Withholding Secrets (29 page)

“I don’t give a shit about that, Keri! I want to know what the hell is going on in here!” His eyes shot down to Sky, who started to cry even more. Those bright greens softened as he ran a hand over his tight jaw. “This is what I need to know about. I don’t give a shit about anything else!”

Reaching down, he picked up the laptop and tossed it onto the table without a care in the world. Taking a knee in front of us, his eyes scanned over the three of us again, causing Jordan to tighten up under my arm and Sky cry harder yet.

“Would you just calm the hell down? I knocked the bowl off on the floor and I will clean it up! I will get you a new damn computer! God! Just—” My blood heated and gushed through my veins.

“Really, Keri? You think that I am pissed about a mess in my kitchen and a broken computer? I don’t give a shit! What I do give a shit about is my family in the kitchen, crying! This is my family! Mine! How the hell do you think that I am going to be when he’s scared shitless and she’s crying to the point where she can’t breathe? And you are crying, too! It is my job to take care of my family, and look! Look at this! How can I not be pissed about you three on the floor in the kitchen, crying?” Without thinking, his hands scooped Sky up, lifting her away from me. A loud gasp spilled from me as I watched him take her to his chest like a little girl in the arms of her protective father. “Sky, it’s okay. We are right here. It’s okay, honey. You’re safe and no one will ever hurt you, sweetheart.”

Her arms wrapped around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. “I love you, Coach Kane.”

“Don’t ever be scared to come and talk to us, sweetie. That’s what we are here for. We are here to protect you and keep you safe.” Standing up with her clinging tight to him, he motioned for us to come to him.

Jordan got to his feet first, helping me up. The instant that we were standing, Kane’s arm gathered us tight to him. We all just stood there, together, under his arm, and Sky wrapped around him as if he was a dad holding his little girl that had a broken heart. How perfect could this guy be?

“I want you three to get cleaned up, and then we will go and pick out a new laptop.” His eyes shifted over to Jordan as a smirk came to his face. “As long as you take it easy on this one. Damn. Shouldn’t you be plopped down in front of video games or something instead of always working on homework?”

“I just like studying.” Jordan chuckled a little as his cheeks darkened. “I just want you both to be proud of me.”

“We are. We really are, Jordan.” Wrapping my arms around him, I smiled as my heart shattered even more. If he ever found out what his father was up to, it would damage him even more. I couldn’t stand the thought of both my kids getting hurt ever again. Maybe I would have Kane put his watchers on them both, but they would have to be hidden.

“So, now, with someone’s birthday coming up, we need to sit down and talk about what you want, Sky.” Taking her to the island table, he sat her on the top of it and dried her tears carefully with a napkin. “What do you want to do? What do you want?”

“I have everything that I want, Coach Kane. I have everything that I ever wanted.” Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close again. “I always dreamed of a family like this, and now, I have it. How can I want anything more? I have everything I want. My dream came true.”

Kane cleared his throat as his eyes drifted up to mine. The glass over them made my body heat up. Was he really tearing up? Were those tears in his eyes?

And this moment would be one I would cherish the rest of my life. Getting Kane to sign some custody forms was my only way to secure their future. But how?

It wasn’t easy, but I broke my phone. How? Blame it on doing dishes and accidently dropping it into the sink. With so much on my mind at work, how could I not be flustered? And it was only Monday. My mind was on the other crap at hand, like my little girl’s safety. I had a week to crack this and figure out how I was going to stop everything. If these guys thought they were going to get any more girls, they were thinking wrong. Even if it wasn’t mine, they weren’t going to get another one to replace her.

Just like the great man that Kane was, he bought me a new phone. I needed one in case the kids needed something or he wanted to call and check up on me. And now, he was more protective than before. I knew that he had his security team on the kids. I spotted them right away. Was I upset? Hell no. Did he tell me that he had someone watching over Sky and Jordan? Hell no. Was I going to hound him about it? Hell no. I just hoped that he didn’t have any on me.

After work on Tuesday, I went straight to the rink where Jordan and Sky were on the ice with Kane. He knocked the puck over to Sky, letting her take it to the goal. Jordan was skating backward, taunting her and teasing her a little, but he was giving her a chance.

“There is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” Kane’s voice shot through the arena, jumping my heart into overdrive. Gliding up to the wall, he pointed at me and sent me one of his sexy smiles. “Why don’t you just put on a pair of skates and join us?”

Looking over my black skirt and stockings, I shook my head. Not to count that I was better at watching than playing. No. I had other things that I needed to do, and my time was running out. Still, I had no idea who the unknown source was. And Sky … I had to make sure that she was being watched every second. Every damn second, without alarming Kane.

“You’re right. Should we call it a night and get home?” Reaching over the boards, he pressed his lips to my forehead before pushing off the ice to glide over to the kids.

