With Abandon: With or Without, Book 3 (19 page)

Sitting down, Matt watched his mate for a clue to his mood. How mad was he? Aubrey’s blank expression wasn’t promising. Matt was beginning to realize that unnaturally calm facade hid a volatile temper. “I’m sorry.”

“Why’re you sorry?” Aubrey knelt in front of him and dabbed at his lip where Boskie’s fist had connected. “You did the right thing. Carson wouldn’t have been able to hold Boskie off.” For a split second he let the unemotional pretense slip, and there was a softening around his eyes and mouth. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it eased Matt’s mind a little.

Matt racked his brain for something to say. The silence was strained because of their argument. He normally had comfortable silences with Aubrey. “I was waiting outside the restrooms for Ashley, and I heard Carson. I recognized his voice and went to have a look. Boskie had him pinned up against the far wall. I think he was trying to kiss him. Carson was terrified of him and—”

“It doesn’t matter now.” Tossing the washrag onto the desk, Aubrey tipped Matt’s chin up and went to his knees in front of him. “It’s healed. Does it still hurt?”

Matt shook his head.

“Good.” Aubrey just knelt there staring at him, still holding his chin.

Matt wanted to squirm under the scrutiny but didn’t dare. He had no idea how to act or what to say. He wanted their comfortable and easy relationship back. They hadn’t spoken since they left the apartment several hours ago, and Matt still didn’t know what to think about it. He didn’t like the idea of lying, but he liked the idea of Aubrey being mad at him even less. How pathetic was that?

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Matt nodded.

“Sugar, you’re sumthin’ else.” Wrapping his arms around Matt’s waist, Aubrey kissed him.

Matt froze. Aubrey wasn’t still upset with him?

Aubrey trailed kisses down his chin. He tugged loose Matt’s tie and nipped his neck.

Matt cupped the back of Aubrey’s head. Should he push him away or hold him closer? If he could make this evening disappear, he would. “Should we do this? I mean here? What if—?”

“Shh…” Aubrey touched Matt’s lips with the tip of his finger. “It’s okay. I locked the door.” He rested his head against Matt’s chest for several long seconds, just holding him close.

It was awkward at first, but Matt hugged back. Maybe things would be okay. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on the top of Aubrey’s head, inhaling the coconut smell of shampoo and the underlying scent that was Aubrey. He wanted to stay like this forever. The feel of his mate in his arms was reassuring. If Aubrey was hugging him, then they were okay. Right?

Aubrey loosened his hold and began fumbling with Matt’s jacket. After getting it undone and open, he pushed the vest up out of the way and unfastened the pants.

“What are—?”

Aubrey tapped his hip. “Lift.”

“Huh?” Matt raised his butt off the seat. “What are—?”

Aubrey fumbled with the fastening on Matt’s pants. He gripped Matt’s cock with one hand and shoved his pants and underwear around his thighs.

“Uh.” The scent of Aubrey’s arousal slammed into Matt, making his cock harden in Aubrey’s hand.

Aubrey’s mouth closed over his dick.

“Ohmigod. What’re you doing?” Matt stared down at Aubrey’s blond head and wide shoulders. He couldn’t believe Aubrey was doing this here. But then his body took over and he decided he didn’t care when, where or how. He laid his head back on the chair and stared up at the ceiling. Would it always feel this incredible? Would this always make his brain cease to function?

As if in answer, Aubrey went all the way down till his lips touched the base of Matt’s cock.

The sensation sent Matt reeling. His balls pulled tight, and his back arched off the seat, trying to get closer. He gripped the arms of the chair to keep from melting into a puddle at his mate’s feet.

Aubrey used his hand and mouth to drive Matt crazy. He sucked, swirling his tongue around the head a few times, and squeezed with his hand. His other hand gripped Matt’s hip, and his thumb rubbed over Matt’s hipbone. Back and forth he caressed in time with his mouth. He made a little humming noise of approval.

Matt was drunk off the earthy smell of his mate’s arousal and those hot lips dragging up and down his cock. His canines shifted so abruptly they pierced his bottom lip. Oddly the pain did nothing to stifle the intense pleasure. He was close to coming, and he tried to distract himself with something…anything. He wanted this to go on forever, but his brain couldn’t come up with a single thing to transfer his focus from his dick. Opening his eyes was a huge mistake.

With his lips stretching around Matt’s cock, Aubrey met his gaze.

Matt braced himself, still trying to hold back, but it was no use. His orgasm washed over him like a tidal wave. He stared into those beloved eyes and sank deeper and deeper. Sensation after sensation buffeted him, making him tense up. His balls emptied into Aubrey’s loving mouth in a gush, but Aubrey never even blinked. He just kept milking Matt’s cock with his lips and tongue.

