let us pass.

Chapter 16

When Betty had asked about the podcast interview, I hadn’t realised she meant the next day.

“I have to go to a birthday party,” I said when she knocked on my door.

“What time?”

“Around midday.”

“That’s okay then. It shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

“But—I—err.”

“Thanks, Jill. You don’t know how much this means to me. Here!” She thrust several sheets of paper into my hands.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a list of the questions I want you to ask me. Come on, everything is set up in my spare bedroom.”

“I haven’t even brushed my hair yet.”

“Haven’t you? I can’t tell. Come on.”

Betty’s flat was white. Very white. I hardly dared step inside in case I left a mark on the white carpet.

“Come through. We’re in here!”

The spare bedroom actually looked like a small recording studio. Tax inspectors must be well paid for her to be able to afford all of that kit.

“I didn’t realise you needed all of this for a podcast.”

“You don’t really. A microphone and a laptop would probably have done the trick, but if you’re going to do something, do it well.”

Betty took control. I sat at one side of the white desk, she sat opposite me. There were two microphones—one for her and one for me.

“Right,” she said, pressing keys on the laptop on the desk in front of her. “I’ll do the introduction, and then you can start the interview. Okay? Ready?”

I took a deep breath. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Remember to speak clearly.”

I gave her the thumbs up.

“Welcome to Betty’s Sea Shell Podcast. I’m Betty Longbottom, and I’ll be your host every week. For this first edition I’ve invited Jill Gooder, a local celebrity, to interview me.”

Betty pointed to me and mouthed the words, “You’re on.”

Local celebrity, eh? I was beginning to warm to this.

“Betty Longbottom. Why don’t you start by telling the listeners how you became interested in sea shells?”

“Thank you, Jill. That’s a very interesting story.”

It wasn’t. Trust me on that one. It was, however, a very long story. So long, I’d almost nodded off by the time I realised she’d finished, and was waiting for the next question.

“Thank you for that Betty. Very interesting.” What? I was reading from the script. “What are your top ten favourite seashells?” I burst into laughter.

Betty pressed the pause button and gave me a disappointed look. “Jill! Please! You have to take this seriously.”

“Sorry, sorry. I was just—sorry. I’m ready now.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded.

“Thank you for that, Betty what are—” I fell into hysterics.

It took me some time to catch my breath. Betty was staring at me, stony-faced.

And that was pretty much the pattern for the rest of the interview. Ninety minutes later, and it was a wrap.

“Was that okay?” I asked as she showed me to the door.

“It will need a lot of editing.”

“Sorry about the—you know—sorry.”

“Thanks, bye.”

Something told me my career as co-anchor on Betty’s Sea Shell Podcast was at an end.

***

I was absolutely thrilled to find Grandma at Aunt Lucy’s when I arrived. Not!

“Look what the cat’s dragged in,” she said.

“Mother!” Aunt Lucy scolded. “If you can’t manage to buy me a card or a present, you could at least be polite to my guest.”

“Excuse me for breathing, I’m sure.”

I had to think of ice cream. Nothing but ice cream. Lovely ice cream sundaes. Chocolate, strawberry ice cream.

“What is wrong with everyone in this family?” Grandma sighed. “The only thing anyone thinks about is ice cream.” She turned back to Aunt Lucy. “So are you going to see to my bunions or not?”

“Not. I am not spending my birthday tending to your bunions.”

“Selfish.” Grandma grumbled. “No consideration for others. Oh, well. I might as well get off home.”

“Bye then,” we both shouted.

Aunt Lucy looked at me and shook her head. “That woman will drive me insane.”

“Happy birthday.” I handed her the card and gift.

“That’s very thoughtful of you.” She gave me a hug. “It’s nice to know you were thinking of me.”

“I take it Grandma forgot?”

“She always forgets. I’m only her daughter, after all. When she popped round, I thought for a moment maybe she’d remembered for once, but no.”

“Bunions?”

“Yeah. Apparently they’d been giving her gyp in the night. She also came around to have a moan about the Suppies.”

“What’s the Suppies?”

“It’s the annual red carpet awards ceremony for sups. Apparently she and two other level six witches have been nominated for induction into the Suppies Hall of Fame.”

