Read Without care Online

Authors: Kam Carr

Tags: #love, #youngadult, #younglove, #kamcarr

Without care


Written by Kam





“It's another
sunny day here in Summerton” booms the radio presenter, with my
eyes still closed I reach over and hit the snooze button. Monday
already? What happened to my weekend? I toss back the cover and
swung my legs out of the bed.


I stroll over
to the window and sure enough the radio presenter is right, it was
sunny. I could hear my crazy mother downstairs singing along to the
radio. Some song about 'loving somebody'. I walk over to my
wardrobe and pull back the door. It was time to get ready and
prepare myself for the hell that is High School.


After getting
dressed in my usual skinny jeans and baggy sweatshirt, I finally
made my way downstairs into the kitchen. My mother was sitting in
her normal place at the breakfast bar, with her mirror plastering
make-up on her face. Lacey, my little sister sat watching in


“Morning,” my
mother smiles; not taking her eyes off the mirror whilst pouting. I
have no idea why she wears that rubbish every day. She is sicking
beautiful, blonde hair, flawless skin, big blue eyes and a figure
that a 20 year old would be jealous of. I apparently look just like
her, which I disbelieved.


She held up a
lipstick as I walked over. “Here,” she held it out for me. “Why
don't you wear this today?”


I roll my eyes.
“No, thank you” I mumble, pushing her hand away. Everyday we had
the same argument, her insisting I dressed more like her and me
protesting I liked the way I dressed.


“Come on,” she
sighed, her made up over the top eyes flicking towards me. “How are
you going to get a boyfriend in those baggy clothes?” I stare
blankly at her with one eyebrow raised. “You should experiment,”
she quietly added.


“Is that what
you were doing Friday night?”


“I was letting
my hair down.”


“You’ve just
met him, mom” I remind her; she shakes her head and goes back to
doing her make-up. She is my mother and I love her dearly; I wish
just once she would act like one. I turned my attention to Lacey
and began to get her breakfast ready.


'Letting her
hair down’ –
What a lame excuse, she seemed to be letting her
hair down every Friday night. It didn't bother me that she wanted
to have a good time, it was just she seemed to be seeing a
different bloke every couple of weeks. This week it was the cop,
two weeks ago it was Pete the musician and I can't even remember
who she saw before that.


We had moved to
Summerton just over seven months ago and it was the first place in
years we had actually settled. My mother had a job as a
receptionist; Lacey attended Elementary school and enjoyed it. I
went to Summerton High and had actually made two decent friends. No
matter how settled we were, I was always on edge. Anxious that one
day someone would find us and destroy the little life we had

Now to top it
all, she was seeing yet another man. Summerton was a little town
just on the edge of the coast; it was always warm and sunny. It was
a picturette American town, sometimes walking through the streets
it felt like you were stuck in a time warp. Everyone knew everyone,
as no one ever seemed to leave. Which meant my mother was probably
the latest gossip AGAIN!


I placed a bowl
of cereal in front of Lacey and took a seat take to her. We both
started eating and watched my mother fanning out her hair. She
stood up and smooth down her tiny black skirt, which made me
cringe. Why couldn't she dress properly, she was forty and insisted
on wearing those tiny nothing skirts and those tight fitting


She had every
red blooded male around here lusting after her, the women obviously
disliked her and she was beginning to get a reputation. It was as
if she didn't care, she liked all the attention. She hadn't always
been like this. I remember the time she actually baked cookies and
actually got ME breakfast.


I look over at
Lacey, still watching my mother as if she was the best thing since
slice bread. Poor Lacey had never met the woman I had. She’d only
seen her as this. Lacey was five, surely she deserved better than
this. If my father was here, the second it crossed my mind my
stomach turns.


That was a
stupid thing to think, he was the reason we moved around, he was
the reason my mother acted the way she did.


I’m not
entirely sure what happened between my parents. I just remember
being woken up in the middle of the night and being thrown in a
car, going god knows where. I just knew we couldn't contact him and
he couldn't find us. Still to this day she won't speak about him
and I don't dare to mention him.


“Right” my
mother's voice bringing my thoughts to a stop. “Off to work. Will
you be a sweetie, Jen and do the shopping tonight?” She picked her
bag up from the kitchen side. “And while you're there, can you pick
up my dry cleaning.”


“Yes,” I


“Thank you,”
she swipes between me and Lacey placing kisses on our cheeks. Then
walks towards the door, before leaving she turns and does an over
dramatic bow before gliding out of the room.


Lacey laughs at
our crazy mother's exit. “Mommy's funny,” she giggles, smiling from
ear to ear.


“Yeah, she's a
hoot” the sarcasm spilling out of my mouth.


When I arrived
at school the car park was already filled with teenagers eagerly
waiting to gossip about their weekend. My mother keeps saying that
this is meant to be the best time of my life, seriously? Peer
pressure, the constant need of fitting in, the crushes, raging
hormones and no doubt unrequient love. No, I couldn't wait to
finish High School.


I walk through
the car park, not really noticing anyone and made my way over to
shady part where I normally met my friends, Becks and Ali.


As always there
they were both sat; Ali with a head in a book and Becks playing on
her phone. As if they could sense my presence their heads looked up
at me. Ali was a petite girl, long dark hair with exotic skin tone
and dark eyes. Becks was on the curvy side with black hair, pale
skin and sharp green eyes.

