WMIS 08 Forever With Me (29 page)

“I’m not that for Dominic. And I deserve that, Jules. I
need
it.”

“Everyone deserves it, but I don’t understand why you think you’re not a priority for Dom. Hold on.” She pulls the phone away from her face and murmurs to someone quietly before returning.
 

“Please don’t tell the family about this.”

“That was my dad. He’s just making sure everything is okay. He won’t say anything.”

“I hope you’ll still think of me when events come up.”

“Girl, you’re doing Jax and Logan’s wedding. We won’t take no for an answer.”

I bite my lip as longing fills me. I love working with this family. It’s not just because of the money, but because they’re fun and my best clients. I don’t want to give them up.

And why should I have to? I didn’t do anything wrong!

“Okay. I’ll call you next week. I’m out of town right now.”

“Where are you?”

“San Francisco. I have some demons to put to rest.”

“Alecia, I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be. I’ll be fine. I’ll talk to you next week.”
 

She sighs in my ear. “Fine. We’ll talk next week. And I mean
talk
, Alecia.”

“I’ll see you soon.”
 

***

When I arrive at the Alley Cat, the diner that Jonathan and I had Sunday morning breakfast at every week during our entire marriage, he’s already sitting in our booth, near the back, looking nervous as he stares down into his coffee mug. I take a minute to soak in the sight of him. His mink-brown hair is longer than he used to wear it, almost shaggy. He’s still thin, just this side of too thin, with no muscle definition on his arms. He’s wearing his usual metal band T-shirt and baggy jeans.

He looks young. Carefree.

I sit opposite from him, unlike when we were married.

“You used to sit beside me,” he says with a half-smile and sits back in the booth arrogantly.

I don’t return it.

Instead, I sit back and say the first thing that comes to mind.
 

“You should be ashamed of the way you treated me.”

His eyes widen, but I see I’ve struck him dumb, so I continue.

“The way you used to belittle my job? Not okay.” My voice is perfectly calm, but my eyes are pinned to his. “The way you’d give me the silent treatment when I
disappointed
you? Definitely not okay. Making me feel small, or that your shortcomings were my fault, was not okay.”

The waitress appears to take my drink order, but I simply shake my head, sending her on her way.

“You pushed me away when I tried to give you affection. You made sure I knew that I was the last person on your priority list. You had inappropriate relationships with women that
you weren’t married to
.” I lean forward, bracing myself on my elbows. His face has paled, but his mouth is tight, and I can see I’m pissing him off. “And making me feel like a piece of shit because my sexual appetites weren’t the same as yours was not fucking okay.”

He swallows hard. “Are you done?”

I tip my head back and forth, giving it some thought. “For now.”

“It’s good to see you too. You look beautiful, by the way.”

I blink and frown at him. “I’m out of here.”

“Wait.” His hand covers mine before I can slide out of the booth. “Don’t go. You’re right. None of that was okay.”

“Okay.” I pull my hand out of his and watch him quietly. “Since we agree on that, now I get to ask you why.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Why was I a douche?”

“You were an asshole, Jonathan. And I want to know why. What was it about me that was so unlovable? What gave you the right to make me feel less than, especially knowing my past with my parents.”

“Oh, Alecia, you are
not
unlovable. I’ll apologize first and foremost if I ever made you feel that way.”

My eyebrows lift in surprise.

“I was so in love with you I couldn’t see straight. You were beautiful and smart and so fucking talented.”

My jaw drops, and then I recover and simply scowl at him.
 

“If that’s how you treat someone you love, I really don’t want to know how you’d treat someone you can’t stand.”

“I was never good enough for you, Alecia. I knew that. I didn’t know why you were with me. And when you started your business and it became successful, I was worried.”

“Worried?”

“That you’d figure out that I wasn’t good enough for you. I dumbed it down, made it seem insignificant, because I was too much of a pussy to simply be proud of you. And the rest?” He shrugs and shakes his head. “I’ve been going through some therapy to figure it out. I knew I was hurting you, and I hated it, but I couldn’t stop.”

“What’s the verdict?”

“I’m a selfish jerk.”

“Pretty close,” I reply with a nod. “You do realize that being a complete asshole to someone that you’re afraid of losing is not the way to keep them.”

“Hey, no one said I was smart.”

His face sobers.
 

“Your parents didn’t deserve you, blondie. I sure as fuck didn’t deserve you either. But it didn’t have anything at all to do with you not being lovable.”

“It seems I’m the common denominator here, J.”

He shakes his head adamantly. “You had shitty luck when it came to the people who were in your life. And I’ve wanted to see you for a long time to say I’m sorry.”

“Well, this isn’t what I was expecting.”

“Were you going to rail at me, throw my coffee in my lap, and stomp off all self-righteously?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, before you do that, just know that I’m sorry for being a douche. You deserve someone who will love you and appreciate you in ways no one ever has before. I want that for you, blondie.”

“Thanks,” I whisper, and bite my lip to keep the tears at bay.
 

“You never came to get your piano or your other things. They’re still at the house. You can come get them whenever you want.”

“You didn’t sell the house?”

“No.”

“I don’t want the piano.” I sniff and shake my head, looking out the window to the waterfront.

“Seriously? But you’re so damn good at it.”

“I only ever played it for my parents. I won’t play it again.” I gaze over at my ex-husband and finally offer him a soft smile. “It was good to see you too, J.”