“That sounds very prestigious.”

“It is. Most people would be thrilled.”

“Not Grandma, I’m guessing?”

“You guess right. She said the Hall of Fame is for
old
sups, and she does not consider herself to be old.”

“She’s ancient.”

“Don’t let her hear you say that for goodness sake.”

“So what happens? Will she refuse the nomination?”

“She’s just going to ignore it. Hopefully one of the other two will actually get the place. It wouldn’t go down well if she won and then turned it down. I’m going to try not to think about it.”

I’d assumed Aunt Lucy and I would go out for a walk by ourselves, but she seemed keen for us to take Barry with us. Did he know about the birthday party, I wondered? If he did, then the game would probably be up.

I needn’t have worried. Barry was way too excited at the prospect of going for a walk to worry about birthday parties.

I started towards the park where I usually took Barry, but Aunt Lucy grabbed my arm.

“Why don’t we go this way for a change? I know another lovely park with beautiful gardens.”

“Sure. Why not?”

As we walked, Aunt Lucy talked about Lester, and how his meetings with the specialist were helping to rebuild his confidence. They were both hopeful his magic powers would be fully restored within the year. Aunt Lucy also brought up the twins and their battle with Best Cakes. Everyone had to concede that Grandma’s marketing campaign was starting to pay dividends. I hoped that didn’t mean I’d have to wear that stupid cupcake outfit again.

“This is nice,” I said, as we stopped at the gates of the park.

“I want to run.” Barry pulled at the lead.

“Let him go,” Aunt Lucy said. “He’ll be okay.”

I wished I’d shared her confidence, but I’d spent too many hours chasing after him. Still, I had to keep her out of the house long enough for the twins to get everything set up. So, why not?

“There you go boy!”

Off he shot—who knew if I’d ever see him again?

Aunt Lucy took a deep breath. “Do you smell that?”

I did. The flower beds looked amazing. The colours and smells were intoxicating.

“That’s Jethro’s handiwork,” she said.

“The man who looks after your garden?”

“One and the same. This is his main job. He earns a little extra on the side by working for a small number of private clients.”

“You were lucky to get him.”

“The twins certainly think so.”

I looked at her, and she must have seen the surprise in my eyes.

“Did you think I hadn’t noticed how they ogle him?” She laughed. “They’re so obvious. The way they fawn all over him. It’s harmless though. Neither of them would do anything to jeopardise things with their fiancé. And after all, it doesn’t hurt to look. Jethro is serious eye candy.”

“Aunt Lucy?”

“What? I may be getting on, but I still have eyes in my head. Have you actually seen Jethro yet?”

I shook my head.

“Prepare yourself for a treat.” She pointed towards the far gate. Just in front of it, a shirtless man was working on the flower beds.

“Wow!” I said, and then had to remember to close my mouth.

“Wow, indeed. Now do you understand?”

Boy, did I understand. I thought Luther Stone was hot, but this guy was sizzling.

“I’ll introduce you.” Aunt Lucy took my hand.

“No.” I pulled away.

“Why not?”

“I—err—we’d better find Barry. He could be anywhere.”

I didn’t trust myself around Jethro. I was only human after all. Wait, that’s not right. But you get the gist.

I eventually tracked Barry down. He was at the boating lake. On a boat.

“Barry!”

He held up a paw—presumably waving at me. Judging by the way his tail was wagging, he was enjoying his nautical excursion.

“Is that your dog?” A man short on teeth, but not on belly, shouted at me.

“Yeah. That’s Barry. Why is he in a boat?”

“That’s a very good question. Why is he in a boat? These are my boats, and he hasn’t paid.”

“He’s a dog.”

“So? Same fare for everyone.”

“But how did he even get into the boat?”

“He jumped in it after the last punters climbed out. It had drifted off before I could grab it.”

“Can you get him back?”

“Me?” He laughed. “Your dog, your problem.”

“But how am I meant to get to him?”

“I have boats for hire.”

“But I don’t want to sail around the lake. I just want to rescue my dog.”

“Same difference. Ten pounds, please.”

“That’s outrageous.”

“That’s for two boats. Five pounds each.”

“You’re charging me for the dog?”