I swallowed hard, but the heavy lump grew thicker and saltier. What the hell was wrong with me? For once, I found a great man, a really great one, and I had to deceive him, lie to him, and use him. I couldn’t do that to him. I just had to come clean and tell him everything. This was far beyond my control. I was lying to the people who loved me the most and trusted me the most. Losing those kids, their trust, I just couldn’t risk it. If he had the means to keep Sky safe, then I just had to let him and hope that he didn’t turn me in for my felonies.

Pulling the kids off the ice, they laughed as they switched their skates to their shoes and Kane managed to plaster the love all over his face. His green eyes shifted over to me, and I could see the spark of curiosity in them. He was onto me. He knew that I was keeping something from him, but he didn’t know just how bad this actually was.

Just as we got out to the vehicles, Kane pointed at Sky and smiled. “You did great out there. I am proud of you.”

“It’s all a numbers game. That’s what Keri said. I just used it.” Her dark eyes twinkled as she looked over to me. How was that not heartbreaking? The trust that she had in me … and I was going to be the one that deceived and lied to her the most. I just hated myself even more. I would just have to come clean to Kane for her sake. Her trust was the most fragile, and the one that would cost me everything if I lost it.

“When Alicia comes back to school, I will talk to her, Sky. I am sure that she’s—” Jordan straightened up and gathered together all of the skates.

My heart stopped hard taking my breath with it. Alicia hadn’t been in school for the past two days? After their argument and what Sky said, I was sure that it was just a little fight with the girls. But for two days? Ben wouldn’t let her out of school for two days. Unless she was sick. Maybe she was just sick. There was a blonde haired girl in that split photo that I had seen, but I couldn’t make her out. Sky, on the other hand, was clear as day.

“You haven’t talked to her?” Looking at Sky and those sad eyes, I knew that it was still getting to her. For everything that the girl had gone through, she had the biggest heart of them all. Last night, she crawled in bed with me after a nightmare, and I didn’t have the heart to send her back to her room. All night, she stayed cuddled right tight to me, too. A few times, I felt her shaking as if having another one, but she just said my name and it was over with. When the second one hit her, she called out my name and cried a little, but then it was over just like that again.

I was a monster. I was horrible for doing and knowing what I did. How could I not trust Kane with this? I should have gone to him in the first place. I should have told him what I found out and let him take care of the rest.

“No. She won’t answer any of my calls or texts.” Falling into my arms, she pressed her face to my chest and sighed heavily. “I just wanted to tell her that I was sorry for what I said.”

“Go home with Kane and I will be there later. I am going to talk to Ben, and I will talk to her. Don’t worry, Sky. I will let her know how sorry you are.” Passing the girl off to Kane, my chest tightened as my stomach rolled over. What if the other girl in the photo was Alicia? Oh god! What if they had gotten her already? I had to talk to Ben. I had to see.

No. She wouldn’t be missing. Ben would have called me right away if she was. He would have let Kane and I know if Alicia was missing.

“Keri!” Kane’s voice shouted out after me, but I had to ignore it.

This was Alicia, Ben’s daughter, and I had to just find out for myself. I had to know. I needed to see her, and I didn’t care if I had to go over to their mother’s to check on her. Ben was my friend. Ben was the one who stood for Jordan and Sky about that last fight.

Getting into my car, I turned it on and pulled out fast, leaving Kane standing there with his mouth hanging open. If Alicia was missing and I was the reason, if she was picked up and I hadn’t done anything about it, it would change everything. If they had her, I would just have to find her. I would have to plant myself in there to get her out.

Pulling into the long dirt driveway, I hadn’t seen a sight of anyone. Not a soul. If she was missing and it was my fault, I would have to take my own life before the guilt would. Ben was a damn good person, and so were his kids. I texted him and told him to keep an eye on Alicia, but all I got back was an ‘
all the time’
and that was it. What if they had taken her and he didn’t know yet? He would go absolutely insane. Just like me, he lived for his kids.

Jumping out, I ran up to the house and beat on the door. Nothing. Not a damn person was home. Running down to the barn, I beat on the door down there before I realized that it actually opened. No one was in there either. Walking back out, I just screamed his name, hoping that he was near.

Nothing.

Not a soul.

Just as I headed back up to my car, my stomach churned, hard and fast, wanting to force my lunch out. The rumble of a tractor caught my attention. The dust was coming closer, and I could make out the tractor coming down the road. With my heart slapping hard in my chest, I ran toward him. If he was there and working, that was a good thing. A very good thing. It had to be. I just needed to make sure that he kept Alicia under his watch at all times until I figured out what was going on and who was after the girls.

Stopping the tractor, he climbed down, the curiosity filling into his older, sun worn face.

“Where the hell is Alicia?” Maybe I wasn’t the best at being calm and rational. Maybe having those kids turned me into a crazy person, but I had to find out. I had to see her and talk to her myself.

“They are with their mom this week. I thought Sky would have told you.” His eyes shifted around as the anger sank into him. “I heard all about the fight. Believe me.”

