With the Headmaster's Approval (15 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

It was
nearly midnight when they drove home. After locking the Jeep in the garage Adam escorted Nicole to the main house. When she was safely inside he gave her a brotherly peck on the cheek and wished her goodnight, with a reminder. “Don’t forget about that talk, we’ll be looking forward to it.”

“I won’t.”

Her parents had left the lights on, but they were already asleep in bed. They knew she’d be safe with Adam, unlike some of the boys she’d dated who’d fallen short of their ideal and they wouldn’t go to bed until they’d seen the whites of her eyes. She made her way quietly upstairs suddenly feeling oddly let down.

She undressed and washed her face before climbing into bed. But she couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning a
s her jumbled thoughts whirled in her head. Should she or shouldn’t she? Could she face rejection? Would she feel worse for not having tried than for failing? Her bedroom overlooked the cottage and eventually she got up and looked out of the window. The cottage was in darkness. Adam must already be asleep. Slipping into the silk dressing gown that Michelle had brought her from Hawaii she crept down the stairs and took the cottage key from the peg in the kitchen. She made her way along the path beside the vegetable garden using the moonlight to guide her, and silently slid the key into the lock. It turned easily and when she opened the door Romper wagged a greeting.

Moonlight spilled through the open lounge curtains. Adam liked to be awakened by the dawn and go for a jog on the beach, often taking Romper with him, who frequently had to be carried and she smiled at the faintly ridiculous picture of him jogging with a miniature Yorky tucked under his arm. She picked her way carefully through the lounge and into the bedroom.

The king-size extra length bed, bought to accommodate Adam’s long legs, dominated the room. He was sleeping on his side and as she watched his slow rhythmic breathing her heart leapt. Why do people and animals look so endearing when they’re asleep? She crept closer and was about to climb into the bed when she saw the photo of Michelle and the children on the bedside table, and for a moment she faltered – but she’d come this far and she wasn’t going to turn back.

She slipped cautiously between the sheets wanting to feel his nearness while he slept. His back was bare and she wondered for a moment whether he was completely naked, but she’d spent many holidays with them and knew he slept in cotton shorts, a throw back from his navy days when they could be summoned at a moment’s notice.

She edged closer to him and he stirred and sighed, perhaps subconsciously recognising her perfume - one of Michelle’s favourites, and she had a moment of guilt that she might be trying to trick him. She drew in the fresh clean smell of him, of soap and shampoo and a hint of sand and surf that would always be Adam. As she slid her hand cautiously round his waist he was suddenly awake and alert.

“It’s me, Nicole,” she whispered into his ear. He
spun round, puzzled and concerned. “What’s wrong? Are you all right? Has something happened to Jack or Polly?” He was ready to spring out of bed, but she pushed him back.

“They’re fine. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I’m scared. Please hold me.”

He slipped his arm round her and she rested her head on his broad shoulder, her arm across his chest.

“What are you afraid of?”

She hesitated before replying, “I didn’t tell you the whole truth about why I came home.”

“And you’re going to tell me now, in the middle of the night?”

“Yes. You remember when they thought I had meningitis?” she said, snuggling closer to him.

“How could I forget? Polly was out of her mind with worry.”

“They did some tests and the doctor gave me a physical.” She took her time before continuing. “He found a lump in my breast.”

When Adam didn’t reply, she went on, “They
did a needle biopsy and sent me for a scan and a mammogram. But the result wasn’t definitive. The surgeon suggested a surgical biopsy, but I wanted to come home for it – to be with Mum and Dad. I didn’t want to be alone in case it was bad news.”

He raised himself up on one elbow and waited for her to continue.

“If it’s cancer I might have to have a mastectomy and chemo treatment and lose all my hair. And it could have spread.”

She waited for him to say, ‘Don’t be silly, of course you’ll get better’. But he remained silent, his arm tightening around her.

“I don’t want to die.”

“Is that what you’re afraid of?”

“Yes.”

“When are you having the operation?”

“In two weeks. Oh, Adam, there’s so much I want to do. So much I haven’t done yet.”

He put his hand under her chin
. Lifting her face to his he smiled down at her. “What is it you want to do?”

She waited a long moment before answering
. She was about to reveal her dream, a secret fantasy that she’d shared with no one - and it was a confession that could change their relationship forever. Her heart hammered in her chest as she summoned the courage to admit, “I want you to make love to me. I’m still a virgin.”

She waited for his shocked reaction, but his face remained impassive and he drew her closer.

“Why me?”

“I’ve loved you since the moment Michelle brought you home.”

“You were only fifteen.”

“I’m not fifteen anymore.”

“No, you’re not, which is why you shouldn’t be in my bed.”