“He’s in a boat isn’t he?”

“Yes, but—”

“He’s on the lake isn’t he?”

“Yes but—”

“That’ll be ten pounds, please.”

I glanced back at Aunt Lucy. At least I seemed to have cheered her up—she was grinning from ear to ear.

“How do I work this thing?” I shouted to the man once I was in the boat.

“See them two long wooden things? They’re called oars. Grab hold of them, and move them backwards and forwards in the water.”

There was no need for sarcasm.

I hadn’t realised rowing a boat could be so difficult. I’d gone back and forth, this way and that—unable to control the direction. In the meantime, Barry’s boat had drifted back to shore and he’d jumped out. When I gave up through exhaustion, the owner was forced to come out onto the lake himself, throw me a line, and tow my boat back to shore.

What felt like hours later, Aunt Lucy helped me out of the boat.

“That will be another fiver,” All belly and no teeth said.

“What for?”

“Having to come out and rescue you.”

I would have argued, but I’d already drawn a large crowd who were chatting and laughing among themselves.

Aunt Lucy couldn’t stop laughing.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay. And anyway, it is your birthday. You deserve a laugh.”

“I’d almost forgotten about my birthday. I’ll be glad when it’s over. Are you okay? You looked terrified out there for a while.”

“I’m fine.” I turned to Barry. “No thanks to you.”

“I like boats,” Barry said. “Can we come here again?”

As we walked out of the park, I glanced over to the far gate.

Aunt Lucy must have caught my gaze because she laughed. “Looking for Jethro?”

“Who? Oh, Jethro. No, I’d forgotten all about him. I was just admiring the flowerbeds.”

“Of course you were, dear. Of course you were.”

Chapter 17

Aunt Lucy kept giggling to herself, and then apologising, all the way back to her house. I couldn’t blame her; only I could get myself into such a mess—with Barry’s help that is. If nothing else, it had lifted her out of the funk she’d been in when I arrived. Now I just had to hope the twins had done their stuff. As we reached the door, there were no sounds or signs of life inside.

“Come on in, Jill. We’ll have a nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. It’s my birthday, so I’m going to push the boat out.” She laughed.

Everyone was a comedian.

“Surprise!” A dozen voices yelled. Party poppers cracked, and silly string covered Aunt Lucy, me and Barry. I hated that stuff.

“You!” Aunt Lucy beamed. “I should have known.”

“Happy birthday, Mum!” The twins rushed over to hug and kiss their mother.

She kissed them both.

“Happy birthday, Lucy.” Lester came over and gave her a kiss.

The table was full of food: sandwiches, snacks and more cakes than I’d ever seen in one place.

“Champagne!” Amber held the bottle aloft, and then popped the cork.

Everyone cheered, and sang ‘happy birthday’ while the champagne was poured.

“To Mum,” Pearl raised her glass. “Happy birthday!”

“Happy Birthday!” echoed around the room.

An hour later the party was in full swing. Music I’d never heard before, blasted out of the speakers and most people were dancing—if you could call it that.

“What’s all this noise?” Grandma had made an appearance. “I was trying to get my beauty sleep.”

Beauty sleep? She’d need to sleep for a million years for it to have any effect.

“It’s a party, Mother,” Aunt Lucy said. “For my birthday? You remember that don’t you? You were there at the time.”

“No one told me about a party. Typical.”

“Well you’re here now,” Aunt Lucy sprayed silly string over Grandma. She was way braver than me. “Why don’t you help yourself to a drink?”

“Well, seeing as how I’m never going to get any sleep, I might as well. Mind you, what I really fancy is an ice cream. For some reason I can’t stop thinking about them.”

Pearl, Amber, Lester and me all had to look away.

By midnight, everyone was beginning to flag—except Grandma, who was still rock ‘n’ rolling.

“How does she do it?” Amber asked.

“She must be taking something.” Pearl flopped down next to us. “It isn’t natural.”

“You youngsters!” Grandma came dancing over to us. “You just don’t have the stamina.”

“I’m going to bed,” Amber said.

“Me too.” Pearl started to follow her.

