“And the dead?” I asked as I raised one eyebrow.
“With the dead, to do one...you must do the other.”
“Ask, though? How can I ask them to show me when they felt love – when they’re obviously oblivious to that moment?”
He reached his arm around me so he could reach the neck of the guitar. “If you ask that question, at least they won’t show the most horrid memories they have; they’ll take you closer, help you get the answer faster so you can move on to the next.”
A sinking dread seeped into me as the reality dawned on me that Draven always saw the darkest point in the souls of the dead…this emotion brought forth countless memories that were under the surface of him, having struggled with these images when we were just children. “I’m sorry for what you see…I want to take it away - but I’m scared it’s going to take you away.”
“I told you, nothing is going to take you away from me,” he promised again.
“Show me where you’re going. Teach me that song,” I said as I glanced down at the guitar across us.
“Not yet. Let’s work on teaching you to move to a place you’ve seen,” he said as he began to play a familiar song from our past – the first one he wrote for me.
I felt shut out, and that terrified me. What was there that he didn’t want me to see yet? My body tensed, then my deepest fear surfaced in my thoughts. “Draven…is she there? Is…is Bianca there?”
His jaw tightened, and his hands fell from the guitar as his arms wrapped around me. “What you fear has already happened.”
My heart began to hammer against my chest and my ears burned as a sick feeling absorbed me. I stood abruptly – Draven barely managed to keep the guitar from crashing to the floor.
“What do you mean?!” I yelled. “She came on to you? You’ve been with her?”
I couldn’t say another word. I thought I was going to be sick. I held my hand over my mouth as I turned away from him. I wasn’t going to let him see me cry. Before the first tear fell, I felt his arms go around my waist and his lips against my ear. “You are the only soul I will ever love – I told her that.”
I shook my head as I tried to step forward, but his arms tightened around me and refused to let me run away from him. “I don’t want to know...I don’t want to know...she’s the devil! I’ve seen what she can do to couples – she’s the reason you’re changing!”
“No…” he said in a firm, quiet breath. “She cannot have me – and she knows that. Every temptation, every word she knows has been said – and I’m still yours. You made me too powerful for her to touch.”
The tension in my body began to subside. I turned in his arms and stared into his alluring green eyes. “How did I make you powerful? How do you know that this isn’t just part of some big elaborate plan?”
His eyes moved slowly across my face as if he were looking at me for the first time. The wonder and devotion I saw there was too much to bear; my head was spinning, and my knees were weak. Then he began to explain. “Escorts…they exist…but because we are who we are, because we’re wide awake - they can’t work on us.”
“It worked on me – I lost my memory,” I argued.
“That was a clever mind game, one that would never last long on anyone - let alone you. Our souls will never completely forget our memories – you know that. How many dark souls have you saved based on that theory?”
I shook my head from side to side as I gazed into his eyes. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t; Bianca was nothing to toy with.
“If they’re not escorts meant to blind us from our purpose, then what are they? Why are they tormenting us?”
“They are escorts, escorts that have been around for a long time - and now they’re seeking a higher power.”
“What are you talking about?”
Draven smiled slightly. “I mean that they’re tired of playing in reality, and they want to control this world that lies in dreams – or at least, that’s where I think it lies.”
“How can they control that?”
“They can’t – not alone.”
“They want to control it together?”
He reached to cradle my face as he smiled slightly at me. I couldn’t comprehend why the way he was looking at me felt so differently. I mean, I’d always seen love in his eyes, but the level of devotion I saw there was beyond anything I’d seen in anyone’s eyes - dead or alive.
“No, I don’t think they care for each other. I think they’re both playing each other for a fool,” he finally said.
“Tell me why...how do you know that they aren’t playing you for a fool by making you think that?”
He let his hand fall from my face. “Because it’s obvious that at one time, Bianca wanted to be with Britain, rule with him – but he refused her, told her that she wasn’t powerful enough for him. ‘Cut from the wrong cloth’ are the words I believe he used.”
“How do you know that?”
“I saw her,” he said with a smirk.
“You were in her mind – her thoughts?” I said as anger spilled over me.
“I asked questions – and I found answers,” he said as his arms tightened around me so I couldn’t run from him.
“What questions?” I asked firmly, fighting my fury.
“Simple ones: when did you meet Britain, how many women has he loved, what power does he have. All of those answers took me to memories that played out telling scenes.”
“I don’t believe you. I tried to see both of them before my accident, and there was nothing there.”
“First of all, you tried to see them in this reality. They’ve learned to block themselves, just like we’re learning to do now. In the dream world, it’s harder - if not impossible – to block all of your thoughts,” he explained.
“Why?”
“Because it’s your thoughts, memories that are creating the world around you, giving you power. If you shield them, you have no power – a blank canvas.”
I tried to imagine this place he was talking about. It almost seemed as if you were standing in your own thoughts, dreams – and everyone could see them. To me, that was foolish. Maybe it was because I’ve always had a natural instinct to block my thoughts – one that was undoubtedly embedded there by my father.
“Which makes you vulnerable. You should never let them see your thoughts,” I said firmly
“I don’t.”
“You just said -”
He reached his finger to my lips to stop me from arguing further. “Listen…I only use the memories I need for the power I want. I’ve gained control of this quickly – almost naturally. Grayson said he was astonished at the control I have there; they still struggle to protect themselves.”
I pushed his hands from my waist, then walked to the couch and collapsed into it. I buried my face into my hands as I leaned forward.