“Are you turning me down?” She couldn’t
stand it if he didn’t want her. She’d bared her soul to him. After all the years of loving him from afar she’d finally plucked up the courage to tell him how she felt and it would change their relationship forever. How could they go back to the teasing brother/sister banter now that she’d admitted her true feelings?

“Nicole, this is wrong on so many levels.”

She trailed her hand over his chest, her lips brushing his neck. She had to make him want her. “Why is it wrong? I know you’re still in love with Michelle, but she’s no longer here.”

“Nicole, I love you – but like a sister. I’m thirteen years older than you.”

“That might have mattered when I was fifteen. But I’m twenty-seven now.”

“Nicole, how can I betray Jack and Polly’s trust? I’ve too much respect for them. I’ve told them that I’ll look after you. What would they think if they knew you were in my bed?”

“They’d understand. I know they want you to move on, to get over Michelle.”

She nuzzled his neck, nipping and licking his ear lobe as her hand strayed down over his navel, her
practised fingers creeping into the waistband of his shorts. She knew ways to satisfy a man without allowing him inside her. His slight intake of breath told her she was having the desired effect. She felt his breath quicken as her fingers crept towards his groin. “Michelle told me to wait until I was married, or at least found a man worthy of me. She said I shouldn’t risk some fumbling teenager ruining my first time.  That I should wait until I found a man like you. But I don’t want a man
like
you, I want
you
– before it’s too late. Before I’m disfigured.”

“Don’t, Nicole,” he said, staying her hand before it could stray too far.

“Why?”

“You deserve better. What about Ruan Botha, don’t you have feelings for him?”

“I like him a lot. But I don’t love him the way I love you. Any man I choose would be second best.”

She was aware that he was aroused, but not yet beyond self-control. He
took her hand and kissed it. “This is all very sudden and unexpected,” he said. “You’ll have to give me time to think about it.” He swung his legs out of the bed, got up and shrugged into a track suit. “Let me take you home.”

Tears
pricked her eyes. He didn’t want her. She’d spoilt everything; embarrassed him and jeopardised their relationship forever. The happiest times of her life had been spent with him and Michelle in Hawaii and at the ranch in Texas. But that was all lost now. He’d drift away and there would be no more nights of hope; her dreams were dashed.

He covered her shoulders with his jacket and with his arm
around her he guided her through the moonlit garden back to the house. When he opened the kitchen door for her she turned to him. “Adam.”

He put his finger to her lips. “Sssh.
” Cupping her face in his hands he looked into her eyes for a long moment. “Give me time, Nicole. I need to adjust to thinking of you as more than just a kid sister. I guess I missed seeing that you’ve grown into a woman.” He brushed her lips with his own and she responded, but this time it was more than a sisterly kiss.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

Adam
was in the habit of joining Polly for breakfast on Saturday mornings when Jack went off early to play golf. He strolled into the kitchen with Romper tucked into his tracksuit top and she smiled at the endearing picture. He put the dog down and it went straight to the bowl where Polly put his treat of bacon bits. Adam sat at the wooden kitchen table covered with a flowered cloth, where Jack and Polly took their meals when it was just the two of them.

“Where’s Nicole?” he
asked.

“She said she didn’t want any breakfast.”

“It’s not like her to miss a meal.”

Polly
placed a bowl of porridge in front of him and her own bowl opposite and sat down to face him.

“I heard you and Nicole come back last night.”

“Oh,” he said, drizzling honey onto the porridge. “I hope we didn’t wake you.”

“Then I heard her crying in her room.”

He looked up, concern etching his face. “Is she all right?”

“Yes. She told me what happened.”
She reached out her hand and put it over his. “Adam, you know we love you like a son, and we know you’ll always love Michelle. But we also know you’re still young enough not to want to remain celibate.” She grinned. “And we know you’re not.”

He glanced
down, embarrassed.

“You should empty
all
your pockets before you ask me to take your suits to the cleaners,” she said, laughing. “Or at least make sure you throw away the empty wrapper!”

He gave her a wry smile. “Does Jack know?”

“Jack would think it odd if there were no women in your life.” She squeezed his hand. “But we do appreciate that you don’t bring them home to the cottage.”

“Them. You make it sound like there’s a queue.”

“I think there would be if you asked.”

“I’d never bring anyone to
a bedroom I’d shared with Michelle,” he said quietly, pouring milk onto the porridge.

Polly got up to take the plates of bacon and egg out of the oven where she’d left them to keep warm
. She placed them on the table and looked steadily at him. “Adam, how do you really feel about Nicole?”

He sighed. “I love Nicole like a sister. I don’t want to break her heart if I can’t love her the way she thinks she loves me. She has enough to cope with without these complications.”