“Looks like you need to.” Grandma cackled. “Oh, and by the way. I forgot to mention, I’ve rescheduled your next lesson. It’s tomorrow morning at eight o’clock sharp.”

***

The next morning, the three of us looked as bad as each other. My head felt like it would explode at any moment.

Barry came rushing into my room. “Walk, I want to go for a walk.”

“Forget it. Aunt Lucy will take you later.”

“Walk!”

“Hush. My head hurts.”

He turned and walked away, sulking.

“Do you think Grandma was serious about a lesson this morning?” I said, more out of desperation than hope.

“Of course she was serious.” Amber was holding a wet flannel to her forehead.

“I reckon she’s doing it out of revenge.” Pearl swallowed a couple of painkillers. “Did you hear what she said about the ice cream? I think she knew we’d been blocking our thoughts. That’s why she’s doing this.”

“What would happen if we didn’t show up?” I blinked my eyes to try to lessen the double vision.

“Do you really want to find out?”

I didn’t. Bad as I felt, I knew the punishment for not showing up would be far worse.

***

Grandma had left word that we should meet her at the Spell-Range. We must have looked a sorry sight as we made our way there in almost total silence.

“Well, if it isn’t the Terrific Three.” Grandma greeted us as we stepped inside the gates.

How did she look so fresh? I’d seen her knocking back the champagne like it was going out of style, and yet here she was looking as fresh as a daisy—a very ugly daisy, but a daisy nonetheless.

“Do you remember which spell we’re going to be practising today?” Grandma said.

Amber looked at Pearl. It was obvious neither of them had a clue.

“‘Tie up’,” I said.

“Well done. And I assume you have all been practising it as per my instructions?”

“The cake shop was extra busy this week,” Amber mumbled.

“That’s a no then is it?”

“Sorry Grandma.”

“What about you, Pearl?”

“The tea room was extra busy too.”

“Nought for two so far. Jill?”

Normally, I made a point of spending extra time on the spells which Grandma said she’d cover in the lesson. This week though I hadn’t had the chance because of the kidnapping case.

“Sorry, Grandma. I’ve been rather tied up.”

I swear I hadn’t realised what I was saying until the words were already out of my mouth. Amber and Pearl looked at me as though I’d lost my mind. I had a horrible feeling I was about to lose much more than that.

“A comedian, eh?” Grandma fixed me with her evil eye.

“No, I—err—I didn’t—”

“Well, seeing as how none of you have bothered to put in any practise, I’ll demonstrate the spell for you.”

I saw Amber and Pearl sigh with relief, but I had a bad feeling about this.

Grandma closed her eyes, raised her hand and the next thing I knew all three of us were lying on the ground—bound from head to toe with rope.

“Grandma!” Pearl shouted. “Untie us. We’re sorry.”

“Sorry, what did you say?” Grandma put a hand to her ear. “I’m going a little deaf.”

“Please,” Amber shouted, as Grandma began to walk away.

“I have a date,” I called after her.

It took us ages to get untied. We called for help, but no one was prepared to come to our assistance for fear of what Grandma might do to them. Only by rolling next to one another and pulling at the knots with our teeth, did we eventually free ourselves.

“I have to run,” I shouted, already headed for the gates.

I’d arranged to meet Drake in a coffee shop close to the park where we first met. I had planned to go home after the lesson to get tidied up and changed.

***

“You really shouldn’t have made such an effort.” He laughed when I walked through the door. I pulled a leaf from my hair, and brushed dry mud from my jeans.

“Sorry. I had to come straight from the Spell-Range. Blame Grandma.”

“Have you been upsetting her again? I thought you knew better than to do that.”

Drake had finished his first drink, so he ordered a top-up and I had a flat white with two shots. I was still struggling to get going after the celebrations of the night before.

“I’m sorry I’m such a wreck,” I said. “It was Aunt Lucy’s birthday yesterday, and the champagne was flowing a little too freely.”

He smiled. “It’s good to see you again. I wasn’t sure if I ever would.”

“I’m sorry about that. I behaved badly.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t okay. I should at least have listened to your side of the story.”

“My main concern right now is Raven. He’s fallen in with a bad lot, and I’m worried what it might lead to. He’s not a bad kid. He’s just misguided.”

