Wolf's-own: Koan (40 page)

Jacin stayed limp and pliant as a hand landed on his shoulder and rolled him to his back. But when that hand settled over his, tugging at Malick's ring, he couldn't stay pliant anymore. He snapped up and reached out at the same time, wrenching himself up into a crouch and snatching at Leu. She jolted back quickly, like she'd expected it, and the short length of the chains prevented Jacin from lunging after her.

"You see why I thought it best he be restrained,” she said wryly as she dragged herself up. “And disarmed.” Her hazel eyes had never left Jacin's, and he glared back into them with every bit of anger in him. “It isn't what you think, Fen-seyh."

No? He hadn't been attacked, drugged and chained to a wall?

"Allow me to apologize for the... accommodations,” said the soft baritone.

Jacin shifted his glance just enough to take in the man who was slowly—and perhaps somewhat painfully, it seemed—lowering his bulk down to crouch in front of Jacin. White-haired, and big—bigger than Samin. The hair and beard were long and straight and white, as well, like that Seb, and there were tattoos everywhere, but the similarities ended there. This man's skin was nearly as white as his hair beneath the intricate ink, and his eyes.... It was no trick of the light, Jacin decided. The irises of the man's eyes really were red.

"I am Rihansei. And this....” He gestured around them. “This is my sovereignty."

Jacin's gaze roved the small, dark space, with its bare stone walls and its guttering lamps set around a small pool steaming in the center of the... room. Cave? Dungeon? It reminded him of the baths in the Girou, which made Jacin think of Malick. His eyes stung, and that just wouldn't do, not now, so he pushed it away.

More chains hung from the wall opposite, right beside a pile of bright-colored cushions set next to an ornate water pipe, which in turn sat next to what looked like a tea scuttle steaming over a small peat fire. The walking stick was propped to the damp stone wall just beside it. Dozens of the tiny lizards slouched like a spray of emeralds around the edge of the pool. Jacin didn't know what to make of any of it.

Was he supposed to be impressed? He let his eyebrow rise and his mouth pinch down. Because he really wasn't. What he
was
was completely fucked.

You're not anyone's but Fate's until you choose a god and pledge yourself. Until then, you are more or less up for grabs to all of the gods, and any of their
Temshiel
or maijin who might be sent to persuade you.

Well, this was one form of persuasion, Jacin supposed. This Rihansei didn't look like either
Temshiel
or maijin, but Leu was. She was Wolf's, as far as Jacin knew, but she'd worked for Asai.

Unfortunately, you're also vulnerable to any of them that might decide an Incendiary is too dangerous and try to get rid of you.

Was
Leu still Wolf's? Had Wolf decided the batshit Incendiary wasn't what he wanted after all? Or had Leu lost her god and gone looking for another to take her? She was maijin, so maybe she'd fucked up enough to be exiled to
banpair
and intended to snuff out the Incendiary for whichever god—or gods—wanted the abomination gone. Which might not be such a horrible thing, but there was also Joori and Morin to consider. Because if Jacin let himself die now, would Imara's promise to Malick to protect them hold? And even if it did, what would happen when Malick got back?

They're nothing to me but tools to please you with, and if you're not here, I've no reason to keep them around. Everything's a fucking trade, right? Here's mine—you're gone, I'm gone.

Jacin hadn't been sure if he'd entirely believed it when Malick had made the threat, but even so, was it a chance he had the right to take?

And anyway, what had happened to all of that freedom bullshit Jacin had talked himself into believing only... probably hours ago? Why, when actually faced with the possibility, did all of his
if I never have to know, I'll never have to care
reasoning fall apart like shattered glass? He cared a lot. Just the thought of Joori and Morin looking at him with Caidi's dead eyes....

He should have known he'd been fooling himself. He
had
known he was fooling himself, but with Asai in his face all the time—pushing him harder than Malick had ever had the ruthlessness to do, seemingly trying very hard to deliberately shove every bit of sanity from Jacin's mind altogether—fooling himself had seemed like a better alternative. It wasn't an alternative here. If he wanted to get out of this—and he did—he'd better start paying very close attention.

Rihansei was still staring at him with those unnerving red eyes. “Such a busy head,” he murmured, reflective, “for one who so rarely hears his own voice.” He stroked at the silky white of his beard. “So many lives buried inside you, although... I think not all of the shrouds are of your making."