I had made
friends with them instantly. I trusted them more than I trusted my
own mother. If it wasn't for them I would have remained the
outsider. With them by my side, school seemed a lot easier.


“Hi,” I smiled,
tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “How was your weekend?”


“Boring” Ali
groaned, closing her book. “My father made us go sailing.”


“So,” Becks
began, ignoring Ali completely. “Rumour has it your mother has a
new man on the go.”


I looked down
at my feet, it had got around already. “How did you find out?” I
cringed, awkwardly playing with the strap of my rucksack.


“Ted” that must
be the name of the cop. “Is a friend of my fathers.” Yep, made
sense, like I said everybody knew everybody. “Apparently, Ted is
very keen on your mother.”


“Tell me
someone who isn't” I hissed, looking back up at my friends. I
started walking towards the school building, wondering how many
other people knew my mother's bedroom activities. Ali and Becks
caught me up.


“I wish my Mom
was like yours” Ali blurted out. I snorted and shook my head. “I
do,” she insisted.


“Your Mom seems
so much fun and she has a wicked dress sense. My mother just bakes
and spends all day in an apron.”


“Wanna trade?”
I joked. The pair laughed at my little joke and we made our way to


The morning
seemed to be a blur of classes and me avoiding speaking to anyone.
I had this paranoid thought that everyone was whispering behind my
back, laughing about my wayward mother and the latest notch on her
bedpost. If only she knew how her behaviour affected me, she was
too selfish to think about anyone but herself.


It was lunch
time and I entered the cafeteria. It was filled with teenagers, all
divided in their own little group. The popular kids, the sporty
kids, the brainy kids, the beautiful kids and then the ones that
didn't seem to have a place in the school.


I found Ali and
Becks already sat eating lunch. We didn't belong to any group,
which suited me fine. I had always seen myself as a leader and not
a follower. Besides, who would want to be labelled? Once you left
school you left it behind anyway.


I pulled my
lunch box out, opened it up and began to munch on my carrot sticks.
Ali and Becks were in deep conversation and I just sat back
listening, every so often adding my little bit.


A loud laughter
filled the room and my eyes looked over at the popular kids' table.
Of course, Chase Walker was the centre of attention. He was the
leader of that little group, girls lusted after him and the boys
wanted to be him. He was your classic all American boy- blonde
hair, handsome, well built and the school's top football player.
His family were rich too; he had the perfect life and anything he
wanted at the click of his fingers.


I would be
lying if I said I didn't fancy him, of course I did. After all, I
am human and a girl. I quickly looked away before he noticed me
staring, which sometimes he did. He would smile and I would blush,
that was the only communication we had. Apart from when we were in
maths together, then he would copy my answers and dazzle me with
his boyish grin.


“Ugh” Becks
spat. “Would you look at her...?” Her eyes were now on that table,
me and Ali followed her gaze. Chrissy Cartwright, the head
cheerleader, was now talking to Chase. Her fingers running up and
down his arm, her eyelashes fluttering. “Why doesn't she just put a
sign around her neck? Go out with me Chase! Ugh.”


Becks hated
Chrissy, apparently a few years ago, they were best friends. When
Chrissy realized things were greener on the popular side, she
switched over – Leaving Becks bitter and full of hatred.


I looked away
again and this time in a different direction. That's when I noticed
him, sitting alone in a quieter part of the hall. He was leaning
back in his chair, his eyes closed. I had never seen him before, as
if he could tell, his eyes sprung open and locked on mine.


A chill ran
through my body, he was beautiful; toussal auburn hair, deep dark
eyes, sculptured but angular features. He had a slender frame, but
with a hint of muscle. His clothes reminded me of something an
indie singer would wear, baggy jeans, a green T-shirt with an urban
logo. Everything about him called out individual, one of a


He frowned,
pushed back his chair, grabbed his bag and stormed off. My eyes
followed him out and I let out a deep breath. Who was he? My heart
thumped against my chest and what was his problem? I shook my head
and carried on eating my lunch. It was a small town, so I would
find out sooner or later.


“What are you
doing tonight, Jen?” Ali asked.


“I have to pick
up my mothers dry cleaning, do a shift at the Diner and then do
some food shopping.” I made a face, and then carried on munching a
carrot. Knowing my luck, I would also have to pick Lacey up from
Mrs Queen; the dear old lady who lived across the road, she had
taken a shine to Lacey and insisted on watching her while me and my
mother worked. Then probably cook dinner and to top it all


“That' a shame”
Becks pouted. “We were going to catch a film tonight. Maybe we
should wait until you’re free.”


I shook my
head. “You go with your plans” I gave a little smile to hide my


I never did
average teenager things. I had a mother and a sister to take care
of. 17 years old and I seemed to be the head of the household. Once
again, I felt that small flame of anger towards my mother, she
couldn't be completely oblivious of how much I done. Or did she not
care to even notice.


The bell rang,
telling us lunchtime was over. I packed my things away and followed
the herd of students leaving the cafertia. Maybe if I wished hard
enough life would change and I could be like other all the


I don't even
remember the moment she changed into the stranger she is. I am
pretty sure it was sometime last year. Exactly how much fun can you
have getting intoxicated and sleeping with the first person you
see. I just know that I am not ending up like her, I am never
getting married and I am never having children.

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