“He must think a lot of you to come looking for me, and put me straight about your imprisonment.”

“I had no idea he’d done that. Like I said before, I don’t even know where he is, but at least now I know he’s alive.”

“I’ll be happy to help you to find him. But only if you want me to.”

“I’m desperate to find him, and I’m sure you could help. I don’t want to put you in danger though.”

“I’m a big girl. I can look after myself.” I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window. “Except when it comes to Grandma, obviously.”

We laughed.

Just then my phone rang. It was Daze.

“Sorry, I have to take this.”

Drake nodded.

“Where? When? Right now? I’m not really—okay, I’ll be there.” I ended the call, and turned back to Drake. “I’m really sorry, but something urgent has come up.”

“That’s okay. We’ll catch up later.”

***

I cast a spell, and focussed on the Washbridge address which Daze had given to me. I wasn’t on my ‘A’ game so landed unceremoniously in a hedge next to the bench where Daze was sitting.

“Nice landing.” She laughed. “What on earth happened to you?”

“It’s a long story which involves Grandma and a length of rope. I’ll tell you some other time.”

Daze gave me the lowdown on the Rogue she was out to retrieve. Her target today was a little old lady who ran a sweet shop on the outskirts of Washbridge. I left Daze on the bench while I wandered casually across the road and peered in through the window. It was one of those shops which sold sweets from jars. It had a feel of the fifties and sixties—an era I had an affinity with. I was tempted by the sherbet dip, but that would have been unprofessional.

“Are you sure about this?” I said when I got back to Daze. “She looks like a lovely old lady.”

“Of course she does. That’s the whole point. If she looked like your grandmother, do you think any kids would go into her shop?”

Good point.

“So what’s the plan?”

“Did you see the notice next to the door? It says
‘free sweets today for kids under five'
. That’s how she gets them inside.”

I hadn’t seen it. I’d been distracted by the sherbet dip. “What about their parents?”

“If a kid goes in with his parents, he gets the free sweets. It’s the kids that go in by themselves who are in trouble.”

“Surely no kids under five would be out by themselves?”

“You’d be surprised. And besides, do you think kids who are six, seven, eight or even older wouldn’t try it on? Of course they would. She prefers them young, but she’ll take them any age below teens.”

This sounded like the stuff of nightmares. I was still finding it hard to believe it of the sweet little old lady I’d seen behind the counter. Maybe Daze had been given bad info.

“Look!” Daze pointed to a small boy looking at the notice in the window. “He’s going in.”

I didn’t need telling twice. I cast the ‘invisible’ spell followed by the ‘faster’ spell. I managed to reach the door just in time to sneak in after him.

“It says free sweets,” the little boy said.

“So it does, sweetheart,” the old lady said. “Would you like some?”

He nodded.

“Of course you would. Come with me. The free sweets are all in the back.”

“Can’t I have some of these?” He pointed to the liquorice torpedoes.

“Not those. The free sweets are much nicer than those. Come with me, let me show you.”

As soon as he’d taken her hand, she dragged him into the back of the shop. I followed, and noticed her face had transformed from sweet old lady to wicked witch with acne. The witch hit a red button on the wall, and a huge door opened in front of her. The heat from the oven hit me in the face.

“Let me go!” the little boy screamed as she dragged him towards the oven. “I want my Mummy!”

I slammed the oven door closed, grabbed the boy’s other arm and then pushed the witch to the ground.

“I’ll kill you!” she screamed as she got back to her feet. “Your invisibility won’t save you.” She cast a spell, which must have somehow reversed my invisibility because the boy was staring at me in disbelief.

“There’s plenty of room in the oven for you too!” She threw herself at me. I turned my back to her, sheltering the boy as best I could. I braced myself for the impact, but it never came.

“Let me out!” she screamed.

I turned to see the witch struggling to get free of Daze’s net, but it was too late. She disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

The boy was inconsolable. He’d never get over this unless—

“There you go.” I gave him a bag full of liquorice torpedoes. The ‘forget’ spell had wiped the horrifying ordeal from his memory.

“Thanks for your help, Jill,” Daze said.

“No problem. I’m sorry I doubted you. She just looked so sweet.”

“The worst ones always do.”