"Rihansei,” Leu said, warning, “I brought him here to hide him, not so you could—"

"And once he stepped through the Gate, he ceased to be your concern.” Rihansei turned a mild look over his shoulder.

Jacin snorted—he couldn't help it—and scowled between the two of them. “I hardly ‘stepped through'."

"No?” Thin white eyebrows lifted. “And you remember this, do you?"

Rihansei smiled a little when Jacin tightened his jaw. Because no, Jacin didn't actually remember. He remembered... hands on him, and... taking a swipe at Leu, and then dark eyes coming at him, and... nothing. He slid his gaze to Leu's arm; her sleeve was cut neatly and stiff with dried blood, but the skin Jacin knew his knife had split was smooth and unmarred.

"A
Temshiel
of Raven fell to your knives before my men managed to... calm you down."

Rihansei shrugged unapologetically when Jacin's hand went to the back of his neck, the chains clinking echoes in the little dungeon. He looked at his hands, at the smears of blood caked into the whorls of palms and fingertips.

"I killed a
Temshiel
?” Jacin peered between Leu and Rihansei, trying to fathom why they might lie about something like that, and if they weren't, why the hell couldn't he remember it? He had a vague idea that should terrify him, but he reminded himself that it was quite possible none of this was real, so what was the point of fear? “Was I not supposed to?"

"Ha!” Rihansei slapped at his knee, amused. “In the strictest sense, I'm not quite certain."

"It's better off,” Leu put in, eyeing Rihansei with blatant mistrust. “Ari would have killed him. It's too obvious she knew."

"Hm,” Rihansei said. He tilted his head. “How did you come here, little Catalyst?"

Why did people keep calling Jacin “little,” anyway? He was taller than... well, he was tall. Maybe not taller than this man, but even Samin wasn't taller than this man.

Jacin's mouth pinched. “I've no idea how I came here,” he snapped. He lifted one arm and let the chain clank loudly. “Why don't you tell me?"

"I give no answers a man can find for himself,” Rihansei retorted serenely.

Leu rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything. Though she watched Rihansei warily when he lowered his hand and three of the lizards hopped up to curl around his fingers.

"Who sent you to my Gate, little vagary?"

Jacin paused, watching the tiny creatures climb over the back of the wide, bone-white hand and curl into the ink and color, almost blending right into the intricate design of the tattoo. He tried to look closer—without looking like he was looking—but it was almost as though the pattern shifted with the writhing of the lizards, and he couldn't tell what the tattoo was supposed to represent.

Old magic, that was what it meant to have one's body adorned with ink, at least here in Tambalon, but Jacin didn't really know more than that. He didn't even really know how he knew that much. Absorbed from Malick's random chatter, probably, hitting on one topic after another, trying to get Jacin to take an interest in something, and it made Jacin's throat close up, because if he'd asked about the tattoos, Malick would've told him. And now Malick wasn't here, and Jacin didn't know.

"Come now, little firebrand—who sent you?"

Jacin's teeth clenched. “The name is—"

"Insignificant,” Rihansei cut in, “as most names are. What a man
is
is hardly ever what he calls himself.” He paused, eyes slightly narrowed. “And, I think, your father's name is not a thing you value so much as you think you should. You spend a lot of time thinking about and being what you think you should think and be, don't you, little vagary?” He chuckled a little when Jacin merely glared. “Answer the question.” Stern, but the red eyes were almost twinkling, like Jacin amused him. “Who sent you to me?"

"A man at a stall,” Jacin answered, dull and sullen, and too pissed off and thrown to care. “He tried to.... He gave me your name and told me where to find you. Told me I needed you."

Rihansei's eyebrows rose. “And who told him, I wonder?"

"What difference does it make?” Jacin glared up through the hair hanging lank over his eyes. He rattled the chains again. “I'm pretty sure I didn't need
this
."

Leu sighed. “Fen-seyh, this is not what you think it is. You are not a prisoner.” She reached toward the chains, but when Jacin tensed and took a swipe at her, she moved back again. She shook her head and waved at them instead. “For your protection. Until Kamen gets back."

Jacin had no idea how she thought he was supposed to feel about that. “So, you think M— Kamen will thank you for keeping me chained up in... wherever the fuck this is until... when?"