Matt couldn’t look away. The intimacy connected him to his mate. Whatever it took he couldn’t lose this. He touched Aubrey’s cheek.
I love you.
He didn’t say it aloud. He didn’t know how Aubrey would take the declaration, and he couldn’t accept anything other than the same declaration in return, even if it was only between them.

Aubrey squeezed his eyes tight and let Matt’s cock slip from his mouth. He rested his head on Matt’s thigh. His breath came in rough pants and a strangled groan. The scent of sex lingered around him.

The thought that Aubrey wouldn’t return those words scared him worse than the prospect of having to lie about his sexuality.

Slowly, Matt’s canines and eyesight morphed back to human. A little more in control, he ran his fingers through his mate’s silky-soft hair. “What about you? Why don’t you trade me places?”

Aubrey shook his head. “No time. Tee and Ashley should be done getting Carson settled into his room by now.” Aubrey stood and kissed him on the lips. “We have to go.”

The taste of himself on Aubrey’s lips reminded Matt of the sweet feel of his mouth minutes ago, and he wanted to stay right where they were.

“Sugar, you moaning like that is not the best way to get rid of my hard-on.” Aubrey grabbed his cock, rearranging it with a little moan of his own.

Oh wow, that was a nice sight. Matt’s stomach tensed, and he was sure if he hadn’t just come his brains out, he’d have gotten hard again. “But—” Matt reached for Aubrey, wanting to make him feel good too.

“No buts. Come on, darlin’.”

Matt groaned, knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere. Aubrey had already made up his mind. That decisiveness was sexy. It was one of the things he’d come to admire about his mate, but at the moment he wished Aubrey was less resolute.

Aubrey grabbed Matt’s arms and hauled him up. He kissed him as he pulled Matt’s underwear and pants up. When Matt took over, Aubrey began redoing Matt’s tie. “You can make it up to me when we get home.”

Chapter Fourteen

Aubrey found the Ducati easily. There were other motorcycles, but the Duc stood out. It really was a sharp-looking bike. One of his better purchases if he said so himself. He should’ve brought the extra helmet and had Matt take him to lunch on it.

Running his hand along the pearl tank, he marveled at the beauty before throwing his leg over and taking a seat. Oh yeah, a ride was long overdue.

Speaking of overdue… He checked his watch again. Matt should be here any minute.

He needed to figure out what he was going to say to Matt. Last night they’d gotten home so late they’d gone to bed, and he’d pretended sleep to keep from having to talk. Thinking back on it, he winced. He owed Matt an apology, but he’d needed the time to wrap his head around what he’d experienced when Boskie had hit Matt. Aubrey had never felt so desperate and helpless.

A group of noisy students walked out to the parking lot toward him.

This morning he’d left before Matt had awakened, and now excitement tingled through him at the prospect of seeing his mate. How could you miss someone after only a few hours?

A warm, almost sweet scent had him searching the crowd. He’d know that smell anywhere.

Heading Aubrey’s way, Matt fiddled with his phone, probably texting Logan. Aubrey hoped Matt’s mom and dad weren’t fighting today. He wanted to slap them both upside the head for making Matt feel as miserable as they did the last time. Come to think of it, Logan deserved to get knocked around a little too for telling Matt about it.

Matt walked right past a group of girls who stopped to watch him, completely unaware of their appreciative glances. Aubrey couldn’t blame them. His mate definitely required a double take. It was a quandary how someone as handsome as Matt could be so completely oblivious to the fact. Grinning ear to ear, Aubrey swung his leg back over the bike and stood beside it, waiting for his mate to notice him.

Two yards later, Matt glanced up. His gaze swept right past Aubrey. It took only a second for him to jerk his attention back. When he did, his entire face lit up. “Hey!” Matt bounded toward him like an energetic puppy, all smile and wagging tail. Well, he would’ve wagged his tail if he were in wolf form. In his other form, Matt’s tail never stopped going. It was endearing as hell.

Pure joy filled Aubrey at that reception. How was it that just seeing Matt made him feel so alive and free? Aubrey leaned against his bike, waiting for Matt to close the distance between them. “Hey.”

“What’re you doing here?”

Aubrey chuckled. “I came to see if you wanted to have lunch with me.”

“Heck yeah.” Matt lifted his arms like he was going to throw them around Aubrey.

Aubrey wanted him too. He fought his own instinct to hold his own arms out.

Matt stopped very close—way into Aubrey’s personal space. He winced and gave a quick look around. “Sorry.”

“’S okay.” Aubrey was torn between disappointment and relief. He stepped to the side, away from the bike and temptation as he cleared his throat. “Come on, I parked a ways down.”