“It is complicated. And it’s heartbreaking for Jack and me.” She held his hand. “I know she’s always been in love with you. We thought it was a schoolgirl crush, but soon realised it was more than that. Then we thought Ruan Botha might be ‘the one’. He ticked all the boxes – except one – he wasn’t you.” She stirred the tea that had been brewing in an earthenware pot and poured it into her cup before handing Adam his mug of herbal tea. “Adam, we can’t tell you what to do, but we can give you our blessing for whatever decision you make. I had a long talk with Nicole, and she understands that she could get her heart broken, but ultimately we have to respect her wishes.” She released his hand and he reached for the toast.

“I don’t want to take advantage of her vulnerability.
I’ll have to think it through,” he said.

Sunday dawned clear and sunny with a slight breeze and gentle gusts, an ideal day for sailing. Adam invited Nicole to join him and Lisa and Neil at the yacht club. He was his usual self, but she felt an undercurrent of awkwardness, an awkwardness that had been of her own doing.

“Thanks, but I’ve arranged to meet some old school friends. We’re having a girls’ lunch at
The Wheatsheaf
.”

“Nicole, you’re not angry with me, are you?”

She pressed her lips together and shook her head. She wasn’t angry with him, she was angry with herself.

The Monday morning newspaper had a review of the school play and Lisa was anxious to share it with Adam. “It seems that the play was a ‘professional’ amateur one,” said Lisa. “It sounds a bit like a back-handed compliment, but the rest of the review is good. And they’ve even mentioned the snacks and called the girls ‘budding chefs in the making.’ Barbara Crook will be thrilled with that.”  Adam smiled in agreement, but he seemed distracted. “Is anything wrong?” she asked.

“Not really,” he said.
Changing the subject he told her he was going to see Fred Smith about some planned maintenance of the gym equipment.

When he
returned to her office he said, “Could you set up appointments to have the safety aspects of the equipment checked?” She nodded and then put her finger to her lips. He looked at her enquiringly.

“Barbara Crook is waiting
in your office to see you,” she whispered.

“Can I escape?”

“Not really. She hasn’t got a class until the next period and is prepared to wait.”

He walked in quietly through the adjoining door. She was sitting with her back to him, applying fresh lipstick and studying her face in a hand mirror and didn’t hear him come in. He crept up behind her and whispered in her ear. “Don’t worry Miss Crook, wrinkles aren’t life-threatening.”  She spun round and gave him a
weak grin.

He sat
down and looked at her enquiringly. “What is it?”

“I think it would be good for the girls to start a vegetable and herb garden.”

“Is that so,” replied Adam.

“Yes. If we grow our own the girls will learn what fresh vegetables and herbs look like, and be able to taste the difference in the cooking. We can even grow herbs for your herbal tea.”

“Sounds like a good idea. Where do you intend it should go?”

“It would make sense to put it close to the boys’ vegetable garden. Maybe the boys can do the heavy digging and the girls the planting. We could share the garden tools and hosepipes etc. It would save the school money.”

“Why don’t I just buy troughs and put them outside your classroom? That way all you’ll need is some potting soil, a trowel and a watering can. And you won’t need to walk all the way over to the boys’ school to tend them.”

Lisa stifled a laugh. Barbara had been thwarted by Adam once again. But she had to admit that Barbara Crook knew what she was doing when it came to food. Her cooking experiments always went down well and she was happy to hand out her new recipes –
when she remembered to write them down. She’d endorsed the new home-cooking revolution, and there was merit in encouraging the girls to grow their own food. The girls liked her, even if she could sometimes be over-the-top.

The following Friday evening Jack, Polly and Nicole were expecting Adam for dinner, and had left the kitchen door open. They were surprised to hear a knock on the front door as few people called unexpectedly and they hadn’t heard a car draw up. Jack went to answer it. Polly and Nicole were even more surprised when Jack came back followed by Adam carrying a bunch of flowers. Handing the flowers to Polly he said, “Mr and Mrs Roberts. I’d like your permission to ask your daughter out on a date tomorrow night.”

Polly
took the flowers from Adam and with eyes brimming she hugged him, and then turning to her husband said, “What do you say, Jack? Can we can trust this young man with our daughter?”

“It’s up to Nicole,” he replied with a mock frown. “But he seems to be well-mannered and trustworthy.”

Adam went to Niccole and took her hand. “Nicole, will you do me the honour of being my date tomorrow night?”

Her eyes glisten
ed, but she said, “I’ll have to check my diary first,” and then laughed. “Of course I will,” she said flinging her arms round his neck.

“Be ready at
seven thirty,” he said.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Out to dinner. That’s all you need to know.”