"Kamen will probably send me to spirit again, but he'll at least do it painlessly if you're still alive when he gets back. And you'll stay here until I think I can unlock you without you killing me or bolting. The Patrol were called out, Fen-seyh. You're wanted now. You can't leave here or they'll find you and arrest you, and then we'll have no control over what happens to you.” Leu cut a steady look at Rihansei. “He is Kamen's. When Kamen gets back, he'll—"

"When Kamen gets back he will, perhaps, find that what is ‘his’ is, in fact, Wolf's. And what is Wolf's has, in fact, never truly been."

"Don't give me your riddles!"

"
Life
is a riddle, Wolf's-own.” Rihansei wiggled his fingers and lowered his hand; the lizards all trooped obediently down to the stone and scuttered off to lounge at the pool. “When Fate places a man at the Gate, it is not ours to close it in his face. He is here so that he might—"

"
We
are here because Kamen trusts you, and because you happen to have the"—Leu flipped a disdainful wave over the chains—"facilities necessary."

"Kamen trusts no one,” Rihansei answered with a smirk. “Except for, perhaps, the one who holds his heart and soul in a bloody fist.” He eyed Malick's ring on Jacin's finger for a moment then turned a sly glance up at Jacin. “Why are you here, little Catalyst?"

Jacin swallowed and sent an uncomfortable glance at Leu. Whatever was going on here, she obviously didn't like it. Not that Jacin did, either, but still.

"Kamen talked about The Gates of Rapture just... just before he....” He couldn't make himself say it.

"Ah,” said Rihansei, nodding slowly and stroking at the straight, silky length of white beard. “You're very angry with him."

Jacin looked away. “He's
Temshiel
,” he said hoarsely. “He should've... he was foolish to let his guard down."

And he promised.

"Kamen now and then plays the fool, but he is never foolish—not even for love. I think he sees more in you than you would like, though I doubt he knows truly what it is he sees. And you cannot bring yourself to look, though that fault, I think, lies not entirely with you.” Rihansei pushed his bulk slowly upright and lumbered over to the little fire. “It is time to wake up, little firebrand,” he said as he bent over the scuttle and ladled out a bowl of... well, it looked and smelled like tea when he brought it back over and held it out to Jacin. “I haven't much in the way of hospitality,” he said with what looked like a kind smile. “But since you are already prepared, I expect we might as well take advantage."

"
No
,” Leu snapped and made a grab at the bowl. Jacin didn't know what to make of it. She seemed... protective. “Give me the damned key, Rihansei.” She held out her hand, demanding. “I'll take him....” Her hand closed into a fist, and she looked at Jacin, anxious. “Fen-seyh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do, where else might be safe.” She glared at Rihansei. “He is of the gods, you don't know what your kind of magic might do to him, and if Kamen—"

"Do not play at ignorance with me, Wolf's-own,” Rihansei said calmly. “He is not of the gods. Wolf has perhaps claimed him, but Fate made him. And now the Incendiary has found his way to the Gate. You would take away a man's choices?"

"Damn it, we've got him
chained to a wall
—you're not handing him a choice, you're giving him an ultimatum.” Leu clenched her teeth and stepped between Jacin and Rihansei, threatening. “Wait until Kamen gets back, Rihansei. The servants of all the gods have respected your ‘sovereignty', but don't forget it sits in the heart of the gods’ purview."

All Jacin could do was stare. And then he just continued to stare when Leu gasped as though struck and went sailing back into the stone of the wall behind her.

Rihansei merely turned back and patiently held the bowl once again in front of Jacin.

"Don't drink that,” Leu told Jacin, breathless. She tried to get up, but it seemed like she was being held down by an invisible weight. “Damn it, Rihansei, this was not what—” And then she was just gone. Not to shadow—Jacin would have recognized that. Just there one second and—
blip
—gone the next.

Jacin continued to stare where Leu had been, no real opinion on the matter, except maybe a little shock and a great deal of confusion. What the hell was going on here? Leu had seemed like she was trying to protect Jacin—for Malick?—and yet she was apparently the one who'd brought him here and had him chained up like an animal. And intended to keep him here until Malick got back. And what was in that bloody tea that she was so adamant Jacin not drink?