Bouncing, Matt fell in step beside him. “Cool. What do you wanna eat? I’ll buy.”

“I’m buying. I came to take
you
to lunch. I get to buy, that’s how it works.”

Matt frowned. “You always pick up the tab,” he grumbled.

Aubrey’s face was going to crack with all this smiling. “Yeah, and? You know you’ve already lost this argument, right?”

Matt snorted. “Hardhead.”

“Hey, Matt. Wait up.”

Aubrey and Matt turned in unison, bumping shoulders.
Who the hell is that?

A big guy, about six foot or so, jogged toward them. He was muscular and preppy with brown hair. Not a bad-looking guy, but not someone Aubrey would expect Matt to be friends with. This guy screamed popular, homecoming-king type. It wasn’t that Matt was a nerd or anything—okay, fine Matt was a little on the nerdy side sometimes.

“Oh shoot. I forgot I was supposed to have lunch with Jordan.” Matt waved to the guy, proving Aubrey’s nerd theory, and Aubrey smiled. “Hi, Jordan.”

Jordan cut his gaze to Aubrey, and his eyebrows lowered. The man smelled like wolf but not much else. It was odd. Odd enough that it garnered Aubrey’s undivided attention. People were rarely that unaffected by new meetings. Either Jordan was very unemotional or adept at hiding his responses. He didn’t seem strong enough to conceal his feelings, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. If one practiced enough, anything was possible.

As the guy approached, Matt introduced them. “Aubrey, this is Jordan. Jordan, this is Aubrey.”

“Nice to meet you.” Aubrey held out his hand, all his senses on alert.

Jordan looked at the offered hand for a few seconds before he shook it. He didn’t tilt his head in respect. “You too.”

To be fair, Jordan could be ignorant of wolf customs due to being newly changed or poor upbringing, but the rudeness set Aubrey’s teeth on edge.

“Hey, Jordan, mind if I skip going to the cafeteria with you today? Aubrey stopped by and asked me to have lunch with him.”

Jordan’s head swiveled to Matt, and a genuine smile curved his lips. His demeanor softened.

Ah-ha.
He wanted Matt. Aubrey should do something to indicate that he was not competition for Matt, just for appearance’s sake, but damn it, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He squelched the growl bubbling up inside him. No way would he encourage another man where his mate was concerned. Matt was his. Aubrey situated himself closer to his mate and swallowed down the bile trying to rise into his throat.

“No problem, man. We’ll grab lunch tomorrow.” Jordan gave Matt a friendly smack on the shoulder. Was it Aubrey’s imagination or was Jordan watching him out of the corner of his eye?

Aubrey did
not
like this Jordan character. Poaching bastard.

Matt didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. He bumped knuckles with the guy. “See you tomorrow.” Matt continued out to the parking lot.

Jordan headed in the opposite direction.

Jordan didn’t look back, like Aubrey half-expected him to.

“Aubrey? You coming?” Matt touched his arm.

“Yeah.” He turned toward where his car was parked. “Who is that?”

“Jordan? He’s in two of my classes. I met him the first day of school. Because we’re both wolves we hit it off. He’s a nice guy. He lives and breathes football, but since my own brother is the same way I can’t hold that against him.” Matt shrugged. “He’s fostering with the Atlanta pack while he’s here.”

“Ah.” Matt didn’t sound interested in the guy other than as a friend, so Aubrey let it go. He had more important things to discuss anyway. “About last night…”

Stopping, Matt gave his undivided attention. He swallowed hard, and the slight scent of unease surrounded him. “Yeah?”

“I wanted to apologize for the way I handled things. I should’ve asked you to keep quiet instead of jumping your case.”

Matt gave him a weak smile and nodded before he started walking again. “Where do you want to go for lunch?”

Well damn. That hadn’t gone exactly the way Aubrey would’ve hoped. He hurried to catch up with Matt, pointing to the car as he did so. “Mexican food?”

“Sure.”

He stopped Matt with a hand on his arm. “Matt? I can’t take it back. I’m sorry. I wish I could, but you know why I can’t. Things have to remain a secret.”

This time the smile Matt gave him was a little more certain. “I know. I’m not upset. I wish it could be otherwise, but I do understand. And it’s not like I normally go around telling people I’m gay or something.” His face softened, letting Aubrey know he really did understand, then his eyes took on a mischievous glint. “Race you.” He took off like a shot.

Aubrey laughed. No other man he knew would do something so carefree.

When Matt stopped next to a grayish-green Cadillac CTS, Aubrey laughed harder. In Matt’s defense the CTS was very similar to Aubrey’s Lincoln in appearance if you couldn’t rely on colors for identification. However, Aubrey was in his Caddie today and it was a totally different body style than the one Matt had gone to. It must be strange being color-blind. Talk about a pain not being able to easily distinguish your car from others or not knowing if your clothes matched.