“Sky is very sorry that she said what she did, Ben. You can’t hold it against her!” Was I really yelling at him? Him? The guy who stood up for my kids? What was I becoming? I was losing it. I was going to lose it with all this. What I needed to do was go home and talk to Kane about everything. He was my rational mind that I needed right now. Apparently, I wasn’t any good at it. “She didn’t have the chance to see what a mother is supposed to be like until she landed on my doorstep! Don’t sit there and tell me that she’s the one who was wrong!”

Shut the hell up, Keri. He’s probably not mad about it.

The lines around his eyes faded as he held up his hands in defense, knowing exactly how I was. “I talked to Alicia about—”

“God, Ben! Her mother let her damn boyfriend crawl in bed with her! I am the only one who is trying my best to give them a damn life! I am the only one that protected her! What the hell?!” And what the hell was I thinking? I just needed to listen to my inner voice for a change and shut the hell up. This was going to get him to hate me, and I couldn’t have that. Ben was there for us also. Always had been, and I couldn’t risk losing him either.

He shifted his large frame nervously as his soft blues scanned over the fields, thinking of what to say. I just hoped that he wasn’t trying to think of how to tell me to leave. “I told Alicia that Sky didn’t mean—”

“You are damn right that she didn’t mean it! She’s a fucking kid, Ben! She’s been through…” Just as I lunged for him, his arm wrapped around me as his other hand covered my mouth. Pinning me to his chest, his chest heaved.

“Settle down, Keri. Just settle down.” His voice came out soft and gentle, just like the man that he was. Letting up on his hold of my mouth, he cleared his throat, his voice vibrate through his chest. “I talked to her about it and told her that Sky is just hurting. I told her to think about how Sky felt, not having a mother until she ended up on your doorstep. She understands, and she said that she was going to call Sky.”

“Well, she didn’t and Sky has been crying all night!” Seeing my chance, I tried pushing away from him, but he held onto me tighter. Damn him for being such a big guy. He wasn’t letting me do anything, but then again, he had seen the wrath that ran through me at the school. I was sure that he heard how Andrew and Jordan had to contain me that day Sky’s math teacher was scaring her. “Why hasn’t she fucking called?”

“Keri! Stop it!” His voice shot out, bringing the tears to my eyes. Hot tears. Blistering tears. If he only knew that I was literally panicking inside, he would understand. If he knew what I did, his panic would be all over the place, stealing the rationality from him, and turning the teddy bear into a raging giant grizzly. “You are going to get yourself into trouble if you keep just jumping off the deep end like this. Then what? You show people that you are unable to hold your temper, they will take those kids right away from you.”

“Don’t you threaten me! Don’t threaten me, Ben!” Fighting off his hold, I barely slipped from his hands when he had lunged, grabbing me around my waist. Lifting me off the ground, he swung around, pinning me to the back wheel of the tractor. Using his large frame, he held me tight to it as his eyes landed on mine. “I will do anything for them!”

“I know that you would, Keri. I understand what it’s like being single and raising two teenagers. You have to let them work it out. You have to learn how to control yourself. I am telling you this because I really like you.” His hold started to lift when the truck pulled in, coming to a halt, sending up a cloud of dust around us. “I hear what people are saying, Keri. You can’t go around losing your temper.”

“Get your hands off her right now!” Kane’s loud curse came flying through the dust as he stormed up, face red with anger, and his fists clenching tightly. “Don’t you ever touch—”

“It’s my fault, Kane! I came at him, trying to hit him.” As Ben stepped back, I straightened my blue blouse and brushed off my skirt. “I was pissed, and he was just trying to get me to calm down.”

“If you think that I will stand by and let you make excuses for some man to grab you like that, you are out of your pretty little mind! Do you think that those two kids wouldn’t tell me what your ex put your through or did to you? Huh? When I hear that someone chokes you for trying to speak your mind, I am going to let anything fly?” His hand curled around my arm, tugging me to him. “You all are my responsibility, Keri!”

“Where the hell are my kids?” Screaming at the empty truck, I balled my fist, taking a swing at him. If they were at the house alone, I would have to beat him down myself. How dare he leave my little girl alone when she was the target for the next abduction? That’s right. I didn’t tell him that yet.

“They are with my parents! Keri, what the hell has gotten into you?” His large hands curled around my upper arms, holding me still as his green eyes dug deep into me. I just wanted to tell him. I wanted to confess what I had done. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. My heart was beating so hard I could barely hear anything. If they had taken Alicia, I would have to find out who and where those girls were. I would find out, and they would be sorry that they had messed with any little girls.

“I will call Alicia and ask her why she hadn’t called Sky yet. Just calm down, Keri.” Ben’s easy voice surrounded us as Kane and I just stared at each other.

“Keri, what is going on with you? You need to talk to me. You need to trust me. If there’s something wrong—” His hold eased on my arms, allowing the blood to flow back to my hands.

“I am so sorry. I just … I did … I went … God, Kane! I am just scared! I am scared!” How could I tell him that I committed a felony in his home, on his computer, lied to him, and deceived all of the ones that I loved? I would lose him, and I would lose the kids for sure by confessing.