He reaches for my hand, and for just this moment, I let him.
 

It feels familiar, but it’s not the hand I want to hold mine. Not even close.

“I want you to shine, Alecia. And I want to tell you, right here in our place, I’m so fucking proud of you.”

I lean in and kiss his hand, then smile at him. “Thank you.”
 

And with that, I stand and walk away, not looking back.

Chapter Twenty One

~Dominic~

God, I’m so fucking tired. Being gone from my vineyard for ten days was too damn long. Celeste is fantastic, but I like things to be done a certain way, so I’ve done nothing for the past forty-eight hours but work and sleep, trying to shake this God-forsaken jet lag.

I hit send on an email, cementing a partnership with a new restaurant in the Portland area called Seduction, intrigued by the five owners, and make a mental note to take a trip down there soon to check it out.

I begin reading through an application for an event for this fall, and stumble when I see that it’s Alecia who is planning the affair.

I wish she’d talk to me. I’ve tried to call her several times over the past few weeks, but she’s not answered, and I refuse to beg her to answer the goddamn phone via text.

That’s just ridiculous.

I eye my phone and wonder just how ridiculous it really is, just as there’s a knock on my door, and am surprised to find Steven standing outside my office.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, as I stand and gesture for him to come inside. I close the door behind him.

“Oh, yes, I called earlier and Celeste said you were in today, so I thought I’d drop in and see how your trip went.”

“It was…necessary,” I reply and sit in my chair as he takes a seat before me. “But the issue seems to be resolved now.”

I secured a loan for Gianna, without telling her that I’m the one backing it, so she can get back on her feet. And I managed to have a heart-to-heart with Marco, right after I knocked him on his ass.

Both were immensely satisfying.

“I’m glad you’re home,” my father replies with a smile. He steeples his hands. “Did Alecia enjoy Italy?”

I lean back in my chair and shake my head. “She didn’t go.”

“Why not?”

I watch my father and consider lying, but instead I simply say, “I think I fucked up, and Alecia and I are done.”

He cocks a brow. “What did you do?”

I stand and turn my back to him, push my hands in my pockets and stare out the window that looks out over my land. The remnants from Will’s wedding are long gone, and it’s as though Alecia was never here.

Except that I see her everywhere I look.

“I thought I caught her having an affair with her best friend,” I admit softly. “I was angry. Hurt, actually.”

“Of course.”

“But now, I’m not so sure that what I saw was what it looked like, and I can’t get her to take my calls. I have a feeling she’s done with me.”

I sigh and turn back to him.
 

“So now, I need to know how I’m supposed to get her out of my system and move on.”

“Well, you know what they say about getting a woman out of your head, son. Put another one in your bed.”

My eyes narrow as anger shoots through me.

“I’m not interested in fucking someone else. I can’t hop from the bed of the woman I’m in love with to someone else’s. Maybe you can tell me how to do that,
Dad.
”

Steven doesn’t even flinch. “I deserve that.” He nods slowly for a moment.
 

“Yes, you do.”

“I think it’s very telling that you’re not interested in other women, Dom. Maybe it’s not as over as you think it is. Seems a shame to give up on something you worked so hard to have in your life.”

“She won’t speak to me,” I remind him. “And now that we’re on the subject, how could you do it? How could you bounce from Gail to my mom?”

“I didn’t
bounce
anywhere,” he replies coldly. “I thought my marriage was over, and I was an idiot. I regretted it for a long time. I don’t anymore.”

“Why?” I ask with surprise.

“Because of you.” He shrugs and then sighs. “You were the best part of your mother’s life, Dominic. I never saw her again, but I can guarantee you that much. And now we have you in our family, and I couldn’t be more thankful.”

“I disrupted your life, and I’m quite sure I put undue stress on your marriage last year.”

“You did neither.” He waves me off and laughs ruefully. “My wife knew all about your mother not long after it happened more than thirty years ago. It wasn’t a secret between us. Was it a surprise? The biggest of my life. And it was an adjustment for my other children, but I think it’s obvious that you’re accepted and loved, Dominic.”

Loved?

I think back on the past year, at how the Montgomerys have folded me into their family, accepted me unconditionally. I am their brother, without hesitation.

Even Gail has been nothing but gracious.

Yes, they are my family and I love them back. I’d do anything for any of them.

“I’m grateful for all of you,” I murmur.

“There’s no need to be grateful, son.” He grins at me with the smile of a man who has everything he could ever want. “Family just
is
. Now, about your Alecia.”

“She’s not mine.”

“You’re not interested in anyone else. You’re trying to reach out to her.” He seems to be struggling with what to say, and he finally says, “Give her some time.”

“What do you know?” I ask, suspicious that he isn’t telling me everything.

“I know that it’s not my story to tell. Alecia has had a rough go of it lately, and maybe she just needs some space.”

“Fuck that. If she needs me, I’ll go take care of her.”

“I didn’t say she needed anyone to take care of her,” he replies sternly. “I said she needs time.”

“I’m not a patient man.”

“Well, you come by that honestly,” he says with a chuckle. “I’d like for you to show me your operation here, and then I’d like to have lunch with my son, if you’re up for it.”

My eyebrows climb into my hairline in surprise. “I’m definitely up for it.”

“Excellent.”

We walk through the grounds, the barn where the barrels are stored, the production barn, the store. He’s engrossed in all of it, just as he is each time he comes out here.