“This is insane. I don’t understand.”
Draven came to my side, and I felt his arm go around me as he sat down. “I told you it was a lot, that we needed to take baby steps.”
“You didn’t tell me she was there – that she’d tempted you. That was my only fear. If that’s happened and you passed that temptation, then I can only imagine what horrible things you’re hiding from me.”
“Nothing horrible…I think it’s kind of amazing, actually.”
I let my hands fall, then looked to my side at him. “I don’t like this addiction you have to this place...it’s changing you.”
“It’s changing us for the better. That concert you wanted for the dead would have only scratched the surface of what we could do. When I master this world, I can end this torment.”
“What are you saying? That you can make the shadows and whispers vanish – help all of the dark souls?”
“I’m saying that I can make them leave you alone – give you peace.”
“I don’t want peace – I want them to have peace. How can you do that?”
“Listen…there’s just as much darkness as there is light – and every day, more souls are lost. The battle has existed since the beginning of time and will exist until the end.”
“So how can you make it stop?”
“By redirecting the power behind the souls.”
I didn’t want to hear another word. I stood up and went to look for my laptop.
“What are you doing?” he asked as I started searching my room for where Kara could have put it.
“Finding my computer, then booking us a flight to Montana. This is over.”
“Montana?” he asked in a curious tone.
“Yeah – that’s where that Landen guy is. You’re taking advice from kids that are just like us and have no idea what they’re doing. You stumbled onto a dream world, where the freaking devil herself tempted you - and now you’re saying that you’re gonna take the one way I can make a difference in this Godforsaken world away from me? I’m done. If you wanna dance in this dream world, you’re gonna do it with people who actually know a thing or two about alternate worlds, travelers. Like Austin, Landen, and whoever else from that world that can help us.”
My laptop was nowhere in sight. I’d decided to look downstairs, but before I reached the door Draven had his arms around me again. He turned me around, then began to slowly force me to walk backwards toward the couch.
“He’s not there anymore. Landen is in his own hell.”
“What?!” I said as my body tensed and I refused to move another inch.
Empathy filled Draven’s alluring eyes. “He had to fight a darkness to have his soul mate with him…they had a victory then, but more pain has been forecasted for them. They have their own battles; they don’t need ours.”
“How –”
Before I could say another word, his finger was on my lips. “Austin was here today. He came to check on us. I told him we were fine, that right now - and maybe forever - we would stay right here.”
“How could you close that door without talking to me – to all of us? That was our way out?!”
“It’s still there. Austin said he would always be there and that when he saw Landen, he’d tell him what we were doing.”
“So – this Landen guy knew about us but never even tried to meet us, to give us advice? Maybe he isn’t the person Austin made him out to be.”
Draven shook his head as I spoke. “Austin never had a chance to tell him or see him. What he knows is common knowledge in Chara. If anything, Landen is more than what they thought, and his soul mate has given him immense powers…kinda like you give me power.”
“You promise this door isn’t closed? Austin will come back?” He nodded. “That when he comes back, you’ll tell me?” He nodded again. “How do I give you power?” I asked as my shoulders fell.
“I’ve been trying to show you; baby steps, remember? Let’s take the first one.”
I nodded and followed him to the couch, where he picked up the guitar and laid it across us. My mind was rushing in every direction. I felt out of control - like I was racing toward a cliff and Draven was driving. I let out a deep breath and conceded the idea that if we fell off this cliff, at least we’d fall together.
Chapter Eight
I watched as Draven played with the strings of the guitar. It was clear he was trying to think of a simple way for me move into memories.
My head was spinning out of control; all I could think about was finding Bianca and giving her a piece of my mind. I couldn’t believe I was such an idiot. I remembered thinking that I was supposed to save Britain from her, that if I did, I could figure out how to protect Draven - but now I don’t know what to think. It’s as if she’s had her chance with both of them and had been refused. If that was the case, what was next? What was she planning? If they aren’t escorts meant to blind us from our purpose, then what do they want with us? How do I give Draven power? What is he not telling me? I began to fidget with my hands and was having a hard time staying still at Draven’s side.
He glanced at me. “Thought about taking you somewhere safe and close first, but I want to show you how powerful the ability to do this is.”
My eyes grew wide with anticipation, but then thoughts of defeat came over me. I’d struggled long enough with figuring out how to see, and now he was taking this to the next level.
“OK, look – don’t assume I know something I don’t. If any of you had bothered to tell me that I needed to ‘ask’ a question when I was seeing, I would have gotten this long before I did. Now all of you are blocking me, and I have no idea if you’re doing that or if I’m doing this wrong. Tell me step by step what do, what I have to focus on.”
An impish grin came to the corners of his perfect lips. “I did tell you to ask a question…you were just asking too many.”
“You should have said that. I almost feel like you like me being blind like this,” I said boldly.
His smile fell, and I knew I had hurt him. “I don’t want anyone to be blind…I was trying to let you find your way back on your own because you’re stubborn and hard headed. You wouldn’t have listened to me anyway – but now we’re out of time. You need to know how to do this now.”
“Teach,” I said shortly, knowing he was right. I have a bad habit of trying to understand things on my own, but going through what I’ve been through has forced me to ask for help – a hard lesson I didn’t care to learn.
He held my stare as he played through three chords. “Remember this song?”
I did. It was the very first one he’d written for me. He was only fourteen, and he played for me at his grandmother’s house in the UK. My mom had let me fly over there for three weeks that summer. I nodded to confirm.