Matt smiled. “What?”

Aubrey didn’t answer. Instead he hit the unlock button on his key fob and opened the car door. “I win.”

Groaning, Matt shook his head, but the amusement in his posture was hard to miss. Finally he chuckled and walked three cars back to the XLR. Tossing his backpack onto the passenger-side floorboard, he rolled his eyes. “Smart aleck.”

Aubrey was still smiling when he walked into work an hour and a half later. Lordy, he was full. Those enchiladas had hit the spot. He’d dropped Matt off at school so he could get the bike and go to Tara’s. If Aubrey could get his work done in time, he’d head over there himself. Tee was getting Matt to assist her in restoring her dad’s old Mustang. It was a neat car, and Aubrey wouldn’t mind helping.

As the elevator doors slid open, Carson came careening around the corner. His pale expression was the first thing Aubrey noticed. The scent of his fear was the second. He glanced past Aubrey, like he was looking for someone. Which was ridiculous, since they had the entire section of the floor to themselves. They had a private elevator, and the only other access was the stairwell a few yards down the hall. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Didn’t you get my text?”

“Yeah, but I was already on my way back. What’s going on?” Aubrey stepped off the elevator, and Carson fell into step beside him. Aubrey sniffed just to make certain they were alone. They were. There was a lingering scent of someone, a human he didn’t recognize, but no Boskie.

“This came for you.” Carson handed him a brown ten-by-thirteen-sized envelope as they reached Aubrey’s office.

Hmmm… “Who’s it from?” He turned the envelope over but there was no name. Tossing it on his desk, he walked around to his chair, still trying to figure out what had Carson spooked.

“I don’t know. I thought it was the specs for the new bar, and I opened it.” He bit his bottom lip, and the scent of fear surrounded him again. “It came by messenger.” Fidgeting from foot to foot, Carson’s gaze swept past Aubrey out the window. “I called to check on him five minutes ago, but it went right to his voice mail.” His gaze darted back and forth erratically. They were twenty floors up so his actions didn’t make sense. It put a fine point on his panic though. Carson was rattled.

Damn you, Boskie.
Taking off his jacket, Aubrey laid it over the back of his chair and rolled up his sleeves. Boskie had already come damn close to making this a pack problem, as well as a work one, when he attacked Matt. Aubrey had hoped the fierce warning would do the trick, but apparently it hadn’t. What a clusterfuck.

“Called who?” He sat in his chair and motioned for Carson to sit in the one on the other side of the desk.

“Matt.” Carson sat on the edge of the seat, his spine stiff.

“Matt is on his way to Tee’s. He’s on the bike so—” Goose bumps exploded onto Aubrey’s skin, and a shiver raced up his back. What did this have to do with Matt? He ripped the unsealed envelope in his haste to lift the reclosable flap.

Eight-by-ten black-and-white photos scattered across his desk. He tossed the torn envelope aside and spread out the pictures. A chill swept over him. There was one of Matt on the Ducati. Another one showed Matt in a lecture hall writing on a notebook. Spread before him were half a dozen pictures, most taken on the college campus. All of them featured Matt. Every last one of them appeared to have been captured with a telescopic lens and without Matt’s knowledge.

Aubrey’s head spun. If he hadn’t been sitting, he’d have fallen. It was all he could do not to let out a primal yell and start throwing stuff around. The pictures were threatening just because of the subject matter, but the last one disturbed Aubrey the most. He sat paralyzed with fear, clutching the photo in his shaking hands. The photo was of Matt lying on the floor of the apartment in his favorite spot by the dining-room table, looking out the window at the cars below. It would’ve made Aubrey smile if he’d taken it himself. This scene depicted one of his favorite sights when he came home from work. But seeing the homey scene like this scared him to death. The photographer had clearly studied Matt’s every move. The warning was clear, and Aubrey saw red.

Boskie had no idea who he was fucking with, but he was about to find out.

“So what’re you going to do with it when it’s done?” Matt dragged his hand along the front fender of the 1966 Mustang. The body was in good condition, but it needed a paint job.

Tara shrugged. “Don’t know. I’m going to try and drive it, but my dad may have other ideas about that.” She rolled her eyes, showing exactly what she thought of Jarred’s other ideas. “I had to kidnap it to work on it. My dad has been harping for years about how he’s going to restore it, but I got tired of waiting.”

“Whoa, wait a minute. Does Jarred know you have his car?” Matt didn’t want to get on Jarred Brandt’s bad side. Not only was he a heck of a nice guy, but when Aubrey had taken over the pack last weekend, he retained Jarred as his Beta. Matt was going to have to see the man and get along with him.